vi

She starts with her usual. Fingers lingering too long as she passes you a bottle of beer, hands unnecessarily touching your waist as she passes behind you, and her favorite: leaning over your shoulder as Nami’s explaining the route through the next chain of islands, making sure her breath ghosts your cheek, and revelling in the shiver she gets from you in response.

It’s mundane. It’s routine. She’s done this a million times, with hundreds of other people in the month-long honeymoon phase between a stranger telling her she’s the most beautiful woman they’ve ever seen, and the inevitable crash and burn as they realize she’s not who they think she is, that she’s more than just a warm body. She’s almost counting down the days until you pull away.

But then, she forgets she’s on a crew. Forgets that you’re going to be with her for the long haul. Forgets, most importantly, that she can be seen.

Sanji is not blind, nor stupid. He knows that sickly sweet sugar high of being adored, even venerated, that you take and take and take, then quit while you’re ahead. He’s played the game, he knows the patterns, and he hates that he can see it happening right in front of his eyes. But that’s not what makes his stomach churn.

What makes his stomach churn is that he knows this is different. This is not some month long fling. It stopped being a month long fling ages ago, and yet Robin is still treating it that way.

She’s still performing, still waiting for you to crack, for you to say that you’re done with the act, that all you wanted was to sleep with her, because the self satisfaction of knowing she was right all along would confirm all those beliefs within her. That she’s more palatable in doses, because love was a concept so distant from her that she’s already deemed herself unworthy of it despite never knowing it.

She thinks she’s throwing you off. But you preen for the touches that she rarely gives, do errands on her behalf even when it nearly doubles your workload, and sit with her as she rambles on and on about her Poneglyph theories even when all she’s trying to do is get you to sleep or to leave. But you’re still there.

Sanji doesn’t know why it’s taking her so long to see it, and at a certain point he’s no longer able to contain himself, his eyes trained on the perfume gift set you’d just gotten her that same day.

“You’re being cruel.” he says, crossing his arms in the dim light of the kitchen just after sunset. The rest of the crew are outside, enjoying their dinner on the beach, oblivious to the conversation happening on the Sunny.

Robin taps her fingers against the dinner table, trying to keep her calm façade as her eyes try to burn holes into each of the perfume bottles. Her gaze flicks up to Sanji’s as she clears her throat, “No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.” Robin scoffs, pushing off of the table to stand up herself. “You are, and you know it.”

Sanji continues, gesturing towards the kitchen door. “She’s not just infatuated with you anymore and I don’t think you seem to understand that.”

“She’ll get over it, just wait and see.” Robin says, and even Sanji catches how much of a half hearted response it is.

He huffs, annoyed.

“Come on, we both know you don’t even believe what you’re saying.”

Before Robin can get another word in, he cuts in again, brow furrowing. “What the hell are you even waiting around for anyway? Until where are you willing to take this?”

Robin squints, and Sanji immediately knows he’s hit a nerve. She leans forward into his space. “They’re all the same.” Sanji almost rolls his eyes.

“Robin, you can’t be serious.” As soon as he sees her eyes flare, he knows he’s fucked it up.

“You want serious?” She says, and leans in even closer, making him back up against the wall, and he’s regretting this conversation already.

“Then fine.” She spits. “Watch what happens when she finally gets a taste of me.” At this, Robin turns around and immediately walks out. “She’ll toss me aside like a ragdoll, and then you’ll see that I’m right.”

Sanji doesn’t even bother following her, and just watches helplessly as the kitchen door swings wildly and slams shut on her way out, while Robin tried to fight the nausea rising at the back of her throat.

That night, you’re in the library, unwinding peacefully after dinner until she slams the door open. You grin at the welcome intrusion, sitting up properly from your relaxed slump to greet her.

“Hey, Robin,” You said excitedly. “I was just reading that book you recommended to me-” You can barely get the sentence out before she cuts you off, impatient.

“You can stop pretending now.” She huffs.

You blink.

“What?” You blurt, and for a second she looks hesitant, but suddenly her face contorts into a grimace.

She grabs your face and kisses you, and for a second your heart flutters, but you frown as soon as you realize it’s nothing like anything you ever imagined a kiss with her to be. You're taken aback by how mean it feels. She pushes into your mouth cruelly, claiming without even caring to let you respond. You gasp into the kiss but she just keeps going, and you furrow your brows, letting go of the book to claw at her shoulders.

“Robin-” You say, breathless.

“Robin, what-” You finally manage to push her away, about to question her until you see tears forming in her eyes.

She huffs. “You can stop whatever this simpering bullshit is now, okay?” She says, distraught. “I don’t need to be impressed like a fucking bird if all you want is to have sex with me.”

Before you can even reply, she starts shucking her clothes off, almost disgusted with herself.

Your brows furrow again. “When did I ever-” You can’t even respond properly. It hurts.

You grab her arm. “Why would you think that I just wanted your body?”

“Come on,” She spits, thrashing against your grip. “Stop pretending. I know that look on your face, I’ve seen it all before. You aren’t the first, I was just wondering how long it would take for you to say it.” The bluntness of her words makes your gut twist.

You want to be mad.

But you force down the bitterness gathering at the back of your throat, and your hands grasp hers again to stop her actions. What would be the use of yelling now?

“Do you think I'd spend hours with you every night in this library because I wanted sex?” Your voice breaks halfway through the sentence. Robin opens her mouth, but you don’t even let her reply, your hands hastily tugging her clothes back on as tears form in your own eyes.

“Do you think I’d buy you four different perfumes to match each of the fucking seasons on the stupid Grand Line just because I wanted to get in your pants?” You wipe the tears from your eyes as they threaten to spill. Robin watches wordlessly as you fix her clothes back into place with shaking hands.

“Fuck,” You let out a dry laugh at the absurdity of it all, “Even Sanji only uses one all year round, the four I got you were expensive as hell- but I got them because each of them remind me of you.”

The sight of you on the verge of tears makes Robin’s knees go weak, and she crumples to the floor with her head in her hands. You slide down with her, rubbing soothing circles into her shoulders as she cries.

Seeing her like this makes your heart break. The words bubble up inside you, and you decide to take a deep breath and just let them spill over.

“I,” You gulp. “I take my night watch with you because I love when you tell me about the stars.”

Robin ducks her head even lower. You can see the tears streaming down her face, and your throat starts to constrict as you fight through your own tears, because you have to tell her this now. It was stupid of you to wait this long.

“I always partner up with you on shopping trips,” You say between sniffles, the soothing circles you’re drawing into her arms growing erratic as you try to contain yourself. “Even when I know it’s just to visit the library- because I love how focused you get on your research.” Robin shakes her head at this, brows furrowing, and your hand itches with the urge to lift her chin just to try to get her to look at you.

She doesn’t meet your gaze, and you consider calling her name again, but you decide not to force it, letting the tension ease out of her first.

You stay like that for a while, just breathing into the space between you, your breaths the only sound filling the room for what seems to be ages.

After an agonizing, impossibly long minute, you hear her heave a sigh. You decide to go for broke.

“Robin,” You say softly, “I do the things that I do because I want to.”

Her body locks up, and for a second you’re afraid she’ll lash out at you, but you see her lips tremble as she opens her mouth slowly to speak.

She seems to contemplate what she was about to say, and her mouth closes again.

She sighs.

“How can I be sure of that.” Robin says at last, defeated, and you smile down at her even when you know she can’t see it.

“I’ll show you, if you’ll let me.”

It’s only then that she angles her face up, and you hold your breath as she searches your gaze hesitantly, before giving the slightest nod, her eyes finally locking onto yours.

It’s still hard for Robin to believe you. She’s mulled over all the possibilities, and keeps setting herself up for failure every single time. In her mind, she gives you a week.

She doesn’t expect much. But then you start filling the empty spaces in her life as soon as you’re given permission to, in all the ways she doesn’t expect.

You're immediately by her side at breakfast, lunch and dinner, thighs close enough to touch under the table. As you’re side by side, it’s almost like you have a sixth sense for her. You refill her glass just as she thinks about getting the pitcher. You place a second serving of food on her plate exactly as she’s about to ask Usopp to pass the dish her way.

The next week, as you and Nami are getting ready in your quarters to head out onto a new island, Robin enters the room, clearly looking for something. But before she can even open her mouth to ask either of you anything, you hand a hefty book to her mid-sentence, not even glancing in her direction as Nami replies to whatever you’d just said. Robin stands awkwardly in the middle of the room before swiftly turning on her heel and heading out, the door closing before Nami’s snicker could exit the privacy of your quarters.

A few days after that, as you touch down on another port town, her eyes gleam as she spots a robust coffee machine that looks way too expensive to be taken out to sea, and the next night she catches Franky grumbling about having to babyproof (aka Luffyproof) a glass Royal Belgian Siphon Coffee Maker to be safe on the waves. Sanji, on the other hand, is ecstatic.

The months keep passing, and you don’t change at all. You don’t push, you don’t pry, and instead of growing colder, you seem to only get warmer, so much so that sometimes Robin doesn’t know what to do with herself.

Until one day, in the sweltering heat of the sun, both of you are out on the deck reading on the grass, taking advantage of the natural light.

Hours pass, and at some point Robin doesn’t even register the fact that she’s fallen asleep, but when she wakes up, she notices that she’s lying on something soft. Something hums above her, and fingers card slowly through her hair.

Her breath hitches as she realizes you’d moved her head into your lap, your body protecting her face from the bright glare of the sun as you leaned forward to look closer at your book.

Something hot prickles behind her eyes, and she curses to herself as she realizes she’s about to cry.

You haven’t even realized that she’s awake yet, too focused as you whisper the lines of the book to yourself, your finger moving across each of the words on the page, running your hands through her hair mindlessly.

The softness of your touch undoes her, and after a few seconds you start to hear sniffles coming from underneath you, making you jerk your chin down to check on her.

You panic seeing the tears in her eyes, but before you can even do anything, she reaches a trembling hand out to cradle the back of your neck, and your eyes widen when she brings you down abruptly for a kiss.

The angle is a little awkward, but you don’t even care.

Your hands lift off of the book and you completely lose the page you were just at, but nothing else matters. The soft press of her lips against yours makes you forget about everything else.

You smile into the kiss, laughing against her tear-stained cheeks, and for a second Robin is afraid you’ll probe, seek more, try to deepen it, but it never comes. Something inside of her relaxes. How foolish of her to doubt you, when you’d spent so long proving her wrong.

After a few seconds, she lets go of your neck, and you let out a surprised huff when you see that she’s blushing.

You can’t suppress the smile on your face, and she tries to turn away, embarrassed.

You purse your lips. “Can you do that again?” You ask, timid.

Robin flicks her gaze up shyly, and the newness of it all is overwhelming, her mouth opening and closing without saying a word, unsure.

It's the first time you’ve ever seen her so speechless.

You chuckle into the silence, already straightening up to get back to your reading, happy with what you can get.

“That's okay, thank you Robin,” You start to say, but right as you’re about to return your gaze to the book, a hand shoots out again to press you down into another kiss, a short peck this time, before releasing you just as quickly.

A pause.

You blink.

Robin blinks back up at you, looking worried about your reaction, and the genuine frown on her face makes you stifle a laugh, making her swat your thigh lightly.

“What!” She huffs, pretending to be annoyed, and you know it.

You come down from your giggling, and move a hand down to her face to sweep her hair behind her ear.

“Nothing. You’re sweet.” You say, and you’re close enough that you feel her breath hitch.

You swallow dryly. If there was ever a moment to do it, this would probably be the time.

You take a deep breath in and Robin isn’t sure what you’re about to do for a second, until she sees the sincerity in your gaze, and her eyes widen.

She breathes a sharp inhale as she watches you make the shape of the words before she hears it, and even though she knows what you’re going to say, it doesn’t stop the tears from spilling over as soon as you do.

“I love you.”

It hasn’t been that long since you’ve been turned, but the experience across each of the islands you’d been to was almost uniform. The first week was always the honeymoon phase, with the local townspeople welcoming and touring you around the best spots, feeding you the best food (that you’d inevitably throw up later), their excitement at a new guest enough to stave off feeding for a while. Then the hunger would turn from a dull ache to an incessant itch.

At first, you forced yourself to feed on animals, trying to keep some semblance of humanity in your state. But as soon as the blood hit your tongue, you’d recoil in disgust. It wasn’t just the idea of drinking the blood of animals that scurried around god knows where, but the taste was just unbearable. Bitter and acrid, you had to pinch your nose closed every time just to swallow it down without gagging, but anything was better than nothing.

By the second week on an island, you learned to pick your targets. A drunkard causing trouble, a criminal without family, a good-for-nothing father. They didn’t taste much better, but it didn’t matter. You’d never forgive yourself for killing someone innocent. At least here, you were just taking out the trash.

By the third week, you would feed. The drunkards were the worst, the cheap booze making your head ache, disorienting you halfway through the process and leaving you stumbling all the way back to your room.

There was never any pleasure in feeding.

How could there be, when you depended on it for survival?

Every island was just a stepping stone towards the next one, a neverending cycle that made you curse your maker every night you lay awake.

Once, in a port city’s extensive library, you absentmindedly flipped through books on supernatural creatures. Most of the time they didn’t get it right anyway, but it was worth a shot regardless.

In skimming through a chapter on vampires, a certain paragraph catches your eye.

‘Though normal human blood is the most common and widely available source of nourishment for vampires, its taste varies depending on the lifestyle of the individual.’

Understandable, but not a revolutionary discovery, you thought.

‘Recent studies have found that consuming the blood of Devil Fruit users causes a euphoric high, twice as intense as the blood of even the healthiest of humans.’

Huh.

‘In an experiment over the course of several months, vampire patients reported the experience of feeding on Devil Fruit users as orgasmic, especially when drinking directly from the user, as opposed to drinking an extraction.’

You almost burst out laughing in the middle of the quiet hall. Orgasmic. Really? You closed the book shut, rolling your eyes as you shoved it haphazardly back onto the shelf.

It was hard to believe. You couldn’t imagine feeding on anyone to be anywhere near orgasmic. And secondly, where were they finding people willing to let a vampire feed on them for months? You furrowed your brow as you walked out of the library. It just seemed impossible.

If you weren’t a stranger to being feared, you were definitely a stranger to kindness. Your guard was up the second you boarded the Thousand Sunny, and you didn’t ever intend to drop it. All you needed was a ride to the next island, and its crew were willing to hitch you one for free.

In your mind, that could only mean one thing.

There would be an inevitable catch.

From pirates, no less. Usually, they asked for a fee upfront, but you found yourself short on funds that day, the reminder making you tense as you climbed up onto the ship, slowing your movements deliberately to avoid making your strength obvious.

As soon as your feet hit the deck, your eyes flashed red as you scanned for heartbeats, expecting to find more hiding in the shadows aside from the nine behind you, and surprising yourself when you found absolutely none.

Interesting.

The boisterous laughter of the crew interrupted your thoughts, making you retract your eyes quickly, and you turned around just in time to watch a rubber arm stretch all the way out to wrap around the mast, launching the captain into the sky and tumbling him across the grassy floor. The rest of the crew threw themselves over and onto the deck, completely at ease, some splitting off to enter separate rooms, moving around as if you didn’t exist.

You weren’t sure if you were meant to follow them or if it was a sign to just stay outside, but the sun was beginning to make your skin itch, and you needed to find some shade. Your face had probably contorted into an uncomfortable expression, because in a millisecond the captain appeared right by your side, anchoring his arm to the guardrail beside you as the rest of his body recoiled from the force.

He tilted his head in your direction. “You okay?”

Your mouth opened and closed dumbly like a fish as he waited for a reply. You never really made conversation with other people, much less a pirate.

“Uh, yes.” You cleared your throat, shifting from one foot to another. The itch was starting to hurt a little. He blinked.

“You sure? You can come in for a drink if you want,” He turns to face what you assume to be the kitchen, and waves you over. “The next island’s three days away, Nami says, so you don’t need to wait out here all afternoon, you can stay inside.”

You hesitate, taking advantage of having the captain’s back to you to use your eyes again, tracking the kitchen quickly, checking for signs of an ambush, a spike of adrenaline or heartbeats waiting just behind the door, and again, finding nothing. You let out a surprised huff. All you could sense were calm, relaxed rhythms, one moving around the space, and the rest seated around what seemed to be a table. You retracted your eyes.

The captain turns around to face you again, realizing you haven’t moved from your spot, and before you can even blink, a rubber arm reaches out to grab yours, making you yelp, and yanks you with him towards the kitchen door.

The speed knocks the air out of your lungs, and for a second you’re afraid you’ll both crash through the wall, but at the last second he cushions your fall by inflating himself like a balloon. At this point you’re not sure whether it was the right decision to hitch a ride with this crew or not, if this is their captain.

You take heaving breaths by the door as you try to recover from the whiplash, and the captain pushes into the kitchen, completely unfazed and smiling brightly.

“Hey, Sanji,” He says, pointing a thumb in your direction, “Can you make a tenth lemon iced tea for our guest? She looks parched.”

Sanji turns around from his spot in the kitchen, grabbing something from the open refrigerator, and nods in your direction.

“Already on it, Luffy.” He says through the cigarette between his lips, raising an empty pitcher in response before turning back around to fill it with ice. For a second, you wonder what the blood of a smoker would taste like. Not like you would ever find out anyway.

The captain turns back around to pull you through the threshold of the door, leading you to the dining table while looking concerned. You both settle into your seats, joining two more of his crew, a woman with black hair and a little reindeer sat right beside her, sipping his own cup of iced tea through a pink curly straw.

You don’t get a word out as Luffy squints down at you inquisitively.

“Hey, you look really pale. You sure you’re okay?”

You cough. “Yeah, I just,” You shift in your seat. “I just don’t get that much sun, no worries.”

He seems to squint even harder. “Okay, but just so you know,” He says as he jabs a finger in the reindeer’s direction, “Chopper is our doctor, so whatever it is, you’re in safe hands.”

You glance over at the reindeer, and he perks up at the sound of his name, letting go of the pink straw briefly to salute in your direction. “At your service!” He squeaks. “I can do a quick medical exam if you need anything!” One of his ears twitches as he holds the position into the ensuing silence, and the black haired woman chuckles at his gesture.

He swivels his head around to face her. “Hey, she’s our guest, Robin! I’m just being a good host!” He says, sticking his tongue out, and it would have been funnier if you weren’t hungry and not still feeling the ache of the sunburn on your skin. You watched him hop off the seat as the woman laughed again, dropping off his empty glass into the sink before he pattered out of the kitchen.

It had been a little over two weeks since your last proper meal, and usually by the third week you’d start to get snippy without at least an animal to tide you over. Hopefully the three day journey didn’t stretch out any longer.

You were so lost in your thoughts that you only noticed the sudden appearance of the glass in front of you when Luffy pointed it out.

“You caught us at just the right time,” He says, “Sanji’s summer drinks are the best!”

You swallowed. Usually you were on dry land when you were made to eat or drink. Where would you throw up on a ship that wasn’t overboard?

Your fingers settled around the cool glass, gripping it lightly. You already knew this would taste like cardboard, just like everything else did, so you smiled politely before touching the rim of the glass to your lips, Luffy’s eyes on you as you took a long, convincing sip to make him back off.

He sighed, looking away pensively. “I wish I could taste one of those for the first time. They’re delicious.” He said to no one in particular, oblivious to how you were clearly forcing down a gulp as you settled the glass back down onto the table, and not noticing how Robin watched you out of the corner of her eye.

You cleared your throat. “It was delicious, Sanji, thank you so much.” You said, acknowledging the chef in the back as he washed Chopper’s empty glass, and he smiled in your direction.

Obviously, the drink did not sit well with you at all. From this angle all you could see were the waves crashing against the ship through the guardrail, your head laying against the cool wood as you took deep breaths, fresh off of emptying your stomach into the ocean.

You looked up into the night sky and wondered how much longer you’d have to be at the mercy of their hospitality, if there was even such a phrase.

After a few more moments, you collected yourself, straightening up before turning around, only to bump right into Sanji. Your eyes widened right as you collided, his pack of cigarettes falling onto the floor as a result, and he groaned softly as he knelt down to pick them back up.

The proximity made your eyes flash red for a moment, and you blinked them away quickly, trying to calm yourself. But your mind wandered. He smelled like alcohol and smoke. Would his blood also taste like ash, mixed with the aftertaste of sake? Or maybe mint, if he liked his cigarettes flavored? It would surely taste different to the cheap booze of your usual drunkards.

You backed up quickly, your back meeting the rail. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there-”

He tutted, straightening up himself, taking one cigarette out before stuffing the pack back into his pocket. You could feel your fangs extending still, and tried to force them back in as he fixed himself.

“You know,” He said as he met your eyes, “If you didn’t like the drink, you could have just said so instead of forcing yourself to keep it down.” He fished a lighter out of his pocket as you processed his words, raising it to the tip of the cigarette, making sure it caught the flame before returning it to his pocket just as smoothly.

You opened your mouth to retort something, but decided against it. In the silence, Sanji joined you, leaning against the guardrail beside you as he smoked into the cool night air.

“I’m sorry.” You said, defeated. “I just can’t stomach any drinks right now.”

“Mhm.” He mumbled into the open sea, and you could tell his tone was disbelieving. You weren’t sure what else to say. He turned his head slowly to meet your gaze, his eyes calculating and glinting in the moonlight.

“You’re pale,” He inched closer. “You haven’t stepped foot into the sun since you got on board,” You swallowed. “You haven’t taken a single bite of my food, and.” He said, pointing down towards the waves, “You’ve just thrown up the only drink you’ve had today.”

Your lips were trembling as you pursed them. You waited for the final judgement, but it never came. Sanji turned back to face the sea.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were a vampire.” He took a deep inhale from his cigarette, before facing you again. “But that would be silly, wouldn’t it?” He said, smiling, exhaling smoke that curled around you, before tapping the ash off on the guardrail and tossing the cigarette into the sea.

You couldn’t speak.

He cleared his throat. “Shall we go back?” He said, and you nodded carefully.

The two of you walked back to the other side of the deck, where the rest of the Strawhats were sitting on deck chairs around a small fire, closing out the night. Half of the crew were already mellowing out in their seats. Luffy stirred in his deck chair, piping up as soon as he realized you and Sanji were back.

“Hey, where did you go?” He tilted his head. “You know what, it’s okay, it happens to Zoro too sometimes.” He said, stifling a yawn before laying back down completely, too far gone to keep his head up. Zoro would have retorted if he had the energy, but all he did was scoff in his seat across Luffy, nursing his own lukewarm bottle of sake as he looked up at the starry sky.

