when they love you, this is what they do

I will do anything to be free

Even escape?

I dont know. Can i do that

i dont think ive ever preheated the oven. not even once. i do not believe in preheating the oven

to those who care i just preheated the oven for the first time ever and put some nuggets in there. in fifteen or so minutes we'll find out if my life will irrevocably change

day two of preheating the oven this time im going for supermarket pizza stay tuned

he only got two eyes

this is hands down one of the funniest fuckjgn posts on this website

beautiful women named magenta cartridge low are trying to contact me on my printer

You just know the ye olde peasants went NUTS at that last part

We don’t say sblood enough we should bring it back

One time i tried to explain this to someone at a party and i stopped in the middle of it because i realized how stupid i was sounding

"oh to be a fly on the wall" is such a funny way to express yearning to be present at an exclusive moment/event to me because it's like. i don't care if i'm an insignificant pest as long as i get to be involved. oh no human interaction for me thanks i just want to eavesdrop on you :)

a part of me dies every time a grown woman in my life uses the terms "girl math" or "girl dinner" or what fucking ever like i don't care if it's silly or ironic because there are people out there who do not see it as silly or ironic and use it to embolden their misogynistic beliefs and you should not have to demean yourself because of a dumb online trend when you are a smart capable talented complex human being can you please treat your mind and body with the love they deserve