Annecdote

Friend: Harry is so fucking stupid like what is wrong with him?

Me: How DaRE YoU INSulT HARRY FUCKING STYLES HE IS MADE OF GOLD DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE dO Ya WAnt a MICRophONE SHoveD IN YOUr buTTHOLE?

Friend: P-potter, I mean Harry Potter.

Me: Oh.

Remus: Sirius got me 10 bars of chocolate and a knit jumper

James: Are you fucking serious?

Remus: This question goes both ways. Yes, I am fucking Sirius. No, I am not serious about the chocolate.

Sirius:*about to implode*

James:

Remus:

James:

Remus:

James: I fucking knew he wouldn't have bought you 10 chocolate bars, he only got me a ruddy snitch chocolate ball last year*rambles on while walking out of the dorm*

Remus: I came out to him at least 10 times today and he still doesn't understand

James: Remus, what are you doing under the blankets with Sirius?

Remus: *frantically covers himself with the blanket,and eyes widen*

Fuck. Uhm, ugh, Sirius had a little problem with his um you-know-where. Since I was his closest friend, he wanted me to check and see if he was okay.

James: And both your lips are swollen?

Sirius: *Hides used condom* Oh Lily gave us a chapstick to try on and we, um, we both had allergic reactions to it. *ruddy well knows that they both have been caught having sex*

James: *stares at them suspiciously and then expression changes* Gosh darn it! Sirius, I thought I was your best friend! I thought Lily loved me! No one trusts me anymore! *walks out of room*

Remus: How fucking oblivious is he?

James: So we are gonna do it. Remus, you okay with the plan?

Remus: *bites lip to think and rests hand on doorframe* Yes. But what comes next?

Sirius: Me.

Remus:

Sirius:

James:

Peter:

Lily:

Dumbledore:

Godric Gryffindor: