you love me but there’s something missing there. maybe the missing thing isn’t love but something else. maybe it’s consistency or perseverance or assurance… i can’t find the word im looking for. i just know that something is missing. i know how much you love me but i still feel 1000 miles away from you. i still feel misunderstood. you’re a man of big words and big ideas but you don’t follow through. you disappointed me far too many times for me to look past this. and yet, in the end i know im going to be the bad guy in our story. but i have to do this for myself.

I am grieving the fact that you weren’t what I wanted and you really really disappointed me. how do I cope with the fact that I did everything just for you to let me down time and time again

just saw a girl on tiktok announcing her second pregnancy and now i really want to get married and start a family

maybe you’re not what i wanted

I don’t know what I want. I’m scared if I get to have you back I’ll start to doubt it again but im scared if I don’t have you back I’ll be unhappy forever. I dunno I just really miss you and I wish things weren’t this way but we just have to trust the process I guess