beth

all my works ~

TRENT ALEXANDER-ARNOLD

↳ crawly companion

summary ~ an unwelcome guest makes itself comfortable as you get ready for the day

↳ wants vs needs

summary ~ a breakup leads to sleepless nights and texts from your ex

↳ suffocating presence

summary ~ your boyfriends negligence leaves you no choice but to roam aimlessly around the streets

↳ i’ve never seen you before

summary~ your best friend getting distracted by her crush leads you to meeting the most beautiful man ever

↳ nothing else matters

summary~ sharing a friend group with your ex is not the most practical thing ever

JUDE BELLINGHAM

↳ we are or we aren’t

summary ~ sometimes, you have to be true to yourself even if that means breaking two hearts in the process

↳ i’ve been waiting for you

summary ~ your sisters poor time keeping abilities lead you to seeing your childhood crush once again

↳ all he could ever want

summary ~ a usual night with you and your boyfriend

↳ buying your love

summary ~ ignoring your ex is a lot harder than you could have imagined

↳ at home chef

summary ~ getting home is the best part of your boyfriends day

↳ forgotten paradise (series)

summary ~ Two hearts once intertwined find one another during a family holiday but will the ever-growing distance that they set continue to grow or will one arise to the challenge that is keeping them together?

↳ the small things

CARS DROVE BY their headlights shining through the sheer curtains despite their severe lack of effort. Each left a pattern of shadows upon the ground, line tracing around one another before eventually giving in and conjoining, the distance the vehicle had put between itself and your apartment meaning it soon became a sheer memory.

The hum of the fan in the background was peaceful as the frigid air that circulated throughout the room became a welcome feeling. His arm being thrown over the closest side of your body was what gave you the biggest dose of serenity, however. You could feel his soft, rhythmic breathing collapsing over your shoulder with each exhale.

And yet, comfort was yet to find you. The pillow beneath your head was firm and unrelenting when it came to giving into the weight of your head. The quilt refused to allow any of the warmth upwards, meaning that your shoulders were practically icicles, ready to snap and fall at the first chance. But the rest of your body felt as though someone had placed it upon a roaring fire whilst in a copper pot.

Both could not take the full blame, however. The heat that radiated from your own boyfriend’s body was surely comparable to that of a radiator. It was a fact that was enjoyable during the cooler months but you both had done the inevitable of forgetting to turn the heating off in time, leaving your house to boil from the inside outwards.

You decided upon adjusting your position, using the hand beneath the pillow to adjust its positioning before moving your body forwards a mere inch. Though an arm soon pulled you back towards your original position, it’s firmness far more than beforehand.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO you, happy birthday dear Maya."

Birthdays had alwaysbeen a momentous occasion throughout the longevity of your group’s friendship. Out of the 365 days that built up the full year, each of you always made sure to make the special day centred around that singular important someone.

No matter what had happened throughout the days leading up to it, on those days, nothing else mattered.

Or at least that was what had spiralled around your mind. It had created its own staircase over the several hours you had recited that to yourself, creating space for the next set of the recurring words.

It had claimed more control than it could deal with, the size of boots it had picked being far too large. You had kept yourself so busy that you were in and out of consciousness, the chair you had strategically placed yourself behind being the only thing keeping you standing at that moment in time.

Maya blew out the candles with a smile bigger than you believed she could fit on her face. The Mamma Mia themed cake that she had non-stop talked about for the majority of last year that continued until only two weeks ago, sat placed in front of her.

Your two other friends had done the honour of brining it out towards her, shielding the candles with their hands to keep the wind from doing what it had threatened to that whole night.

“Thank you, thank you!” She squealed loudly, looking to everyone crowded around her with

such gratefulness that it was a high possibility she could explode.

His hand landed on your lower back whilst he adjusted himself from his seated position to your left so he could properly look at you.

The action caught your attention quicker than it would usually as it did the same for the man sat next to the birthday girl. His eyes held a certain weight to them, locking onto you with such a strong unreadable emotion that it soaked its venom into every inch of your innocent flesh.

“You alright?” Ben asked you, trying everything he could so he could look you directly in the eye. By the time he had officially managed to, his body sat at such an unnatural position it would be no surprise if he would end up texting you to complain about the back pain he had ‘randomly’ picked up.

“Me? Yes, yeah. Awesome.” Your voice was an approximate three octaves higher than you would usually reach, the need to get away from the male species reaching heights that could challenge Mount Everest.

He smiled sweetly at your response, “That’s good.”

Mustering a smile to respond with, you began to excuse yourself from around the table. It only took creating the ruse that was grabbing something from your car for people to accept your absence for a matter of minutes.

You inhaled the icy air that ran its fingertips across the usual soggy atmosphere the second you exited the house. The air that had once surrounded you was becoming heavy, slowly creating a dangerously shallow ability to breathe. It forced you to suffer its wrath the harshest, the desperate gasps that escaped from you making that painfully evident.

Your lips felt moments away from becoming numb despite the very few seconds you had spend in the outdoors.

The ground was slightly damp beneath your harsh steps. The dew of impending snow that the news had warned everyone about weakening everything around. Even as you subjected the innocent spikes of grass to the vicious murder spree that was your heels, they laid limp, crushing and bleeding under the spears.

It was a deep sapphire that painted the sky in that moment, echoing with the sounds of blackbirds singing and everyone’s shouts of celebration. The bird’s voices resounding through the freezing air, coating every exhale with icicles that pierced deep into your uncovered skin.

Swinging open your car door, you leant in to grab the singular object you had left the comfort of your friends’ house for. A jacket.

Why would you need it whilst being inside? You couldn’t give an acceptable answer.

“Hey.” A voice snuck up from behind you, sending you flying upwards to hit your head on the hardest part of your car. “Sorry! I was really trying not to scare you.”

You placed your hand atop of the injury site, flinching it away the second your fingers hovered ever so slightly near it, the pain being far too harsh at that moment. “Ben. You really can’t be doing that.”

His hands lingered around his grimaced face. The guilt was evident however every small thing that led up to this specific interaction had left your patience thinner than average.

“I was really hoping to catch you alone tonight. I need to talk to you about something.” Ben took a step closer towards you.

“I-I really have to get back inside. Maybe another time?”

Ben was quick to refuse the alternative you had kindly given, another step being taken towards you. The car stood its ground firmly, leaving only another two steps before an uncomfortable amount of distance between the two of you was yet to be cleared.

He took a deep breath, using up any extra air on which you could rely. “I like someone, and I was thinking that you could help me out with that.”

Closing your eyes momentarily, you regained the composure that you could grasp at.

“Oh! Who? Do I know them?” You coated your voice with fawned interest.

“Very well.”

The pure fluffiness of the clouds that hung confidently in the sky was evidence towards why people compared it to candy floss. They looked edible, comfortable even. A necessary escape from the direction the conversation was heading in.

