Pretty Guardian

sorry this is so much better than the dog one 

They all look completely unabashed and unrepentant for their crimes

the funniest thing i’ve ever heard on a multiplayer online game period was when I was playing competitive overwatch and this dude took THE LOUDEST AND LONGEST bong hit i have ever heard and then said completely without context “my mom’s boyfriend is pressing assault charges against me.” “why” “for assaulting him” 

i logged on to twitter.com and saw somebody say “plutonium is fictional because it doesnt exist in nature”. which, one, i dont think is entirely true, im fairly certain trace amounts of plutonium exist in natural uranium deposits, and two, that is such a frankly wonderfully incorrect definition of fictional and im deeply intrigued by the implications. concrete is fictional. polyester doesnt exist

“Not if I digest it first” is an official human motto, in close competition with “not if I pet it first”.

That’s a BIG BIRD!

SO CUTEEE

Accidentally clicking on the trending tab on youtube is like being transported to a parallel reality where being funny is banned

PERCHED💅🏼

We should all be in fear of anyone strong enough to balance and literally support their entire mass in that pose on tiptoes.

She ain’t even wearing a decent heel support like the lady behind her. No, this queen is wearing goddamn stilettos. You know how hard it is to walk in stilettos, let alone balance your weight on one foot? And she’s doing more than that, she’s literally resting all her weight on that foot. This is insane, she could kick all of our asses.

Shes smiling.

She knows the power she wields

pandemic or not why do y’all get so close to people in line at the store

mr clean off the shits

when I saw the original I didn’t laugh but this sent me

sent you where

To Walmart