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time to be the most fuckable person at the grocery store ❤️

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the increasingly rare correct hacker news comment
The thing that makes I and other transfems so uncomfortable when TME queers say they are envious of how our bodies are "so transgressive," is that its never about us existing as women in a society trying to deny that.
Its always that our bodies are transgressive because they see it as so at odds and incongruent with femininity. And its often demeaning they way they feel so comfortable talking so openly about our bodies in such a way.
Like there's not much difference in how I feel about a person going:
"Your body is so unlike a real woman's, you look like a certified freak! (Derogatory)"
and
"Your body is so unlike a real woman's, you look like a certified freak! (Affectionate)"
I'm not trying to be a freak that shatters ideas of gender by looking like a shocking incongruent amalgam of masculine and feminine traits. I'm trying to be comfortable as a woman and fighting ideas of gender by being a woman when others tell me I'm not allowed to be.
When someone, fawns over my body in such a way with out giving a damn about who I am it feels almost exactly like I'm just dealing with a garden variety chaser.
sex is toys.
sex is toys.
so I was too tired the other day to really develop this but that is indeed my position on the nature of sex and how it should be weighed socially.
it is an activity that requires all parties to agree to a set of rules, even if they're not super defined and often just how they figure it's supposed to be done from hearing about it. it can be done just to have fun, it can be done to bond, it can be done for work. it also ceases to be play when one person breaks the rules in a way that makes it not fun for any other person.
it's not a big fucking deal. it's people playing. which means that whether you want to have sex or don't or only want to do it with one person ever or with a bunch of people it's literally fine. it's playing. I'm not gonna shame you for how and why you decide to play. I'm not gonna ascribe moral judgements to it.
sex is toys.
One of my hottest transfeminist takes that I have is regarding drag and ballroom actually. Read the whole thing in depth instead of skimming it then getting mad at me.
I think that the US transfemme desire to disown drag/ballroom is a symptom of both white culture’s destruction of ancestral ties and the importance of cultural continuity, and of the predominantly white ignorance of it as a gentrified Black art form similar to how whites treat other Black art. They want a destruction of it because they see the effects and results of the gentrified version and assume that’s all there is/was.
In particular it’s frustrating because while some drag queens are cis, a lot are trans women, non-binary, or otherwise transmisogynized and drag/ballroom and the tipping culture associated with it existed in part because the transmisogynized are so fucking unemployable and it provided/s a method beyond mutual aid for the redistribution of money, through the labor of performance.
In relation to trans women, I view drag queens as a pathway to transness similar to crossdressers, femboys, (unfortunately) sissies, and similar - where although the perception of them currently may cause harm to the perception of trans women at large due to the ways they compromise with predominantly white cishetero society to allow transfemmes to explore their gender, they are, in fact, still functionally people within the spectrum of transfemininity even if they haven’t fully accepted their gender expansiveness for themselves. Harm they cause to the perception of transfemmes does not lessen them from that societal assignment, any less than we can say Caitlyn Jenner, Blair White, or Kelly Cadigan are less trans women because of the harm they’ve done to the perception of trans women. They are all, in effect, varying levels of transmisogynized whether they realize it or not.
When I was in DC I knew a lot of drag kings/queens and literally 95% of them are trans and either came to drag/ballroom as a way to explore their gender through art and/or make money bc poor, or started it and it was a gateway to unlocking their gender. Not counting the cis performers elevated by stuff like RuPaul, who is explicitly transphobic, I think I can count on my hands how many cis performers I’ve met. Hell, even with RuPaul shit a number of drag artists who have been on his shows later come out as trans (such as Bosco, who I literally grew up with), in part because they suppressed their transness publicly to maintain their career until they reached a point the blowback of coming out wound impact them less. Pulling a F1NNSTER to keep cash flowing for survival, if you will.
Iunno like. The earliest Balls we have records of were literally 1880-90s, predominantly Black (the oldest drag/ballroom performer we have records of was a Black trans woman from DC), and was one of the only safe places for trans people to exist as themselves. So I find the idea of writing it off due to a much more recent gentrification and commercialization of it as ignorant as how people often treat other demonizes or commercialized Black art.
“I just don’t like the spectacle it makes of transness and harm it causes-“
Baby all Blackness is spectacle to crackers and An Amount of modern drag is white people doing minstrelsy of all Black women - not in the sense of gender at all but in the sense of race.
Like. A lot of Black culture in the US specifically is Big and Loud *because* of the repression of it we’ve faced and the force towards respectability politics, which has echoed to queer culture because queer culture in the US is made vast majority from Black culture. Our existence is a spectacle so why not make a show out of why they hate us and try to erase us so that they can’t get rid of even more.
Hating “the spectacle” of an actual performance art form is solidly rooted in white supremacy and white cultural notions of propriety/respectability. Many aspects of “spectacle” seen in drag are directly taken from Ballroom or adapted from it/vogueing.
In summary: traditions are meant to change with situational, cultural, and environmental need but still be sustained as part of a culture. Gentrification is a poison to this that makes it harder for those the culture belongs to to practice it as it should. White ancestral shame is a poison that makes them think they should nuke everything historic/cultural that makes them uncomfortable regardless of whether it’s theirs or whether it’s something they stole and gentrified. Also yeag like,,, it’s a job/gig income predominantly for societal “undesirables” to make money when they’re under/unemployed due to marginalization. And it’s also been gentrified to *gestures at RuPaul, et al.*
No matter what you think about drag or ballroom, poor predominantly racialized trans folks still gon be doing it because it is part of our culture no matter what tv shows and big names and people who have only seen those do to it, and it’s always going to be seen as one of the “disreputable” pathways to transness that makes other trans people look down on them because of the complicated ties to transmisogyny, because until someone publicly says the words “Im also a trans woman”, WE also view them as a personification of what we fear the world sees us as—a man in a dress—rather than an egg finding their way to gender in a way we deem unacceptable because it doesn’t align with how we think it “should” be done.
And I think that’s on us honestly, not on them. If we say it can take as long or as quickly and as easily or messily for someone to sort out their gender as needed, this also has to be extended to the transmisogynized we view as “disreputable” regardless of if/when they reach a conclusion we deem acceptable or whether they die in the shell, never able to remove their masks fully.
Aight yall gon head and eviscerate me now
Also as a clarification, I am not saying that you, personally, must enjoy/like/do drag or ballroom. Im saying that drag, crossies, sissies, femboys, etc. are all transmisogyny paradoxes because of the way they interface gender exploration with surviving doing so in a transmisogynistic system by compromising for safety or a degree of acceptance within spaces they’ve found accept it.
Like, as an example, I *hate* sissies because of the racism endemic to sissy culture, but I still recognize they’re transmisogynized regardless of the harm they do or the disgust I feel towards them.
I also had someone comment on it as a facet of US cultural imperialism, of which I do want to note - drag/ballroom based on Black origins was spreading outside the US back in the 1800s/early 1900s too, there’s photos from other countries of balls explicitly influenced by Black Balls mainly started by Black folks in said countries, an example being early 1900s photos from France of both transmasculine and transfeminine Black people. While modern gentrified drag is 100% exported as part of US cultural imperialism, its original spreads outside of the US were via Black diaspora in-culture. I honestly couldn’t tell you definitively where it stuck and where it didn’t from that original wave, but it’s important to know it existed that way.
I have some physical books on this I might see if I can add to the archive tbh, if I can I’ll reblog this again with links.