You scanned across the remaining faces. Chopper completely tapped out and slumped against an equally tapped out Usopp, Nami’s head laying on Zoro’s shoulder as she slept, and Franky somehow sleeping slouched against the mast. For a second you weren’t sure if Brook was actually asleep in his chair, but after quickly checking his heartbeat with your eyes, and hearing a snore erupt from his reclined body, you realized almost everyone was done for the night.

Except her.

You froze.

Robin watched you and Sanji walk in from her unassuming seat beside Nami, tracked how you scanned over everyone’s sleeping, or half-asleep faces, and smiled when she saw your eyes flash red. You relaxed, right before your eyes landed on her, panicking silently as you forced your eyes to retract.

You couldn’t even stutter out a response before Luffy suddenly sat up, stretching his arms dramatically above his head before settling them on his knees, taking in the scene before him. You stood awkwardly beside Sanji, pinned by Robin’s gaze.

“You guys are still going?” He said, incredulous. “Anyway,” He yawned. “I think I’m done for the night. And the rest probably are too” He started to get up, lightly tapping the rest of the crew awake and watching as they gently stirred.

Luffy turned back to you and Sanji, gesturing to the rest of the deck chairs and the mess of bottles on the grassy floor, smiling slyly. “Well I guess you’re in charge of cleaning up now!” He cackled. Sanji groaned, but before he could say anything, his captain had already booked it halfway to the men’s quarters.

You, on the other hand, weren’t sure what to do. Robin was still looking at you, only moving slightly to make way for the rest of the crew groggily getting up, yawn-stifled goodnights accompanying their exits. Slowly but surely, everyone else had filed out, leaving you, Sanji and Robin around the fire that was slowly burning out.

You settled into your deck chair across Robin, with Sanji sitting in the one at your left. You tucked your legs into your chest, laying your chin atop your knees before sighing.

“You can ask whatever you want.” You say, defeated. No point in arguing with people who own the ship you’re on. The alternative was likely to be death. Better to be a zoo animal than six feet under. Robin sat forward.

“How long has it been since you turned?” The typical questions were fine.

You cleared your throat. “Two years.” Robin’s eyes widened.

“Oh, you’re a young one.” She said, moving to sit even further at the edge of her seat, while Sanji reclined further back into his own deck chair, seeming happy to just listen.

“What do you feed on?” You sighed.

“Has to be humans, animals taste worse, I can only catch the small ones.” You pause. “Not enough for me.” You weren’t even looking at her, eyes flicking everywhere except her face. You could feel your fangs extending. The next question was probably about how often you had to feed, and well, you hoped it would be right about now-

“Do you kill them?” Robin asks almost innocently, and your entire body locks up. For a second you can’t respond, choosing instead to slowly lift your gaze to meet hers. You hear Sanji shift uncomfortably in his seat beside you.

A pause. “I have to. I rarely feed,” You swallow dryly. “So when I do I end up needing more blood.” Robin hums, gaze penetrating deep into your soul, almost. You feel guilty, all of a sudden. “But I never- It’s never someone innocent.” You inhale sharply. “I couldn’t do that. It’s always someone who deserves it.”

Somehow, this makes Robin smile even wider. In the silence, a new puff of smoke curls around you as Sanji lights another cigarette, and for some reason the smell of him makes your eyes turn red, fangs protruding even further. What would he taste like? You jerk your head to the side and clench your eyes shut.

Robin continues. “How would you know if someone deserved it?” You’re so caught up in trying to will the urge away that you barely register her getting up to sit on your other side until the scent of flowers fills your nose, unnervingly close.

Your eyes blink open, and suddenly you’re eye to eye.

She tilts her head. “Would you say that I could deserve it?” Your breath catches, and all of a sudden your mouth starts to water, your fangs start to ache, but you fight against it and quickly stand up, startling the both of them. Sanji sits up, while Robin just watches your face as you stutter through a response.

“I’m sorry, it’s been a while,” You frantically run a hand through your hair, distressed. “I haven’t fed in a while, and I’m- fuck.” Robin looks amused. Sanji looks tense, cigarette nearly burning out between his lips as he tries to gauge where this is going to go. You can control yourself just fine in solitude, but being around warm bodies makes everything even worse.

You run a hand down your face, fingers splayed just enough to reveal one of your deep, blood red eyes. “I’m starving.”

Sanji shifts in his seat, putting out the cigarette to turn his focus towards you two. Robin smiles impossibly wider, and suddenly her right arm reaches out to grab yours, pulling you closer and closer until you’re standing in between her legs, looking down at her as your cheeks heat.

“You know,” she drawls, “I read something in a book once.” She says as she runs her hands up and down your arms. “I read, that if a vampire feeds off of a Devil Fruit user,”

Your breath catches in your throat.

“It feels orgasmic.” She chuckled lightly, before lifting her eyes up to meet yours, laughing again when she sees your shocked face. “Oh, did you read that one too? Naughty girl.” She says, pinching your side lightly, making you yelp.

“Well,” she continued, unfazed by how flustered you already were, “When I turned the page, you know what else it said?” You shook your head, not trusting your words at all. Her hands settled at your hips, before suddenly dragging you down into her lap.

You almost fell over, arms grabbing at Robin’s shoulders as your thighs bracketed hers. You spluttered. “Robin, what-” You couldn’t even continue as you watched her loosen the collar of her shirt, brushing her hair aside for a clear view of the long line of her throat. Your mouth dried up completely.

“The next page said,” She continued as she readjusted in her seat. “The experience was orgasmic even for the person being fed on.” Her eyes glinted, and your breath hitched. She tilted her head again. “Would you like to find out if that’s true?”

You almost forget about Sanji until you hear him choke off to the side, completely surprised, and you try to look up to ask if he’s alright, but your eyes get caught on the way he loosens his own collar, removing his tie to try and ease the pressure on his throat. A completely innocent movement, but the ache in your fangs intensifies as your eyes lock onto his throat, and you lick your lips.

Robin follows your line of sight and stifles a laugh. “Sanji,” she calls, and his eyes flick up immediately to meet hers. “I don’t think I’m the only one she’s hungry for.” His jaw drops open in the ensuing silence, but you can’t even say anything as you feel Robin’s hands guiding your face back to meet her gaze.

She waits expectantly, throat exposed, and you have to reel yourself back in for one last warning. “If you start feeling lightheaded, please push me off, or try to.” You swallow nervously. “If you can’t.” Robin giggles in response, glancing over at Sanji for a second.

She looks back into your eyes. “Trust me, sweetheart, you aren’t the only strong one here.” She says, and you feel a pair of hands sprout from your shoulders to snake around your neck, and you try to ask what Robin’s doing until you feel your breath constrict.

The hands don’t press hard enough to choke, but enough to make your breath hitch and an ungodly low whine leave your throat, making your eyes widen in surprise. Robin inches closer to your face, in awe.

“Your eyes are so beautiful when you’re this desperate.” She says, breath fanning across your lips, and you can feel the honesty in her words, making you squirm in her lap. She tuts, fixing her hair to the side again to reveal the expanse of her throat. “Now, let’s find out.”

You feel surrounded by Robin, her scent, her voice, the erratic rhythm of the adrenaline pumping in her heart, so excited to be fed on that you totally let go. Your head dips down to her throat and you close your eyes as you breathe in obscenely, distantly feeling Robin’s hand land at your nape as a gasp leaves her lips.

You lick a hot stripe up her neck, claiming your feeding ground as you feel her hand scrape at the back of your neck, not giving her time to breathe before you sink your fangs into the thin skin.

Everything goes white. You’ve never felt anything like this before. It’s beyond euphoria. You’re completely overtaken by the sensation of fresh blood flowing into your mouth that you can barely register the long moan coming out of your mouth- or was it Robin’s? As you take and take, clawing at her back to push yourself impossibly deeper into her skin. You can feel the blood spilling from your mouth, drenching her clothes red.

Your hips started moving on their own, sliding deliciously against Robin underneath you and making her grasp at your hips, whether to slow you down or speed you up, you weren’t sure. Why couldn’t feeding always feel like this? Seconds melted into minutes, maybe even hours before you even considered stopping.

Distantly, you felt the hands at your throat tightening, and you almost fought through the feeling, too focused on taking and taking and taking, until you realized what it meant. You quickly sat upright, ripping your mouth from the wound and grasping Robin’s face in your hands, searching her face for any discomfort or pain, and finding the complete opposite.

Robin’s eyes were completely dilated, eyes entirely black, her mouth open on a moan from the raw feeling of you ripping your fangs off of her, and as soon as you tried to check in on her or try to stop the bleeding, she hastily grabs the back of your neck to pull you into a harsh kiss.

Your eyes rolled back into your head. The floaty haze of feeding mixed with the wet slide of your tongues against each other was enough to undo you, but she wasn’t done. Robin chased your lips without giving you a second to breathe, sliding her tongue across the underside of your fangs to draw fresh blood into both of your mouths, and you could barely moan properly through the tight squeeze of her hands around your throat that you were sure would leave a bruise.

You tried to push off of her lightly to get some air, but it seemed that her brain was just as altered as yours was, and it took a few tries, even a harsher push, to get her to relent. Both of you separated, breathing hard and looking absolutely debauched. Your eyes flicked down towards her neck, blood dripping down to her top, and you leaned in to lick the area clean, making her clutch the back of your neck again with a whine.

Once you surfaced again, you tried to slow your breathing, taking in your surroundings to try and relax, anchoring onto Robin’s heartbeat trying to come down from the high. But instead, your senses locked onto Sanji’s, rhythm still erratic just from watching you feed on Robin.

You lift your head to meet his gaze, and you see the same, completely dilated eyes lock onto yours, breathing hard. You contemplate leaving Robin to make your way over to him, but decide against it. Instead, you lift a hand up and make a come hither gesture, and you watch as he stands, transfixed, almost tripping over himself as he sits on the ground below Robin, patiently waiting his turn.

You slide your eyes back to Robin’s face and find her expression completely blissed out, so you lay her down gently in the chair, monitoring her heartbeat as you try to make her more comfortable, drawing it out precisely because you can sense Sanji watching your every move.

When you can’t draw it out any longer you turn to face him, looking down from where you stand, and you feel his heart skip a beat as you do, his eyes locking onto the deep red of your eyes and the sharpness of your fangs peeking out from under your lips.

You lower yourself agonizingly slowly to your knees, and crawl into his lap, sitting directly on his neglected erection. The breath that Sanji exhales is pained, and his hand comes up to grip your waist to regain some semblance of control. You almost want to swat it away, but you suppose he’s deserved it for waiting so long.

You squirm in his lap on purpose, and it’s worth it for the punched-out moan he lets out that makes him throw his head back, but you can’t hold back any longer. Your red eyes glint in the darkness, and you lower your head to clamp your fangs down on his waiting neck. Sanji’s clearly surprised, and you feel his hand tighten around your waist enough to hurt, and something flares hot in your belly knowing that both of their marks would be imprinted on your body, impossible to forget for days after. Impossible to ignore.

The taste is different. It’s not as intense as Robin’s blood, but the amount of alcohol he’s had tonight makes the experience just as heady. You moan into his skin, and you can feel that you’re not the only one affected by it. You can hear Sanji panting right into your ear, and you can’t ignore the feel of his hips bucking reflexively against you.

It’s not an acrid kind of bitter, but a deep, earthy flavor. The aftertaste of smoke envelops both your tastebuds and nose. It’s far from the taste of anyone you’ve fed off of before. The two of them make those two years impossible to have lived through without the taste of their blood. The faint burn of sake that you pick up makes the pleasure sweet and sharp, and you realize that unlike with Robin, you have full control over yourself. It makes you stop all of a sudden and pull away, and Sanji looks down at you, flustered, confused and hurt, almost like a kicked puppy.

You sit back and start to palm at his pants, looking for something. Your fingers drag against his aching cock and he winces, grabbing your wrist to stop your assault. “What are you looking for-” He manages to grit out, voice rough, and you look up into his eyes.

“Your cigarettes,” You say, and he stares at you, confused. “Breathe them into me- I want to feel you inside me,” You swallow. “Inside my mouth.”

Sanji full on chokes. He pauses in disbelief for a second before grabbing them out of his pocket, his hands shaking as he pulls one out, lighting it between his lips while his fingers tremble from the effort.

You readjust in his lap, looping your arms around his neck, skin buzzing as he takes your chin in one hand, pushing your mouth open, and you let him with ease. The sight forces him to close his eyes from the intensity. He takes a few normal pulls to regulate himself, then clears his throat.

“Keep inhaling when I exhale, okay?” You nodded, mouth agape, and you watched, dazed, as Sanji took a deep pull, holding it in his mouth briefly and closing the gap between the two of you, before he exhaled long into your mouth, smoke curling up and around your faces, your lips mere millimeters apart.

You tried to inhale consistently, but the taste was too strong, making you cough and try to pull away, but Sanji’s grip on your jaw kept you in place, choking through the smoke as he tutted your reaction. “You said you wanted to feel me, right?” He grit out, and you nodded through the burn.

“Then sit there and take it.” He whispered, making you whine low in your throat before he took another deep pull, exhaling into your waiting mouth. You made it five seconds without choking before Sanji chased your lips with a deep kiss, making you yelp, Sanji himself groaning as he tasted his own blood in your mouth, mixing with the smoky burn of the cigarette. You couldn’t breathe. Every time you tried to move away, he’d find your lips again easily.

Both of them were dead set on stealing your breath away, making you shiver in Sanji’s lap, but simultaneously breaking the tension enough to make you aware of Robin’s eyes on you. You had to clutch at his rumpled dress shirt to draw his attention to you, begging between ragged inhales for him to pull back. “Sanji-” You gasped again. “Sanji, I can’t-” His hands stilled at your waist and he stopped, ducking down into the space between you to take heaving breaths. “Fuck, sorry, got carried away.” He cursed into the silence.

You flicked your eyes up to where you knew Robin would be staring, her dark eyes pinned on your movements, and you flushed hotly under her gaze. You ripped your eyes away from her to settle back onto Sanji, quickly tilting his face up with your hand to kiss him on the mouth. His eyes softened, and you gave him a small smile back.

Once you knew he was alright, you climbed off of him haphazardly to meet Robin’s waiting gaze, reaching up shyly to plant the same kiss on her mouth, making her giggle.

She cleared her throat. “So, would you say the experiment was successful?”

“Robin!” You yelped, hitting her shoulder playfully as Sanji laughed in the background.

You can’t fully focus on the scene you’re trying to think up when you can hear Luffy and Usopp roughhousing one another right outside your door, footsteps reverberating through the wooden walls. Nami’s voice trails after them, yelling something incoherent but is surely a string of insults begging them to quiet down. Not to mention the buzz of drills and clanking of metal scraps flying out of Franky’s workshop completely derailing the script you’d just prepared.

Where were you just now? Right. In your chair, at your desk of course, but definitely somewhere else. A blank notebook lays flat on the wooden spread, your hand poised over the starting page with a freshly inked pen, but it stays still in your tense grip, a coverup for what was really keeping you busy.

When you couldn’t get privacy, you settled for daydreaming. Busy imagining a strong pair of hands groping and feeling around your waist almost possessively, a head ducking down to whisper praise into your ear, earrings clinking with the movement, a half-laugh smothered into your hair when you imagine yourself shying away at the compliment, your thighs clenching around sword worn fingers snaking down to touch- wait, what?

