All Sorts Of Things That Interest Me

Self love is not always easy. It can be challenging and not fun at the time, but your future self will thank you!

Giving up on something that’s not right for you anymore can be healthy and positive. While it’s important not to give up on what matters, we’re totally allowed to let go of things that don’t. 🙏💛

1. Set aside some time to think through why you feel you’re not good enough, or don’t deserve to be loved. Then actively counter each of those reasons. This is a really crucial step for you to take.

2. Make a list of at least 5 of your positive traits and strengths. Each day, add at least 2 more items to your list.

3. Commit to only saying positive and affirming things about yourself – your appearance, your personality, your abilities, and so on.

4. Each day, tell your body how much you appreciate it.

5. Hold your head high, smile, look people in the eye, and always speak slowly, and with confidence.

6. Have the courage to list and face some of the worst mistakes you’ve made, or some of the challenges you’ve found hard to overcome. Then, gently admit to yourself that you are not perfect. In fact, none of us is perfect, and we all start from different places in life. What has been hard for you may have been easy for someone else. Choose to not be so hard on yourself.

7. Go through your closet and experiment with your clothes until you find something that you feel really good in. Choose to wear that – and to buy other outfits that make you feel good about yourself. Get rid of clothes that lower your self-confidence or self-esteem.

8. Learn to listen to your body and mind, and treat what they are saying with kindness and respect. If you are tired, rest. If you are feeling emotionally drained, then withdraw and do something that will help to build you up.

9. Do something nice for yourself each day. Go for a jog, get your hair or nails done …. Whatever makes you feel good about yourself.

Not much of a preamble here so I’ll basically launch right into it. This is an argument I’ve seen OVER and OVER again, in which in the “Nightmares and Daydreams” episode of Avatar, Mai suggesting that they order servants around shows that “Mai truly does not know Zuko and that he wouldn’t be comforted by ordering servants around.” And this therefore proves that Mai doesn’t fundamentally understand Zuko as a person - so there relationship was superficial and lacked emotional intimacy - and so on and so forth.

I honestly think there isn’t much analysis here. Let’s once again take a look at the CANON material to debunk this claim - similar to how I did it with the whole seashells argument.

There is no doubt that Zuko is experiencing moral and emotional turmoil when he returns to the fire nation. Yes he was exposed to the daily lives of those who are not fire nation royalty. Yes he sees just how much the fire nation impacted their colonies. Yes he’s on his journey to understand why he fundamentally disagrees with his dad.

But let’s not forget that while experiencing this turmoil - he is still shown to enjoy the perks and comforts of being a prince.

Example 1:

Zuko looks at the towels for a moment and takes one. He is seen wiping his forehead before walking out of the room. The two servants bow behind him. - The Official Transcript

Then on the way to Mai’s house - he is offered a ride on the palanquin. At first he shows hesitation, but then he smiles, basking in the attention of being a fire nation prince, and takes the palanquin ride to Mai’s house despite it being 10 steps away - which Mai sees.

Keep in mind that he didn’t have to take the palanquin. No one forced him. He refused offers from the servants for a hot massage. Yet there are some perks and pleasures that come with being royalty - and Zuko enjoys them and finds comfort in them.

Case in point: when Zuko happily obliged to Mai’s request for fruit tarts by asking the servants to make them - which once again Mai sees first hand.

Zuko Tell me, if you could have anything you want right now, what would it be?

Mai Hm ... A big fancy fruit tart, with rose petals on top.

Zuko You know, being a prince and all, I might just be able to make that happen.

Mai [Chuckles.] That would be impressive.

Zuko [To the servants.] Do you think you could find a fresh fruit tart for the lady, with rose petals on top?

Servant Excellent choice, sir.

