Annika Art

T. Desikachar says that yoga is the ability to direct the mind without distraction or disruption. Of course this idea seems radical in a day and age where society seems to direct our thoughts and actions and not much is left to the individual to ponder or take charge of. In a fast-moving world, what does it mean to ground into our own being and find a dual-stance of individuality and isolation while simultaneously tapping into the universal truth that is a oneness of all beings and ideas? Lastly, how can we find silence and a quiet mind in all of this disorder? 

In Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras an important idea is raised on the way in which we perceive things as human beings. Our perceptions cause so much pain, misunderstanding, and distraction in day-to-day life. We can all relate to the often incorrect conviction that we understand a situation correctly and the resulting consequences of acting on these false convictions. Or, maybe even more harmful is the situation in which we doubt our understanding, thinking that it is incorrect or not deep enough... in these situations, taking no action when we should and could have. 

The yoga sutra uses the term Avidya to describe this all too common mis-comprehension that befalls us. Avidya is used to encompass the accumulation of unconscious actions that have resulted from wrong perceptions from a lack of conscious behavior and mindfulness. So is this harm we are causing out of ignorance? And what is ignorance? Is the “innocence is bliss” mentality becoming a norm in our current society? It is by far much easier to walk about this earth without conscious awareness of the roots of our perceptions , or without questioning these lenses with which we see the world. 

Some of the most insidious ways in which Avidya is expressed are termed in the Sutras. Asmita refers to the ego and pushes us to think and say things like “I know that I am right” or “I am the best.” When our ego grows too large, we cannot properly see around it. Lack of this important sight leads to lack of understanding of the real truths that surround us. Raga refers to habits or desires that we act on everyday without questioning the direct need we have for their fulfillment. Perhaps one day I have a glass of wine after a stressful day and the next day, I crave the same glass of wine at the same time despite having a less stressful day. Of course, I go for the glass of wine, hence playing into Avidya by not questioning whether or not on this day, do I really need that glass of wine. These patterns and habits become entrenched in our daily lives and go unquestioned. Hence, “I want,” becomes “I need” while we never check in with ourselves to determine our real needs specific to that place and time. We can retaliate against this numbness by asking, “why am I doing this right now?” Dvesa is referred to in the sutras as excessive aversion or hatred. Often we express Dvesa when we decide we don't like someone or something without ever trying or experiencing them, I think of racism. Dvesa is also expressed when we have a bad experience, and decide we hate everything about it and will never try it again. Lets say I have a bad yoga class with a specific teacher and leave saying “I hate her, I hated that class, I will never come back.” But perhaps the teacher was having a bad day or maybe I was having a bad day so my energy did not mesh with the class. These aversions are therefore unfounded, not rooted in reality, and causing a lack of sight into the real truths of the matter. Lastly, abhinevasa translates to mean fear; often expressed as fear of death, We are uncertain, we have doubts about our positions in life or are afraid that people will judge us negatively. Like Dvesa, our expressions of abhinevasa are often not grounded in truth and are made without conscious understanding of the roots of our feelings. 

Avidya causes us a dissatisfaction with life as our true understanding of the world around us is masked by misperceptions. We do not weigh things carefully or make sound judgements and this causes pain to ourselves and to those around us. Desikachar says that we notice avidya more by its absence than by its presence. When we see something correctly there is a profound peace within us. 

Lastly, real truth is constantly changing. IN order to perceive the world correctly this means that we must also be open to change. We too are also changing and the way we see things one day, may be different the next. So again, in order to see the world correctly, we must also see our own selves correctly and be constantly mindful of the way we are thinking and why we are thinking what we think. 

2 months on the road and not a word has been written in the ever-waiting journal I had pinky-promised that I would visit everyday. I also planned on 7 am runs, 8 am swims, 9 am yoga... c’est la vie. 

In my defense, some children don’t begin to speak until much later in their development. Oftentimes, once they start, they have somehow mastered vocabularies beyond their years and out of their little mouths pours a steady stream of coherent sentences, words, and descriptive names. So here I am, the incubation period which gently nourished and grew my thoughts and words has come to a close and I am ready to share my experiences,  and new ideas about the world and about life. Perhaps some recipes too. 

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For most, leaving home feels to be just about the most unnatural thing that one could endeavor. Evolution has parced out the wise old monkeys who, once upon a time, stayed the eff home. No, Netflix was not their sole motive... rather banding together, they protected a territory, protected one another, and made babies like rabbits. Smart little rabbits who natural selection picked the very best of (aka the ones who also stayed home) and not very long after, along we came. You and me that is. 

Feeling that ancient tug at my gut to stay home, I packed my new Osprey Pack: my hammock, a few t-shirts and my running shoes, kissed my cat good-bye and prayed to my ancestors to understand. 

