cruel intentions

Leo: lmao I know

Leo: did I tell you about the nurse guy I met??

Alex: No you haven't

Lila hesitated, unsure of whether this man wanted to chat or not. But she had his attention and she’d use it for just as long as she had it. “Yes, of course. I just–I had never heard that song before but you sang with such passion it really struck a nerve with me. What was the name of the song?” She asked quietly, smiling kindly. She could still see his eyes were glassy, and she bit her lip. “I-well, I’m Lila.” She jutted her hand out awkwardly, and cursed herself. this is why you don’t have friends, Delilah.

Alex could notice how nervous the girl was. He knew he couldn’t do anything about that other than just treat her normally and hope for her to loosen up. “Oh, thank you so much, really!” he was still in shock that someone thought he was great at singing, but he went with that. “Oh, it’s I’m a Mess by Bebe Rexha. I was so glad they had this song, even though it’s a new release!” he had a small smile on his face. “I’m Alex, nice to meet you! Wanna grab a drink?”

“As a perfectionist myself, I get having to make a million tiny changes until I’m satisfied–– but I do actually try not to do it in such a way that it’s a huge burden on other people. If anything, I burden MYSELF with my need for perfection.” She looked the other up and down curiously for a moment before inquiring, “So, are you an artist yourself? I’m assuming not like the type I’ve described, of course, if so.”

“Oh, c’mon, there’s a total difference between wanting perfection and just wanting to be rude and annoying. Some people I’ve worked with actually wanted some flaws on their makeup just so people would talk about it, can you believe it?” Alex rolled his eyes. “Well, I do consider myself and artist. I work with makeup.”

“they can reach me on my phone number, twitter, facebook page, and even instagram since it’s on my calling card that was being given around to guests.” she genuinely smiled at her friend as she had an arm snaking on his shoulders. “c’mon, we’re going home!”

“Ugh why are you so stubborn?” Alex rolled his eyes and headed towards the door so they could leave the place “Y’know what? I have the best friend on earth.”

Being relatively anti-social from his sheltered upbringing, it took having his ears chewed for him to realise he’d gone too far. “Right, yeah. Sorry, you’re right.” he took a small step back, easily frightened. “I didn’t mean for you to get hurt. I was just caught up in the music and…y’know?” He probably didn’t know. Baylen assumed himself the only one that could be so foolish as to put music over common sense. “I’ll just leave, actually. I was just..” he took continuing small steps back, hoping to eventually cease to exist.

Alex knew he had fucked up. He probably shouldn’t have acted like that, but he was just so caught up in the moment it kinda freaked him out when someone out of the blue, that he never met before started asking all those personal questions. “I- I’m sorry, it was my fault.” he said, smirking at the stranger. “I’m Alex, so sorry I was rude.” he truly apologized. “I just hate talking about my past, that’s all. It wasn’t your fault.”

He nodded, listening to the other closely as they mentioned the song owning a fair significance to them. He wasn’t a man of particular depth but he understood the feeling of really connecting with a particular song or two. Those were the kinds of songs that would inspire him to write. In hope to create something like that, if not for others, at least for himself. A catharsis. “It’s great that you have that hang on to. Can I ask why it hits so close? I understand if you don’t want to say. Sometimes songs stick with me if they’re about being lonely or stuff like that.” he shrugged, hoping if he opened up a little the other would do the same.

Alex was not in the mood for talking about his sorrows, so when the unknown man asked why a song like I’m a miss hit him so close to home, he couldn’t stop himself from rolling his eyes. “Uh- I don’t think that’s any of your business?” Alex raised an eyebrow, now curious about that man. Who asked such personal questions when they just met someone?

Lila had no honest idea why she was even in this bar, let alone on a school night. Which, as she repeated that in her head, made her realize how stupid she sounded. She was 28 and her life was still ruled by that seven to 3 lifestyle. and yet, she wouldn’t trade it for the world. her students were her pride and joys–they always seemed to make up for the fact that she had no life and had moved across half the world for…well, for what might amount to nothing. but regardless, here she was, sitting in one of the booths close to the stage, watching this younger looking gentleman sing a very sad song. lila couldn’t tell you what the song was–because she hadn’t been privy to the new pop music of this day and age. but she could tell you this man was not doing so well. as the song ended, she moved slowly toward him, and tapped him on the shoulder. “excuse me, uh, i just wanted to tell you how wonderful you sounded up there. you really seemed to connect with the song.” she smiled softly.