Once again - Mai is not privy to the extent of the emotional or moral turmoil that Zuko is undergoing. She knows that he is unhappy, confused, and angry at himself when he’s back at the fire nation - but she doesn’t know why. But she is shown to understand what he needs. She is not an Iroh - who can say exactly what he needs to hear or guide him on the right path. She is a teenage girl from another broken home who was never taught what love truly means. She was taught to restrain herself and her emotions. But when Zuko needs comfort the most - she provides it for him by attesting that despite all the things she doesn’t care for - she cares for him. She becomes emotionally vulnerable in front of Azula to comfort Zuko amidst his difficult times. And yes, In this example on The Beach - Zuko is shown to be comforted and cared for her by her words.

Zuko [Close-up.] Because I'm confused. Because I'm not sure I know the difference between right and wrong anymore.

Azula You're pathetic.

Mai [View from behind Zuko.] I know one thing I care about. [Walks up to Zuko. Frontal view.] I care about you. [They kiss.]

Look at what Azula says right before. Mai knows that Zuko suffered constant and endless harassment and abuse from his sister and father. From the creators themselves:

“She’s known Zuko her whole life. She knows his life has been intense” - Bryan and Mike, The Beach Commentary

Yet shes the only one from his old life, other than Iroh, that shows unwavering and unconditional support to him. Like @thethiefandtheairbender said, “Mai gives Zuko a reason to love the home that spurned him.”

So back to the Nightmares and Daydreams episode. Mai’s immediate thought is to cheer Zuko up with something that gave him comfort five minutes before.

When that doesn’t work, we see Mai’s unemotional facade break down. She knows that this is something he has to figure out on his own. Her face shows pure empathy, that he must be going through something very troubling. But she doesn’t force him to stay with her. She gives him space to come to terms with his own emotions. She doesn’t stick by him or force him to cheer up after she sees her methods DIDNT work. She doesn’t get frustrated. She feels empathy for him.

And then antis claim that Mai bringing up the whole war meeting was a way to make light of Zuko’s trauma or that she didn’t want him to ruin their happy mood. Yet they conveniently forget that Mai waited outside for the entire duration of the war meeting for Zuko - and immediately asks him how it went - ensuring that things didn’t transpire the way it did at the last war meeting. For them, it’s impossible to see that what Mai said was a matter of true concern for Zuko’s safety. But her actions prove otherwise.

Zuko chooses to spend the night at Mai’s house. He finds comfort in her company. He’s no stranger to shutting down or shutting people out when he’s experiencing emotional angst or turmoil. He’s done it countless times to Iroh in Ba Sing Se. Instead of being anxious by himself, he chooses to stay with Mai. Because she provides him comfort - no matter how small. And he celebrates the small victories with her too. He turns to Mai immediately when he hears the news that he’s invited to the meeting. They both share a smile - and Mai once again proves the unconditional support she has for the boy who has been constantly spurned by the people that should love him.

And to provide an even more salient counter argument to “Mai shutting down Zuko when he’s trying to explain his “life story to her” - Mai listens to Zuko unwaveringly while he explains how during the meeting, he was the perfect fire nation prince but he wasn’t himself. She doesn’t cut him off out of boredom. She doesn’t shut down his emotions or tells him to feel a way he shouldn’t. After the Beach episode, she learns to listen to him - proving her character development. She’s engaged, she’s listening. She is once again - supporting Zuko throughout his emotional turmoil.

I will never understand the argument that Zuko’s relationship with Mai represents a regression because he wasn’t being himself when he was in the fire nation. Let’s get a couple of things straight. Zuko had to return to the fire nation to truly confirm for himself that he was making the right decision. But the fire nation will always be Zuko’s home. That is why he is coronated as the fire lord at the end. Throughout season 3, Mai experiences Zuko’s good, bad, and ugly. He never once put up a facade around her. She experienced everything - the emotional turmoil, the parts where he pretended to be the perfect prince, the part where he truly loved spending time with her. And not once did she stop loving him - the only thing she did was hold him accountable when he was acting like an ass. Mai was there for Zuko when no one else from his old life was. And if their relationship was a regression - then why did the creators have Mai stand up against Azula and everything she knew her whole life - for Zuko and his mission? That argument would make sense if there was no episode called The Boiling Rock. But rather, the creators did a brilliant job showing Mai and Zuko loving each other BEFORE his redemption and AFTER his redemption. That Love isn’t conditional based on someone’s morality or redeemable actions. That people who have experienced trauma and turbulent upbringings deserve to love and be loved at the end of the day.

