A Matter of Destiny

Miriallia was busy most of the night, it seemed. She spoke with several important politicians. She had a dance with Muu, whom she somehow got to blush, and with Kira, which was embarassing to witness. He apparently had never danced a day in his life, from the way his feet kept bumping into each other and he kept looking down. Dearka had to stop watching before he ruptured a lung from holding in his laughter.

But when Athrun Zala held her, even though it was for a faster song, Dearka felt the heat rush to his face and his fists clench. Athrun had enough women fawning over him. He didn't need to sweep Miriallia off her feet in any way whatsoever. He'd already had his fun with his cute redheaded ex, and Councilwoman Leitner, who was old enough to be his mother, and a couple girls that he probably didn't even know. And Lacus Clyne twice, even though Kira was right there, not that Dearka blamed her for not wanting to be stepped on by Kira after the first time. But Miriallia was crossing a line.

He strode onto the dance floor and tapped Athrun on the shoulder. "May I cut in?" he asked, keeping the irritation out of his voice.

"Dearka!" Athrun seemed surprised to see him. "Of course. If Miriallia doesn't mind." He glanced at Miriallia, who nodded.

"You were just saying you needed a break," she said. "And I'd love to catch up with Dearka." She smiled at him, and Dearka felt his annoyance slide away. Athrun stepped away and let him take Miriallia's hand.

Now that he was holding her hand, Athrun didn't matter at all. They fell into step. Dearka wished he'd waited for a slower song so they could talk, but in the moments when the steps brought them close, he talked at her.

"Sorry it took so long. You looked busy," he told her in one turn.

"You look great. Did I tell you that yet?" he said in another.

"Not yet," she laughed.

"You look good, too," she said in the next turn. "Have you gotten taller?"

"One centimeter since last year, but I think I'm done. I haven't had to buy new pants in six months."

She laughed at that, and he grinned.

Finally the song changed to something slower, and he could hold her close.

"Miriallia," he started. She opened her mouth at the same time.

"You go first," she said.

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

He swayed with her in his arms, and tried again to find the words he wanted. He thought idly that he might want to wait for a less public setting, but he didn't know when the Archangel was leaving again. He took the chance.

"I want to start by saying I'm sorry," he said. "I shouldn't have yelled that time."

"Same," she said. "I was thinking that too."

"Heh." He grinned at her. "We were both pretty mean to each other, huh? I shouldn't have told you what you can and can't do."

"Damn straight," she said fiercely. "That's mostly why I was mad, you know."

"Yeah. I figured that one out afterwards. I was scared for you, though. You never hear about war reporters unless they get killed." He pulled her closer. "So I was really happy to hear you were okay. And to see you today."

She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. "You big lug. I just wanted you to be safe, too. And I worried that you'd be taken advantage of, in the military."

"I'm not that stupid, you know. I'm back in ZAFT so I can make a difference, and protect people."

"I know. I saw how hard you're working. The Joule Team was in the thick of everything, and that made me even more worried."

"I'm still here."

"I know." She shifted to look up at him. "So we agree that we were both dummies? And that we're happy to see each other whole?"

"Yeah," he said. "Friends again?" He hated to say it that way, when he wanted to be her lover more than anything, but they needed to be friends before anything else or they'd just fight again.

She nodded. "So... Lunch tomorrow? I've got the whole day free."

They grinned at each other, and Dearka was never so glad that he'd admitted he was wrong.

He'd been painfully conscious that Shiho was a woman since the morning she'd found him on the bridge trying to run a simulation with Messiah in the wrong map. Even though their conversation then was within the bounds of professionalism (except his threat of court martial for comments on his wardrobe, but he wasn't going to think about that), something in him had clicked. Shiho was a pilot and a soldier, yes, but she was also a woman close to his own age, interested in the same things with a demeanor that conveyed gentleness off the battlefield and determination on it. She had worked out the theory of beam particle weaponry from what their scientists had gleaned from Duel and the other GATX mobile suits. He'd only needed to nudge her in the right direction with his knowledge from the actual field, and she'd molded the CGUE DEEP Arms into a machine worthy of combat.

And yet, he should have known from that day, when he helped her with the DEEP Arms, that she was feminine at heart. There had been flowers scribbled on some of her note files, after all. And while he was perfectly fine with flowers and planned on having a garden once he settled down, it seemed to be a certain quirk of girls to draw flowers on things. At least from what he could tell; most of his experience with women was his mother and a few little girls in his elementary school class, before his education was given over to private tutors. And Lacus Clyne, of course. There were flowers all over things associated with Lacus Clyne. He was surprised the Eternal didn't have roses on it yet.

"They look very good together," Shiho said beside him.

"What?" he blinked.

Shiho smiled and gestured with one hand. "Athrun Zala is dancing with Lacus Clyne. I know they're not together anymore, but I can't help but think that they are a good-looking pair."

Yzak followed her gesture and saw the pair dancing together. Lacus's actual lover had joined the Asuka boy in lingering on the sidelines, looking awkward. Yzak sniffed. That was a sure sign of a man who had some lack, either in confidence or in dancing ability.

"Athrun's dancing is adequate," Yzak grudgingly admitted. He was actually doing quite well. Even though he couldn't sing (his win in their karaoke contest four years ago was luck and choosing an easy song, Yzak swore to this day), Athrun's other musical abilities were on par, and he stayed on beat well enough to lead a talented woman like Lacus Clyne. Lacus's thickly ruffled skirt was full enough to hide any missteps anyway. Not like Shiho's slimmer skirt. He would have to be at his best; the light, purple organza would twirl but there were no ruffles to obscure people's vision. He found himself looking forward to the challenge, somehow, and he didn't even know if she wanted to dance.

"I think he's doing well," Shiho said. Yzak narrowed his eyes at her. There was a glint in her eyes and her lips were turned up in a smile. She was teasing him. Him! The youngest white-coated ZAFT commander in the history of the organization!

"Don't be foolish," he snapped. "If you want to see real dancing, I will show you myself!" He held out his hand for her, even though she'd played him like a fiddle and they both knew it.

She smiled and took his hand. He led her out to the dance floor and pulled her into a basic waltz position. He leaned in and whispered to her, "I am not going to go easy on you once we start."

"I expect nothing less, Commander," she said, and he got a shiver. Teasing or not, it was just what he wanted to hear.

Athrun gawked at her. Louise had snuck up on her late friend's son after he bid his previous dance partner good-bye. Not on purpose, mind you. But she'd approached from his side and that was just the way it worked out.

"Auntie Louise- I mean, Councilor Leitner," he said, not nearly as smooth as his parting with the pretty redhead had been. "How are you?"

Louise laughed. "It's been years since you called me Auntie. I think I prefer it to Councilor."

To her surprise, Athrun smiled. He seemed so uptight the last few times she saw him, she was afraid he'd forgotten how. Circumstances had been serious, even dire for some of their meetings, since Louise was the chair of the Judiciary Committee and Athrun had been getting himself into trouble. But even compared to other young people in similar situations, Athrun had been tense and unsmiling.

"I heard you're a grandmother now," he said, referring to her son Benjamin's newborn. The announcement had been on the PLANT news channels a few days prior; a bit of happy news Ben was happy to share. "Would you prefer Grammy? Or Nanna?"

"When did you get fresh, young man?!" Her shock was mostly feigned. Mostly.

"When you snuck up on me. Or sometime last month. I'm not quite sure. It's been a bit hectic."

"I bet it has. Athrun," she said, her smile faltering, "you know I never wanted all this to happen to you. The inquisition, the blame-"

He made a waving motion to cut her off. "I made my bed, Auntie. I need to lie in it," he said with considerable more aplomb than he had in the past. "I'm just glad we were able to make everyone understand. And my PLANT citizenship has been reinstated. I'd say that's a good enough victory, after everything." His smile was weaker, but it hadn't completely faded. Louise was glad to see that. But he had the air of someone who had made a hard decision. There was something he didn't want to say but had to. It was written in the stiffness of his shoulders, the way he glanced downward.