Alex let the stage trying not to burst into tears. He knew how emotional he got by singing that song, and his only wish was to leave the bar and go home, so he could eat something and cry himself to sleep. He was about to head out when a girl moved towards him and started talking. He so desperately wanted to show that he wasn’t really in the mood for small talking, but he’d never be stupid to someone. “Oh- Uh- thank you?” he was really confused. He never thought he was a good singer, so for him to have someone say something good about his singing made him confuse.

Leo: you really do

Leo: I'm both flattered and freaked out

emilia helped her friend in tidying up, smiled as soon as they’re both ready to go. “oh, please. you wouldn’t want to be romantically involved with me. you’d be much happier with just being friends with me.” she chuckled softly. “i wouldn’t blame you, though. oh, okay! whenever you’re ready.” the girl adds as she leads them out of the bathroom, then made sure she didn’t get anyone’s attention as they made their way out of the venue.

“Em, are you sure you don’t want to stay? This is your big moment!” Alex said, hating himself for making her feel like she had to go with him. “I can stay, really. I’ll just entertain myself and wait for you. I’m actually feeling a lot better now.” he truly wanted to go home, but he knew he had to be there for her like she was always there for him.

“alex, baby. listen to me.” emilia said, propping her friend up and looking at him dead in the eye to let him know how serious she is. “don’t always blame yourself, okay? i’ve seen how you did everything to save whatever you two had, and to be honest, it was him who eventually gave up on you. it wasn’t your fault, and you’re certainly the best anyone could have in their lives. stop seeing yourself as nothing but trash, because honey, you’re gold.” she ended her little speech with a genuine smile, then pulled him in for another hug. if there’s one thing that em greatly believes in, is that alex does not deserve to feel this way. he did nothing awful to anyone. “or we could go to our ice cream shop and bribe the waiter to play our favorite songs while we ugly cry and eat our ice creams?” she chuckled, before letting go of the little moment they’re having. “but seriously, alex. you’re the best. you shouldn’t degrade yourself just because someone left you. why mop around when you can just improve yourself and make that person sorry for leaving you, right?”

“I- I just wanna go home for a bit.” he said, standing up and hugging Emilia. “You’re so amazing, I don’t deserve you.” he kissed her on the cheek and stared at her. “If only I wasn’t gay! Why do I have to love men so much? Ugh!” he laughed, already feeling a bit better. “I’ll explain you the whole situation later, okay? I just wanna go home for a bit, get some sleep and maybe text that daddy so I can get some good dicking for once.”

as a good friend, emilia went over to her purse to see if she’s still has a few wipes left. luckily, she does and crouched in front of her friend to clean up the mascara mess on his face. she just wished he used a waterproof one, but it definitely gave her an idea on what to give him for his birthday. “i’m not really the emotional type of girl, but i get where you’re coming from. but i also have to tell you this: you have to stop blaming yourself all the damn time, alex.” her words came out soft and sincere, then she continued to clean up his eyes. “because if you don’t, they’re really gonna suck the life out of you and it’s gonna be you who loses.” the female then throws away the used wipes, then fixed her friend’s shirt that was a bit messed up due to the crying and hugging they did. she just felt bad that he had to remember how that felt, and somehow, she’s the one who’s got the ideas on how it’ll be off of his head soon. “you wanna get outta here and get the drinks i promised you earlier instead?”

Alex stopped crying when Emilia started cleaning the mess on his face. He definitely didn’t expect crying, otherwise he’d have a waterproof mascara on. “How can I not blame myself, Em?” his voice was cracking, anyone hearing him could feel how powerless he felt. “I love him. I truly do. I only think about him, and it’s not once or twice, it’s all the time. I’m afraid he’s the one for my, but I’m not the one for him.” this was coming from the deepest places in his heart and mind. “We always hear all about having one true love, the soulmate, but can anyone truly be sure that it’s really a match? What if his mine, but I’m not his? He’s so perfect Em.” he couldn’t hate him. Never. He knew how wrong he was by thinking that, but it all made sense for him. “I feel like absolute trash. I know it’s my fault. I wasn’t good enough, I’ll never be. Not for him, not for you, not for anyone.” all of his insecurities were out, and still he haven’t told her anything about what happened, but now he felt like he should. When she mentioned the drinks, he thought it could be a good opportunity to brush things off and calm down, but he knew she needed to stay there. “No, no. Please, I wanna stay. You’re having a blast here and you’re clearly a favorite!”

