“he hurt me but it felt like true love”

R.C MASTERLIST

RAFE HAS A CRUSH ON WHEEZIE’S BABYSITTER

“GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY CAR”

RAFE’S BSF DEFENDING JJ AT MIDSUMMERS

BSF!RAFE’S DRUNKEN CONFESSION

MASTERLIST

“you will never fucking guess who’s back in town.” topper announces, dropping into his seat at their usual table at the country club.

“top, you really think i care about whatever shit ruthie told you? i have business to deal with and my dad-“ rafe’s sentence dies in his throat as topper says your name, his expression falling instantly.

“oh shiiiit. you talkin’ about rafe’s girl? the one that left him crying when she moved?” kelce says, jokingly patting rafe on the back saying, “good luck bro.”

“are you serious? she’s back? why?” rafe asks as his throat dries up. “thought u didn’t care,” topper teases, laughing with kelce. “just fuckin tell me.”

“i don’t know why she’s back. ruthie said something about her dads business and how they had to move back home.”

“so..so shes staying here? like moving? permanently?” rafe says, running his hands through his hair as he leans back in his seat.

“yes bro, chill with the fucking questions you’ll probably see her soon anyways,” topper replies.

“weren’t you like madly in love with her-“ kelce starts, only to be quickly shut down by rafe.

“just shut up.”

when rafe finally sees you for the first time in 3 years, it’s at the bonfire by the beach. flames light up the night sky, throwing flickering orange light over a sea of locals and tourists while music blasts from a pair of battered speakers.

he spots you almost as soon as he arrives, although he does admit his eyes were desperately searching for you amongst the crowd. you were standing there so casually as if you had never left.

your features had matured, long lashes fluttering against your cheeks as you laughed at something someone said. your eyes caught the golden light of the bonfire, hair flowing with the salty ocean breeze.

he just stands there across the beach, heart pounding in his chest unable to move. he thinks about what he would say to you; did you even remember him? had you even thought about him once since you left? were you here with someone?

“hello- are you even listening?” a kook girl says beside him, snapping her fingers in front of his face. it brings rafe back to reality as he turns towards the girl who looks visibly annoyed by his lack of attention. “huh? what’d you say?” he asks.

“i asked if you want to grab a drink with me.” she replies. just before rafe is about to decline her offer, he realizes that you’re standing right next to the beer keg. “yeah, yeah sure i’m down.”

the girl grabs his hand, dragging him through the crowd of people until they reach the keg. rafe’s gaze never leaves you, even when the girl shoves a red solo cup into his chest. he tries to focus on what she’s saying- he really does. something about how they should ‘go for dinner sometime’ and that she’d ’love to meet his sisters.’ but his eyes keep trailing behind her, landing on you tucking your hair behind your ear, giggling at some random kook.

his jaw clenches as a wave of jealousy tightens his chest. he impulsively pushes the girl to the side and walks over with not a single plan in his head. thankfully your eyes meet his before he has to say anything as you rush over, giving him a tight hug. “oh my god rafe? it’s been so long!” you smile. he can tell you’re tipsy by your flushed cheeks.

a wide grin immediately spreads across his face. “hey doll. it’s good to see you again,” he says, forcing confidence as he tries to prove to you that he’s grown out of that shy kid who used to follow you around like a puppy.

“wow rafe, you look so different.” you say, your eyes trailing him up and down. “and very tall.”

he laughs at your comment, a rush of satisfaction taking over him for a split second. he steps in front of the guy who you were talking to, naturally hiding him from your line of vision. he hears him mutter something of annoyance under his breath before walking away.

“so how’ve you been?” rafe asks.

“i’ve been pretty busy actually, our family moved around a lot before coming back here. but it’s glad to be back.” you say.

“it’s good to have you back. welcome home.” rafe smiles, scratching the back of his head before awkwardly asking, “so uh- do you.. do you have a boyfriend here with you?”

you shake your head, laughing at the way he said it. “no rafe, i don’t have a boyfriend.” he lets out a sigh of relief before laughing with you.

just as you open your mouth to say something, you hear topper calling your name from across the beach, jogging up to give you a hug. “heyyy welcome back, welcome back.” he drunkenly smiles, his arm reaching up to pat rafe on the shoulder.

“i see you’ve already met your number one admirer,” topper says to you with a grin. your brows knit together as you glance between them.

when you finally look at rafe, every hint of composure he had before is gone as the heat climbs up his neck, a flush spreading across his cheeks. “just uh- just ignore top he’s drunk.” rafe excuses, stuttering in embarrassment.

MASTERLIST

“call- call her right now” rafe’s voice is faint but recognizable through the phone five seconds after topper called you in the middle of the night. “dude she’s already on the call.” topper replies, followed by a loud shuffling noise as rafe harshly grabs the phone from him, losing balance and almost falling off the couch while doing so.

“heyyy..come to the party i wanna see you.” rafe slurs out. you roll your eyes, running your fingers through your hair in frustration. “are you kidding me? it’s 2am rafe. you guys woke me up im not going anywhere.” you reply in annoyance.

you hear the phone being passed around again, until it lands on toppers voice. “please i’m begging you just come pick him up. he’s like fucking high and drunk as shit and he says he won’t stop drinking until you come-”

“don’t fuckin’ tell her that” you hear rafe interrupt.

“dude shut up you’re seriously so fucked.” topper responds, “anyways please come just pull up for a second.” he begs. “topper i’m not going to your house at 2am i have to wake up early tomorrow. just tell rafe to snap out of it he’ll be fine.”

“he’s literally pouting as you say that right now.” topper says, glancing to his side where rafe is sitting there half slumped attentively trying to listen to your voice.

“wha-what’s she sayin’? is she coming?” you hear on the line, clawing your heart slightly at how desperate he sounds. “she said she’s not coming bro” you hear topper reply.

“oh my god fine i’ll come. just stop him from drinking or getting high or whatever the fuck he’s doing. ill leave now.” you reply, gaining a sigh of relief from topper.

when you reach the house the thumping music already starts to hurt your head. people greet you on your way in, not forgetting to mention something about how “rafe hasn’t stopped talking about you” and that “he’s been looking for you this whole time.”

you move through the busy, sweaty crowd looking for the familiar figure. when you finally find him, he spots you from across the room and immediately tries to stand up opening his arms widely. his intoxication however leads him to stumble and lose balance as topper helps him up, shaking his head in irritation. “thanks for coming seriously i owe you one-” topper starts but gets interrupted by rafe’s slurred voice saying “ohhhh my god you’re here..i missed you so bad.”

rafe wraps his arms around your waist, giving you a sloppy kiss on your cheek to which you freeze, taken aback. topper and kelce look just as confused as you, asking “since when does rafe cameron kiss you? you guys a thing or what?” you respond shaking your head which is now buried deep in his chest, saying “since never? we’re not a thing he’s just drunk.”

after saying your byes you attempt to drag rafe through the crowd but it’s hard when other drunk people who are unaware of their surroundings keep bumping into you. “nobody touch my girl i’ll fuckin’ kill you” rafe inaudibly shouts to some guy next to you as you whisper, “rafe please shut up it’s embarrassing.”

the car ride home is unexpectedly silent. you occasionally glance over at rafe who sits there sloppily, pupils blown wide and eyes half lidded. “you okay?” you ask. “i’m okay baby.” he smiles, turning his droopy head towards you. “why are you calling me that? and that kiss earlier? what’s up with you?” you question, a bit frustrated.

“but you are my baby.” he mutters under his breath. “no i’m not rafe, we’re just friends. and you’ve literally never said that before today.”

“so what? i can’t- i can’t call you shit now?” rafe argues.