There was only one thing it could be, after working so hard to get him legally welcome back in PLANT.

"So you decided to go to Orb?" she said for him.

"Yeah. I... want to believe in their ideals, and I want to support Ca- Representative Athha."

Louise's lips thinned. "Orb's ideals?" she asked, trying to keep her voice steady. Orb's ideals had caused a lot of problems for PLANT, the way the Council saw it.

"A place where Coordinators and Naturals can live in peace," he said, and Louise felt herself relax. It was the supposed non-intervention policy and military technology edicts that caused her Orb-related headaches. Living in peace was a grand goal.

"Those are ideals we can all agree on," she said with a smile of her own. Athrun looked back at her- a gentle, peaceful expression- and he looked so much like his mother that her heart ached once again for PLANT's dear, lost Lenore.

"I won't allow it!" the robot chirped.

Athrun put out a hand to catch Haro and stop his bouncing as he approached. "Lacus, why did you bring Haro? He's nothing but a nuisance at things like this."

"But he would have been lonely at home alone," she said matter-of-factly.

"Yes, lonely with six others," Athrun sighed. "I don't understand you at all. Haros can't even feel loneliness."

"I'm going to get a drink," Kira said, mostly to extricate himself from the situation. This was a recurring discussion between Lacus and Athrun that he had learned better than to butt into. He had tried once, but Lacus had gotten angry with him for supporting Athrun's view that the robots couldn't really feel emotion. Then he annoyed Athrun for supporting Lacus's desire to keep Pink close, and for praising the AI that made it seem like the Haros could indeed feel. He couldn't win.

He obtained some sort of pink mixed drink from a waiter and stood a ways away while Lacus and Athrun continued their dispute. Athrun was visibly flustered, but Lacus looked at him with wide, innocent eyes. She had probably asked him to make another "friend" for Pink, Kira guessed, and held back an exasperated sigh. He already had to sneak around if he wanted any alone time with Lacus. He'd even locked them in a guest room once or twice. It was like being at the orphanage again, with children everywhere. This is why they hadn't gotten physical in their relationship until recently. That, and he wasn't ready yet while dealing with his feelings from the first war, but the children and robots underfoot were a factor, too.

Kira was wondering if he should leave Athrun to his mechanical misery when he saw Meyrin Hawke and waved her over, thankful for a familiar face. There were too many that he didn't know.

"Miss Meyrin," he greeted her. "How are you?"

"Commander Yamato!" she said warmly. "I'm good. I've been kept very busy, though. How are you?"

"The same," he said with a laugh. "They gave me an office and everything. I guess I'm going to be teaching a programming class next term?"

"You guess?" she giggled.

"I guess!" He grinned. "Do you want anything? I'll be happy to take care of it for you. You're a friend, after all." The girl had barely spoken to him on the Eternal, being closer to Athrun previously and then making friends with Lacus rather than himself, but that was good enough. Friends were hard to come by.

"I'm fine, thank you," she said with a polite bob of her head. "Are Miss Lacus and Athrun here, too?"

Kira motioned over to them. Lacus was holding Pink in her arms, and Athrun had a resigned smile. Whatever they'd been discussing, Lacus had won. As always; Kira never saw Athrun come out on top of a discussion with Lacus.

"Come on, let's go see them," he said. Meyrin nodded, and he led her through the thin spots in the crowd. "Look who I found," he called to them as they drew close.

"Miss Meyrin!" Lacus beamed at her. Athrun nodded politely. Lacus let go of Haro, who bounced off the floor and up into Athrun's waiting hand. He didn't let the robot go again.

Lacus happily took Meyrin's hands. "It's so good to see you! Is Miss Lunamaria here, too?"

Meyrin shook her head. "Luna couldn't get off duty. She's pretty annoyed about the whole thing. But Shinn was nice enough to escort me so I wouldn't be alone!"