Before you can even process the fact that your usual daydreaming about the usual faceless body started taking the form of one of your nakama, the door slams open, and Nami appears through the doorway, clearly annoyed.

You immediately scramble to compose yourself, opening your mouth to retort something about privacy, but she only glances at you for a moment, either not noticing or choosing to ignore your flushed face, before whipping her head back angrily to look at Luffy and Usopp, who you’ve just now noticed to be trailing behind her, looking almost embarrassed. Nami clears her throat, glaring at them.

“Now, both of you apologize for disrupting her peace and quiet.” Nami continues, closing her eyes and crossing her arms expectantly. Of all the things you thought this would be about, an apology was probably the last on your list.

The two look at each other and exhale, opening their mouths before Nami cuts in to say, “And remember to say it at the same time!”. Usopp and Luffy sigh belatedly, and you hide a chuckle as you hear Usopp count him and Luffy down under his breath.

“3, 2, 1… We’re sorry for interrupting your study time, it won’t happen again!”, paired with a simultaneous 90 degree bow from both of them.

Nami takes this time as they’re bowing to look up at you and mouth an apologetic ‘Sorry’, her hands clasped together in a prayer sign, before clearing her throat and taking on a militant tone again as the two straighten back up.

“Now shoo!” She motions dismissively, and as the two leave you have to stifle another laugh as clear signs of Nami’s punishment make themselves apparent as soon as Usopp and Luffy turn around and patter out.

Nami looks at you and sighs, crossing the threshold of the room slowly while pushing the wooden door closed behind her. You hear the door creak shut as she leans against it, before pushing herself off of it to walk towards you, shaking her head.

You almost forget about the completely blank notebook and haphazardly hide it behind your back before she notices it.

“You know how they are. Sorry about that.” She says, and you wave it off quickly. “Oh please, it’s a welcome distraction to the amount of research I have to do.” That pulls a laugh from Nami as she, unfortunately, rounds the table and leans her arms against the table’s front while you inadvertently tense and thin your lips into a line as you wait for the inevitable realization.

“I guess, you must have been busy, frankly you look flushed from all that thinking-” She continues, absentmindedly looking down, only to realize the stark blankness of the entire notebook before you. Nami tilts her head. “Huh.” She says, before looking up at you and squinting.

“Nami.”

“Uhuh. Right. Red in the face from all that ‘research’, I’m sure.” You bury your head in your hands as she purses her lips almost comedically before continuing.

She reaches out a finger to jokingly poke at your temple.

“I don’t think it’s the research that’s got you worked up.” You immediately sigh deeply.

Nami laughs, pushing herself off of the table and sauntering back to the door. “Well, the apology still stands for the interruption,”

You choke.

“I’ll leave now so you can get back to whatever it was you were doing!”

“Nami, I swear.”

She turns back as she reaches for the door and winks exaggeratedly. “Don’t worry, I’ll lock the door and tell the rest you’re indisposed for the rest of today until dinner.”

“Nami!” A laugh accompanies the door locking shut, enveloping the room in silence.

Well now this just won’t do, you think to yourself in the silence, and reluctantly get to work on the research you were supposedly working oh so hard on before the interruption, all while fading images of a certain marimo danced around your mind.

The knowing look that Nami has slyly been throwing you all week has, frankly, thrown you off your game. At this point the frustration has reached an all time high and the daydreaming is simply not cutting it. It hasn’t cut anything for days now. In fact, it’s making it worse.

The more frustrated you felt, the more you had to resort to touching yourself. But the images that accompanied it were becoming a problem. They stopped being faceless, unknown and vague bodies, disposable after every night, and instead slowly morphed into the familiar body of one green-haired swordsman. And you were around him so much that every scene started to feel agonizingly real.

Close proximity really was a curse. Familiar hands sliding down your jaw to pull you in for a kiss, strong thighs supporting your weight in his lap, groans replicated from listening to him work out in the mornings- and so, though you didn’t intend for it to happen, the distance between the you and the rest of the crew started to make itself known.

You started being the first in and first out for all of breakfast, lunch and dinner, surprising Sanji who usually knew you to arrive with Nami, with both of you lingering in the kitchen until it was time for clean up and dishwashing.

He used to take his time letting the both of you taste test each iteration of his dishes, letting you savor the meal, and in turn listening attentively at the end of it for your feedback. But it stopped coming.

Now, you’d come in alone, take your bowl quietly with a nod, sit down to eat, and leave as soon as the last dregs of the dish were scraped up by your spoon before the rest of the crew could even enjoy their meals. Safe to say he wasn’t the only one who noticed this change.

The first time it happened, you left midway through Samji asking what you thought of the seafood pasta he’d made that day. He called out after you but had to stop after Luffy started stealing Chopper’s cherry tomatoes while he wasn’t looking. After that, he noticed you’d only ever leave if you heard the others closing in on the kitchen, attracted by the smell of food. He thought it was a problem of feeling overwhelmed.

Maybe a smaller group would be better.

He tried lunch with just him and Nami, the way the three of you used to do it on test kitchen days. You didn’t get up, and lingered at the table long enough for a round of dessert. Okay, he thought, pleased with himself.

He tried just getting Chopper and Usopp to come in for lunch, timing breakfast specifically when the others were racing around the beach on the new island they were docked at, bribing the two of them, and you, with the promise of serving the first batch of meat before the others. You didn’t get up, stifling laughter even at Usopp’s long winded stories. Sanji thought he’d solved the problem, and relaxed.

Then one day, on a late night on the Sunny, with the remnants of the sun settling across the sky and framing the picture perfect horizon, it was just you, him and Zoro on the ship. With the rest of the crew out on the island doing god knows what, he decided to close out the night with a round of drinks for the three of you, one night only.

It was just you and him in the kitchen as he made a set of sunset colored drinks with matching parasol toothpicks, and you giggled at the bartending party tricks he’d pull despite his mere audience of one.

He sighed as he set the mixers down on the table, smiling at you softly.

“You know, I was afraid you’d started to hate us.”

The directness of the statement wiped the smile off of your face.

“What do you mean?”

Sanji began to wipe down the table with a spare rag, and as you tracked his movements you realized there was no spill, and that he just needed to keep his hands occupied to soften the blow.

He cleared his throat.

“I’m just saying what I see.”

You opened your mouth to reply, before another voice cut in.

“You don’t join us for family meals anymore.”

You froze, and turned around slowly to see Zoro standing in the doorway.

The ice in each of your cocktail glasses was beginning to melt.

“That’s not because I hate any of you-“

“Then what is it? If you have a problem with the crew, tell me,” Zoro says gruffly, “but you have to stop moping around and ignoring everyone like it’s gonna solve anything.”

Sanji cut in before it could get any more tense. He reached a hand out as if to tell him to stand down.

“Zoro, I think I’ve figured it out, it’s okay.”

At this, you turn to Sanji, equally confused and, if he had looked closer at your face, almost scared. You could feel your stomach drop into the abyss.

“..What do you mean you’ve figured it out.”

There was no way this was how you were going to go down. Oh god, now you’re the pervert for fantasizing about one of your own crew. Not at all in the simpering way that Sanji does but instead in a deep, dark, carnal, disgusting way- which makes it even worse.

“I mean, you just don’t like the noise and the mess of all of us eating together, don’t you? When it was just Nami and I, you were fine-”

What?

Sanji continues, rushing as if to get the thought out before it escapes him “..and when it was just Chopper and Usopp, you were fine too, so-”

Sanji slows down as he sees you shake your head profusely.

“No-, no, I love the noise and I love being around you all-” You say it deliberately, gaze flicking between them to emphasize your point, but Zoro tilts his head right as you glance at him and you immediately rip your gaze off of him as if you’ve been burned, stuttering over your next thought.

