Poems

I do not live for beauty nor for faking a smile out loud I won’t cry but in silence   and my mind is not pretty and I am not beauty but I won’t live for me either   come to my silence and join my river   you should let your voice echo I promise you I’ll fall in love this time but don’t be beauty I don’t live for that

You’re angry, I know. This silence hurts me, the words are stuck but don’t matter after all because you’re angry and won’t listen.

A sudden hatred for myself, realizing what I am broken by the voice of silence and barely remembering your words. I miss you and it hurts me; you left me and that’s killing. Where are you and what are you thinking? Are you sad that I exist? You love me and I know it but feeling’s not a choice; in your embrace I will believe you but here alone I am confused. What do I want? The same as you? I would never let you go and I guess you wouldn’t either but how am I enough?

her hands hold their face she wipes some tears away but fails to stop their waterfall   they can’t explain in words where the river’s coming from but it’s getting to her   and down her cheeks it goes but her hands won’t let them go and they almost drown together

“I want you close to me.”   That’s not enough – I mean that I want us to touch; and rather I would drown in your embrace to get rid of all my thinking. In any distance there is freedom for my thoughts to take place and if we give those enough time I will change to self-destruction.   But you need freedom and I now sit here thinking and asking myself how I’ll ever be happy.

Sunlight rains at the city – our city in this moment; we’re walking down the streets holding hands.   I count the stair steps, you’re telling me a story and whatever story it is I feel happy.

Slowly I open up; my eyes are closing and I fall to you.   And even when I lay on your lap or lean on your shoulder I feel like I’m still falling.   And sometimes falling feels nice and I’m falling gently further; maybe our hearts will meet.

Your words fight my eyes; you long for a tsunami. I try, and try, and keep it up and feel hate for your lips and tongue.   Your sound may kill me but you will not see my heart come out.   At this point I am a statue and I will keep it up until you leave.

Flying faster forward my feathered thoughts fight for freedom;   my fingernails fade thinking of floating through air then failing to find a way and forced to fit in.

twisted   she ran away from me without a word adding to a broken smile   she loved me maybe she couldn’t   my smile is more broken than ever still breaking somehow lingers   I shouldn’t ask why she didn’t stay but I kept her mind here   I shouldn’t ask why since my smile isn’t whole answers lack   “do not fill in what you don’t know”   stop wondering my smile’s not gone but she is

black fingernails red eyes lipstick on her face good thing her mascara is waterproof beer stains on her jeans the high heels hurt under her t-shirt is nothing left she’ll never be home

a knife rains down on my hand the ink slips away from me blood flows into the paper forms a language i don’t understand   i cry for once i cry out loud and lose my words to the air for once i am a bit like you

In my dreams you die. In the daylight I watch birds gliding through the sky. How many times is it the same bird that catches my eye? Let me be distracted; this is what I want to wonder about – not you. (Why did you die?)

The balance of existence There is an always and a never and not an answer to every question, not a solution to the problem of time. Always and never are the kind of lovers that ask each other why they’re alive, and why they don’t consume themselves. Never is what time adores and always does time go on, time is as empty as their love. They’re aching and always growing old but never can it stop, and thus, we wait.