Tighty Whities For Nerds And Dads

The army had a new gimmick to attract new recruits. They set up a recruitment booth at the nearby college campus and sent two of their hottest officers. Sending their best looking men on the job wasn't new, but this time they added a "sign-up meter" and had the men take off an item of their uniform each time they reached a certain number of sign-ups.

The only problem was that the program was far too effective. What they didn't realize was that they had set up their recruitment booth right beside a Pride event, and the gay students were getting riled up to see a couple army men get undressed. Their highest target originally had them strip down to their silkies at most, but they reached that target within just the first two hours. And due to the overwhelming demand from the students, the recruitment officers added even more targets and had them strip even more.

You gave him a quizzical look. "Um, sure whatever floats your boat. I mean we haven't seen anyone so I think we're the only ones on this trail right now. You should be safe."

"Thanks man!" He says as he rips off his shirt and slips off his shorts, revealing his massive meatstick. You've been friends for years, but this was the first time you've seen it and you can't stop staring. "I didn't bring a bag so could you hold on to these for me?"

You stuffed his clothes in your backpack before continuing the hike, secretly watching his ass jiggle as he trekked onwards.

Moments later, he noticed a group of girls taking a water break ahead of the hiking trail. "Look dude, think any of them are single? Before I make a move, could you make sure I still smell alright?" He lifted his arms and placed his hands behind his head showing his sweaty pits. "And Imma need those clothes back."

You move closer to sniff him taking in his manly musk. "Yeah, smells good to me," you say before walking closer to the group of girls.

"Hey, I think they can see us already. You can give me my clothes back anytime soon. Dude, can you hear me? I said I need those clothes back, man. I'm naked!"

"If you really want to make a good first impressions then I think your current outfit should help. Hey ladies, my friend here wants to introduce himself!" You immediately caught the group's attention. Your friend held his hands on his crotch and hid behind you, but you grabbed him by the shoulders and nudged him forward. The ladies were all looking right at him, enjoying how he could barely hide the size of his manhood with his hands.

He was blushing and suddenly so shy. "Come on man, could I please have my clothes back," he timidly pleaded to you.

"I think it's best if the ladies decided, don't you think?" You grab his clothes and handed them over to the group.

One of them was enjoying herself a bit too much, smiling as he squirmed from embarrassment. "We wouldn't want your clothes to get too sweaty and stinky now, right girls? I think it's for your own good that we hold on to these for the time being." You continued the hike together all the while teasing your naked friend who was now visibly flustered and weirdly aroused. It took him a while to finally accept his fate, no longer hiding his erection and even letting the ladies play with it every now and then.

When you eventually reached the end of the trail, the group of ladies parted ways, handing your friend their numbers as their goodbye.

We know that for some of you, returning to work might impact your budgets. Considering the increased cost of commuting, the company is also aware that while working remotely, it is likely that many of you have been living by a more “relaxed” dress code, while working. Since it’s been a few years, and bodies tend to change over that time, there might be an increased cost to employees who have to replace their dress code appropriate wardrobe to return to the office.

For this reason, management has permitted Human Resources to offer employees a solution. If the cost of replacing your workplace appropriate wardrobe is too high, all employees are invited to opt into an exciting new program at our company. Rather than worrying about whether what you are wearing meets our office dress code, and to facilitate the feelings of “working from home,” employees who opt into the Network Undressed and Deliver Excellence (NUDE) Program, are permitted to come to work without their clothing.

John had lost significant weight since he started working from home. Rather than wasting his time small talking at the office, he had been able to fit a fitness regimen into his daily work schedule. His old suits hung off him, and even belted, his slacks barely managed to hold onto his waist.

“I think I might have to opt in,” John told his husband, as they looked over their budget.

They could afford a couple days worth of new clothes, but inflation had gotten so high, that even shopping at Ross, he’d have to spend a small fortune to get enough clothes for a week’s worth of work. And then, he’d have to pay dry cleaning fees, and he’d have to wash twice as many clothes between work clothes and home clothes, so laundry prices would skyrocket. And he’d be spending way more on gas just to get to and from work.

Ultimately, there were no other budget corners he could cut, so he emailed HR and let them know he would be opting into the NUDE Program.

He barely slept the night before he returned to work. He tossed and turned, terrified and horny. Even after his husband sucked him off, he still couldn’t get his swollen penis to calm down, as he thought about the fact that in the morning, he’d be required to undress at the office, and spend his entire first day back, completely naked in front of coworkers he hadn’t seen in-person for years.

And he’d have to spend the next day working naked around them too. And the next. And the next. Until he retired in twenty years. Twenty years.

When his alarm went off, he showered, and slipped on boxers, sweatpants, and t-shirt. He’d undress once he was in the office.

But of course, when he got to the office, security wouldn’t let him in.

“We’re sorry sir, but you’ve opted into the NUDE Program,” the security guard said, grinning evilly.

John watched as several coworkers walked past him, all fully dressed in suits and ties.

“I did,” John said, trying to avoid making eye contact with his coworkers who were lining up on the inside of the glass doors to watch.

“If you’d read the policy, you’d understand that the program requires you to come to work without your clothing.” Security said.

“I was planning on undressing once I got to my desk,” John said.

“But that means you came to work with your clothing,” security said. “Policy specifically says without.”

“So you expect me to strip down out in the parking lot?” John asked.

“No,” security said. “I expect you to strip down at home, and leave your clothes at home.”

“You expect me to drive all the way to work naked?”

“Or ride the bus, or walk, or bike,” the security agent said.

“You can’t be serious,” John shook his head. “I’d get arrested.”

“Take it up with HR,” Security said. “I’ve been told I can only buzz you in if you leave your clothing with me. Any clothing brought on company property by volunteers in the NUDE Program will be considered company property, so you can either strip or be stripped.”