And Sanji, ever observant and trying to track whether this argument was going to explode or not, is watching closely when this interaction in particular piques his interest, and stalls all intentions of mediating any of this.

Your gaze stops landing on Zoro at all as you continue your defense. The sunset colors of the drink in each of your glasses begin to mix as the conversation grows longer.

“and I’m sorry if it ever came off that I hated you, I’m just going through something and I-”

Sanji furrows his brow and decides to nip this spiel in the bud.

“Did you two fuck or something?” He points between you and Zoro inquisitively, leaning forward on the kitchen island as if to zero in on your reactions.

In the silence that follows, the ice in your neglected drinks choose to clink as if to say, we’re still here, you know!

The silence is broken by a simultaneous “What? No!” from both offended parties at once.

You wince as you realize how the response worsened the situation instead of helping it. Sanji raises an eyebrow. Zoro rolls his eyes and you can’t do much else except stand there and receive your judgement for a crime you didn’t commit.

“Forgive me for saying what I see, but come on. One day out of nowhere, you,”

He emphasizes by jabbing a finger in your direction.

“Start acting weird and moping around, missing out on family meals and only eating with a select few people-”

You open your mouth to try and defend yourself but are completely steamrolled over.

“Let me finish!” Sanji huffs.

“Eating with a select few people that does not include Zoro- You can’t even look him in the eyes right now, and on top of everything you say you’re ‘going through something’?” Sanji pauses to let the words sink in, and Zoro looks entirely unamused.

“Wow, cook. Knew you were a pervert, but not to the extent of lying just to create some entertainment for your nonexistent sex life.” He spits out, before turning on his heel and walking out of the kitchen.

The 5 seconds that follow feel suspiciously like several hours.

“Oh god.” You say finally, feeling like collapsing to the floor, but instead dragging yourself to the kitchen island and seating yourself at the bar, your hands closing around your face anxiously.

“I need a fucking drink.” You mumble as you feel for the now-condensated set of drinks, and Sanji wordlessly moves the one with a blue parasol into your hands. You splay your hand just enough to see through the gaps between your fingers and whisper a thank you under your breath, before raising your head just enough to sip at the cocktail.

Sanji, in turn, takes his, the one with a pink parasol, and nearly downs the entire thing in one go.

“So clearly I was wrong.”

You glare at him, and he sighs as if to agree that he deserved it, before rounding the bar and plopping himself down next to you.

Sanji takes a moment, crossing his arms and leaning into the table.

“So what was it then?”

You sigh.

“You’re fine with me, with Nami no less, and-”

“It’s not. About the others.” You weigh whether this is worth telling him now or tomorrow when it’s less tense, and decide otherwise.

You pause to stare at your cocktail glass before taking it, ‘cheers’ing in Sanji’s direction, and downing it nearly as fast as he did.

He looks thoroughly alarmed as you do it and opens his mouth, probably to retort something stupid, and you wave it off and motion for him to wait.

“You were almost there.” At this, Sanji’s eyes almost boggle out of his head, and he decides to sit up to fully take it in.

“No, what, that marimo idiot was just faking?”

“No, that’s not-. Okay I just….”

Sanji squints. “You just what.”

You just decide to get it over with. You try to close your eyes, but the world spins behind them as you do so, cursed drink, so instead of fighting it you take it as a sign to just face Sanji head on.

“I want Zoro.”

“Uhuh.” Sanji says inquisitively.

“In a way that is not appropriate for me to think about my nakama- any nakama.” You continue, still facing Sanji but unable to take the steady weight of his eye all at once. He stays silent and lets you continue regardless.

“And I know it’s selfish and greedy of me to want him that way.” At this you have to turn to stare into your empty glass instead, tracing senseless patterns into the condensation with your index to try and inch away from the embarrassment and shame curling through your gut at this admission.

You’re done, but Sanji still waits as if he was expecting something worse, so you decide to tack on, “And saying it probably won’t change anything, so I’ll always be grateful for what I can get.” Just because.

The silence in the kitchen is deafening, and for a moment all you can hear and feel is the steady rock of the ship against the waves.

You cut through the tension the only way you know how.

“Don’t say something stupid or sappy or I’ll kick you out of this kitchen myself.”

Sanji scoffs, caught off guard by the sudden bluntness of your statement.

For a second you could swear he was about to say, ‘I wasn’t going to,’ but evidently he was, and he swallows his statement completely.

“Sanji- I don’t need your pity, you can relax.” He starts to shake his head, but you continue.

“I’m sorry it had to get to this point where the both of you- god knows who else- was convinced that I hated all of you.”

He waves you off.

“It’s not- pity. I was just going to say. You’re as important to all of us as we are to you. I care about you, we care about you, you care about us-” This time you start shaking your head, but Sanji cuts in.

“No, listen. Something as simple as asking for a sexual favor isn’t going to cause a rupture in time and space for us. Please.” He almost laughs. “Give us some credit.”

You’d laugh if you didn’t feel so uprooted.

“And it wouldn’t be the first time. Relax.”

You nearly get whiplash trying to process this statement, so simple and yet so telling of the kind of relationship this crew has with one another. One of absolute trust and understanding.

You meet Sanji’s eyes and he gives you a small nod of encouragement, pushing himself off of the seat and slinking off into the background to clean up the remaining glasses, before his eye catches on the one with the green parasol meant for Zoro.

He hums just out of your view, but you can sense what he’s looking at.

“You wanna take this up to him in the crow’s nest or down it for some extra liquid courage?”

“..I think I’ll take it up.”

Sanji remakes the last sunset cocktail as a silent apology and you know it, but refuse to further embarrass him by pointing it out. You try to distract yourself on the way up to the crow’s nest to suppress the sickly feeling of not knowing where this next conversation could take you. Your insides were twisting uncomfortably as you climbed up, the only thing grounding you to this world being the ice cold feel of the cocktail in your hands, and the certainty of Sanji’s words that guided you here in the first place. A question won’t hurt.

You’re not sure whether to knock or not but from your spot outside you see Zoro leaning back against the wall, clearly annoyed. You decided not to knock, pushing into the room silently and standing at the door, drink in hand.

“If the cook sent you to apologize for him you can tell him to fuck right off.” He says gruffly, guard still up after Sanji’s outburst.

“I wanted to say sorry.”

Zoro levels you a look before he sits down on the floor, carefully extricating his swords before setting them aside. At first you think he’s going to ignore you, but then he motions for you to sit in front of him, and you settle in your place for a moment before placing the cocktail before him.

Zoro looks to the side and cracks a smile, having clearly noticed the care that Sanji had put to remake the whole thing. “I’m holding this over him for the next week if you aren’t going to already.” You give a slight smile in response, the tension easing but not going away entirely, before glancing upwards to see him already looking into your eyes, a silent prompt that he hasn’t forgotten what this conversation was supposed to be about.

“First of all I am sorry for how I’ve been coming off lately. It’s not anyone else's fault but my own. I want to make that clear.” Zoro keeps his level gaze.

Unlike Sanji, he wants you to get it all out and refuses to react until the very end, which makes things worse, because in this moment all you can see is how beautiful he is when he’s focused like this, earrings twinkling in the moonlight up in the crow’s nest.

“But I just can’t- It’s hard to say.”

Zoro clicks his tongue, and it forces your attention upwards.

“They’re just words. No matter what it is, we’ll help you, we’ll fix it, but you have to tell us- first and foremost, tell me, what’s wrong.”

He looks into your eyes intently, trying to read between what you’re saying and what you’re hiding.

You want to tell him, but it’s precisely because it is him that makes it so difficult.

But at the end of the day, they are just words.

And once you acknowledge them as just words, they start tumbling out.

“Sometimes I want you more than just in a friends way.”

A pause, and you can tell Zoro wasn’t really expecting this to be the subject matter of the night. He shifts in his seat.

