grrah

"Hey, wake up. We're here."

You were nudged awake as the car started slowing down.

Everyone got their luggage and started towards the house. You all decided to explore a bit. The kitchen was fairly standard, as was the living room. They had a really big bathroom, with a huge bathtub taking up half the room. And then you got to the master bedroom. If the bathroom was big, this room was truly fit for a king. A huge bed took up a third of the room, with a massive wooden vanity and an (albeit empty) walk in closet.

"Holy shit..."

"Dude are you seeing this?"

"Fuck yeah I'm seeing it!" Noah said, jumping into the bed. The soft plush covers practically swallowed him whole as he sank into the mattress.

Even you couldn't stay silent, "This is insane... who's gonna sleep here?"

They all looked at you, a little confused.

"We're all sleeping here, man." Noah said.

"Yeah the bed is big enough." Kaiser added.

Assuming they were only talking about themselves, you asked, "is there a guest bedroom for me then?"

"What? Dude-" Noah started but Isa interrupted.

"We'd like for you to stay here with us," he explained calmly, "The bed is more than big enough for four and we'd hate for you to feel left out."

"Oh it's not that it's just...well...I'm a girl and all y'know?"

You didn't quite know why you were protesting so much. It's not like you really had a problem sleeping in the same bed with them. But you were a woman and they were men. It...it was just the way things were.

Kaiser placed a hand gently on your shoulder, "I already told you, you don't need to worry. We're not gonna try anything weird. We just don't wanna leave you out."

"...Okay then," you set your suitcase off to the side.

"Attaboy," Noah said, climbing off the bed. You tried to push off the way those words sat in your head.

"I think I'm gonna make us some dinner," Isa said, heading towards the kitchen.

"I'll help," Noah called, following him out.

Kaiser glanced at you. The long drive had made you feel sort of dusty and dirty. Maybe it was the air here. "I think I'm gonna take a shower."

"Alright. Meet us for dinner then."

"Okay."

The bathtub felt as nice as it looked. Warm and inviting, you slipped in with a sigh. Running soapy hands over your body, you thought about the way they had been treating you. 'Attaboy,' 'man,' 'dude,' it's like they saw you as one of their own. And the way they touched you, a little rough but protective, it felt good. Really good. Way better than when a man normally touched you, all lustful and greedy. Kaiser wasn't lying when he said they weren't going to try anything. You almost found yourself wanting more. Thinking about them roughhousing with you, pushing you around, getting into play fights... you pushed the thought away. You wanted them to treat you like a boy? You looked down at your body. Your long slender legs and big chest and tiny wrists. You worked some shampoo through your long hair. A boy? Yeah, right. You couldn't change biology, no matter how hard you tried. You got out of the bath and dried off. Staring at yourself in the mirror, you sighed. You'd probably make for such a pretty boy if you were one. What a waste.

You joined the boys in the kitchen just as they were finishing dinner.

"Hey, you're back. We made pasta and there's some garlic bread too if you want some. Soda is in the fridge." Isa explained while stirring a pot. Damn, it smelled good.

You took a bowl of pasta, underserving yourself as usual even though you were hungry, taking one piece of garlic bread and opting for water. The boys all glanced at each other.

Noah spoke first, "you're not taking more?"

You shook your head, "I'm not that hungry."

"Nonsense," he replied, taking your bowl and practically doubling the portion, "eat properly. We made more than enough."

You were about to protest when you're stomach growled. Embarrassed, you just took the bowl and ate. Surprisingly, you didn't feel bloated afterwards. Just satisfied.

Once everyone was done, you all went to the bedroom. Kaiser left to go shower and Noah sat back in the bed, turning on the TV and switching to some sports channel.

You sat back as well, keeping some distance from him. You partially understood the rules of the sport, but not enough to understand when the crowd cheered or booed.

Isa rummaged around in his suitcase for a minute before taking out an old t-shirt and some pajama pants. You thought he'd go to another room to change but, to your surprise, he just changed right there in the corner of the room. Face quickly flushing, you looked away, shielding your eyes out of both respect and embarassment. Did he forget you were there or something?

Noah nudged your shoulder, chuckling a little, "Calm down, man. It's nothing you haven't seen before."

Isa spoke up too, "yeah, you don't need to freak out. We're all guys here."

That really caught your attention. You could brush off the other things they were saying, but this?

"What are you talking about, I'm not-" Isa waved his hand, cutting you off.

"You're close enough. You're basically one of us at this point."

