I repeated the experiment later, wearing the boots but otherwise my usual clothing and mimicking the expression I thought I’d had at that moment. People parted like I was Charlton Heston.

I now wear that style of boots whenever possible. I recently had a man do a double-take as I walked by and ask me, politely, where I had served because I “looked like a soldier.” I’m not current or former military. I was wearing a flowy purple peasant top and looked as un-soldierlike as possible.

Two school age kids: “Oh look at the big white puppy!”

Their mother: “Come here, let me explain something to you. That dog is a Service Dog. Whenever you see a dog in a store like this you can’t distract it cause it’s working.”

Two kids: “What do you mean he’s working?”

Mom: “He helps that girl. You know how at school your teacher tells you to be quiet so you don’t get distracted doing your work? It’s the same thing with that dog. You can’t distract him.”

Two kids: “What does he help her with?”

Mom: “That’s her business. Your business is to not distract him so he can work.”

I mean really? With the book shelves?

It’s like an alcove of happiness.

You want a whole row of individual seats? Fine, here you go. 

Or how about a whole window bed for those snugglers out there.

Curtains.. Guys this one has curtains.

Seriously? This is basically a glass cube of bliss.

 You can even get them with corners! Not enough corners? Okay.

Ba-BAM!! Corners for cocooning. 

There’s also the Roman-esque themed seat for the historians out there. 

 If you don’t want to snuggle up in blankets with hot cocoa in this then I don’t even know why you’re on this planet. I mean dat stonework. 

This one’s an entire rectangle. Just imagine all the cuddling that could happen in there. It’s practically a fortress.

This one’s fucking curved okay? it’s just chillin, up of the ground, and curved for your lounging convenience. 

1) We don’t want to talk to you.

2) We don’t want to pause our music to talk to you.

3) We don’t even talk to each other on the phone — why would we want to talk to you?

But the biggest reason is A TRAIL. If I e-mail you back, you can see what was said in the future. You can’t tell me I forgot to tell you something because it’s right there. You can’t tell me I “never reached out” because we can both SEE it. I don’t have to trust your recollection.

And, in a group inbox, you can see who has been responded to. I got forwarded a voicemail from my supervisor (through e-mail! imagine that!) asking me to call some lady back for clarification. So I did, against my will of course…and she said somebody had called her yesterday.

Who? When? What did y’all talk about? Is follow-up necessary?

Phone calls back and forth only work in a workflow where the standard procedure is to *log* phone calls in a shared system with a brief summary of what was discussed. Otherwise, y’all need to let us e-mail. It’s not just about a generation gap. It’s also about efficiency.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk. Any feedback can be proffered via e-mail.

EDIT

Your Demons Have Good Advice, Actually - a short comic about moving on after trauma with a fresh new start

Y’all should check out @/bnhaincorrect on Twitter cuz they got some great inspiration