1. Not having goals. You can’t reach your goals if you don’t know what they are.

2. Choosing goals that don’t inspire you. You won’t be able to keep on going if the prize at the end doesn’t really matter to you.

3. Expecting immediate results. Anything worthwhile is a battle and a struggle. It takes times and effort to bring about a change.

4. Lack of support. We all need someone to believe in us and to be our cheerleader when we start to feel discouraged.

5. Not believing in yourself. As Henry Ford so wisely said: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.”

6. Feeling bored. Most success involves a lot of humdrum work, and repeatedly doing the same kind of stuff. But each day brings you closer to achieving what you want.

7. Inaction and laziness. You have to work the plan before the plan will work … and dreams are only dream till you turn your thoughts to actions. Also, it’s crucially important that you manage your time well, and you don’t get distracted or procrastinate.

8. Being around negative people. There are plenty of people who only see the flaws, and whose eyes are on the problems, and the absence of solutions. If you hang out with them, you will lose your zest and passion, and your positive outlook will soon be undermined.

9. Comparing yourself to others. We each are individuals, and we start from different places; we all face different challenges, and work at different rates. Remember “it’s your journey”. Be patient with yourself.

In the next part of my meta I wanted to talk about how Mai and Zuko are the epitome of yin and yang. But before that, I wanted to clarify what the definition of yin and yang means in the language and culture it was written in, not the Westernized, Hollywood portrayal. And who better to answer this than the brilliant @lj-writes, who so beautifully summarized it as follows:

“Yin, as you may know, is the principle of dark (NOT evil), quiet, shadows, the feminine. It’s going with the flow, the valley the river flows down to, the ground that takes the light and the rain water and makes flowers bloom. Yang is the principle of light (NOT good), sun, sky, the masculine. It’s the volcanic explosion, the burst of a geyser, the force that goes skyward against gravity. It’s the mountain that reaches for the heavens. the sky that gives the light and the rain to the earth.”

“Energy flows from the yang and into the yin, and the creative silence of the yin draws out of its womb-dark depths new things--new life, new energy, new thoughts--to start the cycle again. They are night and day, fire and water, sky and earth. They lie entwined like lovers but hold the space of all creation between them, and in their embrace all things are born, live, and die.”

Yin and Yang might be physically and symbolically represented by the moon and the sun, dark and light, fire and water, good and evil - but it does not represent or characterize the philosophical, emotional, and interpersonal meaning of yin and yang. Like LJ Writes says, confining the definition of yin and Yang only to gender and element is “sexist and heteronormative, and literalizes what were meant to be symbolic representations”. So given that the idea of Yin and Yang on a much broader level represents opposite forces that are actually interconnected and counterbalancing, let’s understand what this means in the context of who people are (their personalities, ideologies, and the way interact with the world) instead of who they are (characteristics they are born with like gender and element).

@lj-writes does a brilliant job of dissecting yin and Yang into personality traits and how they perfectly align to the canonical relationships (Mai and Zuko, Katara and Aang). I have just a little bit more to add. When applied to people, Yin and Yang are associated with specific physical and psychological characteristics. From a scientific study by Chae, Cho, and Lee in The Integrative Medicine Journal:

“The individuals with Yang personality (high SPQ total score) are shown to be extroverted, sociable, flexible, carefree, irritable and emotional, and those with Yin personality (low SPQ total score) are introverted, inhibited, consistent, thoughtful, calm and stable with previous studies.”

Applying Yin and Yang to personality types is a long established scientific practice, similar to Myers Briggs. Looking at this, I realllly wonder who fits the archetype the most in Avatar. You have the highly extroverted, irritable, emotional, and reactive Zuko:

And you have the introverted, calm, rational, and deliberate Mai:

Now I’ve seen plentttyyy of people argue that this means that Mai and Zuko are fundamentally incompatible, that they don’t understand each other, and that they each wish that the other person wasn’t different. That can’t be more false.