Telluride is an experience that no one could ever forget. Tucked into the San Juan Mountains, the town of Telluride boasts a population 0f 9,000 soul-searching, adventure-seeking, party folk and the vibes are electric and eccentric.

 Music, skiing, and hiking in the mountains are the focus of the small mountain town where everyone knows everyone and the faint-of-heart have been sifted out thanks to a harrowing mountain pass which provides the only entry into the town- when it is passable.

 Working for Telluride TV was a dream for me because on top of loving everything about this place, I was able to learn new skills in a field I am interested in: journalism. Truth be told, knowing this was my final FWT before graduating, I headed into this experience with low expectations—some dinky television station in the mountains—but lots of fun, I thought. That said, I was pleasantly surprised. Working in a new medium within the journalism sphere gave me a whole new angle from which to think about how news is prepared and shared with the public.

 Not only was I blessed with a patient teacher who worked with me to quickly get me up to speed on video editing, using one of the top video editing softwares: Final Cut Pro, I was also given lots of freedom to add my own touch to the station and what went on the server for viewers. Additionally, I learned how film for various shoots. This meant setting up camera gear, putting microphones on speakers, and learning to use the cameras to get nice, clean shots.

 I was able to attend local events, interview locals, and edit clips for shows. One thing that this work made me think a lot about was the difference between editing film vs. editing print. Having only worked in print previously, I quickly learned that the two are very different as we register things differently with our eyes (video) as compared with our minds (as we read.) What is relevant and important changes between these two mediums. For example, with television visual accompaniment is important, so carefully selecting what is shown with specific spoken lines will impact the extent to which the information being given is noticed, or remembered. In print, the reader can always backtrack a few lines, or even a few pages if they forget an idea but in film, repetition, and the right visuals are crucial to ensure that the correct message hits home. When filming, I began to understand what bits of information and accompanying images should be gathered beforehand so that all of the pieces of the puzzle would be present when I went to edit.

 Using Final Cut Pro to edit allows the user to upload many files, including footage from multiple angles. Then, working reductively, layers of footage which all give information about a given event but from different angles, can be cut away to leave different angles for various times during the shoot. I loved doing this work and thinking about what angle would be the most interesting or flashy for each moment of my videos.

Final week , lots of work!

My television show, organized, hosted, and (mostly) filmed, by yours truly, aired all week! This episode of Almost Live! featured the snow report that I had filmed and edited, a music event that I had filmed and edited, two guests which I picked to be on the show, and of course, me as the host!

This effort was sort of the grand finale to my time at Telluride TV and was a culmination of all of the skills that I had learned (filming, and editing) and social networking that I had done in the area. Being given this opportunity was really exciting as I was given a safe, but real, sneak-peek at all of the work that goes in to organizing a television show.

On my final week, we also worked with CNN to livestream news from a local correspondent, Robert Baer. Baer, as it turns out, has had an extremely interesting past, having been held hostage in Saudi Arabia in the 80s. We began talking in the studio and he gave me connections to both CNN and Vice which I can pursue on my own if I am interested in trying for a journalism/news job with either. For me, networking opportunities such as this are one of the best benefits of FWT.

I am excited to share my final Mountain Report, featuring my childhood friend Michael Kerr here.

Your anchor girl!

This week I prepared an entire show: Almost Live! for Telluride TV. On Tuesday, we filmed and I co-hosted the show with Colin Sullivan. This was another aspect of journalism that was new to me: reporting with a camera in my face. I have worked with radio and print and in both these instances, mistakes are easier to make. Even though there is an editing process, another element is added to this type of formatting, namely, physical composure and presence. I can imagine it is almost like acting- engaging the audience with facial expressions and body language. 

 For the rest of the week I did my best to finish organizing and cataloguing archived shows in a way that allows them to be accessible and understandable when someone is preparing to block out and schedule shows for the day ahead. This process for me meant ripping old discs to a desktop using a program called Handbrake, transferring the ripped file to another program to convert frame rate and size to a format that is legible for our server: cablecast, uploading the files to the server, and creating a spreadsheet with categories, times and descriptions of each show.

This week I was given more responsibility as I was asked to begin planning and preparing Telluride TV’s next “Almost Live” episode which is recorded every Tuesday. This meant preparing and writing a script, seeking out and connecting with potential guests to be interviewed on the show, and editing clips from events around town to include throughout the show.

 Additionally, I took on the challenge of designing, filming and editing this week’s “Mountain Report.” The mountain report is a way of sharing the snow conditions, open trails, and weather for locals and tourists who are planning their week of skiing. I spent all day Saturday filming fun shots on the mountain of skiers and boarders and interviewed my friend Michael, who is a Telluride Ski instructor and was able to give me a good overview of the status of the mountain.