“Is it Maya? You know what, I’ve always thought you would be cute together.” Throwing the jacket over your shoulders to lessen the blow of his upcoming words, you diverted your gaze elsewhere.

Flowers surrounded the building you had just exited, no protection offered for when severe weather decided to make its name for itself. They sat susceptible to whatever the universe threw at them.

“No, you know here a lot better than that.” Another dreaded step.

“Olivia? She’s actually-.” An emergency plan began forming in your head, the large red button that had appeared in the back of your mind when you had broken up with Trent had been pressed.

“Do I know her?”

His voice was more angelic than you had ever heard before, the shadow his figure casted against the man in front of you causing a small lack in vision.

Ben turned around to meet him face to face, taking away your access to see what was happening on his overly expressive face. His shoulders seemed to tense, his back straightening as though he was becoming prey.

“I’m just going to go. I’ll see you inside y/n?” His voice was frigid as the words that he spoke seemed to crumble upon meeting with the harsh gaze that welcomed them once they exited their safehouse. You felt a soft pang of guilt ripple throughout your body as you stood there, unable to do anything but send him a sorrowful smile as he made his long-awaited exit.

Trent was soon filling his empty space, leaving you with no chance to escape from him in the same way. A soft flurry of smoke felt over his lips. The suit he was wearing was warm, brandished with deep cologne that seemed to climb up your figure, lacking any effort in doing so. The few buttons that were originally sculpted to cover the first part of his chest were left undone, showing off the golden chain he had placed around his neck.

“I thought that you might be out here.” His response rolled from his lips as if it were a part of the trickling wind passing by.

Nodding your head, you didn’t bother to speak your response. Though the situation you had previously found yourself in was bad enough, this surpassed it very quickly. One thing was certain for today, the world was not spinning in your favour.

The world fell quiet again, immersing you in a void of silence that was so strong it began to shake your body. With Trent standing next you, his broad figure looking so lost amongst the mixture of trees going on behind him, it was becoming increasingly hard to think.

“I’ve been wanting to speak to you as well. But he can’t seem to leave your side.”

A scoff fell past your lips, the wind quick to snatch it from in front of you and run away with it.

“I can’t do this today.” You responded in a hardly audible whisper, using it as an excuse to excuse yourself yet again. Trent was quick to react to your movements, his fingertips offering you the warmth you had been craving. The world stopped without delay; you await a reasonable response, but nothing appeared.

His knuckles wrapped so tightly it caused a bleed of a ghastly white to flush across them. Trent’s lip parted, preparing themselves to say something that would stop you from leaving him but the only thing that slipped past them was a loud sigh.

“I was beginning to think the two of you were together.” He finally admitted, his shoulders slumping in a makeshift relief.

You rolled your eyes, taking a millimetre of a step back just to feel as though you had put any form of distance between the two of you, “That’s none of your business. Not anymore.”

The lingering space between you disappeared within seconds, his head leaning in to seal the deal.

“I wish it still was.” Trent’s words were fast to process in her mind, his lips practically kissing your ear every time he spoke from closeness, the warmth that exited with every letter crawling down you.

Exhaling a deep breath, your eyes brought themselves upwards to stare at the sky. His presence was enough to start a civil war within you. The two sides argued relentlessly as to whether you should let him back in. Both failed the simple task that was giving a reasonable argument for their actions which consequently left you in a vulnerable situation.

Every muscle in your body came together in full cooperation to lift your arms up to move him away from you and even then, they fell flat against his hardened chest. It was such a small action, one that to most would mean nothing. But to him, to him it gave him every ounce of permission that he was asking for.

His lips were gentle across your collarbone, a stepping stone to getting you right where he would want you. You could feel him smirk against your skin as your head lulled to the side to make sure he had full access.

“Okay, I would find it much better if we were to talk.” Seemingly coming to your senses, you watched as he looked up towards you with the most convincing puppy eyes you had ever caught sight of.

Trent didn’t move whilst he watched you, a playful glint catching onto the moonlight, “What if I don’t want to talk anymore?”

THE SMELL OF the range of breakfasts wafted through your noise, gripping at whatever they could just to linger that little bit longer. Recently emptied plates littered the same table that you all had sat on just last night, each having a slight form of guilt when it came to the delicious scents.

Your family had made it downstairs before you had. The dangerously low amount of sleep you had gotten the night before being a strong reminder of the way in which he haunted your innocent mind.

They hit you each time you closed your eyes in the form an of a quick blink, the cruel images of his cheeky grin seemingly being favoured over hundreds of others.

“You’ve woken up late.” Your dad softly mocked with a chuckle, a daze that you were viciously lured into being cancelled by the sound.

You took your seat next to your mother, picking at what whatever leftovers were on her plate. “Must have been the jet lag.”

That answer was heavily dishonest though the tinge of honesty, which fought its way to the front, shone through for the rest to see.

Oliver sighed dramatically as he slumped back in his seat, pushing the plate in front of him away.

“We’ve been waiting ages for you.”

His complaints were swiftly disallowed, soon being met with a hissed reprimand by your mother. She claimed that they had only claimed this table a maximum of half an hour and to stop complaining which ignited a light snort from you.

Seeming to notice your endless picking, your dad kindly placed a plate in front of you with a raise of his eyebrows, your usual breakfast order covering every inch of it.

You smiled gratefully at him in response, the hunger that had built over the hours that you had led awake for describing itself as ravenous though you would say it was simply usual.

“So, what are we doing today?” He questioned with a light grin failing to attempt to conceal its harsh presence.

“Have you already got plans with your new boyfriend?” Your mum teased although it held a genuine inquiry behind it.

With a short shrug, your dad looked around to see if his friend had sat anywhere nearby. “Maybe.”

Your brother and you shared a knowing look, the impending doom of your mother’s bet being correct beginning to cast a dark shadow over the both of you. He had seemingly made a best friend for himself already on this trip and by the looks of it, they had superglued themselves to one another.

“What are they?”

There was a strong hesitance in saying these words. Not only was this bad for you claiming the money you all had put down but also on a deep personal level. The more your dad was around Mark would mean the more you were around his eldest son.

“Where else but the beach?” Mark answered for him, having somehow snuck over whilst you all had distracted yourselves with conversation. He and your dad shared a friendly handshake before they turned back to the rest of you.

You could not help but let your eyes follow the path the man had most likely previously taken, a shorter than expected distance separating the two groups. A familiar pair of brown eyes met with yours at the end of your adventure. They watched you harshly, refusing to back down and look away. Jude’s competitive side kicking in even at the smallest of things.

He had his tongue poked into his cheek, arms at his side as he leant back in his chair. To most, including you, he looked like the living embodiment of calm at this moment in time. All his attention solely focused on you, and it had been since the second you had walked in.