“you sure you’re not just horny? no offense rafe but you usually never call me when you’re drunk because you’re too busy fucking some random girl.”

your statement makes rafe’s eyebrows knit and you can see the pure offense on his face. “wow okay.” he goes silent. “look i didnt mean it like that,” you start, trying to keep your eyes on the road and focus on driving. “i’m just confused on why you’re all of a sudden acting like we’re dating.”

rafe opens his mouth to say something, but then hesitates and closes it again. when you finally arrive at his house, you quickly get out of the car and walk around, opening the passenger side door to which he immediately leans into you. you help him out of the car, one of his arms over your shoulder as you quietly bring him upstairs to his room.

rafe immediately flops on the bed, lying on his back as he opens both arms urging you to join. “please i need you.” he whispers. you can feel your face reddening as you slowly walk over, gently sitting down on the bed next to his figure. he drags your body down, engulfing you into his embrace. his skin radiates warmth, flushed from the alcohol and you can almost smell his cologne buried in the scent of weed.

you look up at his face noticing how he’s sloppily smiling as he looks back at you, hair all ruffled up. you almost miss the way his pupils dialate as he watches you run your fingers through it. “you’re so fuckin’ pretty.” he says.

you stay silent as you convince yourself it’s just the alcohol and drugs talking, not him. “rafe don’t say stuff like that.” you quietly respond. “why not? it’s true.” he says, half lidded eyes never once leaving your face. “you just- you can’t. we’re not like that.”

you sit up slightly from your position attempting to snap back into your thoughts. “let me go pick out some fresh clothes for you, you can take a warm shower and clean up. how about that?” you ask. “no, not yet.” he says, pulling you back down onto the bed next to him. your face flushes when you notice how close it is to his.

“it wasn’t a question-” you say, but you get cut off by his lips crashing into yours. his tongue grazes along your bottom lip as if he’s asking for permission. you freeze for a second before letting his tongue slip into your mouth as you gently kiss him back; he cups your cheek with his palm, his thumb slowly stroking your cheek up and down.

you can taste the alcohol from him, bringing you back to reality as you pull away.

“rafe you’re drunk. we shouldn’t be doing this-”

“i’m so in love with you.” he admits. your eyes go wide as you shake your head.

“that’s not even funny rafe. don’t say shit like that when you’re not sober.”

the words hang between you, swallowed by the silence. his expression falters for just a second like he’s searching for the right words but coming up empty.

MASTERLIST

everyone knew rafe was madly in love with you ever since you guys had become inseparable at the ripe age of 14. well, except for you. people would always ask why someone so loving and kind as you would ever put up with rafe and his violent, cruel behavior. the truth was, he never acted that way in front of you. rafe had perfected his innocent act whenever he was around you, and did everything in his power to keep it up. he couldn’t bear the thought of you looking at him like everyone else did, especially when he was so in love with you that he could drop to his knees anytime you talked to him.

that naturally led to you being extremely confused every time someone asked something along the lines of, “he’s so dangerous, you really shouldn’t be hanging around him” or “rafe cameron is bad news.” you would just furrow your eyebrows and respond, “but he’s so nice.”

so it definitely wasn’t pretty when he got caught red handed as you walked in on him and his friends holding JJ by his neck, just about to lunge at him.

“hold him still. what- what do you think? a four iron, right?” rafe’s voice booms through the halls of midsummers, and your face brightens as you finally find him. however as you walk towards the noise, your heart drops as you realize rafe is not actually talking about golf. “alright keep his head still. ‘m gonna line this up.”

“very rafe of you rafe, five on one?” JJ chokes out. “okay if you could please stop talking? it’s very disrespectful when i’m trying to hit a ball alright? learn your etiquette my friend.” you quickly rush in, gasping at the sight of kelce choking JJ and rafe acting as if he’s about to swing. “what the hell is going on?” you let out. rafe’s face immediately drops as he stands up straight, awkwardly clearing his throat as the room goes silent.

“nothing- nothing is going on here okay? this is not what it looks like, JJ here just needed a little guidance on the way out.” rafe says. you turn to look at JJ, who is pleading with his eyes, cuts all over his face. “kelce what the fuck? let him go.” you say, walking over and yanking kelce’s arm off of JJ.

