āIt is our desire to have our work outlive us. If my name is remembered because of my accomplishments, then I am truly immortal. Nothing is a greater honor than that.ā
Akon from Bleach RP Account
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@akxnabides
āIt is our desire to have our work outlive us. If my name is remembered because of my accomplishments, then I am truly immortal. Nothing is a greater honor than that.ā
Akon from Bleach RP Account
Rules ||| AboutĀ ||| Kenpachi (main account)

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"Oh, interesting. Visored. To what do I owe the interest? Academic pursuit? A desire to better your understanding of your condition through science?"
"... a bigger toothbrush?"
@crescentcheshire
"Ah, apologies sir, but Captain Kurotsuchi is not here at the moment."
"Is there anything I can assist you with? I do believe we may have improved the potency of your favorite sake by approximately 11%, if that piques your interest."
@aegisdux
dumb things my friends and I have said: 2026!
part one: january - march apologies ahead of time for length! feel free to change pronouns if need be. warning for suggestive/mildly offensive language, suggestiveness, and capslock-implied yelling :)
"That's my new bit. Fuckin' hitting you."
"I'm allowed to stare at you. I've checked."
"That just sounds like Catholic Santa."
"Human centipede the cars, RIGHT NOW."
"IT TAKES ME THREE DAYS TO MAKE TEN DOLLARS."
"Are you done with your trauma?"
"I need him to stop pacing and start pissing."
"Is pookie a DRAG QUEEN?"
"I'm sorry you got the poop meds."
"I don't think Jimmy Buffett stabbed a man to death and pulled all his guts out."
"Wishful thinking is one hell of a drug."
"Does anyone wanna go to the hospital as me?"
"Hashtag I love penis."
"Nah man, I'm on ADHD Pro right now."
"You were literally dying, and all you cared about was an awards show."
"We gettin' quadratic tonight?"
"He told me my shirt turned him on 'cause I'm a girl with a job."
"Throw some 'dogs on the grill, let her flip 'em. C'mon man."
"Fuuuuck, we're the same height... You think he'll let me hit?"
"I'm okay. I don't wanna cuck him that hard."
"I LOVE GETTING SHOT. ...Actually, I don't."
"Portal? That's what they call YO MOM'S PUSSYYYYYY!"
"How the fuck are you a stoner AND a bottom? Bitch, you're a pothole!"
"Hey, so, what if I ran across the battlefield without a care in the world?"
"We can play Pin the Tail on the Donkey. Whoever's the most depressed can be Eeyore."
"I need them to... stop...... pissing."
"Oh, I'm so cool and awesome, said the mediocre guy who works at laser tag."
"I fuck with adverbs."
"God, he's so full of himself, I hope he dies. ......Smash."
"Sorry, I was in the pissing closet."
"This cologne smells like it will get me maidens."
The vessel's posture tilts toward the reaper curiously. "Terrified, you say? Why terrified, I wonder?"
"Considering I am faced with the manifestation of something so immensely powerful it nearly caused the destruction of Soul Society by preying on one madman's ego..."
"I'll chalk it up to a random anxiety spike I suppose. Very inconvenient. How might I assist you?"

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Casually manifests out of nowhere.
"I return, heathens. Now, kneel."
"I'm afraid kneeling is a bit difficult. New experimental modifications in my knees, you see."
"Perhaps a terrified and respectful nod instead?"
I LIVE, MOTHERFUCKERS!
(So does this little bastard)
viciousvizardā:
āIs it pronounced Yuh-wach. Or Ju Bach??ā
āFrom everything weāve been able to discern, the closest we figure isĀ āyou-ha bahkā.
āOf course correct pronunciations and facts backed by science have never been a concern for the vast majority of the shinigami before, so I canāt imagine that would change now...ā
OOC: Iām back, and Iām sorry!
Hello all! I suppose everyone who follows me deserves an update:
A lot has been going on for me in the past few months. I got a new job, moved to a new city, and then have been swamped between work and depression. Iām hoping to get back and kicking here in the next month, though!
Tumblrās notifications have been an absolute mess, but if youād like to interact (Iāll repost this on all my blogs) like this! Also, if we have a thread that I have dropped, please message me and let me know so I can find it!
Thank everyone for their patience, and hereās to hoping an upward swing!
(This is a side blog to @kenpachi-of-zaraki. I follow and interact from there!)
uraharashoutenā:
āOh, is that so?ā
āWell, in that case it seems that my timing couldnāt be better. As it happens, Iāve stopped by to bring you my latest formulation of extra-emollient age-reversing hand cream ā guaranteed to give you softer, younger-looking skin! Working as you do with harsh and corrosive substances undoubtedly leaves your hands chapped and dry ā you really should consider wearing gloves more often.ā
āI donāt need de-aging cream!ā
A deep breath, and several seconds later, he continues.
āSafety precautions taken within my own divisionās laboratory are well-designed and followed. Thank you.ā
āNow was there any other reason youāve decided to gift me with your presence? Or can I assume that youāve already implanted whatever bug, camera or other obtrusive design whose sole purpose is to cause my captain, and therefore me, grief?ā