“I don’t mean that I’m in love with you, just to make that clear. I just mean that sometimes-” You’re not sure if Zoro’s amused at your balking or what, but it makes you want to wipe that stupid face off of his face. Whatever that means.

“Sometimes you want the benefits.” He picks up right where you leave off, surprisingly calm, and you nod slowly.

Now Zoro looks entirely amused, and soon begins to stifle what seems to be laughter?

“You were moping around and not joining us for meals because you had thoughts about fucking me?”

Oh my god.

You resist the urge to roll your eyes.

“Don’t get a big head now, you idiot.” You say, embarrassed, as if you had any control over the ridiculous situation you just found yourself in.

Once Zoro came down from his giggling, which was a stark difference to his usual demeanor, his face settled into a more relaxed, but still, intentional gaze.

“Of course not.” He says, and something in your posture relaxes.

“You think I’d joke about this around the others? It’s just between us.”

He pauses, shifting in his seat.

“But just tell me what you need, when you do.”

The implication of it sends sparks up your spine, but in a way that still feels safe.

This is safe. It’s okay. You aren’t a monster for wanting more. So you take it as an invitation and let his statement sit for a moment.

“What if,” You swallow.

“I need something right now?”

Zoro raises an eyebrow, and opens his mouth to say something smug before you interrupt him.

“I don’t mean all the way- right now, of course not. I just need..“

You’re trying to choose the words that are about to come out of your mouth very carefully, but Zoro beats you to it.

“You need to feel something?”

You purse your lips. “More or less.” Zoro nods.

The next thing that comes out of his mouth almost knocks you over from the force.

“How do you want me?”

And it’s such a simple question.

He’s managed to turn this entire situation into something so simple, a need you have that he perfectly understands. It’s not selfish at all. He has what you need, and for tonight a warm body is enough.

“I want to- fuck, I can’t. I can’t even say it.” You almost crumple in on yourself as you try to make things less awkward. Zoro laughs.

“Again, they’re just words. Relax.” He pauses, before continuing.

“You have me.”

Your stomach lurches. You press the heels of your palms to your eyes as you prepare yourself to say it out loud.

“I can’t stop thinking about being in your lap.”

You know you shouldn’t be able to sense it, but you can feel the smile on Zoro’s face even when you can’t see it. You refuse to acknowledge it. Opening your eyes would make everything real.

“And what do you think about doing when you’re in my lap?”

You squirm, almost turning away entirely. He’s so near but he’s so far away. You just want to get rid of this burning heat. So you open your eyes and slowly take your hands off of your face, knuckling against the hard floorboards of the crow’s nest instead as you think of what to say next.

“Aw. Are we embarrassed? So eager to sit in my lap but can’t handle a little dirty talk?”

“Fuck off.” You spit.

Zoro laughs. “Don’t fight it. I won’t tease anymore. But you’ll have to show me what you want.” He leans back and taps his thigh expectantly, and you feel your heart drop off into the abyss.

You get up tentatively, your face entirely flushed despite the cool summer night, and crawl across the space between you before settling down carefully into Zoro’s waiting lap. The feel of corded muscles flexing underneath you made your breath hitch. His hands come to settle at your waist before noticing your own uncertain hands unsure of where to land.

“Come on, even in those fantasies of yours you haven’t thought this part through? Sit how you would in those dreams. Don’t be shy.”

Your throat was dry as you swallowed, before you slowly moved your arms around his neck, settling you further against him until you could feel his entire warmth enveloping your body. You tried to readjust, accidentally brushing the hard outline of his cock through his pants, and Zoro let out an appreciative groan.

“And now?”

You were too embarrassed to reply, avoiding his eyes.

He hummed as if deep in thought, fingers tapping against your side as if he had all the time in the world, ignoring the tremble of your body.

“I’m not so certain we stayed like this in your dreams, unless we did.” He tilted his head. “But I severely doubt it..”

You knew he was just coaxing it out of you, you could feel the smirk in his voice, and just as he wanted, you snapped.

You hissed. “Fucking fine.” Your hips began to move in slow circles, breath catching as you ground against his erection.

“I grind just like this and you-.”

“And I do what, sweetheart?”

You looked him in the eye, swallowing dryly.

“You force my hips to move faster and we both cum just from this.” You refused to let any other emotion show, but you were certain you were going to die in the crow’s nest after tonight, flushing red all over in your own nakama’s lap.

Zoro smiled, obeying and grabbing at your waist to grind down harder, causing you to yelp in surprise.

He huffed. “Like this? Am I doing it right?”

You moaned, thighs locking around his waist to feel the friction more intensely, not even bothering to reply.

“I am, aren’t I?” Zoro laughed. After days of waiting and even longer nights fantasizing about this exact situation, nothing could compare to the real thing. Was the crow’s nest always this hot?

Zoro continued teasing. “Look at you writhing like this just for me.”

You panted, ducking down to stare obscenely at where your bodies connected, until Zoro grabbed your jaw, forcing you to face him directly, the harshness making you whimper, combined with the delicious grind of his hips against yours.

“Say yes for me, please.” He pouted, uncharacteristic, before gripping your face harder.

“Or else I won’t let you cum.” The taunt sent a shiver up your spine.

You kept shaking your head, refusing to answer out loud despite the debauched picture the both of you painted, fully clothed but panting loudly against the quiet of the room.

Zoro continued. “That’s okay, you overwhelmed? Feels too good?” You couldn’t do anything else but nod in reply, constrained in his hold, back arching slightly to meet his clothed dick, slick from pre cum and your wetness.

Zoro chuckled as he felt you adjust, releasing your jaw to grip both hands on your waist. “Aw, you want me to go faster?” You moaned low in your throat, throwing your head back and exposing the line of your throat to him.

“I bet you do, you want it messy-“ His words broke on a groan as you dragged against his cock just right. “You hear yourself moaning like that in my lap? I haven’t even touched you yet.”

Tears were welling up in your eyes from the embarrassment and the pleasure all at once, making you bury your head into his neck, overwhelmed.

The grip on your waist tightened as he laughed.

“This won’t do. Can’t see your face.” You raised your head, momentarily confused, before you were flipped onto your back, making you yelp as you met the harsh bite of the cold floor.

Zoro held your legs open, settling between your thighs again to grind down on your clothed pussy, the angle choking off your yelp into a long moan before your hands flew to your mouth, covering the sound.

In the next second he ripped your hands free, grinding particularly hard to get his point across. “Stop fighting it, c’mon. For me.” He panted into your ear. “You asked me for this, right? Stop thinking. Give it to me.”

You whine, embarrassed, hearing the squelch of your clothed bodies against each other as Zoro fucks into you in earnest, your hands scrabbling for purchase against his back as he keeps talking. You feel your high coming and fast.

“You’ve dreamt of this, you’ve been telling me about how much you want me- right?” Your eyes roll back into your head, nodding helplessly as the coil inside you grows tighter and tighter. You can feel Zoro’s pace beginning to grow erratic above you.

“Give it to me.” He groans, and you can’t do anything else but obey. Your vision whites out as your lips part on a wordless moan, hips spasming against Zoro’s body.

He moans through your release, feeling it soak through your pants as he moves his hips slowly through wet heat, making you hiss in response. The sight of Zoro panting above you is immaculate, rivulets of sweat dripping down his face and throat.

He stares transfixed between your bodies, and after a few shallow thrusts into you, Zoro follows your release, dampening your clothes even further before he readjusts to meet your eyes.

His expression settles.

“Happy now?” He asks, and you can’t even nod properly before he pushes off of you, the movement making you groan in overstimulation, leaving you vulnerable and exposed on the floor of the crow’s nest as he reaches for the neglected drink to take a sip.

“Next time, just ask.”