“Sounds amazing.” Your mother replied for all of you. Her words hit men in front of her first however she couldn’t help but keep her eyes on you and exactly where they were focused. A knowing look coated her otherwise innocent face, calling your attention. “We can you meet you there?” 

The brief discussion that followed suite was not one that intrigued you, but you still managed to ease yourself back into a worse reality than expected. They could be better labelled as ‘adult discussions’ no matter how much you were one yourself, or at least that’s what your age told you.

It was no surprise when you woke up outside of the restaurant, the walk back to the resort only having just began.

Your brother and father were walking up ahead. Short tinges of their conversation glided over to you, the small amount letting you know that you were not interested.

“He is very pretty.” Your mum started, looking briefly back over to you before returning her eyes back to where they should be. You snapped your head over to her, confused as to who she was talking about.

“Jude.”

Your stomach seemed to drop the composure it was previously holding, your legs putting in double the work just to keep putting one in front of the other. “I’m not interested.”

That was all you could seem to brew in that moment, the hours you have had to prepare a composed answer going to waste in such little time.

“Oh well.” She shrugged. “I was just saying that if you brought him home, you would not be hearing any complaints from me.”

The moments that would be needed to even process her saying something like that about someone, let alone him, were used to her unfair advantage. Her large strides carried her far out of the range your secret conversation was taking place in.

Thoughts occupied you up until walking into your room, your bodies newfound usage of autopilot already heavily overdone.

There was nothing that you could pinpoint from the time spent in your own mind, it seemingly managing to occupy you and delete any memory from doing so all in the same milliseconds.

You had been smart enough to unpack upon arriving back from the makeshift bar last night, each item of clothing having it’s designated seating in the wardrobe or surrounding draws. It made it overwhelmingly simple to reach in and pick out the perfect swimsuit and you loved it.

The speed in which you had managed to get ready could have qualified you for the Olympics, a proud personal best that had impressed each of your family. You had very few tasks to complete, having prepped all of which you could before going downstairs for breakfast.

“That was quick.” Your dad commented as he was a witness to you closing and locking your hotel door. Oliver seemed to get a brief laugh out of that however a sharp slap on the arm was enough to shut him up.

Your mother had already called for the lift by the time you walked over to her, the down arrow a bright shade of red that contrasted with the usual plain grey. She smiled brightly at you, complimenting your choice of outfit.

“Have you definitely got everything?” Your brother asked you when the doors opened, his eyes centred on the bag you were carrying.

“Yes. I’m not stupid.” You were quick to defend though his words shot a sense of worry through you. You quickly patted around on the outside, recounting everything that you had previously put in there before you stepped in.

It was once again a short ride, your constant luck at having no one decided to enter seeming to continue for far too long. You all disembarked at the end, the loud ping that held the power to destroy eardrums ordering you all to do so.

A map that sat embarrassingly present in your dad’s hand as you all wondered towards the exit caught your attention. Its humbling presence was not quiet, plastered out in all its drawn glory for the other tourists to see.

“Honey, the taxi driver will know where to go.” Your mother reassured his silent worrying with a hand on his arm.

“I know that. I’m just double checking that’s all.”  He said whilst he folded it up and put it in one of his short’s pockets.

Taxis line the exit of the resort, each waiting for their designated customer to finally enter. Oliver insisted on going in the one farthest to your right, claiming that he had the coolest car. You weren’t one to argue with him at this specific moment, not having the energy to do so.

Three of you squeezed uncomfortably into the back whilst your dad took his seat upfront, happily saying hello to the driver. The two managed to spark up a conversation quicker than expected, your next trips planned out by a man you all had only just met.

He managed to seamlessly drive you through the windy, thin streets, not one speed bump taken too fast nor too slow. An approximate twenty-minute drive had turned into fifteen by him leaving your dad nothing to say other than a detailed account on how even if he could give him ten stars, he would still try and give eleven.

The taxi driver dropped you off with a laugh. Oliver shoved three fingers in your face, his happiness falling overboard at how your dad had knocked his own wife out of the ongoing bet.

“Three? This is only his second.” You corrected him with a harsh look over your shoulder.

“My dear sister, you went to bed too early last night.” He placed a sweaty arm over your shoulder. “Mark and dad managed to meet Chris, a fellow Englishman. They bonded over their love of rugby and shared many pints together.”

With a scoff, you shoved him away from you, patting the towel you had brought over the infected sin.

Sand seamlessly melted within your feet, the sandals you had put on doing little to create the protective barrier they had promised to. It invaded every crevasse that it could reach, embedding itself so that pieces of it would still linger five showers later.

The sun had set early last night to prepare for what it was planning for today, the heat radiating off it challenging the factor fifty that your mother had forcefully applied to every part of bare flesh.

You soon placed your fresh towel onto the ground, the little wind that there was making it an easy job to do. You placed your bag to the side of you before laying down, the sunglasses over your eyes doing so little that a cap was needed so you wouldn’t blind yourself and burn your scalp at the same time.

You could hear the kafuffle your family were currently going through to get themselves comfortable. Oliver’s impatience was kicking in, the lack of his friend’s presence not being enjoyable for him.

Your mum had sat on the sunbed closest to you however it remained a fair distance away, it took her words being spoken in an unusual volume for you to be able to hear her.

“Sunbathing today?” She asked as she shuffled around to make sure the sun was hitting every part of her just how she wanted.

Nodding in response, you let the sound of the calm waves washing upon shore to envelope you in a comforting embrace, the mere sound managing to melt any tension in your body.

The calmness did not last as long in your body as it previously requested, its permit denied as voices began getting closer and closer to you.

An inhumane squeal sounded from your mother when she hugged Denise, your peripheral vision going against what you wanted it to and instead being nosy.

You could hear your brother and Jobe sharing a conversation although the lack of Jude struck a desire in you that you tried ever so hard to get rid of.

It took the form of a fire, one that soon had firefighters called on it.

A towel was placed down next to yours, a familiar body thudding down on top of it. Any want for him to be around you was replaced with a need to get away.

Your heart had taken it upon itself to panic the rest of your body. A job that it had been elected to by a party of one.

“You look pretty.” He had seemed to be able to find his voice.

You continued looking forward, the black hue that covered your sunglasses destroyed by the sun, leaving anyone and everyone to see exactly where you were looking.

Clearing your throat, you lead your head deeper into the sand, pleading for it too wash over your face. “Thanks.”

The response was short and snappy, a warning sign that you had decided to place to remind him to step cautiously.

Jude had not needed that reminder, at least that is what he had spent the last five hours telling himself. His dad informing him of their plans for the day was enough to send him into overdrive. The tension that embodied every movement he made making that abundantly clear.

He watched you as you laid there as peaceful as ever, his eyes taking a mind of their own despite the constant reminders that were being placed in front of him due to the fact he was beginning to look like a stalker. He couldn’t help it. The feeling of having so much to say yet not having the words to do so was the sensation he had grown to feel comfortable around. It integrated itself so deeply into his everyday life since you that it would leave a gaping hole in its departure.