Baylen wasn’t overly lyrically inclined, but could appreciate the instrumentals that accompanied many drunk cat choirs that descended upon the small stage. He liked karaoke bars, but, would never partake himself. It was a place for him to watch others and fantasise about his dream of playing piano for thousands upon thousands. If only he wasn’t so nervous to even put his foot in the door. If he was going to learn courage and devotion to the arts from anybody, it was this guy in front of him. Watching the way he seemed to hobble about the stage. He wasn’t just singing the song, he was being it. When the song ended, Baylen couldn’t help but approach the other. “That was amazing up there.” he chimed, giving the other an innocent smile, hoping they wouldn’t find rudeness in his approaching. “You really put on a show, man. What’s your secret?”

Alex was actually surprised someone approached him to congratulate him on the singing. He never thought he could actually sing, but maybe he was wrong. When he heard that he put on a show, he couldn’t help but laugh, because maybe he really did, and maybe that somewhat had to do with people’s perception that he was great. “Whoa, thank you so much!” he smiled at the unkown man. “I’ve watched every Britney Spears performance ever, that might be it,” he said jokingly, even though it was completely true. “I was really into the song, it hits close to home.”

karaoke bars were not tate’s normal scene, that much was for sure. people either thought it was a superbowl halftime show performance, or they were too drunk to even read the correct words as they flashed across the screen. but this just so happened to be the closest bar to his flat. so unfortunately, it was where he ended up when he’d had a long day and decided last minute to get a drink before going back home. he’d learned to tune out the amateur singing, like he was tonight, and focused more on the drink in his hand.

Alex finished his song and heard no claps, obviously. Some people giggled, which was fine by him, but he desperately needed a drink. As he approached the bar counter, he spotted a place to sit down and drow his sorrows and tears in alcohol. “Uh- is this seat taken?” he asked the male with a drink on his hand. “Sorry for the terrible singing by the way.”

“go hang out with harry styles, then!” emilia playfully rolled her eyes, then she just jumped on him for a bear hug to let him know that she didn’t mean that. she’d hate it if alex would just stop hanging out with her, and she’d even hate it more if she finds out that she was being replaced. just then, she realized that alex’s tears were flowing. “shit!” she muttered, then lead him to the bathroom so that he’d be comfortable in letting every inch of the emotions that he’s feeling. she held him close, running a hand on his back as she lowly hushes him down. she didn’t know the right words to say, so they just stayed there for a couple of minutes until alex is ready.

“He never cared about me, Em!” Alex was screaming at his best friend, and he felt like the worst person in the world for ruining her moment, but he got so emotional by her work that he just couldn’t hold it anymore. “I- I want to hate him. I really do. I just want to forget about everything, I just want to feel free. I don’t want to think about him anymore. It fucking hurts. It hurts like FUCKING hell.” now he was basically whispering, and he was afraid Emilia wouldn’t hear anything. Saying that out loud was something he forbid himself to do. He never felt comfortable sharing his emotions, and feeling so vulnerable was something he truly hated. “And the worst part is me. I feel so ashamed. I feel like it’s my fault, I feel like I’m the one who did him wrong all the time. Do you know how bad it is that you know someone is wrong but you can only see the beauty in them? Like they could do no wrong, even though he’s been sucking you dry out of life. Like- like a vampire or something.” Alex had no strength to keep crying anymore, but he simply couldn’t stop. He wasn’t wearing too much makeup, but he was sure mascara was running all over his face.

Leo: but why are you so petty

Leo: I know you’re jealous that I have better hair but wow

Alex: i was just kidding jeez

Leo: that is the biggest lie I’ve ever read

Leo: I could put a black light in your mouth and prove it

Alex: yeah and the biggest lie you've ever heard was when your mom told you you were pretty

Alex: haha jk you're gorgeous!!!!!!

Leo: I NEVER SAID NO

Leo: GO FOR IT YOU WEIRDO

Alex: WHERE WHEN HOW