@ushauz

that’s her. the Task Manager

really love keeping up with my mutuals through their little tags and vent posts. getting updates on how they’re doing is something like: glad to know your job at the library is going well. i’m sorry you haven’t gotten that raise. glad your finals went well. i’m sorry your teacher is so unhelpful. glad your tv show got renewed. i’m sorry they killed your favorite character. glad that you scored tickets to see your favorite artist. i’m sorry they aren’t touring near you at all. glad your cat is doing well. i’m sorry your mom is sick again. glad you’re feeling better now that it’s your favorite season. i’m sorry your meds aren’t working. glad you’re married now. i’m sorry you have to step back for your mental health. glad you’re still here. i’m sorry life is so hard. glad you’re alive, i hope things get easier for you soon

never lose hope. somewhere, a middle-aged, gender ambiguous person with an advanced degree in an esoteric field and a fiber arts hobby could be crashing out and pinning all their remaining mental health on getting obsessed with your otp. any day now, the most elegantly written 100k fanfic you have ever read is going to hit ao3. it could happen. it has happened.

don't infantilise yourself. you are not a child who needs an adult to make your decisions for you. you are a splendid and magnificent autocrat and you are consulting your trusted advisors. you are exercising great wisdom by inviting an expert to give their opinion before making your ruling. often the path of wisdom is to say "good morning, I'm trying to [perform task] and I have a question about [aspect], can you tell me who I should speak to for advice?" before you do it. sometimes the path of wisdom is to hire a plumber. there are times when you cannot do things for yourself but that doesn't mean you are not an adult. you don't need a grown-up. you need a specialist.

i’m so fucking tired i’m so fucking tired i’m so fucking tired i’m so fucking tired i’m so fucking tired i’m so fucking tired i’m so fucking tired i’m so fucking tired i’m so fucking tired i’m so fucking tired i’m so fucking tired i’m so fucking tired i’m so fucking tired i’m so fucking tired i’m so fucking tired i’m so fucking tired i’m so fucking tired i’m so fucking tired i’m so fucking tired i’m so fucking tired i’m so fucking tired i’m so fucking tired i’m so fucking tired i’m so fucking tired

so the childhood yearning to live in a fantasy world just never goes away huh

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

*turns my attention to fictional media* ah perfect

[the most low energy you have ever seen me] we’re about to go crazy mode

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to put no effort into my appearance

“Do it scared” “do it alone” are all great tips, but my biggest takeaway from therapy is do it messy. This is especially true if you’re getting out of a burnout, which I experience often. Literally just do it messy. You don’t need to pick the perfect trail to walk, the perfect playlist to listen to, whatever the fuck it is. You don’t need to have a meticulous to do list and wake up at the exact time you planned and drink the exact amount of water you planned to drink. Like the biggest thing for people like me to remember is sometimes it’s okay to do it messy. Put on a random yt workout and just get it done in sweats. Do 5 minutes of a daunting task and go from there. Sometimes just getting up is a win during intense burnouts or depressive funks. Literally just do it messy.

not a caller not a texter but a secret third thing

don’t contact me. ever