I was working on a history paper today and found a book from 1826 that seemed promising (though dull) for my topic, on an English Catholic familyâs experience moving to France.
And it ended up not really being suitable for my purposes, as it goes. But part of the book is actually devoted to Kenelm, the authorâs oldest sonâŚand man, his dad loved him.
Kenelm seems to have had a fairly typical upbringing for a young English gentleman, although he is a bit slow to read. At twelve heâs sent to board at Stoneyhurst Collegeâoften the big step towards independence in a boyâs life, as heâll most likely only see his parents sporadically from now on, and then leave for university.
When heâs sixteen, however, his father moves the whole family to France, so Kenelm gets pulled out of school to be with them again. Shortly after the move, his dad notices that he seems depressed. Kenelm confides in him that heâs been suffering from âscruplesâ for the last eighteen monthsâmost likely what weâd now call an anxiety disorder.
And his dad is pissedâat the school, because apparently Kenelm had been seeking help there and received none, despite obviously struggling with mental health issues. So his dad takes it seriously. He sets him up to be counseled by a priestâthere were no therapists back thenâand doesnât send him away to be boarded again, instead teaching him at home himself.
And his mental health does improve. His dad describes him as well-liked, gentle, pious, kind and eager to please others; at twenty heâs thinking about a career in diplomacy or going into the militaryâwhich his dad thinks he is not particularly suited for, considering his favorite pastimes are drawing and reading. Heâs excited about his familyâs upcoming move to Italy, and heâs been busy learning Italian and teaching it to his siblings.
Henry Kenelm Beste dies of typhus at twenty years, four months, and twenty-five days. Thatâs how his dad records it. Thatâs why his dad is telling this story. Itâs not an extraordinary storyâKenelmâs story struck me because he sounds soâŚordinary, like so many kids today. And he was so, so loved. His dad tried hard to help him compassionately with his mental health at a time where our current knowledge and support systems didnât exist. You can feel how badly he wanted his son to be remembered and loved, to impress how dearly beloved he was to the people who knew him in life.
I hope heâd be glad to know someone is still thinking of Kenelm over 200 years later.
Anyway, thatâs why Iâm crying today.
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