Kira happened to be looking at Athrun when she said Lunamaria would not be attending, and noticed his friend relax. His shoulders lowered, just a little. He stiffened right back up at the word of Shinn Asuka, though.

"Where is Shinn?" he asked, and Kira hid a smirk at the waver in his voice.

Meyrin smiled and tilted her head. "Where else? I asked him to dance so he's hiding out with the hors d'ouerves!"  

"Looks like you're not the only one who is nervous about dancing, Kira," Lacus said. She meant it innocently, he was sure, but he flushed at being put on the spot.

Athrun turned to him. "You haven't danced with Lacus yet? Kira! I thought I told you-" Meyrin giggled and he cut himself off. "You have to dance with your date at least once at these things," he said with a huff.

"This song is rather slow, and we're only a little into it. Shall we take care of this duty?" Lacus said. Her eyes sparkled, and Kira wanted to smack Athrun. Some best friend he was.

Still, he left his fizzy pink drink on a table and let Lacus take his to the dance floor. He wasn't going to let Athrun, of all people, accuse him of being lax in the boyfriend department.

"I can handle a car door," Shiho said. Her cheeks flushed.

Dearka felt a little bad for embarrassing her when it was Yzak he was annoyed with. "Sorry," he mumbled before Yzak could start in on him. "Let's head inside."

Yzak glared at him but didn't say anything, which he was glad for. He led them toward the door. Yzak offered Shiho his arm, and he wondered just what had happened between them. It had to be something, to bring about such a change in Yzak. Dearka could barely tell the commander had been through puberty, with the way he ignored any chance at companionship. It was possible he just wasn't interested, and he was very busy so his claims that he had too much else to do could be true. But other ZAFT personnel made time for private lives when Yzak seemed to purposely ignore it. It got to the point where Dearka felt bad about making time to date, himself.

He hoped Yzak had finally seen Shiho as a woman. She was smart and dedicated, just the sort of person Yzak would be good with. And Dearka had a feeling that she saw something in her commander that most people overlooked. He hoped it worked out.

"You look pretty lost in thought," a woman's voice said.

"Sorry," he said instinctively. Then he looked at the person who spoke.

It was her. Of course she would find him not even five minutes into the night. She looked lovely. Her hair was up, which she hardly ever did. Her dress had no sleeves or straps and left her shoulders and collarbone exposed. She wore a simple, delicate-looking necklace with glittering pale blue stones.

Dearka had never seen her dressed up before, and the sight made his chest tight.

"Miriallia," he breathed.

"It's good to see you," she said with a small smile. "I heard you got a promotion recently. Congratulations."

All the things that they'd said, that needed to be said between them, and she started off with pleasantries and a remark about his new rank? He almost couldn't believe it.

But they were in public, and the conversation he wanted to have with her was best had in private.

"Thank you," he said instead of anything he really wanted to tell her. "I... I'm glad to see you doing well."

"Same. I worried about you. I heard the Joule Team was on the front lines the whole time, in the war."

"Yeah," he admitted. "Our main job is to protect PLANT. So we were pretty busy." The Requiem laser had rendered much of their efforts moot, and he hoped she didn't say anything.

She glanced away from him with a clouded look in her eyes. "It was a tough time," she said. "I'm glad you made it."

"Yeah," he said. He felt out of words already.

"I need to say Hi to Kira," she said, looking back at him. "Save a dance for me, okay? We still need to catch up some more." She smiled at him.

"Sure thing." He grinned back. "I can't wait." As he watched her go, he decided he was telling the truth.

"Those are important things, though," Athrun said with a laugh. "Eventually you'll know where the restrooms are on every floor."

"Oh, stop it." Kira paused to punch in his security code to unlock the door and motioned Athrun inside.

Kira's office was sparse, which only proved Lacus's point that they needed to buy things for it. There was a standard-issue desk and chair, a small shelf unit that held an empty water bottle, and a wastepaper basket.

