Routine Bites Hard

"Don’t fall in love with me, kid."

"I hate looking at your face. I wanna smash it."

"I’m sorry I misinterpreted our friendship."

"Does that include "that’s what she said"?"

"I think green is kind of whorish."

"Always the Padawan, never the Jedi."

“You could be hot, too, if you made any effort at all.”

"Did I stutter?"

"I’m sorry about your cat."

“It has to be official, and it has to be urine.”

“I was just… I’m in love with you.”

“You can’t fire me, I don’t work in this van.”

"You already did me."

"Why you always gotta be so mean to me?"

"Tonight might be a convenient night for us to have some intercourse."

"You couldn’t handle my undivided attention."

"I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.”

"You know what. I had a great time at prom. And no one said "yes" to that either."

"I’ve done a lot more for a lot less."

"What part of "shorn’t" don’t you understand?"

"I can’t really imagine you yelling at anyone."

"I’m just gonna skip the what and go right to why."

"Just pretend like we’re talking until the cops leave."

"I miss the days when there was only one party I didn’t want to go to."

"Of course I’m serious. And don’t call me Shirley."

"This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my entire life."

"I will grant you one wish."

"Yeah, I have a lot of questions. Number one: how dare you?"

"Was that hot or what?"

"I can’t believe I started the fire."

"What was the worst part about prison? The dementors."

"Their breadsticks are like crack."

"They say you only live once, and I’m about to prove it."

"I know about your diabolical plan."

"Ever since I was a little kid, like eight or nine, I could sort of control things with my mind."

"BFD. Engaged ain’t married."

"You don’t know me. You’ve just seen my penis."

"Looks like there’s gonna be a clean up on aisle five."

"Desperate times call for desperate measures."

“Remember on Lost, when they met the others?”

"Who do you think you are?"

"Every little boy fantasizes about his fairytale wedding."

But she couldn’t. She’d promised.

"Y-you can’t just… D-don’t you have anything b-better to do?" She muttered, sullen. Obviously not. If he was this annoying all the time she doubted he had many friends. Was that why he was harassing her? How sad. Rather than voice any of this aloud, she chose to glare at the floor instead. Maybe he might develop telepathy and realise how pathetic he looked right now. It was probably a good thing that he wasn’t seriously trying to impress her.

Her bitter train of thought was put to an abrupt stop when he spoke again. She looked up at him, surprised. Was this still a joke…? He was still making fun of her, wasn’t he? He probably didn’t care either way whether she took a seat or not. He wouldn’t care if she stayed there all day. She’d just met him, so it wouldn’t matter if she stayed until her legs gave out. Rather than hurl any such accusation at him, she just glanced back down at her feet. “I…” She began, unsure. Would it make things worse if she refused? But then, what if she agreed and he took it as an invitation to carry on being weird…?

He pursed his lips at her question, shifting back to sit more firmly in his seat, arms draped over the back and sides. It wasn't even 10am yet, if anybody wasn't in class they were more than likely still asleep. Obviously she was aware of that, otherwise neither of them would be stuck in this stale-mate conversation. He ran through a list of snippy, witty responses in his head, wanting to shoot back the perfect answer- but when he opened his mouth he forget all of that. A quick moment of mouth-open-and-no-sound and then, "Don't you?"

Nice.

For a moment, he felt a little bad when she glanced down at the ground like a scolded child. Maybe he had been a little harsh on her. Maybe she was just put off by his enthusiasm, maybe she didn't mean to be rude. And then she answered, and he shook all of those thoughts out of his head. Maybe she was just... weird? But he couldn't say that. He didn't want anyone to think he had done anything to upset her, especially since he still didn't know which person he was going to have to live with that-

Oh God.

What if she came over more often?

This was potentially the most painful first meeting he'd ever had, and he was torn. If he could just get her to relax, maybe it wouldn't be so bad next time he saw her! But if he just gave up and agreed to go elsewhere, then he wouldn't be suffering now. Giving up wasn't very punk rock, though.

Sighing, she glanced back down at her phone. Maybe she could text for help…? But who would she message? Celes would be asleep, no doubt. And she’d likely just tell her to come home. She couldn’t possibly text Byakuya whilst he was in class - she wouldn’t want to get him into trouble or something. And anyway, there wasn’t anything he could do about it from there so she’d just be making a nuisance of herself.

Before she could ask anybody for help, he was talking to her again. Touko stared at him for a few moments, not sure she was registering what he was saying. “H-huh…?” What was this? Some kind of horrible pick-up line? Her expression soured. “W-why would I be w-w-waiting for you…?!” Her voice raised a little higher than she’d hoped and she cringed at the way she fell all over her words. But how else was she supposed to react? She was stuck all alone in here with this creep.

Once again, she glued her eyes to the ground, feeling more than a little self conscious. This had to be some kind of joke at her expense. Why was he picking on her? Didn’t he have anything better to do with his time?? She had been happy to keep to herself, why did he have to ruin this for her? Rather than pose any of those questions to the annoying redhead, she just emitted another loud sigh, clasping her hands together.

He drummed his fingers lightly against the counter-top while she stammered. He thought about telling Mondo about this whole ordeal later on when he saw them, immediately aware that his friends would just laugh and mock him. Actually, they probably knew all about this mystery girl. He'd probably walked right into the worst possible situation here! He was beginning to get lost in his thoughts when she spat out an answer and yanked him back to reality. "Woah, relax, it was just a joke!"

Holding up his hands to show he meant no harm, Leon dropped his gaze to the counter top. She could be pretty loud when she wanted to be, he thought. He admired that. "Alright, cool, you're waiting for a mystery guy. I guess I'll just wait around to see who shows up then!" He was joking, but he was beginning to realise she probably didn't know what one of those was. He didn't care too much to tack it on the end, though. At least he wouldn't be surprised if she had a choking fit trying to cough out a response this time.