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YOU ARE THE REASON

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@alluringluminescentradiance
http://iglovequotes.net/

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This is how I felt for the past couple of years. I developed depression. I always feel sad.. I donât want to go outside. I donât want people to see me. The worst part of it is that I canât and I didnât tell all about this to my family because I know theyâll never understand..
âYou must find the courage to leave the table if respect is no longer served.â
I know, I couldnât handle it very well. But knowing my worth and loving myself is more important. So I have to go on, move forward far away from you. It breaks my heart just by thinking about you loving someone else, someone who isnât me, but then I have to remind to myself that sometimes love is about letting go..Â
âI think that if life separates us and we end up in totally different places, I'll always remember when our paths aligned for this period of time... And I'll be thankful for that. I hope that wherever you are, you'll be thankful, too. I think that's the best we can wish for.â -Strangers, Again, Wong Fu Productions
My âexâ-boyfriend and I are happy for 21 years.. Then we met.
"I thought he was the one. And we both did.'' -After Us, WongFu Productions.
I donât know what happened between us. I just donât understand you anymore.. You left me feeling like weâd never really been in love. You mastered the word âgoodbyeâ during the times I was sure about you.Â
I was ready, but it still hurt.
HELLO! :D
Hi! :3

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6 months ago, I found out that you cheated on me. For 2 years.. 2 years already and I donât have any idea about it. I thought we were fine as a couple. We see each other like almost everyday of our lives and yes, we do fight, but thatâs just normal âcause thereâs no perfect relationship, right?
I found out that your ex-gf who was with you for 2 years before me was the third party. She was one of your exes that I hated the most. #1 because she always text and chat you when we started dating. #2 I am jealous 'cause sheâs prettier than me. #3 'Cause she is a pretentious bitch.
I am hurt. Iâve never been hurt my whole life like this. I was betrayed by the person I love.
I gave you a second chance. Iâm still hurt until now. Why would you break my heart if you love me? I still donât trust you no matter what you do now. I always think about what you did to me.. But why? Why do I still love you?
someone:Â âomg youâre so pretty!â
me:
talents: feeling like shit

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alternative depression tips for when you read the âdepression tipsâ post and laugh hollowly, bc only in your fondest dreams could you manage to do any of those things
dry shampoo and face wipes are your friend. if you can brush your teeth youâll feel maybe 2% less disgusting. wash your hands.
smelling nice is gr9, rubbing moisturiser in is Exhausting. perfume, scented candles and linen sprays are way quicker.
try to change your clothes at least every other day. wear sweats or pjs as often as you physically can.
you donât need to put on underwear if youâre not leaving the house (that goes double for bras and binders)
drink any water that hasnât been sitting out on your desk for a week. dust doesnât taste good. stay hydrated. I fill one of those 2 litre bottles in the morning and keep it with me so I donât have to get up and walk to the sink.
re: cleaning, try and keep one room vaguely clean. if everywhere else is a shit hole thatâs fine, but you can go sit in your one tidy space and chill for a bit. itâs fine if thatâs the bathroom or just the corner of your bedroom where thereâs no crap on the floor. find a tiny space that isnât horrifying and sit in it.
music helps.
eat a thing. +5 points if it has a fresh fruit or vegetable in it. take out is acceptable if it comes with veggies.