 I’m really excited to be producing an entire show that I will be able to show people as entirely my work. On top of it all, I will be co-hosting the show with one of our usual hosts, Collin Sullivan. Hoping it all runs smoothly.

 As I finish up my last few weeks at Telluride TV, Im really happy to not only have learned new skills, but most of all, to have made new contacts which will help me propel into the professional world when I graduate in the spring.

 Thanks for reading, as always, take a look at this week’s photos to see shots from in the studio, on the mountain, and at a local hot spring in the next town over, Rico.

Check out my Mountain Report: 

Santa Fe kept me longer than expected. 

After a night of blacking out and scraping my body up I made it to an ER to find that I had come down with some sort of stomach flu. However, with the help of some local angels, this sudden sickness turned out to be more of a blessing than a curse. I posted an instagram photo of me driving away from Santa Fe, sporting my new chunky turquoise jewelry and a cowgirl hat and captioned it: “I left a shadow in Santa Fe.” 

This shadow, a whirlwind of emotions that needed to be let loose, was released by a blue-eyed, feral looking man I met at the farmer’s market after leaving the ER. After cooking me a meal he cleaned all of my wounds from the night before, gave me some tinctures, sent me on a short walk in the sun with his dogs, let me cry, and then sent me home. Im sure this sounds crazy... but I think that some sort of universal energy proposed this circumstance, and since then, I feel amazing. What happens in Santa Fe... 

Back in Telluride after missing 2 days at work, I immediately set my mind to finishing the editing tasks I had left partially done the week prior. I also began the big task that will carry me through my last weeks here of figuring out an organizational system that the station can use to plan and program shows every day. My method so far is to create “bundles” of different shows, promos, news stories etc., that can fit into different time blocks as needed. These bundles can be used in a crunch when someone is scheduling that day’s showings. 

Jumping into the next week, Im excited to anchor for Telluride TV and to man the camera for some really cool events that are coming to town!

Editing!

This week was a challenge for me! Learning how to use the video editing software, Pro Tools was both fun and frustrating. I have never considered learning how to edit work in this way (being someone who usually works in print) however, the editing process is still very similar: narrow down important id bits, make it concise, present a clear message. 

My first editing task was to work on the footage that we had captured from The Motet, the concert we attended the previous week. I loved working in layers as I pieced together different shots from the four cameras that we had running throughout the event. Here is the final piece of work that I created: watch. The song is called “Supernova” by The Motet.

 This week I also took my new editing skills and applied them to a different genre: an interview with a local high school celebrity. The interview consisted of a discussion with the student about her recent nationally recognized running award and the work she does restoring local vegetation on the valley floor in Telluride. This time I only had two cameras to work with and the challenge of toggling appropriately between two speakers as they took turns asking and answering questions.

 On Friday I took the day off to drive the 6 hours to Santa Fe, NM. The drive was absolutely stunning and it was nice to be in a warmer climate and admire the chunky turquoise necklaces and bracelets that SF is famous for! Good food, good views, and lots of sun are sending me good vibes for the week ahead!

Snow!

 This week Telluride finally got enough snow to make the mountain ski-worthy. Each day, I woke up super early to get into the studio by 7:30 so that I could hit the slopes by 2pm for a few joyous runs.

 One of Telluride TV’s programs works with local school students as part of a journalism class. This week we had 4th graders in on two days and high schoolers in on a third to learn about the equipment used for filming and to film their very own practiced reports. Students were encouraged to take on the role of “director,” “camera-man,” and “reporter.” With only two of us in the studio on these days, I organized the students and helped them film while my co-worker sat in the back showing those interested how to work the monitors. This experience was great fun and it was fantastic watching the students get excited about their journalism projects being broadcasted in a new medium: film.

 As part of my work week I was also asked to attend two music events. On Friday night, I helped broadcast The Floozies at the Sheridan Opera House and on Saturday night I manned—womaned— a camera for The Motet, a funk band at Club Red in Mountain Village. These really fun energetic nights made some of the work that I had put in learning all of the technical stuff behind filming, worthwhile. Meanwhile, I continued to work on my long-term assignment of sorting through archives and choosing clips that would be fun and relevant to air on television. I have learned how to use the software program “Cablecast” to upload files for airing and organize and schedule other clips for immediate broadcast.

 On Saturday, I took a long hike up Mt. Hawn to work off a hangover danced to and filmed funky music at Club Red, and skied all day Sunday, stopping at Gorrono’s off of Lift Four to sit in the sun and sip a Bloody Mary. I finished the weekend off at Orvis Hot Springs in Ridgeway. As I am writing this, I am thoroughly exhausted, ready for bed, and excited for the week to come!