Mai and Zuko appreciate each other for their core personalities. Zuko loves the “gloomy girl that sighs a lot.” Mai loves the man that is driven by emotion and action, the one that saves her from Azula and is one of the integral reasons why she finally stands up to her. But they also acknowledge that there are parts that they need to work on and grow. This is the epitome of yin and yang: we all have a various levels of Both within ourselves. The yin in one person draws out the yang in the other. The yang in one person draws out the yin in the other. They are counterbalanced forces that drive and feed off of each other. Zuko draws out the Yang in Mai when he says “I like it when you express yourself”.

Mai, expressing herself:

And how Mai draws out the Yin in Zuko by holding Zuko accountable when he reacts disproportionately:

And that however justified, one’s trauma does not define them and the way they should interact with the world, especially when they’re being highly volatile and emotionally turbulent.

The Beach episode is only 30 minutes long. But it is the most emotionally enriching episode I’ve ever seen in a childrens tv show.

Again, a large aspect of this has been covered in this post.

Now let’s understand Yin and Yang through ideology and morality. Yin and Yang once again represents two counterbalancing forces that draw each other and balance each other out in the way a person interacts with the world (who they fundamentally are). And this is epitomized with Mai’s selfcenteredness and Zuko’s selflessness.

I’m the last person to call Mai self centered, but just hear me out. Throughout the comics and the cartoon, Mai serves to protect herself and the ones closest to her. The ones she deems important in her life. She serves in the best interests of herself and her loved ones. She protects and saves only those that she deems important in her life. She would risk her own life to protect them, but only them.

Case in point: when she protects herself by being subservient to Azula (again only when Azula’s there. Mai wouldn’t avoid the sludge if Azula was in her presence).

But she sacrifices her own life to protect Zuko.

Saves Tomtom from her dad when she deemed her brother was in danger: in the cartoon she knew Azula put her to the test and complied so she and her brother would be in tact by the end of Azula’s little game.

Saves Zuko from her dad and his cronies when an assassination plan was placed on him.

Protects her dad from Zuko because she thinks that’s the only way to ensure Tomtom’s safety. (People think she directly endangered Zuko’s life by doing this - which is preposterous because any time there is a DIRECT, IMMINENT threat to Zuko’s life she’s right fucking there to protect him). I literally saw someone say she helped her dad assassinate Zuko - like do you not see her fighting her dad’s groupies TO SAVE ZUKO?!?!

And ultimately protects Zuko and his family by turning in her father when she suspects him of kidnapping Kiyi.

Zuko on the other hand, is largely driven by selflessness. He calls out and acts upon injustice even at the cost of protecting himself and the ones he cares about. He agonizes about how he can protect as many lives as possible, how to act in the best interest of the fire nation and its citizens, and is driven by fulfilling a greater purpose even if it comes at the cost of protecting his loved ones and himself.

He narratively sacrifices a happy life with Mai, the one thing he cared about in the fire nation, to join the Avatar. He inadvertently hurts her feelings by doing so.

He stands up to his own father, despite the risks entailed with that, to fulfill the greater good in joining the Avatar and challenging the Fire nations imperialism - even if it means incurring a scar.

He hurts Katara and fights Aang when he deems them a threat to the fire nation citizens - he will put his personal feelings and relationships aside for the greater good. He still has good intentions, however.

When thinking about opposing forces balancing out - Mai’s selfcenteredness and Zuko’s selflessness are exactly what they need to ensure harmony.

If you pair two selfless people in a relationship, then you see that they will sacrifice themselves and give and give until there is nothing left of themselves - all for the purpose of fulfilling the lives of almost everyone around them. When Zuko acts as a firelord and serves as the first line of defense if anyone tries to harm his people, it comes at the cost of taking care of himself and jeapordizing personal relationships for the greater good.