Your families continued to enjoy one another’s company, your brothers playing football, your fathers having meaningless conversations whilst your mothers gossiped. It was a dream. One that you had discussed for nights on end as you wrapped yourselves in each other’s comfort, your bodies creating a heat that a fire could not attempt to produce.

The silence that surrounded the both of you was a surprising comfortable one. Though it soon had Jude feeling uncomfortable, the scary facts that he was producing in his mind leaving him nothing to enjoy this time with.

A ping of his phone had him reminded of his mission for today, his eyes not having to glance over in its direction to know what it was saying.

You allowed yourself to look over in his direction when he sat up, your eyes meeting with his. You raised your eyebrows in question as to what he was doing although before you could convince yourself to not be interested, he was already making his move.

“So, there is this party that isn’t really a party that a friend of mine is throwing, and I was wondering if you wanted to come.”

He knew what your answer was going to be, and he had in fact prepared for it. The beautiful card he had to play being one that most could only dream of.

“It is very nice of you to invite me but no thank you.” You attempted to keep your response polite so you did not have another reason to think it would be a promising idea to go.

Jude nodded slowly at what you said, “No problem. Abi’s going to be there so I thought you might want to see her.”

“Abi?” Your head snapped back into his direction, the mention of your favourite of his friends’ girlfriends leading you down a path that you shouldn’t go down.

His eyes lingered on yours, the both of you entranced by the other. You let yourself think about this, the bad that would come with this being pushed to the back of your mind whilst the good to the forefront.

“Yeah.” His voice came out croaky, a small resemblance to the nervousness he couldn’t help but feel.

“Tell her to text me with the details.”

You had failed to follow the plan he had set in place, a curveball that should have been prepared for bypassing his ribs to hit him straight in the heart.

He lifted his hand to stroke the back of neck, averting his eyes away from where you lead in your comfortable position to the sea that somehow managed to mock him. Swiftly, he looked back at you, stumbling over words. “Or I mean-. Well, I could.”

Biting your bottom lift, you softly closed your eyes in slight awkwardness.

“That’s okay.” Your voice was three octaves higher than you were aware it could reach, your throat closing off in an attempted cringe.

“No problem.”

Jude led back onto his towel, his mind a hurricane of thoughts. However, he still allowed himself to focus on the good.

THE GOLDEN SUN shone brightly in the crisp summer sky as it casted its warmth across your bare shoulders in a gentle, comforting breath. A cerulean blue washed against the vast canvas above, puffs of clouds slowly disappearing inwards.

“And we can take a nice, deep breath.” Your dad announced as though it were an achievement to even make it to the resort, his body rising and falling rhythmically.

 You stood and watched him as the bag you had packed earlier that morning weighed down your arm. It reprimanded you harshly, allowing you no breaks between the minutes that you had already been holding it.

“Dad, can we just go inside?” Your brother asked, his voice the living embodiment of boring. In response, your dad could only laugh. He beckoned you all forward, leading the way towards the vast glass doors that stood only a mere two feet away.

They opened hastily, letting out a small ring as you all entered through them. The cooling air-con that sat strategically placed above the door hit you in the face, sliding down throughout the rest of your body.

The lobby was mostly empty despite the number of plants that were growing throughout. It was a battle to lead your uncooperative suitcase past them. Somehow, it always managed to end up gripped to a vase or pot that held the greenery, refusing to let go as though the two objects had managed to befriend one another in a matter of seconds.

Your family allowed you to struggle, each wandering up to the desk in front so they could gather the room cards. A brief conversation with the receptionist about how ‘wonderfully beautiful’ the resort was, allowed you to catch up to them in time to politely take yours from the unfortunate woman.

She had managed to strike up the more talkative side of your father. The conversation ranged from the beginning sentence to surrounding activities to undoable work hours. Your mother seemed to have enough as she excused him from the conversation, slowly but surely dragging him away by his closest shoulder.

“How many ‘friends’ do you think he’s going to make on this trip?” Your brother, Oliver, asked with a cheeky grin coating his lips. “I’ll bet you a fiver it’ll be four.”

“Four? I’ll go with seven.” You responded as you stepped into the lift, sneakily shaking one another’s hands in an abrupt agreement to the bet you had just made.

Your mum leaned back from where she was standing so her head could land up in between the pair of you.

“Too high. Bound to only be two.”

Her voice could hardly consider itself as a whisper, its noise level exceeding the limit as to how loud it could be. Though your dad’s humming to the music that surrounded the death-trap of a mechanism seemed to be able to drown it out enough.

You scoffed in response. She had a history of underestimating her own husband in these kinds of circumstances and you could only hope that this would be another instance to add to the failure of a streak.

With a ping, you were all ushered out of the lift. There was a very brief conversation on where you all would next meet, Oliver’s hurry to get into his room being the main reason for that. Your dad did not want you roaming around an unfamiliar environment by yourself, no matter how peaceful it was, so you instead opted to meet back outside the lift.

It was a stronger relief than you had expected when you had finally pushed the keycard against the slot in the door, pushing the door open with your free shoulder. You abandoned your carry on and suitcase in an instance, banishing them to the corner of the room. The comfiness of the bed was loudly calling your name and you weren’t one to ignore someone nor something so in need of your approval.

You allowed yourself few moments of rest to gather whatever energy you had left over. There was not a multitude of it, but it would have to do. Kicking your legs into the air, you threw yourself upwards into a standing position so you could approach your suitcase, making the silly decision to unpack later when you came upstairs to get ready for dinner.

A bikini lead folded neatly atop of multiple towels, its burgundy colouring having to do for now. You quickly removed the clothes you had worn during the flight, replacing them with said bikini and a coverup just in time to answer the sound of a fist pounding against the unfortunate slab of wood that was your door.

“Hurry up then!” Said Oliver when you had made it to your door, his impatient eyes following you as you scrambled to collect everything you may need for those hours around the pool.

Your parents were both ready, dressed in a matching colour of swimwear, the same pair of sunglasses resting atop of their heads. They had managed to time the arrival of the lift perfectly, leaving no more waiting for your brother and you than necessary.

Everyone stayed slightly throughout the short ride. There was no reason for any form of conversation, each saving that for later in the day when the need placed itself in front of you.

Unsurprisingly, the lift had not lengthened its short arrival on the ground floor. You were the first to exit, a game of follow the leader ensuing so you could arrive at the poolside in one piece.

The foreign sun was soon to introduce itself to your skin, the heat that radiated off it being unlike any that you had previously felt. It snaked through your coverup, surpassing any defence that your sunscreen had placed, with ease. You all chose a row of five with your mother on the farthest end so she could be next to you.

Your dad was the one who lost the coin-toss, swiftly forced to collect you each a drink. Though, Oliver opted out of having one instead b-lining straight towards the pool just like he did when he was only eight years younger.

