'til three-thousand and five

Not going to lie, he makes me feel like I’m in high school again and that’s not in a negative connotation.

I haven’t felt like this about a guy in a while, though, and it frightens me. I’m not ready to get hurt again if that’s going to be the case.

Maybe this one is different? I’d like to hope so. He is pretty amazing.

It’s crazy to think that for so many years I was head over hills for someone. A lot of times I would do anything for that person because I felt so strongly about them. As I’ve grown older and have finally seen a bigger picture of the world, I have nothing but gratitude for that experience I’ve now learned from. It took many years, but I finally realize my OWN self worth.

In other words, I haven’t felt strongly about someone in a very long time. I’m more focused on myself; self improvement, taking care of my family, and enjoying my life. I’m much more patient now and I appreciate the things I have as opposed to what I don’t have.

No doubt, though, did I feel a little bit of that old feeling tonight when I got that “I miss u” message. But from the broad perspective, I miss that person too, just not to that obsessive manner that I once had. It’s safe to say that I’ve matured enough to have that different “I miss you” feeling. One more sincere to the friendship we’ve always had.

What do I do? What should I do? Who can I tell?

Okay, maybe not to that degree, but I can’t stand being here anymore. I’m so ready to leave. I just worry about my mom. I’m afraid of leaving her with this oblivious pessimist. If I leave, I don’t know what could happen with them. It scares me, but at the same time, he needs to see how much I’ve been trying. And I just want to be on my own finally.

I’ve honestly never hated a job so much before, but I’m glad this happened. It’s pushing me to get myself right back into a classroom to finish my degree. This job isn’t worth giving up my sanity for, especially when I get the blame for things completely out of my control. It’s not worth the money anymore.

trying to impressive other people and started doing what I wanted to do that made me a happier person.