Angel of Asclepius

"I cannot say who I would be without commands to follow. I could be no one at all."

["Rahma seems to like it."]

"I... am afraid."

["...I shouldn't have brought up all your dead friends. I'm really sorry about that."]

"Of course there are. Most killers are choosy with the ones they want to kill, versus the ones they have no interest in killing. I should not be surprised you are no different."

["And yet, I don't do it, not because of obedience, but because I've studied enough to realize that hurting people won't actually make me feel better in the long run."]

"Then I would be immoral," he decided on. "If I began to lie, or to indulge the perversions of justice that have spread across mankind, then what is stopping me from doing more? Say this self-serving life endemic to chaos does 'feel good'. What is stopping me from all of a sudden deciding that killing feels good, as so many in this world of chaos believe?"

Noir sighed. ["Even for myself...there's only a select few I wish to see dead. Not the whole world."]

"All those I have seen, all who have fallen to selfish vice, have been unwilling to return to what is right. Were I to wallow in immorality... Why would I not become the same?"

["What if you give the other way of life a try and it works? Ever consider that?"]

"His verdict has not yet been reached. If I were to slip into the mannerisms of this world, if I were to become vain and selfish as you seem to believe I should, what... What should I do when this world is ultimately found wanting?"

["...Then it gives you stronger belief, because you tested out your theory and proved it through experience. Unless you're worried that the other side is correct and you might be wrong? That you'll end up contaminated somehow by testing out how the other side lives?"]

"Perhaps that is what He meant in telling me 'All things are permitted'..."

["Ah, maybe you aren't so obedient after all. If he told you all things are permitted and here you are, still clinging to old beliefs instead of following new instructions."]

"As you have illustrated, I am not a soldier." That was the very reason Kazuya would not kill him, after all. "But I do not think so highly of myself, either. If I am not needed, I will be destroyed. I do not seek out vain things."

["Don't you think sheer blind obedience means that somebody isn't really choosing to follow somebody else? If it's all autopilot, then the belief isn't real."]

"That, too, is a test. Whether those of us who remain will turn to chaos, or whether we will continue in our loyalty. He does not need soldiers who will disobey." Then, after a beat, he added, "He does not need soldiers who cannot survive."

["Wouldn't that mean he doesn't need you? He was willing to let you get slaughtered, knowing you literally cannot fight. Just saying, in my world, trainers who act like that are rightfully lambasted for it."] Noir braced herself for a "oh, but he knew Kazuya wouldn't kill me" excuse.

"The King did not come riding in on chariots of iron, and our army was equipped to handle such tactics, regardless. Although it was not so the first time." Huff. "He would not have allowed the war to continue as long as it had without good reason. I trust in Him."

Oh, that felt like a low blow. Well, can't take it back now.

"I believe He is giving this world of chaos the ultimate test; If chaos can indeed be righteous, then the King should surely pass, but the result is yet unknown." Then, he chews on his thoughts a moment. "In short, I believe He knew what would occur. I believe He chose defeat in service of a greater future."

["Iiiiinteresting. Because I have been reading your book and...isn't he weak to iron? You sure you aren't just coping right now? Salty that he lost a fight?"]