Hello!

And then when Shane brings him home, he doesn’t realize that “he’s still pretty young, so he has some growing left to do” means that this cat will get about as tall as a small child in about a year?

But then Chester doesn’t just do “some growing”; he does a lot of growing. Over the next two years. He just keeps getting bigger.

yeah lol

in my head, cheddar is about two when shane gets him, so he's still got more growing to do.

In other words, I think Shane is hiring a cat sitter when he's away.

oh shane absolutely would be hiring a cat sitter normally (and paying them extra to come over and Exist Around Cheddar ahead of time to make sure cheddar is comfy around them), but shane going out of town also means hayden is out of town and jackie WILL be getting a break while solo parenting by using the rules of needing to be quiet for cheddar.

shane brings up hiring a cat sitter so jackie doesn't need to stop by, and jackie looks at him like he's lost his fucking mind. you want to deprive her of the ability to have her kids be almost SILENT for an hour while also wearing themselves out dragging toys around for cheddar?? the twins had a "no baths" phase until she took them over and let cheddar take a bath with them so they would just get in the fucking tub.

reblogging with my own tags despite my original assertion because i am laughing at the way ilya would be SEETHING during a hook-up during the afterglow when shane checks his phone and smiles slightly before typing something back and putting it down. and what he got was a picture of cheddar being goofy and having Crazy Eyes while clinging to the top of his ceiling-height climbing pole, but what ilya sees is shane smiling at his phone and what ilya then hears when he asks about this is, "it was just paul checking in."

so when shane takes a call from paul in ilya's presence, his tone is fond because he's talking about cheddar, but all ilya hears is very warm, affectionate french being spoken to fucking!! paul!!!!!

@queenofshenanigans

GOD

in my head originally paul was a vet tech who was cat sitting as a side hustle because the money in veterinary medicine is. not great. and the situation with cheddar was great because this one gig means he doesn't need to take any others because he is paid handsomely to be on the job so often.

BUT

I am now CACKLING imagining that paul was actually a professor in the class yuna and david first met in, and they actually ended up staying very close with him after graduating (he taught a capstone so very small class and lots of office hours) (which is also how yuna and david first started lowkey flirting while "debating" theses for their papers), so paul ends up being a family friend shane has grown up knowing, which is perfect because shane can trust he's not going to sell anything to papers about him, and he doesn't mind having him in his house when he's not there. paul and his wife miranda are both still professors, but his arthritis means going on digs with miranda or traveling for conferences isn't as comfortable anymore, so watching cheddar is also nice because it means he gets someone to hang out with when his wife is out of town. (when she's home, she sometimes comes along, but cheddar enjoys hanging out and purring on paul's lap while he works on his research).

what this means vis a vis miscommunication, though, is that shane gets texts from his mom that ilya asks about because shane rolled his eyes before sending a message to someone else, and the answer is, "my mom just wanted to make sure i invited paul to come along to dinner the next time they're in montreal."

ilya is FURIOUS

paul KNOWS SHANE'S PARENTS???

amd getS TO GO TO DINNER WITH THEM??

Horizontal Ilya? yeah, he'll come snuggle. sure thing. nice and warm. good for purring and making biscuits that make ilya wince because claws on bare chest.

the second he's standing, though?

cheddar is GONE.

STRANGER DANGER. HE NO LONGER KNOWS THIS PERSON.

Alright Tumblr

a) he was the one who wasn’t ready to come out as a couple and it’s important that he is the one who says “I’m ready now” with a grand gesture.

Shane is unequivocally one of the top two professional hockey players out there; arguably the best. The way he reads the game is beyond most professional player's comprehension. He's catching plays before they occur, as though the entire game is on a second's delay apart from him. He's every goalie's sleep paralysis demon. He's a hockey player who hardly ever fights. His checks are legal, his recovery is swift. He's consistently near the bottom of the Penalty Minutes leaderboard. Chirps slide off him, his face stoic and focused, hardly ever engaging with them, instead just absorbing them and channeling them into his gameplay. He's every PR person's dream, giving the occasional soundbite without ever taking it far enough to be considered a liability.