A certain peace encapsulated all of you, the sound of laughter carrying from the families around as the wind passed through all of them, dancing within the palm trees that sat firmly in their allocated areas.

“Well, that’s number one.” Your mum commented, turning her head just in time to catch your confused eyes so she could point to what she was referring too.

You laughed lightly at the sight that met you, your social dad already managing to abandon his prior mission and instead talking to a man he had sat next to at the open bar.

“Only one more to go for you then.” You reminded her before shuffling around slightly to get more comfortable.

She sighed lightly at what you said, “Is it too late to change my bet?”

You didn’t bother to use your words but rather to just slowly nod. Out of the corner of your eyes, you could make out her lightly hitting her leg in a makeshift punishment.

Whispering to herself, your mother lead back down on the sun lounger, feigning a disinterest at what was happening around her. She had pushed her sunglasses up over her eyes, the black coating making it so you could not see where she was looking, no matter how close you were to her.

There was an interest as to what she had managed to notice now so you began your own investigation. Dragging your eyes across the pool area to look for the suspect that had caught her attention, you questioning did not linger for a long time. A familiar set of brunette hair emerged out of the pool, his previously worn cap in hand.

He approached you with swift and sure movements, “I need you to protect this with your life.”

Your mother, who had become attuned to his antics, took the cap from his hands, placing it at her side. Oliver threw her a thumbs up before he went back to whatever he was doing beforehand.

The time passed by quickly, your body succumbing to exhaustion not soon after your brothers confusing request. Your mum had not fully given up when she woke you up, trying to ask you once again what she had prior to catch you out but it wasn’t anything she hadn’t tried before.

She had collected each of you one by one, your dad being the first victim and you the last. Both the men in your small group had become surprisingly hungry during the activities they had decided to do. It left you to realise you had never received that diet coke you had requested, leaving a slight resentment in your dry mouth.

“Have fun with your friend?” Your mum asked her husband, leaving a suggestion for him to add his name into the last slot of the sentence.

“Mark.” Your dad corrected, placing an arm over her shoulder. “And yes, he is genuinely nice. He has two kids as well, same age and everything.”

The doors once again opened with a loud ping, allowing everyone to leave with slow and light steps, the heat draining whatever you all had left.

You each excused yourselves to your rooms, a time limit still managing to be set at how long you had to get ready. Shaking your head as you unlocked your door, gathering your shower supplies from your suitcases before heading straight for the bathroom. You stripped off out of your bikini, making sure to throw your freshly washed hair into a bun as you turned the water onto cold, allowing it to fall over your body and wake you up slightly.

It was only a brief shower, doing all the necessary hygiene routines before reaching out to turn off the shower and grab a towel.

Having made the silly decision not to unpack earlier on, a mess slowly gathered in your room as you attempted to neatly sift through to find an acceptable outfit. It conveniently led at the very bottom of the suitcase; a strategy you had previously used that had ended up not going in your favour despite your efforts for it too. You had a longer than average history of being a bad packer that overestimated the amount of energy you would have upon arriving at your location. An unideal duo.

You sat at your desk chair with your outfit on, a small beauty blender in hand as you applied the concealer in the necessary places. There wasn’t a need to do makeup at once due to the one easy activity that you were doing so you chose to keep it light and easy.

For once, you seemed to get your time keeping in check. No one had come banging on your door by the time you were ready, leaving you to dawdle as you went through your bag to check you needed anything.

Your brother leant against the wall beside your room when you exited, phone in hand.

“This holiday is awesome. I met my idol today.” He whispered to you when he noticed your presence.

“Oh yeah? Did you fangirl?” You asked with a mischievous tone that was meant to mock him, but he was too much of a way through cloud nine to have the ability to notice that.

Oliver moved his head from side to side, deciding on his answer. “Slightly. Didn’t recognise him at first but when I did, I built up the courage to talk to him and it was great. Played a bit of water-polo with them and everything.”

“Is that the Alexander guy?”

His face dropped at your words, not one attempt to hide the strong snarl on his face succeeding, “Alexander guy? Seriously?”

“I don’t know football.” You defended with a shoulder raise leaving him to roll his eyes.

“No. It was someone else you wouldn’t know.” Oliver corrected. “We can count mum out of the bet, right?”

He fiddled around with putting his phone away in his pocket as he spoke, lowering his tone at the small chance that you dad had decided on hiding out to scare the pair of you.

“Of course.” You responded with an ‘obviously’ look which this time he had managed to notice though you did lay it on thicker than what you would usually prefer to do.

Oliver was about to give you a rude response when your parents called the both of you over, blissfully ignorant as to whatever was going on. They pressed the button to wait for the lift, striking up a conversation as to what might be best to do tomorrow.

The restaurant was a larger walk away than you all had anticipated when you had finally gotten downstairs. You walked what felt like all the hotel’s property before you finally arrived at the desired location. The sound of multiple conversations happening at one echoing throughout your ears. Though it was beginning to step back from its leading position, the sun’s heat lingered throughout the air, latching to your bare flesh as you walked through it in attempt to find a free table. The artificial light waved towards you, reflecting off every window that you passed, its brightness making you feel as though you would need sunglasses to get through this dinner.

A table of six was clear in front of you, allowing you to get off your feet, the pain beginning to get worse the more you walked. Despite being busy, the restaurant was yet to be full to its capacity, though the way people scattered themselves all over the place gave the image that it was.

Taking your seats, everyone picked up their own menu, decisively dragging their eyes across the busy piece of laminated paper. Discussions ensued about if anyone would be willing to share anything, everyone taking turns to list out their options. Your mum and you decided upon getting a sharing platter, neither of you particularly hungry.

The waiter soon made his rounds to your table, politely introducing himself being writing down your orders in his black, tarnished notepad.

Steady conversation ensued for the rest of the night, someone always having an opinion to share or a new topic to branch of off.

It was dark by the time you left on full stomachs; the majority of the restaurant’s guests having emptied out as well. The walkway lit with more soothing lighting, the yellow tone inciting tranquillity as birds sung their final song of the day.

Heels moved in harmony with one another, whispered conversations shared between one another as you all walked.

“Mark invited us to join him for a couple drinks at the pool, who feels like coming?” Your dad offered up, a chorus of agreement coming from the rest of your family. It wasn’t ideal for you to be doing this but since everyone else had already decided upon going, you left yourself with no choice but to go.

You allowed him to show you the way around once everyone had got going again. Your strides were steady, passing people with a friendly smile as you began to approach the pool once again. It was completely empty, towels still lead on sun loungers, most simply thrown on top and others folded.

The moon shone brightly, the almost full appearance it boasted being far too beautiful to not take a second to appreciate. A gentle wind still blew past your shoulders, forcing the heat that claimed its position in the air, into your already boiling body.

