Anne Welt

I was there. I can truly understand Will’s feelings.

The point is, I confessed that I’m in love with my best friend — and she told me no. She’s a girl.

It wasn’t a simple “no.” It was more like, “I love you like a sister. (We’re friends, Will.”)

I’m Byler, of course — what else could I be?

But I understand reality. I’ve been stuck in it for years.

We stayed friends. I wasn’t ready to lose her.

And you know what’s the most painful thing in this situation?

I confessed only because I felt something from her. I thought she had feelings too — those glances, words, touches.

I wish I was special, so fcking special.

That’s why I don’t believe in Byler’s happy ending.

Because I’ve had to be confronted with reality.

My “Mike” didn’t say yes. And her “in-love” signs weren’t signs at all — just expressions of friendship, maybe even sisterhood.

I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to be with her.

And now we’re both pretending like nothing happened.

But I think that when I told her, I broke something between us.

And I think our boy Will would never do that to Mike.

He’s too selfless, caring too much about others.

I was more arrogant — I thought I could be the one for my friend.

When i was 60 kg i thought i was. Throughout childhood i was always thinking that i was a big girl. I was sitting on different diets, reading all the blogs about losing weight.

Now iam 80 kg, i have back pain and big belly, which i never had before. I don’t know but now it’s so hard to lose weight. I love good food, i love tea with snacks.

But i think im ready to start my journey again. And i want to talk about it here

I want to be healthier, stronger, and fuck off this patriarchy’s standarts, more beautiful.

translate:

сейчас я чувствую себя толстой и вообщем-то таковой и являюсь

mom: you aren't living, you're just existing.