I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF
This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.
Reblogging because it’s a damn potato and I want to encourage people to assume potatoes are magical.
w-what if potato is actually lucky

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@allaboardtheloonyexpress
I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF
This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.
Reblogging because it’s a damn potato and I want to encourage people to assume potatoes are magical.
w-what if potato is actually lucky

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First day on the job and I’m getting my long awaited vengeance against my father’s evil vizier but it turns out no one else knows how to do his job so I need to at least hire an accountant because I’m too rich to understand the concept of a budget, but we scared off the city’s comptroller who hid all our liquid assets and told only the master of laws, who we beheaded without checking on that and a rat crawls up my pant leg. So I try to at least call over some pest control but my stupid chud brother already killed all of them because they killed his son because our other brother killed MY son. So now we’re overrun by rats and I pivot to taking some petitions and this lady that looks strangely like my siblings’ mom (why?) tells me we’re out of food because of the blockade I put in place. So I ask my husband’s ex, who is on my cabinet because I’m kind of fucking her because of my complex about not being my father’s son, and she asks what my dad would do. So I do what my dad would do and ask a sad woman I’ve locked in my house, but she’s mad at me because I killed her dad. So I try to handle both the rat and the budget problem by making my entire merchant class eat the rats and sending my corrupt police force to rob their houses and now all my merchants are both pissed off and absolutely going to tell everyone the blockade was my fault. So I ask MY evil vizier what I should do but he’s mad at me because I won’t legitimize his peasant sons, one of which has one of my nukes and I just publicly humiliated twice. So I leave to consider if I should kill my littlest brother to relieve some stress, except another one of my fathers’ evil viziers’ evil fruit relatives tricked me and this isn’t any of my brothers. So I walk away with no one for protection except the chief of the aforementioned police force who I just encouraged to seize the property of nobles and we get stopped by one of my other nuke holding peasants who asks why he hasn’t gotten a paycheck in 4 months, and I tell him I’m broke as shit in front of the aforementioned corrupt police chief, who is also on the payroll that I don’t have. So I give up and circle back to my vice president and he thinks for a few minutes and then asks if I’ve tried bombing Iran
the other day in the groupchat we were talking about how historical fiction will often try to code aristocrat characters as more sympathetic by only having them have a single servant instead of a whole household of staff but instead this just makes them look like an exploitative employer who’s so cheap he would rather pile impossible amounts of labor upon a single guy than hire enough help to actually run his house
average small business owner
It also makes them rather isolated from their community. Better a large staff they routinely interact with.
Suppose Laenor Velaryon is chosen heir to Jahaerys instead of Viserys…does this butterfly away the Dance as we know it? Who would be the leading contender for his queen?
I'd argue that the Dance still happens. ~95% of the attendees voted for Viserys at the Great Council. Naming Laenor means royally pissing off the nobles who supported Viserys's claim. I doubt Laenor lives to even get married in that scenario.
Thanks for the question, Cle-Guy.
SomethingLikeALawyer, Hand of the King
Don't forget that King or not, Laenor is still gay. That means no kids for him. That would seriously undermine him as King.
I don't think that is necessarily a disqualifier. Plenty of monarchs who preferred homosexual relationships knew that dynastic succession was the underpinning of their feudal power and brought forth heirs to fulfill that.
-SLAL
But we know that in the OTL, Laenor wasn't able to get Rhaenyra pregnant. So it's logical to assume he won't have kids in this timeline either.
Suppose Laenor Velaryon is chosen heir to Jahaerys instead of Viserys…does this butterfly away the Dance as we know it? Who would be the leading contender for his queen?
I'd argue that the Dance still happens. ~95% of the attendees voted for Viserys at the Great Council. Naming Laenor means royally pissing off the nobles who supported Viserys's claim. I doubt Laenor lives to even get married in that scenario.
Thanks for the question, Cle-Guy.
SomethingLikeALawyer, Hand of the King
Don't forget that King or not, Laenor is still gay. That means no kids for him. That would seriously undermine him as King.

