Ayse Buntion.

My love, my sprit, my body, mind and soul - my heart has been torn by its seems and strung out onto the floor from my chest. I must admit that I can not stand this pain. I can not bear this guilt or carry this weight. I can not cope with this loss, this grief. It all is too immense for me.

Promised an undying love, just to watch it fall apart. Nothing is ever as certain as it seems.

This is my fault in the very end, though I am not the only to blame. It is just that I still find the deepest love and attachment because all of myself was given, and he has met all of my demons - he knows them by name.

Why must I carry this brokenness once more? This time, though, it is worse a million times more. I can no longer see the dreams in my life that, to myself, my success, I swore. I no longer have dreams. I must lay down this crown I wore, being the woman that was closest, that loved you through the bad and glowed with you through the good, the woman that was yours.

We lost it all and I lost you. I no longer carry your heart, so now I feel empty. Deeply, I am torn. Stitch by stitch, I slowly unravel. The wounds you closed had healed but now they're ripped right back open. From my heart, I bleed. Must your love had to leave? I miss you in the morning time when the sun rises because it is a day I must live without you. And I miss you in the night time when the sun sets because it has been a day that I had not had you. My soul can not rest. I lay awake, exhausted, when I should be asleep in bed. But even if you were there with me, your heart is not. Each day that I don't have you, I have one day I could've spent with you less.

I am so sorry, my love, and myself. I did not mean for this to become. I did not mean to break his heart. Now I have broken mine.

I wish that you would've loved me less. Because now I have so much I'm going to miss.

I am in my darkest hour, and I don't have your heart to light my path. I can no longer see where I am going. Where life is taking me, I can not feel certain of yet. All that I know is that I will never be the same when there's a space where you are supposed to be and your absence is, of you, all I have left.

-AYSE BUNTION,