John grumbled, but he knew there would be know way to voice his concerns to HR if he didn’t comply, so he slipped off his t-shirt, aware of the faces pressed to the glass, watching his skin come into view. He made eye contact with the man who’d had the cubicle next to his before the remote work policy. The man wolf-whistled through the glass.

“This is humiliating,” John said to the security guard, preparing himself to ditch the pants and boxers.

“You’re the one who opted in,” the security guard said, shrugging.

John knew it would do him no good to delay. He pushed down his sweats and boxers at the same time, and stepped out, fully naked in front of his coworkers.

It was humiliating, as he felt the sun and the breeze and the eyes of his coworkers in the windows, and the security guard next to him, all directly on his penis, which flopped back and forth in it’s new freedom.

He fought the urge to cover up. Being on display was humiliating, but he didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of knowing he was humiliated. It took everything in him to keep his arms at his sides, but he managed it.

“John, you must not have read the whole policy,” Devin, John’s HR rep told him, as John sat, still totally naked across from Devin in Devin’s office.

“I read it!” John insisted.

“Not according to the security guard,” Devin said shaking his head.

“I knew I had to come to work naked,” John said. “But I could get arrested for public indecency if I actually come to work naked.”

“We’ve already talked to City Council, and they passed a city ordinance last week,” Devin said, shrugging it off. “For business purposes, public decency laws are suspended. Meaning, anyone naked for the purposes of their employment gets a free pass.”

“You can’t be serious,” John said.

“Oh, I’m serious,” Devin replied. “And it’s good exposure, forgive the pun, for our company to have you be seen around town naked. After all, you’re the only one who opted into the NUDE Program.”

“Wait, you mean I’m going to be the only one walking around bare ass naked in the office?”

“Careful with the word choice, John,” Devin said. “Just because you’re naked doesn’t give you a reason to use inappropriate language. But, yes. You’re our only NUDE Program employee.”

“And I don’t suppose I get a private office because of that?” John asked.

“Hardly,” Devin replied. “Your desk is center of the floor now. For company morale, of course.”

John shook his head, as out of words as he was out of clothing.

“One last thing, John,” Devin said, grinning a little cruelly. “We have a three strikes clause in the policy. If you get a third strike, we are permitted to seize all clothing assets of anyone participating in the NUDE Program.”

“That can’t be legal,” John said.

“I assure you it is,” Devin said. “And this morning you are already up to two strikes. First, you showed up clothed, which is a clear strike, and second you were late for work, after you had your disagreement with Security.”

John stared at Devin open-mouthed.

“You know,” Devin said, his grin widening, “I could write you up for the foul language you used in my office this morning too.”

John felt his stomach plummet.

So, he decided “fuck underwear,” threw on the first pair of shorts he grabbed, and ran out the door in order to meet the man he dreamed of impressing.

Damien didn’t realize that, while his dick was bouncing around within the confines of his shorts, the fabric of his shorts was completely see through! Many men’s heads turned, eyes transfixed as they watched that meaty girth flip-flopping from one thigh to the other while Damien ran. He had no idea that he was causing an epidemic of erections in every man he passed by.

As soon as Damien met up with his date, the man’s eyes just about shot out of his head. He couldn’t believe that Damien would be so forward! Yeah, he was hot, but he always seemed so shy in their messages. He would barely share any pictures of himself without even a shirt on.

And here he was, jogging up to him with the head of his thick, bulging, blowjob-worthy cock perfectly on display for him. It was like Damien was begging him to suck his dick!

With a smirk on his lips, Damien’s date decided that he would have that dick in his mouth by the end of this date, come hell or high water! Damien was clearly making the effort to woo him. It would only be rude not to sink to his knees behind the first dumpster they came across on their run and bring Damien to tears with his well-developed skills in fellatio, right?

So, he decided “fuck underwear,” threw on the first pair of shorts he grabbed, and ran out the door in order to meet the man he dreamed of impressing.

Damien didn’t realize that, while his dick was bouncing around within the confines of his shorts, the fabric of his shorts was completely see through! Many men’s heads turned, eyes transfixed as they watched that meaty girth flip-flopping from one thigh to the other while Damien ran. He had no idea that he was causing an epidemic of erections in every man he passed by.

As soon as Damien met up with his date, the man’s eyes just about shot out of his head. He couldn’t believe that Damien would be so forward! Yeah, he was hot, but he always seemed so shy in their messages. He would barely share any pictures of himself without even a shirt on.

And here he was, jogging up to him with the head of his thick, bulging, blowjob-worthy cock perfectly on display for him. It was like Damien was begging him to suck his dick!

With a smirk on his lips, Damien’s date decided that he would have that dick in his mouth by the end of this date, come hell or high water! Damien was clearly making the effort to woo him. It would only be rude not to sink to his knees behind the first dumpster they came across on their run and bring Damien to tears with his well-developed skills in fellatio… right?

Apparently amidst the rush of everyone else getting ready, he steps out of the house completely naked with nothing but a bar of soap. You follow him all the way behind the tool shed and find him pouring water over himself from a rusty old faucet. He jumps in surprise when he suddenly notices you watching him.

“Damn bro, never knew you were putting a little show out here every morning,” you say.

He blushes and moves the wash basin to his crotch when he catches your eye drifting downward. “Yeah… There ain’t any other way for me to get ready on time, especially with only one bathroom in the house.”

“You don’t even bring a towel with ya! No wonder the floor gets so wet every morning,” you take a step closer which only makes him even more uncomfortable. “I can’t believe none of us knew you go outside butt naked every morning. What would you even do if we locked the house up without even knowing that you were still out here like this!”

“Well, it hasn’t happened yet…” he chuckled nervously.