On the other hand, when Mai acts out of her own best interests, she’s not growing as an individual. She’s not equipped to understand what needs to be done for the greater good, people outside of her immediate circle that need care and protection. That’s why two self centered people cannot thrive in a relationship. But let’s see how Mai’s Yin and Zuko’s yang counteract and counterbalance each other again.

As seen in the comics, Mai wants Zuko to take care of himself and protect himself despite all the arduous duties of being a fire lord.

She enlists the Kyoshi warriors to protect him physically and provide emotional support when she’s unable to do it for himself - and ultimately leaves him when he decides to console in the most dangerous person in the entire world and isn’t willing to let her or anyone else know (Suki had to literally spy on him to get that information from him). She can’t help him if he doesn’t want to be helped.

Zuko helps Mai in seeing a world beyond her own microcosm. She sacrificed her life to save Zuko - but she also saved Zuko’s friends too, who she eventually meets and befriends. She saves Zuko’s mission. She is aware of this too. If the argument is that she only saves Zuko because she’s attracted to him, that undermines the narrative importance of Sokka, Suki, and Hakoda also being on the tram. It undermines the creators deliberate choice to include her in the Gaang’s happy ending scene.

She betrays Azula to save Zuko, not for some bigger moral purpose. There’s no doubt about it. But she did it because she loved Zuko and trusted him and believed him. Her saving Zuko allowed her to gain a different perspective and understanding of the war. You see her clearly verbally and nonverbally rejecting the indoctrination of the fire nation here - also the entire Rebound comic is great evidence but I can only include so many photos lol.

And before you come at me with the shit bag of the villainization she faces because of the comics, (I saw something along the veins of how Zuko should have arrested her for treason)I have a long post coming up that addresses how Ukano emotionally abused and manipulated Mai into acting on his behalf, despite her blatant disagreement with his ideals and wanting to protect Zuko.

But you know what’s the most important? Mai performs a selfless act of heroic sacrifice for someone outside of herself, her immediate family, or Zuko, when she protects and saves Aang here. Someone who she previously traveled the entire world to hunt and harm. An example of the self centered showing her selflessness:

There’s no doubt that Zuko is shown to have achieved great work life balance in the Legend of Korra. Izumi is literally the epitome of someone who balances self-centered news with selflessness when she refuses to let her people engage in another war.

I know Mai and Zuko have a lot to work on. They’ve both done some pretty unsavorable things to each other. I acknowledge that. But I also acknowledge the fact that they’re both dynamic, growing, and willing to change and grow for each other. I do not consider Mai to be a perfect, innocent princess that can do no harm. But I recognize how much she has grown along with Zuko and that their relationship is so much more than disambiguated conversations failing to consider their character arcs and relationship trajectory.

I’ve seen many claim that in Zuko’s flashbacks we see Mai have a crush on Zuko, but that feeling wasn’t shown to be reciprocated, thereby emphasizing that their relationship came out of nowhere and was a late stage addition by the creators. But there are several details that hint otherwise, the most prominent one being that Mai was mentioned in Zuko’s flashbacks, was associated with happy memories with his mother, and was important enough to him to be an integral aspect of his childhood. And also, Zuko blushing back when talking about knocking an apple off of a head, while practicing his knife skills in front of Azula.

And of course when Azula mentions how Zuko and Mai have had childhood crushes on each other in the Going Home Again comic:

Speaking about the Going Home Again comic, Zuko explicitly mentions that “he missed seeing this side of Mai” - in reference to her carefree, outgoing emotions. Zuko’s banishment, Mai’s isolation from those her own age, and her repressive household have caused her to become a shell of what she once was. But she will always fondly remember the times she used to throw mud in Zuko’s face.

Now let’s talk about the Legacy of the Fire Nation book, which is surprisingly cited as “anti-Maiko” “pro Zutara” material as some users on the app. (As a separate aside, Iroh absolutely understands the powerful friendship between Zuko and Katara, and the other Gaang inserts can be interpreted as equally romantic (Was that all you were, or were you something more - something Iroh said about Sokka and Zuko)).

