Buttkicker

reblog if (ง︡’-‘︠)ง

the 31st gif in your folder is your muses reaction to receiving a death threat

I will fight your nasty, controlling boyfriends. I will fucking fight them. Not even to gain your love, I’ll just fucking fight them for being assholes. I swear to god. Send your disgusting trash boyfriends my way. I’ll show them what’s up. 

Reblog with a gif of the animal your muse would be.

“Actually I read it a long time ago.” She informed him dismissively, secretly grateful for his answer. She didn’t much like working menial jobs either, or staying in one place for too long. She’d been thinking it only be a couple of days in this hotel but what job wouldn’t demand a bigger commitment then that? It was almost like he’d saved her from a horrible mistake.  “I don’t remember much except you loved that one girl and had a fight with the skinny dude who I think I had a weird crush on and there was a guy and a bear, stuff happened, and then you d-”  Andy stopped on a dime, expression held tight against the panic bells that sounded in her head. She didn’t dare look up, just staring intently at her phone.  Did he know he was going to die? She... she shouldn’t tell him, right? What kind of person would do that, just tell someone they’re going to die? Andy’s mouth was good for a lot of things, but not that. “Sorry, message.” She half-lied, letting out a breath through her nose and flicking back into her email. She did have a new message, just one she’d been ignoring in favor of watching the download. Her friend would pay for the room but she’d already decided not to stay. Surely they could use that money for food instead though? She sighed a bit as she tapped out a reply.  “We should get to bed then if we’re going to be leaving first thing.” 

His eyebrows shot up.  “Like me?  You mean more than tolerate?”

Andy didn’t bother with blades, blades were messy and easier to kill with even by accident. As such she wasn’t exactly fond of them and had lent out her sword to someone who’d lost their own in a body somewhere on the battle field ages ago. But all was well, she had her stick spanning almost her entire height, thick and sturdy with one end heavier than the other; she balanced it on the back of her neck and draped each arm over the sides, parting the crowd carelessly with it’s with. Usually she’d use it as an excuse to shove her way to the front where she’d be decidedly less in the way but a more conspicuous target for the enemy.  Not today however, today she trailed directly behind Dustfinger lingering back a dozen or so steps. It couldn’t be too obvious, not after what she did while they were eating. If the officers started to suspect she was protecting him rather than serving her king, she’d be forcibly removed and relocated. It felt like a thin wire she walked in any direction and all the acrobatics in the world couldn’t keep her aloft.  Again she thought about deserting and entertained the idea of dragging Dustfinger if he refused to go. But he’d already said he would and that was what scared her. If it was a bad decision, whatever happened to him would be her fault. But if they stayed and he died anyway she knew beyond logic she’d blame herself for that as well. Fighting seemed like the only option. Fight and don’t allow your comrades to die. It was all she could do. 

“Believe me I don’t want to do this anymore than you do, but nobody would send me the damn thing.” She groaned, eyes rolling back into her head. Was he going to whine the entire way? And here she’d been kind enough to ask how he was doing, unbelievable, ungrateful, more like.  Andy backed through the metal detector without a fuss and grabbed their carry on things off the conveyor belt. checking to make sure everything was there.  “Trust me it would have been a lot easier to move a book than people.” She called back. And she couldn’t get a round trip out of her mother if her life depended on it so it’s not like she could have just gone to pick it up and come back. And would she have really done that? She stopped to question. Gone all the way back to the States and back to Europe again just for him? Something told her she would, though she was sure most people wouldn’t.  “Think on the bright side, none of your nasty little friends will be following you and so you’re sure to get the book before they do no matter what this time.” The girl reminded him with a waggling brow as she peaked around the machine. 

Dustfinger sank gratefully onto the soft bed next to Andy, but not too close. “What is is?” Her mood had changed from mockingly joking to slightly serious, and he wasn’t sure he liked that. He hadn’t been planning on sticking around long enough for any serious topic to come up. Perhaps she had found out something about his book, or just wanted to ask him to explain what exactly had happened when Silvertongue had read him out, or after. Or maybe she wanted him to leave. That wouldn’t be so bad; he might even be comfortable with bringing it up first.

“If I can get my friend to wire me enough cash to keep this room for a couple days, will you pick up part time work?” She asked bluntly, as though they’d already made an agreement to start traveling together. Andy was aware that they had made no such thing, but she’d already decided to train him and to her that meant sticking together. In a hotel room or on the road hardly mattered but she guessed they both needed to build up their cash reserve to avoid going hungry again. “Nothing too strenuous of course, you need to heal.” She reminded him, not taking her eyes off her phone. “But I’m sure you can manage to cut a vegetable or something.”