Its good to be back in Telluride!

 The 14k foot mountains looming majestically over the small mountain town are enough to incite a sort-of giddy inspiration in just about anyone, ranging from the oil-rich Texas billionaires who arrive here in their porches to the long-haired ski-bums who are happy enough to just make it by as long as they can hit the mountain every day.

 Walking into the Telluride TV studio on Monday, I was greeted warmly by Peter Kenworthy and his assistant, Tim. Peter told me that our relationship would be symbiotic, they need a lot of help right now in rebranding their channel and programs, and I would get to experience journalism and the media through a new medium:  television.

 The small community channel works to highlight local goings-on, and who’s-who specials, but also often works with larger networks like CNN, MSNBC, and (much to Kenworthy’s dismay) sometimes even FOX News to stream events and news. Basically, the channel covers everything from the local high school’s plays to the winter Olympics.

 This week, I spent hours going through old archives from festivals and events in the past, pouring over interviews with Sean Penn, Nicholas Cage, Jon Krakauer and more for the stations archive screenings. I attended shoots, including at the local museum, a local bookstore, and Telluride TV’s second studio up in Mountain Village. I began learning how to use some of the cameras and equipment that the team uses as well as how to navigate the editing software that I will be using to help put pieces together. Tim also began preparing me to be an anchor on next week’s show “Almost Live.” I’m really exciting to be experiencing the world of television from so many different angles.

“March-a-Lago.” On the evening of February 4, Donald Trump, ensconced in his Palm Beach Estate may have heard the calls of 4,000 protesters in their energy-filled march on Mar-a-Lago.

Obama said—Nothing can stand in the way of millions of people calling for change. That meant one thing back in 2008 when he was running for president. Today, under Trump’s rule, it means something entirely different. In ways that we have not seen before, millions are turning to the streets, joining forces, and rejecting the hate that has taken over our country.

The final days of my field work term passed in a flurry of madness as I worked quickly to edit final articles and get them posted to the blog. As I wrote my final pieces I felt some peace. When I was accepted to write for the Club, I had just found out that Donald Trump was to be my reality for the next four—possibly eight years. My broken heart needed an outlet to pour my upset and energy into.

For me, it is often a struggle to take a hard look at the energy that is welled up in my body and send it back into the world in a productive and positive way. I think this demon is shared by many. By being a working gear in the mechanics of the Sierra Club for 7 weeks I was able to pour my energy into my words and my stories. I was able to pick and choose topics that would catch me and wrap me in excitement.

My writing skills HAVE improved. But what is more important is that I learned to be flexible with my writing and shape it toward a style that is being asked of me. I think that is important for a writer who may not always be at their dream job. 

My dad used to always joke-- “Just give the people what they want.” I think this idea doesn't need to be demoralizing... life is always about keeping the balance of one foot in the real world, conforming to outsider’s wishes impressed upon us, and one foot in our own creative, personal sphere. The scale is always more tilted one way or the other based upon the current situation. 

So, I gave my editor what he wanted. Commas before the ‘and’ when I’m listing items, leaving out the ‘th’ or ‘nd’ in dates: ‘November 4′ not ‘November 4th.’ And so on. I think it’s a real challenge to not just follow your own natural style but to learn the style of someone else and still write well and still have your unique voice shine through. 

The experience was healing for me. My coworkers became a safety net; a reminder that work can be done to make positive change and that it starts at a grassroots level… with just people.

I am grateful for the contacts I made around the country with people who are doing really cool things to save the planet and humanity. Super-humans. Darryl in New Orleans is bringing solar to the Lower 9th Ward. Rita in Memphis is collecting funds to weatherize old homes and informing sustenance fishers on the harms of the polluted Mississippi. Rhondalyn in Kentucky is preaching peace, stewardship of the environment, and love to all humans in her church in Owensboro… the list goes on.

It gives me hope to know that in their own ways, people are caring for their corner of the planet.

I learned about which battles are worth fighting and which are pointless and will tire me out and send me home in frustrated tears. Writing is so important in the fight that we are just entering with Trump’s inauguration. To inform—to be informed—to express thoughts and feelings, this is important.  

The other day, in a phone conversation with Reverend Rhondalyn Randolph, a new member of the Sierra Club’s Pennyrile Group and president of the Owensboro NAACP Branch  she shared a poem with me that I had not heard in a long while:

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me

The poem was written to expose the cowardice of German intellectuals who watched silently as the Nazis targeted and purged group after group of innocent individuals during the Holocaust. Randolph connects these themes to Trump’s vision of America in which some people fit into the “Make America Great Again,” puzzle, and some do not.