Your breath caught a bit, the fight in your words dying out. You muttered some half formed response and sat back against the headboard again, eyes darting between the TV and Isa's body and your feet infront of you. You were one of them. You weren't an outlier here. Was that a good thing? It shouldn't be, you thought. You were a woman, you had no place acting like this with men. You were in no position to pretend like you could be close to these guys without them wanting you. But that's what was happening. This game of play-pretend would end soon, you knew. Someone would think with their dick a little too much and spoil everything. As much as that was true, you still let yourself enjoy whatever peace this was. Maybe you could be "one of the guys," at least for a couple of days. It's more brotherhood friendship than was ever afforded to you by your girl friends.

You didn't realize how long you had been in your own head until Kaiser came out of the bathroom, sweats hungs low on his hips and a towel around his bare shoulders, his hair still damp. Despite Isa's earlier words, you still glanced away out of respect. He didn't seem to mind. He took a seat on the bed beside you.

"Hey," his voice was softer than usual, "you alright?"

Noah chuckled, "Seems she gets flustered around us sometimes,"

Kaiser smiled, "You don't gotta worry y'know."

"I know," you responded, toying with the ends of your hair and keeping your gaze in your lap.

Kaiser reached out, gently taking a strand of your hair and twisting it between his fingers, "Your hair is so long."

You looked up at him, "Yeah, I haven't cut it in a while."

"Do you want to?"

You blinked. "What?"

"I know how to cut hair."

"I- right now? I don't need a haircut it's fine-"

Noah clapped you on the shoulder again, "C'mon it'll be fun. And Kaiser's good, don't worry. He cuts our hair too."

You looked at him. Noah did have pretty good hair, you had to admit. After another minute of thinking it over, you sighed.

"Okay. Fine. But don't make me look ugly."

Kaiser laughed and pulled you up from the bed, "Don't worry, the others would have my head if I do."

You followed him into the bathroom, Isa and Noah trailing behind. You felt a little buzz of excitement as Isa pulled a chair in from the bedroom and you sat down.

"Do you care if your shirt gets a bunch of hair on it?" Kaiser asked.

Oh. You hadn't really thought about that. "Uh, yeah, kinda."

"You might wanna take your shirt off then,"

Your eyes went wide. Kaiser sat on the edge of the bathtub behind you and put a gentle hand on your shoulder, "Don't worry. I'm not gonna try anything or stare. I just want to make things easier."

You fiddled with the hem of your shirt. They had seen you shirtless once before, but you hadn't meant for it to happen. And besides, that only lasted for a minute while you fumbled around for a shirt. You looked around. They weren't looking at you with excitement or anticipation or anything else that might suggest ulterior motives. You took a deep breath, held it, and took your shirt off. You kept your eyes down, expecting some kind of comment, but nothing came. At the silence, you relaxed and looked back at Kaiser. He was still sitting there on the edge of the tub, waiting.

"You ready?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, let's do this."

He started by combing your hair, getting the knots out gently. You let your muscles relax, your shoulders dropping as your hands stopped fidgeting. Kaiser, internally, was a little relieved. He was right. As hesitant as you were, you weren't fighting this. He made sure to be gentle with you, not wanting to freak you out or pull your hair. As he combed your hair, he would briefly run his fingers through it, massaging the scalp a little. You exhaled softly at the touch, relaxing even more, almost forgetting that you were shirtless in front of three grown men. It's not like that held any power though. As far as you could tell, none of them cared. You let your eyes close, enjoying the little bits of pampering you were getting. Isa chuckled softly, but you didn't mind.

Kaiser finally spoke up, his voice soft as to not break the atmosphere, "I'm gonna start cutting your hair now, alright?"

You nodded, keeping your eyes closed. You weren't really nervous anymore. You trusted Kaiser, at least to some degree, to not mess you up. The sounds from the scissors sounded really close to your ear, though.

"Are you cutting it short?" You asked.

"Not too short," he responded, "but yes."

"Oh...it's not some pixie cut though is it?"

"No, nothing that short. It's a little shaggy. Just keep your eyes closed. You'll see at the end."

"Okay."

He had noticed your shoulders get a little tenser afterwards, so he switched between cutting your hair and just combing through until you relaxed again. You swore you could have fallen asleep right there.

"Alright. We're done."

You blinked your eyes open and took a look at yourself, and...

"Woah."

You hesitated to even touch it. It was short, really short compared to before. But it wasn't bad. It was shaggy and loose and it matched your face. It made your face look a little more angular too, somehow. Kaiser chuckled from behind you, watching your reaction through the mirror.