Also keep in mind the author Joshua Prett stated that he wasn’t allowed to introduce any new plot resolutions, which is why Izumi and Mai are mostly omitted save for this one golden piece of information.

I’ve seen many try and use this excerpt as hard evidence that Iroh absolutely detested the idea of mai and zuko. But the thing is, Iroh is explicitly referencing his and Zuko’s journey involving Ba Sing Se and the search for the Avatar, which is why he mentions the desert, Zuko having trouble sleeping, and finally, his relationship with Mai.

Although it’s a small mention, it’s an important one. It shows that throughout his exile, Zuko was thinking about Mai. So much so that he confided in Iroh about it.

Ive seen some try and make the argument that “living through something” means an explicit negative connotation. But let’s objectively analyze this. When Zuko feels something, he feels it deeply. So much so that the people around him are also enveloped in those feelings, like we saw in The Beach. Zuko missing and agonizing over Mai, even when she’s not there, and so much so that Iroh lives through his feelings, shows that she’s always been on his mind. Living through something means vicariously experiencing the other persons thoughts and emotions.

My personal, not so head canon: When Iroh suggests Zuko go on a date with Jin to experience being a normal teenager and shake him from his pessimism, it’s quite in line with canon to interpret this as him wanting to stop pining over Mai. Of course, that doesn’t work mainly because of Zuko’s guilt and hesitation (he will never be a normal teenager, so why the pretense) but also because Zuko isn’t over Mai. I mean we saw how he acted when Mai broke up with him and dated Kei Lo :)

Couple this with the fact that in the uncut script of the Avatar the Last Airbender cartoon, Mai gave Zuko a heart shaped rock for him to hold onto during his banishment. (Cr. Minireklamo)

But perhaps the most amazing part is when Mai is shown to be enjoying tea and pai sho with the rest of the Gaang members. The Gaang is an undeniable, essential part of Zuko’s life. He chose to share that part with the love of his life. And mai, despite being reserved and reluctant to enjoy things most times, is an active participant in this intimate part of Zuko’s life. She’s engaging with his friends. She doesn’t scoff or turn away. Zuko’s friends become her friends. She is so important to Zuko that he chooses to share this happy, comfortable moment with her. They might be from different backgrounds, opposite sides of the war, but they all love Zuko. Also Mai and Aang are besties by the way, and Aang (Zuko’s best friend and most important ally, and the most important part of his redemption and reckoning) canonically describes Mai as Zuko’s soulmate.

“I’m happiest of all for Zuko. He is the new firelord. And it seems he found a real soulmate in Mai. She’s so much prettier now that she smiles.”

Being a fan of Mai and Maiko means you are at a distinct disadvantage - Mai is not one of the main members of the Gaang and therefore has 1/8th of the screen time of everyone else. She’s not subject to the same emotional, groundbreaking journeys that the rest of the Gaang embark on with Zuko. Very little is shown of her childhood and upbringing, so the audience is left to reconcile with what we are given in canon. While the show is limited, the Avatar universe expands a great deal on the budding relationship between two childhood best friends, lovers, and soulmates. It is up to the reader individually to determine how much they want to recognize in their interpretations - but it does not change that in the canonical universe of Avatar the Last Airbender, Mai and Zuko were destined to be together and forever. PS: Seeing as fans of other ships pick up what they want to from these in universe materials as insurmountable evidence for their ship, I want to see more Maiko fans appreciate the nuggets of information we have from them.

Obi-Wan, during most of the fight, isn't in the defensive. This is the Master of Soresu, the most defensive lightsaber form you can specialize in. But in the fight with Darth Vader, unlike during his duel with Anakin Skywalker on Mustafar, Obi-Wan is advancing. Even in the beginning, even before he was buried beneath the stones. Obi-Wan is having the upper hand, even if it's not that obvious. He is determined, strong-willed, he knows what he has to do. "I will do what I must" - defeat Darth Vader (not Anakin, to parallel Mustafar). He has to end this. But while he is 100% in tune with his skills, his purpose as a Jedi, ("Your strength has returned"), there is still a component left that he hasn't adressed fully, completely: Anakin Skywalker. The grief, the pain, the regrets.

