The (mis)adventures of Apoptomon

okay i know i've already talked about it before but in light of gunk reaching out the "i support hydaelyn's decision to sunder the world into 14 reflections, but not THIS boss form. what the hell". something that i think we need to accept and love about Momther is that her taste is kinda bad. like this is a wise and happy and loving middle aged woman with a collection of kitschy novelty mugs. she invented the Sparkly Dog With Long Silky Golden Hair That You Have To Lovingly Braid Out Of Its Unsettling Blue Eyes. and she loved this weird ass awful Thang so much. so so much. she left it to you in Her will even. you have to take it to the intersideral dog groomer salon on a weekly basis. like she loves cute and frilly things she would LOVE to put her cat in a poofy frilly white dress absolutely covered in ribbons. like this is very much what she did to minfilia when She called her to become the word of the mother. argos makeover kinda deal. she's matching with the dog for the family picture you'll send your relatives as a christmas card. i mean just look at what ryne looks like. the only scion she ever directly (and consensually) possessed is a cute blonde-adjacent lalafell girl with blue eyes who's wearing a cat-ears hoodie. like Her taste kinda sucks. she never forced anyone to go with it though like i get the idea She would genuinely be enchanted if you loved cute lolita dresses as much as She does but would never force you to wear it if you didn't want to. but She kinda has lame and sorta bad taste. it's endearing even. my mom who loves pretty things and absurdly pink ribbons

like, hydaelyn's boss form is so funny She's like your divorced mom who's got no idea about what fashion is in vogue nowadays just going all out extremely earnestly and wearing all the things that She thought were pretty and flattering in Her youth. She's wearing blue eyeshadow. She's looking weirdly sexy in a way that's a bit unnerving because That's Your Mom and like, you're glad She's having a great time with your new stepdad (the Bereaved Father Of Dragonkind) (widower) and enjoying Herself before you send Her on Her very last seaside vacation (flowdotmp3), and She's happy and glowing, but also Her taste is still pretty bad. in an endearing kitschy mom way.

#ffxiv#ff14#ok but the combination of Hydaelyn as your kitschy cute mom and Midgardsormr as her New Widower Boyfriend is absolutely sending me#Knowing what midgardsormr looks and acts like next to all the other dragons we meet#It's like your mom with the heart apron and the ceramic bunny pattern tea sets is like#'Hey honey I need to go away to have that Ascian injury treated but I asked my handsome boyfriend to take you camping in the meantime'#And in walks a balding ex-navy seal with eyes that have Killed Men In The War and decided biker fashion was going to be his retirement look#Who looks down at you in thinly veiled disgust while a metal cover of 'Make A Man Out Of You' plays in the distance#And you're like wtf mom he's going to literally kill me in the woods#Except when she comes back in her new cute kitty ears raincoat#you're stumbling half-dead out of the woods able to shoot and skin a deer fly a helicopter and file your own taxes#And you're telling her about how he pulled out a shotgun on the creepy no-boundaries guy from work and you're lowkey thinking of asking#him to walk you down the isle one day. If you can get him out of jail in time.#While she nods along to you talking with this incredibly knowing expression while apologizing for being gone so long (prev)

#you also learn a while later that he had to carry his own babies in a kangooroo bag or smth while crossing the arctic by foot #it helps to recontextualize a few things