"You like it?"

"...It's really short."

"Well, yeah. But it suits you."

And he was right. As much as your long hair got you compliments, you never really liked it. But this, you liked this. "...Thank you."

Kaiser looked surprised at that. The others did too. He rubbed the back of his neck, "Don't worry about it."

You spent a few more moments looking at yourself in the mirror before rubbing one of your shoulders.

"You alright?" Isa asked.

"Yeah it's just," you looked at Kaiser, "I don't know what you were doing but it felt really good."

Noah spoke up, "Are you sore?"

"Maybe a little. It's nothing unusual though." It was a mistake doing your upper body before the trip, you thought.

"I can give you a massage if you want."

You looked at him, surprised. "Are you sure?"

You rolled your shoulders, feeling the tenseness in your neck as you continued your work, refining the blueprint sketch that would eventually become a CAD model. He watched the movement from afar. Watched how the lines of your throat looked tight, almost restrained.

Kaiser had been noticing these things for a while now. Others had taken note too.

"Hey, Noah, you think...?"

"No, there's no way, look at her."

"But...I mean..."

"Isa be realistic."

They all first noticed on that dinner a few months ago. You had eaten about the same amount as the rest of the women, but you eyed their plates with a hunger you weren't able to fully hide.

Then there was the time at the beach. Where the rest of your girl friends had worn bikinis or one pieces with pride, you wore a swim shirt and leggings. Even then, you looked uncomfortable, like something was holding you back. You didn't swim that day, watching the guys with an unmistakable longing.

The final straw was when you had all gone camping. The girls had decided to go take some photos in the woods but you opted to stay back, gathering materials for the evening bonfire. They had caught you shirtless, your back unmistakably toned.

"Woah, sorry," they all looked away quickly out of reflex, "didn't know you were still here."

"Oh, shit-" you quickly ran to grab a shirt and cover up, but you were weirdly calm about the whole thing, even joking about it later, like it didn't really matter if they saw you in a bra. When recounting this story to the girls casually that evening, your face had gone all red though.

"That's it," Kaiser said once in the boys tent with the other two, "somethings off about her,"

"Maybe she just likes us?" Noah proposed.

"Idiot," Isa smacked him on the back of the head, "she'd have the opposite reaction then,"

"Maybe she likes one of the girls then, I dunno!"

"Or maybe..." The other two quieted down to let him speak, "it's a little crazy but just hear me out okay. She's super reserved. She doesn't like showing her body even though she definitely trains it. She honestly seems more relaxed with us than the girls. And the way she holds herself...it's like she wants to be a boy,"

Noah and Isa thought about that idea for a moment and looked at each other. It sounded crazy, sure, but...it didn't seem too far off.

"I mean," Isa started, "you remember prom? She showed up all fancy but she seemed to hate the whole thing. She just watched the guys dance the whole time."

"And today," Isa added, "the only time she's ever undressed a little is when she's alone. Not even at the beach. And she didn't even seem that flustered. Just startled, if anything. At least when it was us. With the girls it was...well you both saw her didn't you?"

Noah and Kaiser nodded. Your discomfort at the girls teasing you and playfully lamenting their chance to see you a little undressed was more than obvious.

Kaiser sharply set his fist into his palm, "then it's settled."

"Huh?"

"What is?"

"We help her. If she wants to be like us, we help her learn. That only seems fair."

Unbeknownst to you, they spent the rest of the night devising their plot.

The rest of the camping trip came and went as normal. Then, a few weeks later, Kaiser called you,

"Yo, are you free this weekend?"

"The long weekend? Yeah I should be free, why?"

"Me, Noah and Isa were gonna go see a concert a couple hours from here on the Monday. AirBnB and everything. We had another guy coming but he bailed and..."

"You want me to come?" You couldn't quite hide the surprise in your voice. You? Kaiser had like a million dude friends. Why pick the shy girl for a concert?

"Yeah, if it's okay with you. Tickets and the AirBnB are already paid for, you just need to show up."

"Uh, okay. Yeah. Sure. Where is it?"

"Come to Isa's place Friday at 6ish. We'll all drive from there."

"Alright. Sounds cool. Uh, what kind of concert is it?"

"It's...a little heavier. These upcoming rock punky guys. Just wear something casual its not some huge thing."

"Uh, yeah okay. See you Friday."

"Bye, bro."

"Bye." You stared at your phone, completely dumbstruck. What just happened? A rock concert? AirBnB with three dudes? And did he call you "bro"?.