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It’s Fourth of July Eve so make sure to leave some milk and cookies out for Captain America
I THOUGHT AFTER FOUR YEARS YOU PEOPLE WOULD LET THIS DIE AND YET AGAIN I OPEN THIS CURSED APP TO FIND MORE NOTES ON THIS POST
And what do you leave for Bucky and Falcon?
Reblog or your mom will die in 928 seconds.
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Why’re you being mean to my mum?
goddamn it
Nope. Googled it. 15 minuets. Nope. Not taking any chances
This has 1.2 million reblogs … Ps not riskin it
1.4 almost ps not risking it
Fuck this post
Lmao damn tumblr
I fucking hate you tumblr
one of the funniest conversations I ever had with my ex was when they were still getting used to Celsius and asked me "what's 20 degrees?" and instead of converting it, I said "it's the highest your dad will ever let you set the thermostat and when you say you're cold he tells you to put on another sweater, we're not made of money" and they went "oh, 68"
the fact that this reference was that fucking precise was something they went on to tell people about for years.
In honor of the the return of the absolutely illogical mess that is HotD, here are some quick reminders as to why the Dance was doomed to happen:
Yes, Viserys was an idiot to remarry. No, it didn’t matter if he had married Laena—Corlys’ greed made Otto look like a saint. Unlike the book, Rhaenyra was old enough to be married off and have children of her own; remarrying with enough children to populate a new house was Viserys’ own greed and pride. Blame Viserys for Rhaenyra’s inevitable downfall
Yes, naming Aegon heir would’ve solved a lot of issues. Namely, the fact that literally no one would have contested that claim. Not even Rhaenyra, who spent her entire life up Aemma’s death as conveniently not-the-heir.
No, naming Rhaenyra queen and abdicating while he was alive would not have stopped the Dance, merely pushed it down a generation. Y’all seem to keep forgetting that Jace and Co are very obvious bastards; if not Aegon v Rhaenyra, it would be Aegon v Jace or Jace v Aegon the Younger v Jaehaerys
No, Jace’s reign was not secured or safe. Again —> very obviously a bastard, surrounded by what’s going to be dozens of white-haired sons and daughters. Ntm, I doubt the many lords would let him rest easy for it. A very harmful precedent there
No, Jace and Helaena would not have been enough. The claim to contest are Aegon and his brothers’, which still exist even if Helaena married Jace. Aegon and Baela would’ve been the better option, but that would only work if Baela were to inherit Driftmark—and we all know Rhaenyra would never allow it.
No, it really doesn’t matter that Aegon was a mediocre-to-bad king. Viserys was a shit king, Rhaenyra was a shit queen, Daemon would’ve been terrible—they all sucked. The Council matters way more than the king does, and the Black Council as it stands are all fucking morons. Jace has the most sense there and he’s 16; that’s how bad it is
Rhaenyra’s not exactly the pinnacle of genius. Girlie’s also stupid as fuck, because for someone who does want to rule and knows that her rule is constantly contested on, she decides to run away and do nothing for close to seven years. Might as well hangup the claim and the crown, for all the effort she placed into securing it. Which was basically none. Maybe start by not having such obvious bastards, or marrying the man you were named heir to keep away from the crown and producing even more bastards.
No, Aegon being Aemond’s main childhood bully does not and will never negate his ill-feelings towards the Strong Boys. Aemond in s2 could bully and humiliate Aegon back publicly, even after he got Jaehaerys killed. Hell, he threw Aegon under the bus at Driiftmark too. Meanwhile, dumbfuck in a bowlcut 1 and 2 were smirking over memories of bullying the kid they maimed for life and never once apologized to. Pretty sure the former is typical Daemon-like greed and ambitions, and the other was from valid hurt. It is Aemond’s nature to spend his life thinking he’ll be better than his brother (like Daemon). Unfortunately for both, they also suck and would’ve been terrible kings too. Not that they’ll ever realize it.
God, can you imagine someone from Finland (or wherever) heading to a Midwestern state fair and eating every variety of fried thing imaginable?
I can, and arguably I must.
I always think that sport events, especially international ones, are primarily about fun and cultural exchange and hanging out together; it gets lost sometimes when people pay too much attention to keeping scores, but joy and building bridges should be more important. So glad this seems to be happening right now!
Oooh, they introduced Scotland and Haiti to tailgating in Foxboro!! You just TRY and stop a New England sports fan from tailgating at Gillette!!
Kilts at Red Sox games!! While they did not understand the game of baseball they had a whale of a time anyway and did soccer chants the whole time! 🤭