Off the ice, he's never been the most approachable person, hardly anyone gets close to him. People are scared to approach him, purely because of his talent, and he doesn't make it easy for those who try. He goes out with the team sometimes but he never gets drunk. He doesn't sacrifice his performance diet for anyone's comfort. He attends awards and All Stars games but never contributes much to the conversations others attempt to engage him in. He would seem almost haughty if he wasn't so goddamn nice. It seems that, no matter how wide you search, no one has a bad word to say about him beyond him being a little awkward or annoyingly good at hockey.

He's completely untouchable. Hardly human.

So it is an utter and complete fall from grace when he comes out, first as gay, and is then outed as Ilya Rozanov's partner.

I don't have to tell you that hockey culture is essentially synonymous with toxic masculinity in many ways. Within hockey, there is a deeply ingrained system that celebrates violence, stoicism, and aggression; hypermasculinity is the expectation with violence being seen as a sign of manhood. This culture fosters a code of silence, marginalises women and minorities, and anyone who fails to comply with the express expectation of the "correct" way to perform masculinity.

As soon as Shane Hollander is confirmed as gay, every trait that was viewed as admirable, purely on the basis of his raw talent, becomes confirmation of weakness. He never gets drunk because he's a pussy. He's prissy about food. He doesn't talk because he's weird. He doesn't fight because he can't. He can't handle aggression at all so he simply tries to ignore it, to hide from it. He's weak.

It feels like a personal betrayal because they didn't know. They didn't know and it feels like they should have. But they didn't. And they admired him. They looked up to him. They tried to replicate his play style, they commended his control, they wondered if they should adopt his diet but didn't know if they could stick with it. They fucking worshipped him. And a part of them wonders if that says something about them. The fact that they were taken in by this ruse; the fact that they worshipped a gay man. It feels like an attack on their own masculinity. And so men, who never learned to process an emotion other than anger, are suddenly left feeling betrayed and embarrassed. And because having to properly examine that, even for a minute, would mean having to reevaluate their entire worldview it all gets channeled into aggression, which is familiar and safe.

He’s also even more sexually threatening to straight hockey players because they used to think Shane’s male partner was straight. Ilya Rozanov used to be a notorious ladies man. A guy women found attractive, a guy who was known to get a lot of pussy. A guy these straight hockey players probably admired for his ability to charm women.

But Shane Hollander got hold of Rozanov, and somehow he was so seductive that suddenly Rozanov likes dick now. Shane’s straight, insecure Montreal teammates are probably petrified that they might be the next straight guy Hollander manages to “turn”. And they have to shower with Hollander.

In fact, Ilya was actively bisexual long before he even met Shane. He was the one to introduce Shane to gay sex, not the other way around. He was just discreet about it, because being open wasn’t a safe option. Given his family, nationality, and profession. But Shane’s teammates don’t know the details of their relationship or Ilya’s sexual past. They probably assume that somehow Shane “turned” Ilya.

And they’re scared if Shane decides he’s attracted to them (his teammates), he will manage to “turn” them as well. They’re homophobic in part because they’re deeply insecure. They fear Shane could turn them gay if he decided to. And that terrifies them. So he terrifies them.

He is dangerous to their sense of their own masculinity and heterosexuality. The fact that Shane landed Ilya Rozanov is proof (to them) that he could convince anyone to turn gay. If Shane was dating a guy who didn’t have a storied history with women, there would still be a backlash, but I doubt it would be quite as dramatic.

he needs to pull himself together. he doesn't know why he's crying. it's just.

the whole time he's been on the centaurs, it's been really.... white. and it is what it is, he's accepted it. if anything, he's lucky. the other guys on the centaurs aren't assholes to him. guys on other teams say shit, the media says shit, people on twitter love running their mouths because they think no one is watching, but the guys on his team have been good. he knows it's sad to be grateful for that, but he's grateful for that. these guys are his brothers, and he loves them, so much.

it's just really fucking lonely sometimes. he lives in a different world. a world none of them will understand. and he's gotten used to that. it's like a language none of them speak, and it means bood's never allowed to speak it. there are things he can't say. things he has to say differently. everything requires him to explain. and explaining is exhausting most of the time, so he just doesn't bother. he's made peace with this being something he just has to deal with on his own.

and now.... there's someone else. someone who could get it. like, actually get it. maybe hollander would want to get a drink with him sometime. maybe they could talk. he might finally get to talk, and feel a little less like he's navigating a minefield every time he does. hollander's been the poster child for asian hockey players since he was drafted. bood would love to know what he actually thinks about that.