“rafe, seriously. what is this? what are you doing?” you ask, still confused on what you just walked in on. you turn to JJ, leaning down to where his head is hanging low. “are you okay?” rafe’s jaw clenches at the sight of you with him, shaking his head letting out a small “jesus christ he’s fuckin’ fine.” to himself. JJ just gives you a quick smile, whispering “i’m alright i’m fine.”

you walk up to rafe who’s avoiding your eye contact. “you’re out of your mind” you scoff, “you guys are all fucked up.” rafe laughs at the comment, getting overtaken by anger as his facade starts to slip. “out of my mind? OUT OF MY MIND? you’re seriously defending this pogue piece of shit? over- over me?” his voice starts to get louder. “rafe, man chill-” some kook says beside him.

security bursts through the door at that moment, JJ saying something about a ‘criminal trespass’ and how he should be escorted out. you don’t process what’s happening as your mind starts to race, thinking of what would have happened if you didn’t walk in. memories come flooding in of everyone who had ever warned you about rafe.

rafe seemed to have snapped back into his thoughts, as he walked towards you lifting both arms up in ‘surrender.’ “look. how ‘bout we forget what just happened and go back to the party, yeah? i’ll go get us some drinks-” he starts, but you cut him off saying, “no, rafe. tell me what you were doing to JJ before i came in. why are you acting like this? you never do this.” you say as the guys next to you laugh in pure disbelief about how clueless you are of his actions. it makes you feel stupid.

“i wasn’t doing anything, baby. you believe me right? i wouldn’t lie to you. now cmon let’s go enjoy the party.” you scoff at his blatant lie, grabbing his hand and dragging him to a nearby balcony where it’s now just the two of you. “why were those guys laughing when i said that? is this what it’s about? how everyone keeps telling me that you’re-”

“it doesn’t matter what everyone tells you, i-i treat you well don’t i? tonight was just a mistake and you should have never been there-” he rambles, starting to panic at your persistence. “and if i wasn’t? then what would have happened?” you argue.

“nothing- nothing would have happened.” he rubs his palms against his forehead, clearly stressed out. “it just feels like you’re hiding something from me. like everyone else knows something i don’t and they think i’m stupid.”

“who said you’re stupid? you’re not fuckin’ stupid- who the fuck said that to you?” rafe’s blood starts to boil again at the thought of someone belittling you like that over him. “that doesn’t matter, rafe. what matters is you telling me the truth. which you’re not doing.” you cross your arms.

“i am telling you the truth.”

“you swear?”

“i promise.”

MASTERLIST

“you don’t get to fuckin’ talk to me like that, do you understand?” rafe yells grabbing your wrist harshly. “rafe calm down please, you’re driving.” you say calmly but he violently swerves on the road. he lets out a sarcastic laugh, shaking his head. “yeah i don’t think you fucking understand. i told you, all these guys want to do is take you home and fuck you. and you just fuckin’ sit there, giggling. you- you think that i’m- im some kind joke? is that what you think?”

you shake your head, rolling your eyes getting annoyed at his possessiveness. “jesus fuck rafe i told them i have a boyfriend. stop being so fucking insecure and drive me home.” rafe clenches his jaw, knuckles white on the steering wheel. he unlocks the car and abruptly stops driving.

“get the fuck out. you’re walking home.” your eyes widen. “you can’t do that rafe, i’m sorry okay? don’t fucking kick me out” he shakes his head once again, sticking his tongue against his cheek. “you don’t get to say sorry now. should’ve thought about that before you decided to act like a bitch.” he gets out from the car, walking over to your side and opening the door harshly. “get the fuck out of my car.”

your eyes start to well up with tears. “i’m not getting out rafe. please it’s so dark outside and my phone is about to die-” he doesn’t even let you finish your sentence as he yanks your arm, throwing your body out of the car. “i’ll talk to you at home.” he says, walking back to his seat, starting the car again. he doesn’t even look back at you once before driving off into the dark, leaving you on the ground with nothing but a phone on 3 percent.

you scramble to grab your phone, calling rafe. it goes straight to voice mail, over and over again. your fingers tremble with the phone from the adrenaline of the fight. you stand up from the pavement, now searching for your friends number but your phone dies. “fuck fuck fuck…” you mutter underneath your breath.

inside his car two miles away, rafe sits parked at a red light. his phone buzzes again. and again. he glances down every time it rings, a pang of guilt in his chest seeing your name pop up repeatedly on the screen. but he ignores the calls and drives straight ahead. thirty minutes pass and you’re still walking on the dark road, not even sure if you’re going the right direction. meanwhile rafe reaches tannyhill, expecting you to come walking home soon after having ‘learnt your lesson.’