After the work that I have done with Sierra Club, and the many things I have learned, I am one step closer to not being the quiet girl who stands by. The energy of my workplace and the wisdom of the people I met and wrote about has fueled the fire that will keep me politically active and vigilant as I head back to snowy Vermont.

I am most excited to share my work with friends and to dig back into my studies at Bennington College with a new focus. It’s amazing to me how many different spheres of our education seem to fit together like a puzzle. I’m ready to infuse that puzzle with my experiences at the Sierra Club.

I’m also now, more than ever fascinated with the intersection of the environment and politics—I think my interest in social psychology also plays a part here as we watch our country process and react to our new reality and subsequent consequences.

Saying goodbye to the hip, downtown Oakland office was sad. I will miss the creative vibes, collaboration, and constant frenzied energy that the space emits.  

What amazes me is that my articles were read! Not just by the couple thousand readers that purchase the Keene Sentinel (for which I write back home in Keene). Or the three bored students at Bennington who scroll through Literary Bennington one hungover Sunday. The Sierra Club!

No to Pruitt, he’ll just sue it read a wide-eyed, 6-year-old’s sign at a rally outside of Senator Collin’s office in Portland, Maine on Wednesday. The pun plays on former Oklahoma secretary of state, now-nominee for head of the Environmental Protection Agency, Scott Pruitt’s history of years spent suing the very agency he would now oversee.

 Yikes.

 I decided to write about the rally, of which this young boy was a participant, because of the unique way in which organizers chose to theme the event.

 To entice local media sources to cover the rally, protestors donned referee shirts and carried nerf footballs to portray a fun and well-timed football/Superbowl/Patriots theme. The rally was thrown together last minute. One person dug old striped referee shirts out of dusty basement boxes from a Halloween past, another, some whistles left over from their days as a soccer coach, and others gave paint and markers and recycled cardboard for the making of creative, funky signs—an outstanding illustration of community collaboration in action.

 I had to write about it. As Trump continues his blitzkrieg approach to decision-making, law-changing, and policy-implementation that is enough to give any concerned citizen whiplash, rallies such as this prevent “protest-fatigue” with their fun energy.

 Rally participants’ creatively-designed football-themed chants included:

 “Senator Collins, block that Pick! We do NOT want Scott Pruitt!”

  “Collins, time to up your game, NO on Pruitt, yes for Maine!”

 and,

 “Be a true Patriot, just say no to Scott Pruitt!”

 The “referees” also gave out penalties:

 “The ruling on the field is 'Unnecessary Roughness to the Planet' by Scott Pruitt.  He should be ejected by Maine Senator Susan Collins.” 

 “The ruling on the field is 'Delay of Game' for Senator Susan Collins for not yet coming out against Scott Pruitt for EPA.”

 Senator Collins is currently receiving national attention and pressure. As a moderate republican, she is seen by many as a potential swing vote against some of Trump’s controversial cabinet picks. Portland ralliers report some hope in swaying her decision in their favor.

 I also wrote an article on environmental justice work done by Sierra Leaders in both Memphis and New Orleans. Although these two cities are separated by about 400 miles and a handful of small towns, the destinations share two qualities: their location along the Mississippi River and their status as major hot spots for environmental activism and justice. I interviewed EJ leader Daryll Malek-Wiley who is doing work in the Lower 9th Ward—a heavily impacted Orleans neighborhood post-Hurricane Katrina and Rita Harris who is doing work in Memphis to prevent proposed nuclear waste plants and waste burial plans beneath African-American dominant communities. Read the article here.

 I attended Shabbat dinner on Friday night and stuffed my face with so much food. It was the host, Adir’s birthday so the feast was great. On Saturday a friend and I treated ourselves to sushi in Berkeley and on Sunday I was dragged mercilessly into the city for the Superbowl. I watched about an hour before I got tired of the testosterone-filled cramped bar, and left.

Whoops. It was a busy week last week and I am not posting until it is a little bit late. Forgive me! 

Last week I covered the women’s marches that popped up around the country the day after inauguration. See my article. I felt powerful marching alongside 100,000 women and supporters in San Francisco and came home with a little hope in my heart....

But then Monday rolled around and Trump began to do things like: attack Obamacare, give KXL and DAPL the go ahead, ban international abortion counseling--essentially a global gag rule, pull out of TPP, announce changes to NAFTA, spark tensions with China, slash taxes for big businesses, freeze federal government hiring... the list goes on. 