Flowers surrounded the edge of the resort in unity, insignificant amounts beginning to bloom and other having reached their time but all managing to stay equally as beautiful. Healthy grass filled every gap needed, helping to make the walkway look fuller.

Each one of you expressed your confusion as to where this supposed planned meet up was taking place though a short walk soon answered your silent questioning.

Music spilled out from speakers that positioned themselves perfectly around the bar to cause the least disturbance. Table came in few though most came empty. Instead, people gathered around the barrels that had barstools pushed up against them. Most opted not to use the provided branded coasters, their cold pints of beer placed rebelliously against the wooden top.

“There you are!” The man that was supposedly Mark walked up to your dad, a fist-bump taking place between the pair. “Thought you might have opted out of coming.”

“Never mate. I don’t turn down an enjoyable time.” Your dad laughed along with him. “This is the family.”

He introduced you all one by one, pointing to make it certain as to who he was talking about. You waved when it was your turn to, a small smile formed of regret making its way onto your face.

“Nice to meet you all.” Mark said, turning his body over to where his wife and sons sat. Or at least that’s what he said, your vision unable to do its only job due to your mum standing directly in front of you.

Not that you minded, the quicker you could get out of there the better.

There was no other chance given, however. Your mothers firm grip that enclosed your wrist always keeping you right by her side. She had dragged you over to the table before you could count to ten to complete the first deep breath you were having to take.

Your brother and his newly made friend recognised one another in an instance, taking themselves elsewhere to your and his mum’s displeasure. They called out a demand of ‘staying close’ though it was to no usage, the effort to do that wasting itself within a matter of seconds.

That seemed to make you mum far more hyperaware of your presence, her hand that held your wrist dragging you down into the seat next to her as everyone got acquainted.

“Sweetheart, do you want anything to drink?” Your dad asked you, taking a break from his walking away. Mark was steps ahead, not realising your fathers lack of presence.

You shook your head, “I’m not going to stay long so no thank you.”

Feeling your mums’ eyes linger on you in question, you turned to look at Denise. Her and your mum were partway through a conversation, your parent’s ability to be social being a skill you had not inherited nor developed.

“My Jude was just the same but if you look at him now, you would never be able to tell.” Denise stated, her hands moving around everywhere to emphasise her unknown point.

The singular usage of his name was enough for you heart to begin working harder, oxygen catching itself inside of your throat. It was a conditioned response that you had picked up many months ago, but it was hard not to feel silly at the mere coincidence that managed to weasel itself to directly in your eyeline.

“Sorry, forgive me. Is that your oldest?” Your mum questioned, familiarising herself with the bloodline of this new family.

Denise cracked a smile, “Yes. He should be here any minute now, he just had to take a call.”

Words seemed to blur around the edge of your consciousness for the minutes that passed, none of your interest managing to fixate onto the new topic the conversation had taken on.

Yet again, your father was yet to make a return. Though when you heard a loud roar travel through the crowd, it seemed to follow with hours before in the fact that it was no surprise. He had managed to find a television with the latest rugby match on and there was no method of drawing him away from it that any of your family had learned.

“Sorry about that. Oh.”

That voice. That same voice that was so deeply connected to the name.

No choices other than paralysing any movement your body could make could be handed to you, your eyes not daring to look up from their decided position whilst your arms seized with every muscle grabbing a hold of their closest friend.

It was an indescribable feeling that injected itself into your icy veins. One that you had never been subjected to. Your body seemed to become unfamiliar with the very organs that had been inside of you your whole life, disconnecting your brain from everything it could.

“Ah, Jude! There you are.” Denice began, the sound of wood creaking crawling throughout the bones that sat in your body. “This is Debbie and her daughter y/n.”

There wasn’t anything to shock you more that the fact that months of demanding work to just move on from him and his featherlight touch could undo itself with such little effort. A quick release knot that hadn’t even been pulled on before it began unravelling.

A short jab to the flesh that sat on the arm to your right brought you out of the tsunami wreaking havoc onto your mind.

“Nice to meet you.” He had a small voice crack, clearing it with a short cough of his throat. “Both.”

Looking up through the hoods of your eyelids, the skin around your nail falling victim to your painful habit, you mustered a miniature lifting of the sides of your lips to seem polite enough.

His eyes firmly watched you, for once not a care in the world as to who could possibly see.

The final word he spoke encouraged itself to hold the power of erasing your history, at least to your families. The same ones that both of you had sworn to meet countless times. Though, unfortunately for Jude, nothing nor no one, not even him, could ever deal with the weight of magically pushing away the indifference that lingered heavily between the pair of you.

Re-finding your words, you pushed yourself up from the chair that you sat him, your eyeline cutting out the man that stood on the side of the table.

“I’m going to head up.”

A panic set through Jude. That very same emotion bearing the power of his next actions. He could offer to walk you up to your room, he wanted to offer that. The words failed at exiting out of his throat, claiming a form of stage fright had developed.

He watched helplessly as everyone but him bid you a goodnight. His skin that concealed him so heavily began to heat up, his eyes being the only part of him that claimed its freedom.

They continued to trail you as you walked down towards the resort though his legs refused to cooperate.

“Are you sitting down?” Denise looked at her son suspiciously, her lips forming a strict straight line.

TEARS FOUGHT FOR first place in destroying your carefully completed eye makeup. You couldn’t help but feel there was a bet going on inside of you as to what would get you to break first, the competition lying between anger or sadness.

“I really just don’t understand.” Jude’s words were hesitant to form a sentence. They treated you as though you were a delicate piece of pottery. One that he had just thrown onto the ground.

Folding your lips into one another, you were careful with your next move. The last thing you wanted to do right then was embarrass yourself any more than you already had.

“You are playing the innocence card, perfect.” You mumbled the words under your breath forcing him to lean in so he could catch the last of their appearance.

“I didn’t know I had any other cards to play.” He was quick in his response, leaving no time for the tension to settle in. “But if you told me what I have done to make you upset, maybe I would be able to choose between them more wisely.”

With a scoff, you averted your gaze from him to somewhere far simpler. The confusion that was repelling from his body getting to be too much.

Your hands were dancing with another arrhythmically in a desperate attempt to stop your furious emotions from taking control over you. They were a distraction gifted to you on a silver platter. But they only lasted so long before his thinking was over.

“Come on, tell me. Then I can make it right.”

The harsh wind blew in from your side, shouting down upon your unprepared shoulders as the light fog of summers frozen breath descended from the sky.

You took a final deep breath before you allowed the words to slip over from your now chapped lips. “I heard you and your friends talking, wasn’t trying to eavesdrop but the conversation managed to get interesting.”

Tension began its reign. The look of shock mixing with horror like it was the easiest made cocktail formed on his face. Words attempted at an explanation but all failed, freezing up just as they made their way onto the stage.

There was nothing you could do but stand and watch, your stomach yet to pick itself off the dirtied floor.

