chaos wizard

Goes to show how little I know

The really crazy part is the Twitter post is the original and the tumblr post is the one that's plagiarized

Net zero info ass post

We literally can see in both the screenshots that the tumblr post was posted first (also evilvillain123456789 lies recreationally, constantly) why are y'all so bad at fact-checking literally anything

Stop

Shoutout to the nun who had other nuns tie her up and pour hot wax on her as she confessed her sins

@theswisscheeserag Hm.

this is going around again and the tags are full of people talking about printing it out to put in their breakroom or cubicle or sending it to their coworkers, which fills me with great joy. vast diversity of professions represented also. zoos. labs. summer camps. restaurants. garden centers. libraries. schools. many reports from the brave warriors of assorted retail. a truth universally acknowledged: if there is a sign a customer will not read it <3 and they don't read emails either <3

i get a $250 million production budget to adapt beowulf into a summer blockbuster and at the end beowulf is contemplating his reign as king in his old age and the passing of time and we hear some kids say something he doesn't quite understand and he says stoically "it's as if the English i speak is becoming old..."

Evil Shakespeare be like: MacDeath

truly hope tumblr doesn’t ever really die out because gif making is absolutely and utterly useless except for getting 50 notes on here and yet i don’t wanna stop

Gets abducted by aliens and put in a zoo and slowly figures out how their language works and starts writing swear words on the glass when the alien children walk by

The aliens are like wait you can write and I’m like yeah I can talk too and they’re like why didn’t you say something sooner and I’m like well I figured you wouldn’t let me go since you’re clearly willing to kidnap a sapient being so I’m just taking revenge by making your toddlers more annoying

The aliens are like we didn’t know humans were sapient and I’m like did you miss all of that human civilization literally everywhere and they’re like what and I’m like look at the planet at night and they’re like holy fuck those lights are people we’ve been trapping and releasing people and meanwhile I’ve returned to writing swear words on the glass with my little alien sharpie

I glare at you from across the enclosure for ruining my alienthropology research by making them aware of being observed

Ignores you and keeps teaching a child that speaks alien sign language all the rude words for alien genitalia through the glass

prev: #u forgot the best part#the artist figured out the gig and was like#i draw for u for the rest of my life#these chinese netizens are having shojou level romances

Ok actually genuine tip for new tumblr users: if you see a post you like and want to reblog but theres a bad/annoying added on bit in the reblog chain feel free to just reblog that post straight from op or the last person who knew how to mind their business

Or just mock the edition. That usually works

oR jUsT mOcK tHE eDiTiON. tHaT uSuAlLy WoRkS