Bibliophile.

My 2021 Goodreads Reading Challenge is 50! I've set it up pretty high this year (i'm feeling a little ambitious).

“We used to be inseparable. I was so scared of letting you know how I felt because it might ruin the friendship we have. But that’s a risk I willingly took because I thought you cared enough not to hurt me.” For months I tried to swerve away from this topic, but I couldn’t run from it forever. I was rooted to where I was standing hoping to be anywhere but here, to be at any moment but now.

“You pushed me away. You didn’t talk to me for weeks. You shut me out!” His voice grew louder with every sentence. He ran his fingers through his hair and looked up, a habit whenever he’s frustrated.

“I swear, I tried to forget. I dated, jumping from one girl to another. And just when I thought I’ve moved on, I saw you, your smile, your eyes and how you could easily make me laugh, how I don’t have to try to be anyone but myself around you, and everything just came crushing back.” His voice slowed and I was suddenly aware of the tears streaming down my cheeks. I hate seeing how hurt he is and to make it even worse, I’m the one causing it.

“I welcomed the pain because I thought maybe then it will change my feelings.” He looked at me intensely. His gaze, sad and longing.

“But it didn’t. It’s crazy because I fell for you even more.” I wanted to say something, anything to wipe all the sadness in his eyes. I care about him deeply but I don’t feel the same way. He’s waiting for my answer, looking at me hopefully. But when my silence lengthen as I struggle for a word to say, he heard my feelings loud and clear.