Jude tried multiple different routes of explanation, but none made the cut against his harsh criticism. “I didn’t think it would ever go this far.”

What he had opted for did little to console you. It built a new wave of embarrassment to wash you away with though this time acceptance had managed to talk its way into being able to take its place.

“What because you are a more decent guy than that?” Laughter bubbled over from your overwhelmed body. “The fact is that you were willing to do this to someone you had never met. For what? A slap on the back from your mates?”

His head began to vigorously shake, denying all your accusations with haste. He knew they were true; he knew you knew they were true, but he was desperate.

“It was just to go on a date and-.” The explanation he was trying to get across to you didn’t make it long.

“I don’t care.” You began as you finally looked back in his direction. “What was this going to cause except from hurt? Even if it was the slightest bit.”

He closed his eyes, bringing up his hands so he could capture his hair in them. There was nothing more that you had ever desired than to walk up to him and tell him an apology was all you needed because you knew he would give you that. But somewhere in you refused to accept that, fighting onwards.

“Tell me what I can do to make it up to you and I will do ten times that.” Jude pleaded whilst he allowed you to see his tear-stained face. You took it in, staring with a harshness that you never thought you could give.

“Give me a second chance so I can make sure you don’t regret giving me the first.”

Your body was beginning to give in, your knees aching at the possibility of taking a mere two steps so you could be in his arms once again.

That part of you however still managed to hold out. “I do regret it though. You didn’t even want it in the first place, I was nothing but a bet to you!”

Jude took a step forward, but you were quick in taking one back, forming a boundary that he had to listen to.

“Don’t reduce yourself to that. You were always so much more to me than-.” He paused at the end. As though he was in denial to say what he had done.

“A bet. You may as well say it, you did it.” Your snappiness was beginning to form a bite on it. One that had him flinching.

The exit you had formed for yourself since the start was beginning to come in handy, small, calculated steps beginning to form a distance between the two of you. A similar one to which you had thought you would never have to set in place.

“I’m not an idiot and I have self-respect. It’s no one’s fault but your own that you are in this situation, so you need to accept that.” Desperation reached down the back of your throat, clawing its way down with no remorse.

“Let me fix this.” He tried once again but noticed that lack of dents he was forming in the wall you had built.

“Goodbye Jude.”

The gap was like one formed between two separate continents and neither of you were strong swimmers. So, he watched in slow motion as your figure retreated, the calls of his friends echoing beside him. Not even a hand firmly shaking his shoulder could break his eyes from you.

JUDE’S VOICE RAN through the house, alerting you of his nearby presence. The sound of his heavy feet making their way to you kept you in your place as you continued to mix the pasta sauce you had prepared for dinner.

He cut you off mid motion by wrapping his hands around your waist, his face finding its familiar spot in your neck.

“Smells so good.” His words were practically incoherent, your own flesh blocking their passageway to your ears. Without responding, you lifted your free hand up to his head, stroking it throughout his head.

After a couple of minutes, you had completely forgotten he was there, his heavy weight on you leaving you able to make your way over to one of the draws you would need. “Want to try some?”

Those words seemed to have woken him up, his head flying upwards as his hands loosened their once tight grip on you. You laughed under your breath lightly. Grabbing the spoon, you approached the stove, his expectant body managing to stand in your way.

You dipped the spoon into the pan, blowing lightly on it before you lifted it towards his mouth. Your hand found its place under his chin, making sure to catch any rebellious drips that escaped from their metallic enclosure.

The second it made its way to his tastebuds; a string of compliments fell from his lips. Most you hadn’t even heard before. They continued to follow each other even when you had turned around in attempt to hide your reddened cheeks.

“I don’t get how you manage to do it every time.” Jude finished off with, placing his hands firmly on your hips so he was able to spin you around and see your face. A large smile melted his face when he was able to finally look at you.

“Thank you.” Your voice was small, almost making your boyfriend feel as though he had gone deaf in a matter of seconds.

“Pardon?” His tone was mocking as his face inched closer to yours. The way your eyes dropped towards his lips had his smile growing if that were even possible.

Breaking them away, you rolled your eyes, instead opting to look at the ceiling. “Thank you.”

Your voice was louder as you repeated yourself. This time, you made sure that he could hear perfectly fine, making his chuckle.

His lips met with your forehead lovingly, a silent response that said more than words could. With that, you turned back around to focus all your attention back on making the confusing recipe that you had decided upon last night. A time where you had a considerably more energy than you did right now.

“Can I have more?” Jude had moved closer to you effortlessly, his lips pretty much against your ears as he whispered into them. You hit him on the chest, not bothering to face him.

“Go shower!” The smile you now wore despite trying to act annoyed was loud in your tone no matter how hard you tried for it not to be. “You can have more when we eat dinner.”

He leant down his head so he could peck your collarbone, lingering those needed extra second so he could feel you shiver under his feather like touch. Once he had, he took that as his signal to walk away, grabbing his once abandoned bag as he did so.

YOUR BACK WAS pressed against the wooden chair as sweat began to settle on your skin. The sun had decided to make a sudden appearance during spring, the humid air emitting from it being enough to push you out of your slowly boiling house. It saved no effort for the summer, instead opting to use it all up on one day.

Your friend’s decision to all meet at the closest pub garden being one that a large number of others had shared. A loud chatter blurred around the edge of your consciousness. Currently, the race that two droplets of water were having to see which would make it to the bottom of the glass first was far too interesting to miss.

There was a disinterest that had followed you around all day. Without any warning, you lacked the ability to focus on anyone’s words or actions. Whether or not that was the heart that clung to you or the brown eyed man that was still trying to get back in contact, you couldn’t be sure.

It was a surprise when your friend’s hand ended up waving itself directly in front of your eyes, its appearance largening in the glass’s reflection.

“You alright?” She questioned you with a cocked head. You sent her a vigorous nod in return, leaning forward to grab a handful of the assorted nuts they had left on your table.

Her eyes watched you atop of her beer glass, your every move forced under a harsh microscope. Your shoulders were beginning to shrink inside of themselves, your body slightly falling downwards in the chair.

Though, when you finally looked up at her, they had been escorted elsewhere. Despite this fact, the discomfort remained in your body, making you shiver no matter the temperature.

You took the chance to look around you slightly. The tables around you were full, little had their umbrellas up, most choosing to catch a tan under the sun’s aggressive rays. Shoulders that had browned were now beginning to taint themselves a particular shade of red, including yours.

One pair of eyes were stuck to your body like super glue when you were about to finish your brief search, their familiar appearance leaving you no choice but to hastily look away.

The water droplets race had now finished, a round two commencing with others running. You had opted for the left side to win, mentally placing a bet on it to see if the distraction could calm your racing heartbeat. Both failed miserably, left colliding with the right side as it was about to cross the finish line.

It left you nothing to do but allow yourself to creep your eyes back in his direction. They met with his once again, his collected appearance being enough for you to glue to him for much longer than originally planned.