Every day my Sierra Club email blows up with hundreds of emails carrying updates about our country, our environment, and Trump’s new policies that will have disastrous effects on climate change and humans. My job is to sort out what I find interesting, make phone calls, and write stories that include Sierra Club’s role in combatting the damage being done. I am grateful to have this position right now. I have never been more informed on politics and environmental issues and I now realize how crucial it is to remain updated. 

As global citizens in this day and age, it is our responsibility to be watch dogs, protectors and human barriers (if necessary) in order to protect those who are suffering or are vulnerable in the face of the misogyny, xenophobia, racism, sexism, white supremacy, and homophobia that Trump and his cohorts are producing. Knowing the enemy is the first step to taking this task on productively. 

Over the weekend I flew to Tucson, Arizona to meet Alexander at Saguaro National Park. We hiked every day and camped one night up in the mountains. The temperature dropped from about 75 degrees to 35 degrees and there was snow around us, but it was beautiful and necessary for me in that moment to be escaping the city, the politics, and be in the fresh, crisp, quiet of mother nature. 

Mother nature, too, is a nasty woman. She is strong and is doing her best to fight back as we continue to vote against her and pour pollutants into the air. I made sure to tell her thank you for her resilience. 

Back to the city on Monday, I was hit with the news about the riots at airports over Trump’s evil, hateful travel bans. My flights were delayed... but I wasn't angry. Good, let them be delayed, I thought, it means that people are out there caring and fighting for what is right, and fighting to protect the innocent people that are facing a wall of hate from a once-welcoming country. 

I’m writing with tears in my eyes as Donald Trump in an all-white-male-occupied room scratches his dick and signs away my body’s rights. I feel exposed, like these men are touching me in places I don’t want to be touched… “and I didn't know devils could be resurrected but I feel Hitler in these streets. A mustache traded for a toupee. Nazis renamed the Cabinet Electoral Conversion Therapy, the new gas chambers shaming the gay out of America, turning rainbows into suicide.”

 My heart is heavy as millions of “nasty women,” beautiful, strong, courageous women’s voices are ignored. Global Gag Rule – gagging my voice and my rights and my choice, today, one day after the 44th anniversary of Roe v. Wade.

 This week, blood will stain my sheets and my undies. I am a nasty woman… “We don't actually choose if and when to have our periods. Believe me if we could some of us would. We do not like throwing away our favorite pairs of underpants. Tell me, why are pads and tampons still taxed when Viagra and Rogaine are not? Is your erection really more than protecting the sacred messy part of my womanhood? Is the bloodstain on my jeans more embarrassing than the thinning of your hair?”

 I am a nasty woman. To me this means that I will fight against the racism, fraud, conflict of interest, homophobia, sexual assault, transphobia, white supremacy, misogyny, ignorance, and white privilege that is rearing its ugly, nastier-than-me-even head in our country. “Your daughter being your favorite sex symbol, like your wet dreams infused with your own genes. Yeah, I'm a nasty woman — a loud, vulgar, proud woman.”

 To watch the thousands of pro-life marchers, take up space in my streets…it ran shivers down my spine and brought cold tears to my eyes. Women, children…

 Men.

 GET YOUR ROSARIES OUT OF MY OVERIES. My body my choice. Tell the raped victim—mother to a baby that is her uncle’s that it is a sin to not have this child. Tell the young girl that she cannot have a future, that her grades will suffer in school because she must have a child she can neither afford nor care for.

 To the man who yells at me as I run by: how does this power feel to you? I am too scared to respond, too angry to not. Your heavy body and stronger arms could easily over-power mine if I say the wrong thing. You know this. So, I will wear loose jogging pants and hide my breasts and sweat in all these layers to hide my beauty from you. “I have yet to see in my country. I can't see. My eyes are too busy praying to my feet hoping you don't mistake eye contact for wanting physical contact. Half my life I have been zipping up my smile hoping you don't think I want to unzip your jeans…”

 Mr. Trump, you threaten my existence… and the existence of my sisters… of minorities and excuse me if I slip into Holocaust rhetoric but… blonde hair, blue eyes, fake tits is your America. But dark skin, blood-soaked clits, and queer lovers is not.

 Mr. Trump, my pussy IS NOT for grabbing and the walls of my uterus are stronger than any wall you can build.

 “Our pussies are for our pleasure. They are for birthing new generations of filthy, vulgar, nasty, proud, Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Sikh, you name it, nasty women.”

  Mr. Trump, you scare me and that is the truth. You make me shake with fear.

 But I know what my America looks like. And I will work, every day to infuse this America with TRUTH, INCLUSION,

 STRENGTH, RESISTANCE, RESPECT,

 LOVE.

(Please see Nina Donovan’s Nasty Woman poem -- from which I pulled quotes to add to this piece. I connect strongly with her energy and wanted to share) 

_______

Ok, Bennington College Field Work Term Office, I know you need me to tell me about how my week has been. As you can tell, I am so distracted. 

