you aren’t what I need.
the first time we met, I should have known it.
the only thing you ever learned about me was that my favorite color was burgundy.
since then I said a lot of other things worth knowing. and yet, you did not listen.
so the fairytale fell apart somewhere between the first time we met and the first time I let you lay me in your bed.
in reality, I don’t know who I’m more disgusted with.
you, for your carelessness, for being man enough to undress but not man enough when the time came for midnight confessions.
I almost fell in love with you.
that was before I jumped into arms that weren’t ready to catch me.
you said I was too much and as I look at you, you’re edges are sharper than mine.
and if you had asked, I would have searched the black market for another set of hands if it meant I would get to hold you.
and I am sorry that your cowardice didn’t let you see that.
but I should be disgusted with myself.
for forgetting everything I valued.
that I should never have to offer my body to a man who doesn’t deserve it as a peace offering.
that I am not something to be sold.
that I don’t come with pretty advertisements because there is things that are hard to love here and I am honest.
I am hard to love and I am not for everyone.
So I should have never slept in the same bed as you. I should have never let you hold me during sex if you weren’t going to hold me when I told you that you meant something to me.
so we’re both to blame.
and even at that, I cut you loose from the guilt and all the responsibility.
I am upset with myself.
you always knew what you were here for.
and I should have listened when you said you never cared enough to fight for anything.
kianamaiart
snowghoul
gummygunk
discoholicmusic
titsay
