As Long As I Have, I Will Give

You left your absence, and I still don’t see you and I don’t know where you are. In vain would I go in search of you there where my thought so often went to surprise your dream, your laughter, your game. They’re no longer there, since you took them away; you took them with you to bring them to me, it’s true, but you are still walking between here and there. You are holding my heart suspended entirely above the great void, unable to kiss your body which unequivocably is going to arrive; your absent form escaped too and is still not back from the accustomed absence in which we used to meet, dreaming. Your only life is a wanting to arrive. You live in your transit, in coming towards me, not over the sea, or on land, or in air, which you cross anxiously with your body as if you were traveling. And I, lost and blind, don’t know how to reach you, where you might be,

“…I think I could love you like you probably should be loved but my love is a fish in the wrong kind of water.”