Holiday thoughts 🥰
Hiiii 👋 I'm Holly bobs 😂4 days in although feels longer definitely doesn't feel like it's going fast so far anyways.
So far all good in the good in the hood weather has been roasting apart from today it's bit on the cloudy side but from tomorrow it's getting hotter apparently so I guess treat today as a bit of a restbite shouldn't be saying that but man it is hot and very humid as well
So far things aren't too bad I have sensed a bit of tension the last day or so.
Thing is with how past years have been coming here I don't really expect much different really it's always going to be a bit tense at times but this time round a lot of conversations were said and that it was agreed that EVERYONE would get a break including dad because last year was terrible we barely saw dad me and mum had a holiday on us own.
And this time it was said things will be different so far they have been to be honest. But tomorrow dad is taking G swimming and there has been a bit of tension surrounding it but I have said to mum look let's just let it happen least it ain't all day it's in the morning so it's not gonna be all day so just let it roll and she's agreed 👍
But she got a bit annoyed about the fact she wanted to do the gym earlier and then dad felt she was being awkward and since then the atmosphere has been off.
They went out this morning for like a hike for a few hours but came back I got a icey feeling. Dad has been a bit subdued but they're talking here and there it's a shame really that things can't be different but trouble is G is not a pleasant person to be around she doesn't talk to us.
She only talks to dad and it's her and dad me and mum it's not nice feeling at all and mum said she feels annoyed that it's like that but it's been years and years of this since the day mum and dad got together and that was 35 years ago lol 🤣
It's been no different ever since I was young I have never felt like it was all happy families most of the time it was all a front for just having peace. But over years it's just cracked and healed so many times and me and mum have both tried to connect in some way but it's just pointless never goes to plan ever it's hard work.
So I'm just hoping that things just stay peaceful. Dad is taking G shopping on Thursday but that's a morning job so far that's it but I'm sort of waiting for more to come but I'm hoping that it'll be different I think if it was gonna be a repeat of previous years it would started on day one. But it hasn't so I feel like maybe it won't be but we'll see what happens. I messaged mum whilst we've been sat in sun dad had his headphones in lol but I thought I'll just message and see what's going on
Turned out this whole conversation started whilst they was out which is what I thought. But I just said look I understand your frustrated but we just have to let things flow and not let it ruin anything. I do feel for dad as well because I get he must be torn between a rock and hard place and I'm sure he wishes that things were different but they're not everyone has tried over years but I think now it's time to accept that things are how they are and they won't change. I think as long as peace is kept and everyone is understanding of stuff then that's how it's gonna have to be.
I get it shouldn't be separate and mum said to me that she finds it a shame that it's like that because so much as happened and life is short but unfortunately it's just not gonna change any time soon. Time has gone on too long like that this for things to change now I reckon.
So I think for now it's not worth upsetting everyone because it just affects everything it's not fair especially when we have all be stressed and counting down for this break but unfortunately G is no ordinary G she just doesn't quite understand that really but hey ho anyways I'll be back with more
💙🥰