twenty more minutes pass by. and then another thirty. rafe paces around the living room, checking his phone every thirty seconds. you were supposed to be home by now, apologizing and him giving you a kiss telling you ‘that’s what happens if you don’t listen’ and that he ‘only wants the best for you.’ but instead you’re nowhere to be seen.

he sits on the couch, elbows on his knees staring at his phone screen. his mind races of thoughts of what could have happened to you, panic starting to rise in his chest. his breaths get quicker and his hands start to shake, every possible scenario flicking through his mind. “SHIT!” he shouts, his voice echoing through the empty house. he grabs his phone and starts dialing your number but each call drops. his chest tightens and the anger from before is replaced by clawing fear.

he’s on his feet again in seconds, scrambling to grab his keys off the counter. he leaves the house not even locking the door behind him. rafe tears out of the driveway, tires screeching against the concrete. his hands shake on the wheel as he drives back towards where he kicked you out, heart pounding in his chest. “please..please just fucking be here” he whispers to himself, but theres no sign of you anywhere. he jumps out the car, frantically looking around the area. “fuck. FUCK!” he yells, voice cracking with panic and guilt.

he rushes back in the car and starts driving immediately, searching every alley and driveway. he yells your name for what feels like a thousand times before he spots some lady walking down the street. “excuse me have you seen a girl around here-” he rambles, frantically describing your features. the woman only shakes her head, walking away like he’s insane. “useless fuck.” he mutters, getting out of the car and searching for you on his feet.

after about fifteen minutes of him running around the neighborhood, he spots you walking, shoulders shaking as you cry silently. he runs over to you, embracing you in his arms so tightly before you even process what’s happening. “where the fuck were you? i’ve been looking for you everywhere you had me worried sick baby.” he whispers to you, pulling back from the hug to examine your face. you look towards the ground, pushing him away. “no- no fuck you.” you let out.

MASTERLIST

rafe’s voice echoed through the house as he unknowingly thud down the stairs. “wheezie, seriously- what the fuck did i say about having people over.. it’s fuckin’ 9 in the morning.” his eyes widen slightly when he finally sees you in the kitchen next to wheezie, baking a batch of chocolate chip cookies.

“uh.. hey sorry i didn’t-” rafe stumbles on his words as wheezie snorts, clearly amused. she had caught onto rafe’s crush on you ever since you first babysat her a few months ago. but for whatever reason, rafe had become more and more awkward with you as time went by. “yeah? what about having people over?” she teases as you mix the dough cluelessly next to her.

“shut ur mouth” he quickly mouths to her when you’re not looking. rafe leans against the kitchen counter, trying way too hard to look casual. “uh…smells good.” he coughs out. “thanks rafe. hopefully i don’t burn them like last time” you joke. he responds with a short laugh as he scratches the back of his head awkwardly.

“jeez rafe did you forget how to socialize? or is it just because you have a big fat crush on-” rafe rushes over to wheezie, clamping his hand over her mouth before she can say anything more. “ignore her. she gets a little crazy in the morning” he says, wheezie slapping his hand away from her face.

“i do not get crazy in the morning. i don’t even know why i need a babysitter, i mean im 14. no offense by the way” she says turning to you. “none taken” you smile. “i just know it’s because rose hates me and doesn’t want me to have freedom” wheezie says as she rolls her eyes. “but it’s fine, rafe really likes having you around anyways.”

your cheeks turn pink as your eyebrows furrow in confusion. “huh? what does that even mean?” you look up at rafe, who is now shooting daggers at wheezie and whispering something underneath his breath. “she just means that uh- that-” he gets cut off by wheezie who just can’t hold it in anymore. “i mean that rafe has a huge crush on you.” your eyes widen as you look over at rafe who stands with his face buried in his palms. you can see how red his face is through his fingers.

“i- i gotta go. topper n kelce are waiting for me at the country club” he quickly replies, grabbing his car keys off the counter and heading to the door. “wheezie im gonna fuckin kill you later” he says as he gives you a awkward smile and closes the door behind him.