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hirako5hinjiā:
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā Tooth decay? Hair loss?? Are ya serious? How come the side effects are so dodgy for a treatment thatās sāposedĀ to promote healing? ā Shinji sidled over to the lanky Lieutenant to peer at the papers in the otherās spindly hands. It was a gibberish mess of random numbers with the occasional line chart thrown in, so obviously Shinji did not waste time attempting to decipher what they all meant.Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā So yer seekināā¦test subjects from all the other squads for yer ālil experimental miracle drug? And my men gotta sign a non-disclosure agreement? āĀ Shinjiās expression was, at best, politely doubtful. He was also trying not to grimace.Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā IĀ donāt agree with havinā 8 hours of sleep condensed into 45 minutes. Some of us happen to enjoy our time lying around in bed, yāknow. Canāt you do somethingĀ ābout that?Ā ā
āSide effects are a normal part of any new drug, and have not been seen in all tests so far. Most, but not all.ā
āAnd as far as the drugs intention, it is less specificallyĀ āhealingā and moreĀ āquantum increase of time passage on a bodyā. Or, to put it in terms you might understand a bit better, it makes time pass faster for you when you take it.ā
He gently pulled the report back and away from Shinjiās eyes.
āThat is also why I specified that the benefitsĀ of an eight-hour sleep can be condensed into 45 minutes. What you do with the extra time is of little concern to me; spend it lounging around in the bed if you wish. However, I do believe that there were certain complaints when tasks were not getting completed. Along the lines ofĀ āthere arenāt enough hours in the dayā, I believe.ā
He raised an eyebrow at the captain, his face passive. The experiment was more Mayuriās idea than his, and his investment in its widespread usage was minimal. But still, when one was the face of the 12th Division, one had to at least pretend.
I hope no one lowkey hates me. Highkey hate me. Hate me with every fiber of your being. Go big or go home
viciousvizardā:
She did the exact opposite of Akonās gentle chastisement and really let her impressive lung capacity shine as she started yelling herself hoarse. Shouting profanities that no normal person should know, she was unleashing her verbal wrath upon him. How dare he suggest that she liked seeing naked bodies?! Especially not a pasty little nude body that belonged to Mayuri!! He had not only dissed her upon their first ever meeting (SHE WAS NOT A BOY, DAMNIT!), but he had continued to make remarks that infuriated her.
āI WILL SHOVE A TEST TUBE UP YER NOSTRIL, AKON! DONāT FUCKINā TEST ME!ā
She was not going to stand here and be called ridiculous by this guy! He was all mister reason and science lover, but she will definitely solve this problem with the best solution she knew- violence.
Immediately, she was hurtling over to give him a quick old slap with her sandals when he started to lift his lab coat and in a deadpan voice, ask if he should remove more clothing.
Hiyoriās sandal was gripped tightly in her little hand and she was staring at him with a horribly mortified look. āWH-WHAT THE FUCK?! WHY ARE- HOW- SHUT YER DAMN MOUTH! WHERE DID YA LEARN āTA TALK LIKE THAT?!ā
She was outraged but not just for her own, feminine modesty this time. It was also because- Ā Akon shouldnāt be speaking like this with anyone!!
āIt was a joke,ā Akon said with a deadpan voice, dropping the lab coat back into place and smoothing out the wrinkles.Ā āI am capable of making those.ā
āThough if such humor is so abhorrent to you, I would advise against being in and around the SRDI for any length of time. Their humor can be... weāll say crude. Even by my standards.ā
While they werenāt terrible people necessarily (well, most of them), the other scientists definitely lacked the social graces that would allow them to work around really any other kind of civilized community. The humor definitely reflected that.
āNow, I realize that as a vizard you get to sit around and do... whatever it is that you like to do all day. But the rest of us are actually quite busy being productive. I may be able to find a dictionary around here if that word is too difficult for you.ā
He sighed, knowing he was kicking a hornets nest. But it had been a while since heād actually enjoyed a conversation with someone, and he was going to make the most of it.
āIs there anything else I can help you with?ā
Send š to force my muse to talk about a topic they never want to speak of
We all have a chapter we donāt read aloud, use this to free that bottled up emotion.
What Lie Does Your Character Believe?
A fun challenge that I saw regarding OCās, but works easily well with your canon characters! I added all mine in here, just to make it interesting.
Kenpachi: That he can find fulfillment through battle, and that he doesnāt need others to do so.
Akon: That his own life has no worth outside of contributions he brings to Soul Society.
Starrk: That Aizen truly wanted him as a friend, and in his defeat at the hands of Shunsui he failed Aizen and would be punished for it.
Hachi: That his life can someday go back to how it was, serving under Tessai, a respected member of Soul Society.
tagging: @musicmedicineminder, @behindthestrings, @viciousvizard and anyone else who wants to try!

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viciousvizardā:
āI AINāT IMAGININā MAYURI FUCKINā KUROTSUCHI NAAAAAKEEEEDD!ā She screeches dramatically, a nerve busting in her cheek as she hollers at Akon. In direct contrast to her sputtering and raging, heās maddeningly calm and looks like this is just another day of discussing the weather.
āTHAT IS NO FUCKINā CONSOLATION!! I DONāT MAKE A HABIT OF SEEINā ANYONE NUDE UNLESS- -ā she quickly peters out, catching herself as she imagines one rangy, lean form in her mindās eye. Shit. Grinning teeth⦠shiiiiittt. Fair hair, falling into golden eyesā¦
Sheās screwed.
āYER AN IDIOT, AKON!! A BALD, PERVERTED IDIOT! YER WALKINā ON STILTS! LIFT UP YER FUCKINā LABCOAT, LET THE PERSON YER STANDINā ON BREATHE!! I KNOW YER NOT THAT TALL!ā
āPlease keep your voice down. Most of us still have working eardrums around here.ā
Heād hit a nerve, judging by her reaction. Though how he couldnāt begin to guess. There was no logic or reason behind that line of thought.
āJust because you are vertically challenged doesnāt mean Iām standing on someoneās shoulders.Ā You realize how ridiculous that sounds, right?ā
Still, he pulls back his lab coat, revealing his standard uniform underneath.
āUnless you were asking me to remove more clothing than that...ā
kakimushireā:
Ā Ā Ā He had ice-cream for breakfast.
Akon knows what that means.
Hyperactive, mind-boggling new body modification and soul tampering ideas.
...
Heāll prep the operating room.