loraloo

8:30 pm on a school night, five assignments due at 11:59 pm waiting for me at home. My grade on my math quiz could’ve been higher, but the dreams and stars I saw the night before in dance class could never be made up in a thirty-minute remediation.

I’m constantly teetering between overworked and “I just like being busy.” When I turn down the fifth party in a row, I’m “boring” and “obsessive.” But when roses are thrown on stage and I’m laughing in the dressing room, I’m dedicated and exhilarated in a way a classroom could never make me.

When I signed up for seven weekly classes and three shows this season, all I could think about was how many times I’d reach a moment I’d want to last forever. FOMO was never small for me. When I see friends in a show without me or someone in a club I’m not in, suddenly everything feels grave. Even though I’ve gone from ten clubs to two and let a couple grades slip below an A, I’m still happier than ever—something that would’ve sent 8th grade me into a spiral, barely affects me now.

I’ve traded quiet approval for loud applause, pats on the back, and shared tears. When I’m on stage, legs cramping and arms ready to collapse, my mind is somewhere else. I’m in the stars, making constellations with every kick, exploring galaxies with every turn. And when I bow, it doesn’t fade. It replays in my head until the next season, when I do it all over again with a smile and sweat on my back.

A C in physics would’ve made me

pull my hair out a year ago, but when

you’re in the stars, it becomes an afterthought.

this was something I wrote for a journalism class final.

hope you enjoy 💫

no because I have like 3 chapters already I'm so happy.

It's about Lily discovering her crush on James, absolutely hating that she does, and pining hard as hell on him. But the thing is, is that it's dual pov and James is ALSO pining hard as hell. And it's very cute and amazing and then there's angst because I have to.