if your creativity curled up and died a long time ago try and find something that at least reminds you what it was like to feel inspired. watch a film, look at some art (probably not your own), read a thing. if that makes you feel worse, just?? donât think about it??
grounding yourself is actually really helpful. open the window and breathe for 2 minutes. lay down on the floor and feel your whole body (unless you donât want to in which case: lay down and donât feel anything except the floor)Â
human interaction is Good. text a family member you donât hate if you have one. message a friend. reply to someoneâs personal post with âSAMEâ. make your own personal post asking the void for validation. stare out the window at people and remind yourself that life exists outside of the black space inside your head. whatever works.
pets are amazing, agreed. watch some funny animal vines if you donât have one.
My bummy ass seriously needed this 2 fucking days ago
DotA 2!
I found this gif from somewhere and I just had to share it. Itâs so cuteeeeeeee! :3
Iâm trying to raise my mmr âcause Iâve been playing with party mmr for awhile. I just wish that Iâll have good teammates. PLEEEEEZ HOMAYGAD.
OUCH.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. My mmr in party and solo are seriously going down. Iâm finding a match right now [Fck SEA, like srsly] even though I promise to take a rest from DotA. Fuuuuu-----. Plez let meh win Almighty GabeN, giff meh q00d t3amm4tes. T^T
Comebacks!
So, 2 MVs were released today! One is from TWICE and the other is from BTS. I was waiting for so long for this lel.
TWICE - Knock Knock: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8A2t_tAjMz8&t=0s
âBaby, knock knock knock knock knock on my door.. ⪠â
Cutesy type again. I ainât complaining âbout that. Itâs pretty catchy imo. Tzuyu, Momo and Dahyun are so pretty as always. Huhu. :3 I didnât like this one but I love it! <3
BTS - Not Today: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DwzBICPhdM&t=0s
âNot not today! Not not today! ⪠â
The boys are back again with an awesome track. V is still handsome (âCAUSE HEâS MY BIAS, DUH?! HAHAHA) and I canât take my eyes off of him while watching the MV, lels. Hahaha. When I watched their teaser, I knew that it will be a bomb (No pun intended. Haha.) and theyâll slay. So yeah, love it! <3
âWhy so bitter?â
bit¡ter /ËbidÉr/ Adjective.   2. (of people or their feelings or behavior) angry, hurt, or resentful because of one's bad experiences or a sense of unjust treatment.   example:   "a bitter woman"
Bakit nga ba? Maybe, you should ask yourself too. ;)
I donât really like to post this. But yes, Iâm still bitter. Iâm angry and still hurt. You canât blame me, almost 2 years din yun na wala akong idea sa panloloko sakin about your âunlabeled relationshipâ. Sanay na ako ma-betray, ilang beses na ako na-betray by friends or acquaintances. Pero this one really hurt my feelings. Pero Iâm trying to move on na. Mas naging okay ako ngayon, Iâm happier now than before. Past should make me a better person and not a bitter person. Because who likes to be a bitter person for a long time, right? They are annoying and not fun to be with. So ayun, time heals all wounds, but not this one. Not yet. Just a little more time.
Yes, biktima ka din. Pero mas naagrabyado ako. Dalawa naman kasi choices mo eh, (1) to stay away or (2) to continue the wrong things you have started with my boyfriend. You chose the second one, to wait hanggang sa mawala ako, na magbreak kami, hoping na magiging kayo after that. Yun ay dahil nga nagmahal ka. Ha-ha-ha. I canât blame you, even the smartest people can be stupid when in love with someone. Char. :))
Mahirap mag-move on lalo naât may anxiety ako. Iâm trying, though. So ayun, sorry to bother you sometimes, for asking too much questions. I appreciate it so much. Thank you sa effort. :>
But hey, I'm just here to answer your question/post. xx

