Oh, you wanna know everything about me? What are you, some kind of stalker? (flirting)

Fuck marry kill, but "kill" is actually the horny option.

Update: the horniest option is doing it all to the same person: marry, kill, fuck. In that order.

foreplay is not the kissing right before he fucks you, foreplay is the 32 hours you spend torturing him in a shipping container before you even let him see you naked

Man I wish. This is exactly what I need right now.

i wish i could infinitely regenerate my body parts so i could explode into viscera for dramatic effect whenever something mildly upsetting occurs

I mean, sex is good and all, but have you ever tried murder?

Because I condone murder and cannabalism

Perfect man like perfect stumps, he’s a proud amputee💪🏻

Die Stumpfübungen werde ich in Zukunft auch machen können! Nach einigen Stunden im Rollstuhl brauchen die Stümpfe auch mal eine Auflockerung!

its not gay to fuck a man if you stab him and only fuck the stab hole

i want you carnally *shoves a knife into your abdomen*

no idea!! just found it floating around tumblr i think. anyone else know?

Just commited a crime. God I love killing people for money

Hey you shouldn't do that. You should be killing people because you enjoy it, not to play the part of a capitalist cog

You're so right, I'm such a buffoon