And thus, when they battle through the Force, Darth Vader bests him. Because the Force relies on being absolutely in-tune with one's emotions, also. And Obi-Wan, at that moment, is still not - and this "weakness" is his love for Anakin Skywalker.

"Your strength has returned. But the weakness still remains."

When they clash lightsabers again after that, it is Obi-Wan who is now on the defensive, for the first time really, during their fight. Suddenly, he is losing. Because he still has not let go of Anakin Skywalker.

Darth Vader says: Love is the weakness. Compassion is the weakness. "And that is why you will always lose."

And in that pivotal moment, when he is buried beneath the stone, when he is barely managing to not be crushed completely, when he is tormented with memories of Anakin, with all this unspeakable agony, the regrets of failure, and torment of what has happened, what has been lost... it is love that saves him. The love for Anakin Skywalker's children. The bond to them, and the hope they give him. In particular, the one to Leia. And this, in turn, is also his love for Anakin Skywalker himself.

The weight of those stones, a metaphor for the crushing torment of what Anakin and him have done to each other. And he literally frees himself from it. He begins to unburden himself. He flings hundreds of tonnes of stone away. He catches up to Vader. He uses some of Anakin's own moves to attack him. He overpowers and force-pushes Darth Vader, the Chosen One, the most powerful force-user known in history, away after 15 seconds of fighting.

And then... the stone-lifting scene. Throwing the weight of all those stones, the metaphor for all this grief and torment, back at Darth Vader. And then Obi-Wan goes on to absolutely obliterate Darth Vader. He cuts his mask. And then, it isn't Darth Vader. It's Anakin Skywalker that looks back at him.

And then, Obi-Wan... says sorry. He apologizes. Not to Vader. He apologizes to Anakin. He cries. His heart is breaking. It may even be one last attempt to call upon Anakin Skywalker, his best friend, to save him. And then, once he realises, that it is not possible - that Darth Vader has destroyed him - he says goodbye. He leaves.

1. Recognise that it’s a feeling, and our moods go up and down. Shrug your shoulders, grit your teeth and choose to make it through the day. Nothing’s really wrong – and there is nothing wrong with you. It’s just the way you’re feeling, and our feelings usually change.

2. Don’t be hard and condemn yourself. Don’t beat yourself up for feeling miserable and blah, or for feeling apathetic and low on energy. Be patient, understanding and gentle with yourself. You’re no worse than other people as we ALL have some bad days

3. Do something rather that nothing. Do a few mindless tasks so you don’t just waste the day. You’re likely to feel better once you’ve got those out the way. They’re usually the kind of things you never want to do!

4. Only do as much as you have to. It’s going to take all your strength just to make it through the day. Preserve your energy. Leave some things for another day.

5. Be extra nice to yourself. Do the kinds of things that help to brighten up your day. For example, go out for a coffee, or have a bubble bath, turn up your favourite music or call a bunch of friends. Do any of the things you know will help to boost your mood.

Here’s the thing of it: when the prequels came out, an older, largely male audience wanted to see Darth Vader as evil, masculine, the embodiment of power, etc. They didn’t want to see Anakin Skywalker as a vulnerable, emotional kid who was corrupted by outside influences and struggling with his feelings. The story George wanted to tell (and the story that Hayden pulled off so spectacularly) was just something that viewership was never going to like. They didn’t want the villain of their childhoods, the emblem of masculinity, to be a real human with feelings. They were never going to like a movie about Anakin as a multidimensional person—one who cried, missed his mother, simped after a strong-willed woman, and struggled with his internal life. No matter the actor, they were never going to be willing to contend with that story. They wanted Darth Vader to be scary and manly. That’s it.