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Me, two glasses of wine in: "yeah so here's an in depth conversation about my identity as a nonbinary person, and my struggles with transphobia in 2023"
Median Center-Right American Dude at the party, also two drinks in: "Damn that's crazy, I never thought of it like that. Man, I'm sorry you gotta deal with this shit."
Me: "Ahh it's alright. I deal."
Random Guy: "People should just chill tf out."
Me: "Damn right"
Random Guy: "So if you're non binary, and, sorry if this is offensive but I don't know the right words here. Like, is it cross dressing for you if you wear a skirt?"
Me: "Its- hm. Huh. I have no idea."
Guy: "It must have been nice to go to school with other trans people. Like, you must've felt safe."
Me: "No actually it was the opposite. It just made me even more upset and confused. I didn't know what being non-binary was. I saw people that transitioned from one gender to the other and knew I wasn't that. It took me a long time to figure this shit out."
Guy: "man that sounds rough. No wonder you guys are upset all this time this sounds painful."
Me: "Well, it sucks until it suddenly doesn't. It sucks and then it rules hard."
Guy: "so It's like working out."
Me: [both of us are now nodding wisely] "it's like working out."
Guy who has only ever played undertale seeing a skeleton for the first time: "holy shit"
feeling beautiful and wanna go out but i’ve got nobody to go out with :/

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reblog this to be an annoying faggot at ur followers
i wish there was more it/its positivity that wasn't just "hell yeah look at you go funky little goblins/otherwordly beings/freaks/objects"
this is really important actually i wanted to link one of my fav tweets on this subject :>
girlbulge is such a choice look i really wish it was more normalized
No offense to the droves of nsfw blogs reblogging this, but this was actually not meant to be a horny post. Let trans women exist in public spaces in their natural bodies without having to tuck or take other uncomfortable measures. I deserve to be able to wear tight clothes or go to the beach without having to be uncomfortable or in straight up pain from tucking just because some fragile cis people might think it’s some kind of perverted sexual display if there’s any sign of a bulge. So again, girlbulge is a choice look and I really wish it was more normalized and not seen as something inherently sexual, because it’s literally just how our bodies look in certain clothes.
got my first terf shitstain in the notes throwing a tantrum about this which is part of why i think it’s so important to normalize it. people being driven to seething rage at the mere thought of having to see a little bump under someone’s clothing is not fucking healthy! trans people deserve better than to be treated that way! i should be able to safely wear what i want without having to worry that my body is gonna send someone into a complete fucking rage!
Girls with big breasts 🤝 Girls with bulge
Being sexualized for having a body
the highest recorded wet bulb temperatures in the world occur in india, jsyk. in odisha, they’ve hit 34.6 degrees celsius. the human survivability limit is 35 degrees celsius but the body faces significant risks, potentially fatal risks, even at 30 degrees as it starts failing to cool itself, like i’m talking organ failure levels of risk. climate change isn’t coming to peak, it’s been in the global south where you can’t see it or feel it.

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Come to think of it, it really is insane that my entire country is burning alive and literally no one in the rest of the world cares. Thousands of Indians are dying every day from the heat, it's 45+ degrees in multiple areas, the government couldn't give two fucks, we're getting severe warnings and red alerts, and not a soul outside of South Asia is speaking about it because why would you ever care about brown people
please keep talking about how Becky from Maryland doesn't like the rising gas prices. It's clearly the more pressing issue.
USA folks, that is a consistent temperature range hitting 113°. Death Valley temperatures. In Banda, it hovered between 116°-118° (47°-48° C) for a week straight.
This has been happening all month with little to no international media attention. Here are a few organizations you can check out for resources or to support:
ActionAid India
SEEDS India
GlobalGiving
Raise India (Project Tapan)
no for real like sit over there and drink your little beverage and stay tf out of the way let me cook
Keep me company but stay out of my way. The dream.
ah yes, the cook chair