~E~H~E~

Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.

Ladybug "I have bad luck in a way that makes me lucky and f***s with the fate of everyone around me, homeless white man aesthetic, trying this zen thing I'll tell y'all when it works, f*** that d*** carver, literally did not ask for this"

Tangerine "sophisticated fruit, great walk, man the attitude and suit on him, I love a man with an accent, an actual gentleman, oh no what a great loss, if lost pls return to lemon, rip though you deffo still looked good till your death, you were with us till the end in spirit"

Lemon "the fruit?, I don't bleed, Thomas the tank engine lead me so far, should've been more paranoid, unintentional death scene, shot everyone at least once, most chill, if lost pls return to tangerine, ignoring my mourning era raging by ramming a diesel over, will never look at a tangerine the same"

Kimura 'the father' Yuichi "I'm not drunk enough for this, homeless asian man, someone srsly shoot this girl, high cortisol throughout the movie, I'm surrounded by psychopaths (like you're normal 👀)"

Kimura 'the elder' Shigeru "late to the party but welcomed all the same, wise old asian man, cool backstory, let me tell you a story it's short I promise so anyways, proverbs none of these monkeys understand these are my allies somehow, ooh sword cane, save my idiot son and fulfill my revenge arc like 2 decades late"

The Prince "chuunibyou to the max, she has mild luck unfortunately offset by ladybugs bad/good luck, daddy issues so bad she involved a father that's not hers to commit her patricide, nobody invited this kid, trying to mc aura so bad, diesel"

Wolf "cool montage but that was on you for trying to kill ladybug, funny how he survived whoops, idiota, 8mins max you were mostly a prop body"

Hornet "you brought it all to yourself, take better care of your stolen snake pls, who the hell doesn't carry extra antidote, they should've done the there's two hornets twist what a shame"

Maria "should've been just a simple mission, you must've experienced such interesting times being ladybugs handler, does not know how to comfort this crying white man she's somehow in charge of"

White death "still crying over his wife, tried controlling fate but fate said hell nah (could be just ladybug tbh), where's carver?! I want carver! Don't call me dude"

Bonus: that train Karen not minding her own business, hope girl with the snack cart's okay, the boomslang that survived allat, the water bottle that witnessed all that and stole a scene, also Channing Tatum coming out of nowhere as a gay with questionable kinks