"Not even moved in and already making a mess? Kira, really," Athrun scolded him. He set the bags of supplies on the desk and moved the empty bottle to the basket.

"It was one bottle. That's hardly a mess!" Kira dropped his bags on the chair. "You haven't changed at all. Still a nag."

Athrun cocked an eyebrow at him. "Someone needs to keep you in line, and I'm the one here now to do it." He helped him unpack the bags as they talked.

"What are you going to do when you're back in Orb, dummy? Call me to make sure I eat lunch?" Kira knew he had been a troublesome kid, but sometimes Athrun still acted like he was ten. He'd grown up but Athrun didn't seem to want to acknowledge it, at least not when they were alone. Nevermind that Athrun was the younger by a whole five months.

"I programmed it into Torii, actually," Athrun said. "Now he gives a recorded message at mealtimes."

Kira gawked at him. "I haven't turned off Torii except for maintenance, you know. Ever since the day I got him. But I think I might deactivate him now!" The robotic bird flapped as if in emphasis.

"Relax. I didn't really program anything into him. His CPU isn't big enough for any more features." He tucked the empty bags into the first one they unloaded.

"Jerk."

Athrun just smiled at him. "I'm sure you'll be fine. I'll try not to worry."

"You'll be too busy to worry about me, helping Cagalli. Did she tell you if she was coming for the party? I asked a while ago but she put me off."

Athrun frowned and shook his head. "She said... she's too busy taking care of things to leave Orb. She's sending Lieutenant Amagi and some Rear Admiral from the Mashima Family to represent Orb, since I don't have any official duties yet."

"Oh. That's too bad. Lacus wanted to see her. I did, too." He turned away from Athrun and started tearing the packaging off his new desk lamp. "It's hard, isn't is? Being with someone important."

Athrun reached for another item to unwrap. "Yeah. It is."

Her sister said she had a crush on him, when she tried to convey the respect she held for Yzak. She'd been embarrassed at the time. Yzak was her commander, and she was conscious of the need for politeness and propriety in their interactions. She certainly didn't think of him like other teenagers did of someone who caught their fancy. She admired his experience and intelligence, and the gentle side he had shown when he had helped her with her mobile suit's beam cannons. They'd been experimental still, and his input was invaluable in getting them working. While he helped her, they spoke briefly of the war. He wanted it to end, and she respected that. Even though he was a soldier, he felt the foolishness of war and sought to protect his men. She respected that, too, and felt like he was a commander she could truly follow. 

Except for a brief period when she was assigned to South America and he was managing his mother's position on PLANT, they had been together since CE 71, almost three years now. Shiho could admit to herself that she might have a little crush on her commander. Just a little. But she would never cross the bounds of their positions. Which meant that she wouldn't squeal that even Yzak had sleepless nights and made mistakes with inputting field displays. She would protect his reputation.

And if the memory of Yzak Joule with mussed hair and pajama pants made her smile to herself, well, she was still young and she was allowed to do silly things on occasion.

"Good morning, everyone," Yzak said in the same tone he always had in the morning- commanding, serious, a little stern, but not unapproachable. 

"Good morning, Commander," the crew answered back, ignoring the fact that it was nearly noon.

"You're late," Dearka pointed out. "Rough night?"

"Shut up, Dearka," Yzak said without breaking stride. He'd obviously expecting a comment from his Deputy Commander. "How are the systems checks? I left instructions for them to be started at ten."

"Under way, sir. All green so far."

"Good. The Joule Team will not be caught unawares, even in peacetime."

Shiho smiled. She was glad the usual Commander was back. She turned to leave, her status report given already, and nearly ran into him. "Sorry, Commander!"

He made a small grunting noise and didn't quite meet her eye. "Yes, well, I need to speak with you anyway. About the mobile suits check. Come with me."

"Yes, sir."

She followed him off the bridge, curious about why he needed the check report and couldn't listen on the bridge, or get it from Dearka whom she'd given it to. He usually trusted Dearka and his other officers to handle the systems checks, and took the report once it was completed.