You had to admit, as confused as you were, it was a little exciting. You packed a small suitcase and went to Isa's at 6:30. The guys were already there, seemingly talking about something very serious before you arrived. The moment you entered though, the mood shifted instantly to warm and welcoming. This was exciting. Hanging out with dudes for a weekend? Maybe something interesting would happen.

And boy were you right.

"Hey, you're here, come in, " Isa, ever the perfect host, ushered you in, offering you some tea. Noah and Kaiser were taking up the couch so you hovered a little awkwardly by the armrest. Noah shifted over, making room for you.

"Come sit," he saw your face and laughed a bit, "you look so scared, breathe a bit, dude."

You sat somewhat hesitantly at the edge of your seat, nursing the cup of tea you had gotten. The two boys glanced at each other for a moment before shrugging and going back to their conversation, something about sports. You absently watched the game that was playing on the TV when Isa came in a few minutes later. You were about to ask where he had been before he spoke.

"Alright boys, since we're all here, might as well get going, no?"

Kaiser nodded, "It's a 4 hour drive. Sooner we start the better."

Noah offered you a hand up, and you almost yelped as he tugged you up with entirely too much force, knocking you off balance. He caught your shoulders, steadying you, before Kaiser smacked the back of his head.

"Be careful, idiot. Don't break her."

Noah mumbled something in response as you all got into the car. Isa had kept his luggage in the passenger seat so everyone else's could fit in the back.

"You don't mind sitting in the middle do you?" Kaiser asked.

"Uh..."

"Just because," Isa added, "I don't think any of us would fit."

You looked between the three men. It was probably true. They were all a lot taller and bigger than you were. You weighed the option in your head. It's not like they were strangers. And you knew they would never try to make you uncomfortable.

"...Alright."

"Attagirl," Noah clapped you on the shoulder, making you stumble. Since when was he so touchy?

You all climbed into Isa's car, Kaiser on your left, Noah on your right.

"Everyone alright back there?" Isa called from the driver's seat.

"Yeah"

"Yup"

"And you?" He looked back towards you, legs pressed together, looking all nervous, "you okay? They're not squishing you are they?"

You shook your head, "no, I'm okay."

Isa started the car, "Then we're off!"

No one spoke again until you were on the highway, driving against the setting sun. You watched the sky, beautiful pinks and oranges lit by golden light. But you were still sitting so tense, and they all noticed. Kaiser leaned over to speak in your ear, not wanting to break the silence,

"You seem so tense. Is everything okay?"

His voice was low, almost careful.

"Y-yeah I'm fine."

"You can relax y'know. It's just us. We're not gonna try anything."

"I know..."

Isa, presumably noticing this, turned on the radio to fill the silence. It took you a little bit more time, but eventually, while quietly humming along to some songs, you relaxed. You let your feet sit on either side of that middle "hump" cars always have, your thighs still loosely pressed together. Your shoulders relaxed, hands stopped fidgeting, and as night fell, your eyes began to drift shut. Noah gently pulled you into his shoulder.

"Relax, man. We'll wake you up when we're there."

Too sleepy to protest, you let yourself drift off, brushing off the way they kept calling you "man" or "boy" or "dude", ignoring the way it made you feel good about yourself for once.

"He's finally asleep," Noah whispered, quiet enough not to wake you.

"At least he finally relaxed," Kaiser said, brushing a stray piece of hair from your face and twirling the strand in his fingers, "we need to do something about this."

Noah sighed, "we need to do something about everything."

"Just wait until we get to the AirBnB for all that," Isa said quietly, "let him get used to us first."

"We really have our jobs cut out for us, huh?" Noah said, his arm wrapping around your shoulder, watching the way you curled into him a little, "he's so soft."

"In more ways than one," Kaiser added, "but I have a feeling he'll do this willingly."

"Yeah?" Isa asked, "how come?"

"Have you noticed him all day? Yeah he's a little hesitant, but he hasn't objected to anything. Not us being a little rough, not you calling us all 'boys', not even sitting in the middle, surrounded by men," now Noah was paying attention too, "he's a little soft, yeah, but so far there hasn't been any outright objection. I think as long as we don't do too much at once, things will go smoothly," he reached over and put a hand on your knee, spreading your legs just enough so that you could be more comfortable, "wow, he is soft."

"Told you. At least he's sitting proper now."

"He's gonna need to sit like that after we're done. Isa you brought it, right?" Kaiser asked.

"Yeah, I got the gel kind. Don't wanna freak him out too much."