This week I worked on posting two more Sierra Club ICO Leader profiles to The Planet Blog http://www.sierraclub.org/planet . I began work on a story that will cover the crucial environmental justice work being done in both New Orleans (post-Katrina) and Memphis, Tennessee under the looming presence of Nuclear Waste Incinerators and threatened sustainence-source: the Mississippi River- where many individuals from low-socioeconomic backgrounds are fishing. The big fear is that with Trump’s new picks for cabinet and especially the EPA, a lot of work done towards helping individuals navigate a threatened environment will be undone. 

On Friday, The Sierra Club provide booze and glitter and people gathered to make signs for the Women’s March in Oakland and San Francisco. Both marches were widely attended by Sierrans. 

I have begun to remember some of the Sierra Club’s style guide for writing and Tom, my supervisor is not as inclined to red pen the entirety of the articles that I put on his desk for editing. Im proud of my work and happy to be in a place like this after such a devastating and traumatizing election. I feel hope when I am surrounded my hard workers-- un-relentless workers that I know will keep plugging along through thick and thin fighting for good for the environment and for humans. 

This week I covered the protests that popped up in all 50 states to call on senators to reject Donald Trump’s dangerous picks for cabinet. These include billionaires, corporate businesspeople, and others with various conflicts of interest. Among them are former Exxon CEO Rex Tillerson, nominee for Secretary of State; former Oklahoma secretary of state Scott Pruitt, nominee for head of the Environmental Protection Agency, who has spent years suing the very agency he would oversee; and former Texas governor Rick Perry, nominee for Secretary of Energy, who once advocated for the elimination of the Department of Energy and who sat on the construction board for the Dakota Access Pipeline. YIKES. 

I also wrote a profile on Vicky Hoover, who, at age 80 has worn through many pairs of hiking boots since 1967 when she took her first outdoor hiking trip with the Sierra Club. Vicky was instrumental in the passage of the proposed California Desert Protection Act. The act defined 69 distinct areas as wilderness and boosted the status of Death Valley and Joshua Tree National Monuments to national parks and made the East Mojave into Mojave National Preserve. 

After the November 8 presidential election, Vicky tells me that even though she thinks of herself as retired, “no one can really retire in a time like this.” She has set in motion both proactive and defensive strategies to mitigate the effects of the new political situation on the environment. Currently, she is focusing on the reauthorization of the Land and Conservation Fund, a program that was established in 1965 to provide funds and matching grants to federal, state and local governments for the acquisition of land and water, and easements on land and water. The fund is mostly focused towards recreation and the protection of national parks, protected forest and wildlife areas. Vicky believes that this bill, because of its very broad bipartisan support, could be one of very few positive causes we can promote effectively now.

I attended the first all staff meeting for the Sierra Club and was pleasantly surprised to be surrounded by like-minded people in one large conference room-- and connected by Skype to even more Sierra Club chapters in DC, New York, etc. The morning’s discussion focused on the first 100 days after the election and what work should be done first to begin to combat the storm to come with Trump’s new seat in the oval office. My mood was boosted as I felt the presence of hundreds of Sierrans mourning for the country BUT ALSO kicking into gear and preparing to stand up and fight. I will be proud to march at the San Francisco women’s rally post-inauguration this Saturday-- and hope you all will find a way to participate from wherever you are. (Yes, Im speaking to you, my few readers).  

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Over the weekend I took  a breathtaking run in the Redwood Regional Park just 15 minutes away in Montclair. The fresh air, birds, and sunlight hitting the pines and eucalyptus trees dazzled my senses with refreshing and revitalizing sights, sounds, and smells. I cried a little and laughed a little, filled suddenly with strong emotions from the beauty around me. I returned to the grime of International Boulevard: the shady characters loitering outside of “AU Grillz Jewelers,” the local crack dealer who stands on the corner in front of the Palestinian-owned liquor store, Kat n’ Cat Nails with the metal bars in front of the dusty windows, and the hair salon with the slowly dying (how is it possible?) succulents-- but i had a smile on my face, at peace with the city smells and traffic sounds. 

On Martin Luther King Jr. Day, I had the day off. I took the SF/Daly City BART into Powell Street in San Francisco and then an Uber car across the Golden Gate Bridge and along the coastline, through Marin County, and into Muir Woods and Muir Beach. I took the Dias Ridge Trail up into the mountains and looked back at the ocean below. Six miles later I found myself along the roadside with no cell service. I stuck my thumb out and the third car that passed, a young couple originally from New York, picked me up. We shared East Coast stories for the entire 40 minute ride back to the city and they dropped me off at a bus that would take me back to Powell Street Bart, and then home. What a long day. But I began to feel good about the isolating feeling of adventuring alone. Its good to experience things and not share them-- but instead ruminate on them in your own head and sometimes laugh out loud. Being alone can be a good thing and I am just beginning to learn that. 