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In storm of swords Barristan tells Dany that if she lands in Westeros with a slave army a good number of good men will fight her just because they abhor slavery so much.
I’m skeptical. I know slavery is deeply taboo in Westeros but Dany wouldn’t be bringing the institution to Westeros (Eunuchs are taboo there too but Varys still rises far).
The red wedding was abhorred by all but there wasn’t a massive rising against the Lannisters the second it happened due to their breaking guest right.
I guess I find Barrisan a bit naive.
Do you agree with him, and if so, who might you imagine would be included in these “good men” who would oppose her in the name of anti-slavery righteousness?
I actually believe Barristan is more right than you might think. At the end of the day, a lot of Westerosi are going to see Daenerys as a foreign invader at the head of a foreign army. Not only is slavery a big taboo in Westeros, but the east coast of Westeros periodically deals with slave raids from the Triarchy - which even included nobility among its victims like Johanna Swann. Dany can make her case to the Westerosi but the taboo is so strong that people are going to rush to judgment.
I'd disagree about people not liking the Lannisters for the Red Wedding. House Frey is mostly taking the brunt for it and even noted political dunce Cersei is understanding that someone has to pay from House Frey for the sheer level of societal transgression. People haven't stormed the Twins yet due to hostages and the devastation of the War of the Five Kings, but the anger at such an action is burning strong and will trigger sometime likely in book six.
Thanks for the question, Anon.
SomethingLikeALawyer, Hand of the King
I would also add Cersei is suffering from severe backlash in the form of the High Sparrow.
In storm of swords Barristan tells Dany that if she lands in Westeros with a slave army a good number of good men will fight her just because they abhor slavery so much.
I’m skeptical. I know slavery is deeply taboo in Westeros but Dany wouldn’t be bringing the institution to Westeros (Eunuchs are taboo there too but Varys still rises far).
The red wedding was abhorred by all but there wasn’t a massive rising against the Lannisters the second it happened due to their breaking guest right.
I guess I find Barrisan a bit naive.
Do you agree with him, and if so, who might you imagine would be included in these “good men” who would oppose her in the name of anti-slavery righteousness?
I actually believe Barristan is more right than you might think. At the end of the day, a lot of Westerosi are going to see Daenerys as a foreign invader at the head of a foreign army. Not only is slavery a big taboo in Westeros, but the east coast of Westeros periodically deals with slave raids from the Triarchy - which even included nobility among its victims like Johanna Swann. Dany can make her case to the Westerosi but the taboo is so strong that people are going to rush to judgment.
I'd disagree about people not liking the Lannisters for the Red Wedding. House Frey is mostly taking the brunt for it and even noted political dunce Cersei is understanding that someone has to pay from House Frey for the sheer level of societal transgression. People haven't stormed the Twins yet due to hostages and the devastation of the War of the Five Kings, but the anger at such an action is burning strong and will trigger sometime likely in book six.
Thanks for the question, Anon.
SomethingLikeALawyer, Hand of the King
If you could advise Viserys I immediately after Aemma's death (assuming you have no knowledge of future events), would you tell him to remarry? Why or why not?
I would tell him the absolute and unvarnished truth. Royal marriages are meant to create dynastic succession so marrying another woman will create a branch family who would anticipate becoming part of the royal line, especially if you have a son. So only do that if you don't want Rhaenyra to ascend after you.
This requires no actual foreknowledge of the Dance of the Dragons - Maegor is proof enough of the danger a branch member would provide and Jaehaerys's ascension over Aerea provides justification for male-preference primogentiure. You also have Daemon the Rogue Prince waiting in the wings, and he is a chaotic monkey wrench to throw into the mix because he also wants his own crown. You're already going to have problems with him, so unless you want to make things even harder for Rhaenyra's inheritance, don't do it.
Thanks for the question, Anon.
SomethingLikeALawyer, Hand of the King
I would also add, for the love of God, stack the Small Council with Rhaenyra loyalists.
Benjamin Franklin originally wanted the American bird to be the turkey but instead it turned out to be the bald eagle which is ironic because now bald Americans fly to Turkey to get their bald fixed which is crazy cuz turkey is a flightless bird
Reblog or your mom will die in 928 seconds.
I love my mom.
I am risking nothing
I AM SORRY FOLLOWERS, I LOVE MY MOMMY
Will not risk.
sorry followers :(
omg im so glad to se so many people love their mummy
Why’re you being mean to my mum?
goddamn it
Nope. Googled it. 15 minuets. Nope. Not taking any chances
This has 1.2 million reblogs … Ps not riskin it
1.4 almost ps not risking it
Fuck this post
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I fucking hate you tumblr

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Reblog or your mom will die in 928 seconds.
I love my mom.
I am risking nothing
I AM SORRY FOLLOWERS, I LOVE MY MOMMY
Will not risk.
sorry followers :(
omg im so glad to se so many people love their mummy
Why’re you being mean to my mum?
goddamn it
Nope. Googled it. 15 minuets. Nope. Not taking any chances
This has 1.2 million reblogs … Ps not riskin it
1.4 almost ps not risking it
Fuck this post
Lmao damn tumblr
I fucking hate you tumblr
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ni mi castillo, ni mi vampiro.