A white vest adorned his chest, framing his biceps to such perfection it was worthy of an art museum. The cap he wore shielded his face from most around him but the seats he had opted for gave you a perfect view of him and him, you. Though from the way a cheeky grin had enveloped is face when he realised you were staring directly back at him had you wanting nothing more than to be able to look away.

You could feel your eyes begging to move but your brain managed to keep control of them. It kept them in control for as long as it could before it was deemed as unworthy to be making such decision from your heart. Its delicate outer-layer shattering one too many times by that man to concede zero contact from just a smile.

With that, you rejoined the conversations with your friends no matter how hard it was. His nagging eyes stayed on you, pleading with you for just one more look.

“And my boss just refuses to give me a bloody break!” Your exasperated friend complained one final time before your others moved in to give their equally as annoyed opinions. You had attempted to give your words of advice but the lack of information you had managed to pick up had you agreeing with everything else everyone was saying.

Jude had not left you with that awkward situation for long, your phone soon buzzing with texts from him.

You look beautiful. The first had read, not having a moment to linger in the spotlight before the second came in. I brought you that dress.

You rolled your eyes at both, your hands itching to put the phone down and have a nice evening with your friends like you had promise but it soon became obvious that your brain had appealed your hearts decision and resumed its previous role.

you did. Was all you could muster in that second. The tips of your fingers had moved with such hesitation that it took close to four minutes to type in and send those two words.

It wasn’t even a second before a text from him was shooting back. Maybe I could see more of it tonight.

Looking over to him, you watched as he raised his eyebrows in questioning, pushing you to answer his possibility.

maybe not

You slammed your phone down onto the table after that, the strength at with which you do so mixed with the swiftness shocking all your friends. In attempt to distance yourself from him, you had only ended up closer than ever and that barrier you had set up around your heart was beginning to crumble each time it expanded with more force than it should be.

“I ask again, are you okay?” The final words that Sara had spoken were heavily enunciated, the worry becoming alarmingly clear as she leaned closer towards you.

“Yeah, awesome.” You responded after a few beats. There was a silence that encapsulated your table, each of their eyes on your face with such a violent heat that didn’t mix well with the humidity already getting itself familiar with the air around you.

They all laughed slightly at your answer, obviously not believing either word that you had to say. Though none of them pushed, knowing the effect that it could have if they were to.

Sara used her closeness to snatch your phone from its downward position on the table when everyone had become distracted for a brief second. The notification she had seen on your home screen had her jaw on the floor though she quickly recovered to keep your privacy.

“Him? Again?” She whispered to you as she met with your pleading eyes. Within a matter of milliseconds, it had given her all the information that she could need.

Sara had been the only one to know of the situation that had taken place between Jude and you, her investigative tendencies coming out in full force when she realised you were beginning to become more secretive during hangouts. She wasn’t happy then and nothing had changed since then.

You sighed, a certain sensation that not even you could pinpoint running through your body with a cooling effect. “It’s almost sum-.”

“You’ve tried the summer fling before.”

She was quick in cutting you off, hitting your knee under the table when she did so. Her eyes held such an accusatory look to them that you felt like a child again, your mother scolding you for having a random sweet before dinner.

“He broke contact not me.” You grimaced at your own excuse, “Plus, I turned him down.”

“Take the phone back and tell me you won’t change your mind then.” Her hand was extended in your direction, the pressure that she was putting on you in so many different forms had you doing exactly what she had challenged you to.

The phone case’s corners were lifted out of place before being popped back down, your fingers needing a job that wasn’t texting his latest text back no matter how hesitant they were the first time. He had a particular way of weakening you and you were yet to figure out his exact methods so that you could create a good enough defence to them.

Slowly, you span it around in your hand. The facial ID was quick to recognise your features, your phone unlocking to show you a Venmo notification followed by a text. Out of pure confusion, you made the decision to click on it, already beginning to lose to Sara.

Then maybe I could see you in something else?

The text was sent first, soon followed by the £750 he had decided to send to you.

Your eyes widened so far that they almost encountered your furrowed eyebrows. Looking upwards towards where he once sat, the site of an empty chair and his friends laughing between one another introduced itself to you.

It wasn’t long before you realised where he had ended up, a pair of hands softly falling upon your reddened shoulders. His face was dangerously close to your neck, the warmth of his breath colliding with the flesh on your ears in such a way that it mixed perfectly with the humidity.

NO SOUNDS CHALLENGED that of the TV show Jude had opted for. Somehow, you managed to keep your focus on the page in front of you, your eyes slowly moving from side to side.

A comfortable silence washed itself upon your living room, just like that of a calm sea. Neither of you felt the need to say something to one another, all your talking having happened all throughout your day.

Warmth emitted from the missing sun, it still leaving its mark no matter what. It wasn’t humid however, the heat being the kind that didn’t make you sticky but rather just hung in the air, showing its presence with no consequence to those around.

You had your legs perched upon his lap, his hand mindlessly creeping under the pyjama bottoms, that you had stolen from him, so he was able to run it across your leg.

This had become your nightly routine ever since moving in with each other. How it came about? You wouldn’t know. It had just come about one day and ever since, the both of you had unconsciously followed it.

It was coming up on 10pm when Jude had turned off the television show, his head falling backwards to rest against the sofa as his eyes stared lovingly down at you.

The strong aroma of flowers clung to your nose, the fresh bunch that he had brought for you only that morning being placed on the table in front of you. They were beautiful, some of the best he had ever brought you. Though you could not name the particular types they were, their colours were majestic and that was enough for you.

“What are you reading?” He questioned softly, not daring to break the peace that encircled you.

You looked up from your book, the word that you had just read quickly leaving your mind. “Just some random romance book I found at the library.”

Turning it around, you let your eyes quickly scan the blurb, reading aloud the parts that described the book the best.

He chuckled at that, the vibrations bouncing throughout your calf muscles. You couldn’t do anything but turn your head to the side, your mind coming up blank as to what he could be laughing at.

Jude seemed to swiftly catch onto your confusion, a smile settling onto his face.

“Read it to me?”

His voice was small, almost nervous as you could hardly make out his loving eyes through the darkness. The singular light that pressured into making the whole room bright enough seemed to have given up, its golden hue hardly making it past the corner that it sat in.

You nodded, opening your arms so he could make himself comfortable. And he did just that, his head finding solace in your neck as his hands wrapped around your waist, their stroking motion restarting but this time on your back.

Flipping to the first page, you began. His breath was warm against your skin, it’s evenness a calming noise. One of your hands held the book whilst the other was in Jude’s hair, the paring of your movements and voice meaning that he fell asleep quicker than he would have liked too.

He could have listened to your voice all day and night, opting for that over anything that the TV could provide for him. It was gentle, perfectly becoming his favourite kind of hug on a chilly day.