:-)

Everybody in the club Yield to my will

The loudest guy in the fucking world: hey man

There's more after 'hey man' but you're deaf now

My favorite banned terms on this site are "suicide prevention" and "safe sex"

Fuck nasty and kill yourself inmediately after

Salmon male grindset

I miss pjackks jellybean era

I miss da era where u passed out in bath tub cuz u sneezed to hard and fell your ass right on the holiday dinnerfish and it got scared and jumped in the toilet and swam down da drain

You promised not to tell anyone about that

trying to get a panty shot but she’s wearing a million petticoats and i’m just suffocating in them and my funeral sucks

just molted for the first time ama

U feelin' mushy? Easily susceptible to predation..?

ok no more questions

Ok but why are the suckers and losers trying to kill me today

“touch of the ‘tism” = punishable offense

people will be like "i'm bored" meanwhile there's baking soda and vinegar in the cupboard. make a volcano dude

i love reblogging posts 🤩🤩🤩

"don't assign human morality to non human things" is so true except when it comes to printers. they know what they are, they understand dilemmas and ethics and morality. they choose to be how they are, they choose to be evil, at their very core they are rotten

I just got the funniest caution message at the beginning of a Wikipedia article

practicing self care less out of self love and more for the sheer logical reasoning of it’d be kinda stupid of me to expect myself to be able to function without proper maintenance

“oh i don’t deserve rest and relaxation, i haven’t done enough, i haven’t earned it” and my car’s breaks don’t deserve break fluid because they aren’t breaking well enough to earn it. that’s what you sound like!!!!!