Hello there!
You've clicked on this ad, so chances are you're appalled by the title and want to send me hate mail... or maybe (but less likely) you're a semi-hot girl who is looking for a room & has a penchant for science.
Here's the situation: most men, myself included, can be prone to slobbish behavior. Not washing dishes, neglecting to vacuum, wearing the same stained sweatpants for 4 days, eating pizza of an indeterminate origin that we find under the couch...men can be gross.
And grossness begets grossness. If you can't beat em join em, right? With my current roommate (also a male) moving out, I would like a fair lady to take his place to motivate me to do the difficult things in life.... like taking out the garbage or brushing my hair.
Enter YOU, the semi-hot girl! Now, a note about this hotness: you should be around the vicinity of a 6.5 - 8.5. I'm not looking for someone drop dead gorgeous here. You should be cute, yet attainable. If you show up looking like Margo Robbie, we're going to have a problem. I want there to be enough sexual tension to motivate me to scrub the kitchen floors every few weeks, but not so much that I get awkward & can't even talk to you... or sweep the kitchen.
Note that I mean 6.5-8.5 our of 10, not something weird like out of 14. Come one now.
Please note, the above is only a guideline. If you have other redeeming qualities like cooking fancy dinners to share every night, or a job that gives amazing perks that the house can benefit from (free cable, internet) we may consider girls in the 5-6.4 range. Conversely, if you're a solid 9.5 but crazier than a bag of left handed screw drivers, or you have 6 cats, that may be a consideration as well. We want to make this work!
To be very clear, I do NOT want to sleep with or date you. I simply want a female roommate to motivate me to not be a slob. Previously there were 3 men under my roof, and it was a little too "man cave-ish" for me. So you, being semi-hot, will make me be my best roommate! Or such is the theory, anyway (science!). Plus girls smell nice.
Now, if you've met the above criteria and you're not terrified yet, please read on for more details on the room: I am renting out a main floor bedroom in the extremely desirable neighborhood of Briar Hill. Just steps to the Lion's Park LRT, with easy access to 16th Ave N & 14th St. Also really close to Kensington!
Room is a good size. House has 2 bathrooms, laundry, a dishwasher, a HUGE sunny deck and a massive yard. Lots of street parking available. You'll be sharing with two professional males in there late 20s/early 30S.
When not working we enjoy drinking beer, playing records, hanging out with friends, making music, and anything outdoorsy (biking, hiking, snowboarding, etc).
Room is available May 1. Rent is $650/month plus a share of utilities. If you're interested/intrigued/still want to send me hate mail, please go ahead!
Instead of the usual "I'm quiet, professional, mature and clean" when replying to this ad, please answer (in essay format) whether or not you think it is/isn't acceptable to wear leggings as pants, and why/why not.
Thanks, and happy house hunting!
***Please note: this ad is not intending to be discriminatory to men, less attractive women or extremely attractive women. It is meant almost entirely as satire, but hey, if it nets me a semi-hot female roommate, then that's certainly a bonus!***
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