the only love we know is love for ourselves

I'm about to go on a rant, so let me apologize in advance. I'm just so fucking fed up of seeing these messages everywhere. I'm reading a book called The Narcissism Epidemic that explores how our generation is the epitome of narcissism. Although I disagree, the book does have a point. Anyways. Throughout the book, the authors compare 'the narcissism epidemic' to the 'obesity epidemic'. If that helps the readers conceptualize the scope of the problem, fair enough. The book mentions a lot of things, and I won't list them all, but they really focus on self-esteem, confidence, and admiration. They argue that we've reached a point where we over-encourage self-esteem in children, we teach them to love themselves too much, and that is what causes a rise in narcissism. Parents essentially tell their children to love themselves no matter what, which tends to lead to negative consequences. Indeed, the authors argue self-esteem being taught in schools is actually a negative thing. And then I see this, the sentence above highlighted in yellow. And I cried for the first time in a long time. Growing up fat sucks. You feel incredibly low about yourself, and society reinforces all the thoughts you have about yourself. It's a cycle that is difficult to overcome. How dare someone tell me that I should accept myself less. I don't accept myself to begin with. So, I wonder, what do these authors suggest? That acceptance will come when I loose weight? Society will accept me, therefore I'll accept myself. For a book that bashes vanity and the current physical trends of perfection, I find this highly ironic. I've lost 80lbs and gained it back. Even at that weight, I didn't accept myself. I've just recently lost 40lbs and I don't accept myself any more than I did when I was heavier. Our worth is not based on our bodies. It's based on who we are with family, friends. It's based on the values we cherish and practice. It's based on integrity, intelligence, and being an overall warm person. Even the goddamn book argues this. No one should tell us to accept ourselves less solely because of our bodies.