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âANG KWENTO NG LUMAMIG NA PUTAHEâ
Unang beses kong magluluto. Baboy. Toyo. Suka. Laurel. At paminta. Para saâyo. Alam kong paborito mo âyun e. Paminta. Shoot sa banga. Gisa. Halo. Kulo. Hintay. Hum ng random song ng APO. Charan! Sabi ni Chef Boy Lagro, ganyan daw gumawa ng adobo. Tinikman ko pagkatapos. Masarap. Para sa sinigang, okay siya ha. Kaso adobo âyung ipinangako ko, pero ang ihahain ko saâyo, abobo. Sobra sa asim, sobra sa alat, sobra sa mantika, sobra sobra sobra. Bobo. Kapag ibinuhos mo pala lahat, âyung halos walang matira sa basyo, pwedeng hindi rin masarap ang kalabasan. Na pwedeng ang kalabisan, âyun mismo ang maging pagkukulang.
Sumubo ka isang kutsara. Nakakatawa kung paano kumulubot ang mga ugat sa noo, kung paano kumulot ang kilay na makapal, at nagparamdam ang nginig sa boses pagkasabing, âHmmm. Ayos naman. Kulang sa paminta PERO Naappreciate ko naman po âyung effort mo. Ang sweeeeet nga e.â
Sweet? Ibig sabihin, pati sa asukal, sobra ang nailagay ko? Pati pala sa tamis, bawal ang sobra?
Sobra sobra ang ibinigay kong pagmamahal saâyo kaya ibinihagi mo rin sa iba. Oo, matagal ko nang nginunguya ang katotohanan na habang tiyinatiyaga mo ang putahe ko, may iba ka pang puta-he ka na dinudukot-dukot sa ref tuwing madaling araw at 'di makatulog dahil hindi makahinga sa pulupot ng aking bisig sa katawan mong malamig.
Bakit? Patikiman mo naman ako ng paliwanag. Kung may isang bagay na humihiwalay saâtin mula sa mga hayop sa kabila ng lahat ng kahayupan mo, âyun ay ang kakayahan nating ipaliwanag sa utak ang ginawa ng pusong nagmamatalino. Kasi tao ako, tao ka. Kailangan ko ng paliwanag na panghahawakan para makabitaw ako saâyo nang tuluyan. Pero pati 'yun, syempre, ipinagkait mo. Kahit sobra-sobra na ang ibinigay ko saâyo, hanggang sa pagpapaintindi ng kasalanan, kulang ang ibinalik mo.
Hindi ko alam kung bakit hinihiling ng mga two-timers na katulad mo, âyung sa kanta, "na sana dalawa ang puso ko." Hindi ba dapat, dalawang utak ang hingin mo? Para naman sana nakapagdalawang-isip ka bago mo ginawang plural ang you sa I love you. Para naman sana nakapagdalawang-isip ka, bago mo iniba ang spelling ng I love you too, sa I love you two.
Hindi ko alam kung bakit salawahan ang tawag saâyo, e ang katotohanan naman, inisahan mo ako, at pati siya. Kapag sinabi mo kasing salawahan, dapat dalawa kaming minahal mo. Pero hindi posible 'yun, Dahil kung magpapakatotoo ka lang. dalawa kaming sinaktan mo, At ang tangi at nag-iisang minahal mo, ay ang sarili mo.
Hindi ko alam kung bakit third party ang tawag sa mga sumasawsaw sa relasyon ng iba. Unang-una, wala namang dapat i-celebrate. At tsaka, paano naging party 'yun, E kayo lang naman ang nagkakainan. Paano naging party 'yun E kayo lang naman 'yung nanonorotot habang ako nabibingi sa isang gilid sa pag-alala sa mga âmahal kitaâ na sinambit ng iyong bibig sa akin, kahit ang isinisigaw ng mga galaw mo, ay siya, siya ang ibig.
Huling-huli, hindi ko alam kung bakit pangangaliwa ang tawag sa ginawa mo. Kasi mahal, kung namali ka lang ng liko sa kabilang kanto, makikita pa kita e, masusundan pa kita. Makakatakbo pa ako papunta saâyo, para hilahin, akayin ka pabalik sa landas na nasimulan. Hindi ka nangaliwa, hindi ka kumanan, hindi ka lumiko, hindi mo ako diniretso na matagal ka nang huminto sa isang madilim na sulok na hindi ko na mababalikan, para ako ay âyung balikan.
Sobra ka. Sobra.
Dapat noong araw pa lang na hindi mo ako diniretso na hindi masarap ang adobo ko, dapat dun pa lang napagtanto ko na. Na hindi ikaw ang tamang kaluluwa na pag-alayan ko ng luha. Dahil hindi ko kailangan ng taong paliligayahin ako sa kasinungalingan. Na paniniwalain akong disente ang adobo pero pagkaligpit ko ng pinagkainan, maghahanap ka ng ibang bubusog sa puso mong masiba dahil hindi pihikan. Kailangan ko ng tao na kayang ibato saâkin ang katotohanan. Na sobra na pala sa alat, sa toyo, sa asim, sa suka, sa lagkit, sa mantika, sa paminta. Na sobra na ako sa pananakal saâyo, sa pagiging seloso, na sobrang higpit ng paglingkis ng mga daliri ko sa mga daliri mo, ng kagat ng mga labi ko sa mga labi mo. Kailangan ko ng taong ipapamukha saâkin kapag sobra na ang ginagawa ko, kapag mali na, At titiyagaing turuan ako kung paano ba magluto ng adobo na tama ang timpla. Isang tao na dahan-dahan akong titiyagain na matutong magtimpla ng tamang relasyon na tatagal, na tayo lang, Wala ng iba, walang sobra.
[From the book âLahat Tayo May Periodâ by Rod Marmol]
Iâve been thinking about this for the past 4 years weâve been together. When I want to know what youâll do when I will break up with you, youâll always say âokayâ and just leave me behind. Is it really easy to forget me, or replace me? Because Iâm not your dream girl? Your perfect girl? I always thought that Iâm the only one who want us to be happy. That you just pity me because If I ainât got you, Iâd be very lonely. I canât read your mind. I donât know whatâs the truth about everything you say. Youâve been hurting me verbally, thatâs why.
Maybe If Iâm pretty enough for you, youâll be the one who will be chasing me. And Iâm not the one whoâs chasing after you. My mom always told me, âYouâre a woman, donât chase men. Let them chase you.â Sorry, mom.
Maybe If Iâm pretty enough for you, youâll never let me go. Youâll love me even more because you said, âI fell inlove with your personality even before I saw you.â I know, because we met in an online game.
Wish I was prettier so you would treat me better.