Thai food and wine with a friend from work finished off my busy weekend. I fell asleep to the sound of the homeless man who sleeps across the street under the bus stop muttering at passersby: “whattta fug yoo want wif me bish? huh? yoooouu so coo. you coo? YOU THINK YOU COOL BISH? Hey happy Martin Luther King Day. Gawd bless yuh.” 

Per usual-- check out my photos from the week at FWT3 link above. 

Peace, 

My first three days at the Sierra Club imposed a whirlwind of information, databases, email lists and account passwords all for me to familiarize and memorize. 

My first assignment was to cover Long Island’s second-largest-ever rally for offshore wind which took place in Uniondale New York in December. Governor Andrew Cuomo and LIPA are set to vote in favor of the  39 gigawatt, 15-turbine project that would provide power to an estimated 2.5 million homes in the New York City metropolitan area and Long Island. As pressure builds for Cuomo to meet his goal of providing 50 percent of the state’s energy from renewables by 2030, the time appears to be ripe for New York’s governor to commit to a large-scale, long-term wind program in the State of the State address. 

Sierra Club covered this story as the rally was organized by Shay O’Reilly, New York City’s organizing representative of the Sierra Club’s Beyond Coal Campaign  Lisa Dix who is a Senior New York Representative for the Beyond Coal Campaign. I was able to interview both Sierra Club staffers for the article which will be posted to Sierra Club’s The Planet Blog. Here is my first article: https://www.sierraclub.org/planet/2017/01/long-island-rally-for-offshore-wind-power-success

Additionally, I began work on interviewing and writing profiles on Sierra Club Inspiring Connections Outdoors (ICO) leaders from different chapters all over the United States. This project is especially interesting to me as the Inspiring Connections Outdoors program is geared towards at-risk and inner city youth and families. One of the program’s primary goals is to “promote appreciation and protection of the natural environment through outdoor adventures and environmental education.” http://content.sierraclub.org/outings/ico. 

Over the weekend I celebrated my 21st birthday at The Uptown Nightclub, Beeryland, and Legionnaire. I walked across the 2 mile long Golden Gate Bridge and back. I took BART into Union Square and went to farmer’s markets in Jack London Square and Temescal. Life is good. 

Check out my photos in my FWT3 photo section. 

 Hasta la pasta!

From Simsbury, CT to San Francisco, CA. 

This year’s field work term travel experience can be spun into a tale of dirty rest areas in Indiana , off-highway runs in Wyoming, and a New Years Eve spent with strangers in their lovely home in Reno. My boyfriend, Alexander and I set out in his Subaru Outback with empty bladders and plenty of snacks. We worked it out that if we averaged roughly 560 miles per day we could reach the West Coast in 5 days. 

And we did.... on New Years Day we shouldered what was meant to be an easy 3.5 hour drive in 8 hours through ski traffic and a blizzard from Tahoe, through the Donner Pass, and into California. The grass was suddenly bright green and we shifted from grueling, dark “Lore” podcasts to sunny day tunes by Bob Dylan, Rodriguez and Sean Hayes. As the evening crawled on we listened to Sylvan Esso and Alt-J. 

My street, International Boulevard marks the entrance into the “sketchy” area around the beautiful Lake Merritt. As the Palestinian man from behind the counter at the “Liquor and Sandwich” shop across the street says... “Don't get caught on the wrong side of your door too late in the night in this area.” 

Well shit. 

20 minutes by BART into downtown San Francisco brought us to Union Square, the waterfront, and a plethora of restaurants, bars, and shops. “What can I do that would make this evening romantic for you?” Alexander asked as a homeless man peed against a tree behind him. He seemed caught up in the dazzling lights of the city and the majestic looming shape of the Golden Gate Bridge. “Bring me home and order me take out,” I said with a yawn. “It’s past my bedtime.” 

The car bed he built into his Subaru was sweet. He used an old bed frame and fit it to the back of his car. He strung twinkle lights from the ceiling with thumb tacks and we called it home for a few days. Two days ago he took off for his winter adventure in Tucson, AZ and my housemate, Phoebe and I were left to our own devices. We furiously listened to all of the best girly tunes and have worked our way through the “Liquor and Sandwich” shop’s “employee favorites” list of $10 red wines. 

I started work on Wednesday the 4th at the Sierra Club and cannot wait to share with you my first 3 days of experiences.