Anthill’s Journal

I begin to pull myself up

But I don’t know how to be saved

So as I’m almost free

I let go

Of any chance I had

I feel myself start to resurface

Rising out of the suffocation

Gasping for air

As my lungs slowly refill

Still left with the remnants of the week

Caked on to every part of me

I will start to peel it away

Let my skin breathe

But as I have finally cleaned myself of the stress

The turmoil

The exhaustion

As soon as I can take a full breath

I am thrust back into the pit

Sinking

Drowning

Clawing my way around

Searching for the surface

Lost

Until the time to be found has come again

Yet my thoughts remain

Looming in the darkest corners of my mind

Stuck there for eternity

Memories may be replaced

But the feelings never will

Why

Why did I do this

Why did I think that

Why did I ever start

Why can’t I ever stop

Of my life

Of my future

Of me

I was so afraid of change

I am so afraid of change

But change comes as do the days

Ready or not

Change is there to grasp you tight

But it’s your choice

To let it smother you

Or simply hold you in its embrace