"Thank you for this morning," he started once they were walking down the hall. "I wasn't at my best."

"We all have those kinds of days, sir," she assured him.

"I don't, not in public," he said, a snap to his voice and a frown on his lips. "And I appreciate you not making it public." He took a breath. "That's not the only thing. There is a... formal gathering in four days. I would like you to come with me. Me and Dearka. To represent ZAFT and the Joule Team."

"The armistice celebration?"

"Yes. That." He walked stiffly compared to usual and still wouldn't look at her, even though she walked at his side. She could swear she saw some pink in his cheeks. "It is a white tie event, non-uniform. Will you be able to get something together?" His tone had turned gruff, but somehow Shiho didn't think it was because he really doubted her ability to find a fancy dress. There was something else going on. She just didn't know what.

"I'm sure I can. I have a dress from my sister's wedding, and three days to shop if it's not an option," she said, keeping her voice calm like she had to reassure him. He had probably never seen her in a dress, after all. Their relationship was strictly professional and ended at the door of the ship.

"Very good." He nodded and finally looked at her. He was a little flushed. "I'm sorry it's so short notice. I realized that you... maybe would want to go to such a thing."

"I'd be happy to accompany you, Commander," she told him, and she smiled at him. He really did seem like he needed the reassurance.

"Good. Thank you." His shoulders dropped back to their usual position as he relaxed. 

"Ah, sir?" Shiho asked after he didn't say anything for a moment. 

"Hmm?"

"Did you want the report on the mobile suit checks?"

His brows furrowed. "Was there a problem?"

"No sir, but you said you needed to talk to me about them?"

"Hell no," he said, the informality slipping out. "Sorry. I just didn't want to talk to you about the party in front of everyone. Besides, if Dearka can't handle taking the systems check reports on a ship in its best condition, then he doesn't deserve that black jacket he just got." He waved a hand, dismissing the issue. 

"Of course, sir," Shiho said, purposely bland to keep herself from chuckling at the Commander's light tone. 

"I'll be in my office. You're dismissed." And he strode down the hall to the elevator that led to the offices. 

It wasn't until a few hours later that Shiho realized he had, in a roundabout and overly official way, asked her on a date.

She blinked at him. It wasn't often that he joked with crew members besides Deputy Commander Dearka Elsman. At least, she was fairly certain that was a joke. He was still calling her by her given name, which usually indicated an informal situation. She wasn't sure she wanted to try him and find out.

"Do you... want to go over it with someone?" she asked. She set the folder she carried on the CIC's chair. It would be a while before they came in and it wasn't a vital document, just some homework for her Intro to Particle Engineering course. Her professor liked the feel of hard copies; Shiho was more comfortable with digital work but one had to indulge their teachers. So if the Voltaire's CIC came in and saw her homework, it wasn't a problem.

Yzak made a noncommittal noise at her question. She'd never seen him quite as out-of-sorts, and decided to interpret it as assent. She came over to the table and surveyed the scene he had set up.

The holographic displayed a sector of space. It looked like Lagrange Four; there where O'Neil cylinder colonies and one PLANT that was probably Armory One. There was also a large asteroid where the proposed Armory Two was going to go, once it was built.

That area was supposed to be clear.

"Commander," Shiho said slowly, "is Messiah really that close to Armory One?"

He scowled at her, then at the display, then back at her. "Are you telling me that I have been tripping up over this simulation for four hours because I input the field wrong?" he asked in a low voice. He sounded like he was simmering.

"That seems to be the most likely culprit," she said, pointing at the holographic Messiah. "Sorry, sir."

"Arrgh! Aaaathruun!" He threw up his hands. "This is what I get for trying to do anything requiring intelligence when that idiot has rubbed off on me! I am going back to bed. Not a word of this simulation or my sleepwear to anyone. Remember, grounds for court martial." He looked so fierce that she politely waited until the bridge door closed behind him before giggling.