Chicago’s First Snow was about two weeks ago, and I was truly overjoyed for the day, before it was shattered upon receiving my perspectives midterm back. My preceptor said at the outset before passing them back in the discussion group that “most people got a B+, which isn’t terrible, but there is room for improvement.” Thanks, preceptor, considering that anything less than a B in graduate school is actually considered failing, making a B+ the equivalent of a C or C-. It was particularly infuriating because the thing that everyone had failed to do was define specific terms from different perspectives; e.g. “superbase/structure” or “alientated” if discussing the Marxist perspective. The reason none of us--including myself--did not define these terms is not for lack of good writing skills, but because we were explicitly told to write the paper *FOR* the preceptors/MAPSS audience! We only had 6-8 doublespaced pages (which means only 3-4 pages of actual writing) to flesh out THREE perspectives AND make an argument for an interpretation of the piece we were given to apply these perspectives to. They even told us not to worry about proper citation, or a bibliography, because that’s how tailored to the audience it was. So none of us defined terms, and the entire cohort was marked down for it. Out of 270 people, only 17 people got an A or A-. The course is seriously set up for failure; I think it’s some way of creating a use for themselves. It truly is the most useless course I’ve ever taken. The amount of hand-holding that is done is also embarrassing- just when I thought I had shaken off this ridiculous course/my preceptor group for the quarter, I’ve learned that in addition to the three classes I will be taking for the winter quarter, I have to attend a 2 hr discussion group AGAIN with my preceptor group as a workshop for our MA proposals. I didn’t pay 50k to attend this school to be forced to help other MA students craft a good idea/proposal. Why on earth this is required is completely beyond me.Â
The funny thing is that I am actually doing extremely well in my other two courses, despite some depression I’ve been experiencing. In my Food & Cuisine course I actually wrote a prospectus that will double as my MA proposal for MAPSS and I earned a solid A on it, and the attention of a well-known Anthro faculty member. In Cultural Psychology we have five total papers over the quarter to submit in addition to the midterm, and I’ve earned solid As on all four I’ve turned in at this point. We get the grades for our midterms back tomorrow, which I’m really nervous about. I definitely took advantage of the soft guidelines and went over the ten page expectation, which I hope didn’t hurt my grade or my ability to be thorough and precise.Â
I definitely was having a rough go of things for most of October and bleeding into the beginning of November as well. It is very difficult to remember why I’m here, sometimes, especially when it’s so lonely. I feel as though I lose my grip on things easily when I’m overwhelmed. I tend to constantly keep the future and my chances of being happy in mind, and view every decision i make in the present as having a disproportionate amount of bearing on my future. I tend to think in “all or nothing” terms, and my world comes spiraling down daily.Â
I’ve been slacking off on a lot of readings lately, for all my courses. For perspectives, I just don’t see the point, being that I know what to expect of the final now that the midterm is over. If the discussion group was any good it would be incentive enough to do the reading, but the discussions are not very fruitful, so why bother? I still do what I can for Food and Cuisine, but the class is structured in a way that students actually present every single class on the material and try to stoke seminar-style conversations which never works. I get a good summary from them on the readings, and because the final is going to be research paper based on my own topic, the readings aren’t absolutely essential to me, though I wish I had the time to read them for my own interest and intellectual growth. I still do the readings for cultural psychology, mainly because it’s so fascinating and contentious that I can’t help but want to read these works.Â
The most salient thing I’ve learned so far in my short time at UChicago is that, like always, things are never what they seem. All the hype around UChicago being such a brutal and intense place just isn’t the case. It might be more stimulating or require more reading than other universities, but the people here aren’t any different than people I’ve met anywhere else; we’re all the same. As long as you’re able to rise to the occasion, you can do it. I’ve often overestimated other things in my life, like prestigious jobs and social statuses. I’ve always been a nervous kind of person to think that I won’t be smart enough or capable enough to handle various things, including UChicago. While it’s intense and deserves credit where credit is due, it’s doable.Â
I recently completed an embroidery project (above) where I sewed/beaded four constellations on a wool beret I purchased. It took probably 20 or so hours to complete, but I think it’s pretty, and gave me an excuse to shirk more readings. The constellations are: Pegasus, Ursa Major, Perseus, and Cetus.Â
Finals are coming up and thankfully I’ve only got two to worry about, Perspectives and Food and Cuisine. Cultural Psych doesn’t have a final, likely because of the five papers (4-5 pages each) due throughout the quarter. I know what to generally expect out of the Perspectives final, but I’m nervous about the Food and Cuisine final because it’s a research paper based on the prospectus written for the midterm. The prospectus was essentially just my MA proposal, so the research paper would be a mini version of my MA, which is daunting to complete within one week. I have a few sources already lined up, I just don’t know how to properly condense and tailor such a huge project to such a tiny space (really, it’ll be five pages of writing, which is nothing).Â
My boyfriend is driving down from Ithaca to visit me this week, which will be a lovely respite. He’s also forcing me to go to San Diego for a week during the Christmas break, which I’m not really looking forward to. For once in my life, I wanted a real-life snowy Christmas, and here was finally my chance. Now I’ll be in 70-degree weather as usual.Â
I’ve got the perspectives lecture in about three hours, so I’m going to do some reading! Enjoy the photos!











