27. interview with a vampire
summary: you give stefan a chance to explain everything.
pairings: stefan salvatore x fem! reader
previous chapter: confessions of a teenage monster
PERHAPS IT WAS SELFISH, but you wished you’d never woken up.
You'd spent the entire night tossing and turning, tortured by everything you'd done and endured.
Sunrays showered through your curtains, allowing your glass-coated floor to sparkle. Any other girl might've been excited to see such a nature-produced beauty, but unfortunately for you, you weren't any other girl.
Lately, inadequacy had overrun your life. You were a disappointment of a friend, sister, niece, even a client. Holly hadn't said a word since the revelation last night. Your transgressions bordered on impressive. The only thing you had to do as a client was be honest, and you couldn't even achieve that.
Your phone buzzed nonstop with messages from Bonnie, and a few from Caroline, inquiring about your absence. You sent your friends a vague update, claiming that you were taking a sick day off. You didn't specify what illness you supposedly had, but Bonnie didn't ask. She simply wished you well, texted a few cute emoticons, and offered to bring some soup and crackers (which you politely declined).
You glanced at the shimmering mess in your bedroom. You'd have to clean it eventually, but you'd barely had the energy to pull yourself out of bed. You decided to ignore it for now. You needed to shower, freshen up, and eat.
Once, Ryder made you promise to never let your misfortunes dictate your eating habits. And with the way your life was going, if you didn't do some serious damage control, you'd likely starve to death.
One shower and a meal later, you stood over the balcony in a black laced-trip camisole and jeans. You hair was washed and freshly thrown into a somewhat attractive bun. It wasn't your best look, but at least you'd done something for yourself.
Over the railings, you watched the ordinary and conventional neighborhood. Nothing ever changed. A boy a few years younger than you biked down the road, tossing newspapers in front of every house. The paper route had been delayed exactly twelve minutes, which meant he was an hour late to school. Everyone always complained, but no one was willing to take over.
Miss Hopkins sat by her window, drinking away, completely forgetting that glass was see-through. You couldn't fault her. She was old and withering away. She probably understood that life wasn't worth remembering or prolonging.
The Andersons were a family of five—a doctor who'd been friends with your dad; his drop-dead gorgeous housewife; two rambunctious boys with enough energy to power a nuclear plant, and a young girl who was a little too curious about insects. Their mother tried to tame them as they bolted around the yard, not a care for their tight homeschooling schedule. Even their dog Oreo, a spirited Dalmatian, joined in on the fun, his barks just another noise in the endless life of the streets.
Frank Hemborough washed his prized silver Rolls Royce on his driveway, careful not to wet his blue dress shirt. Why he insisted on doing this right before work, you'd never know.
This town was full of strange, boring people. They scuttled to their strange, boring lives; oblivious to the dangers that hid everywhere. The only thing separating them from death was a hot, blazing sun.
You closed your eyes, taking in the cool rush of winds.
The night of the bonfire, you'd stood over this very balcony, hiding just as many secrets but much further from discovery. Stefan wasn't a vampire, he'd just been...a guy. You'd happily invited him into your home, equally naive as your neighbors. That's what had started all of this.
You shouldn't have ignored Holly's advice. When you'd first arrived in Mystic Falls, she warned you to keep your distance from strangers. It was important to maintain current connections, not for your own emotional well-being, but to disguise your nightmarish past.
That was the night that you should've realized Stefan was a vampire. You'd seen his eyes shift under the moonlight. But you'd been so blinded by infatuation, the desire to become close with someone so warm and kind, you'd sacrificed your common sense. You'd chalked his appearance up to drugs, for God's sake. That kind of thinking would've gotten you killed in the trauma center.
Vicki's attack, Ryder's death, and Stefan's firsts steps into your life felt like it all started forever ago; but in reality, it'd only been a month.
You sighed. What could you do about Stefan? More than anything, you longed to trust him without consequence. But fate kept giving you reasons not to. And after everything that went down with Caroline, what kind of friend would that make you, to give her tormentor's brother another chance?
Stefan was the only one in Mystic Falls who could deal with Damon. Clearly, he'd been trying to take him out, albeit unsuccessfully. After all, he'd been holding a stake when you confronted him. You'd never seen him that sure about anything. Your friends were your world, and Stefan was the greatest chance your world had at staying safe.
Besides, you owed it to him to hear him out. Weakness influenced your judgment but you decided that for now, it was okay, as long as you had logic to support it.
Three strikes and he's out, you convinced yourself. One last gamble wouldn't hurt—and if it did, the two of you were over.
Stefan was struggling as much as you were. You'd never forget how hurt he looked last night. That deep, worried, panicked frown was burned into your brain. He thought that you were scared of him. You couldn't explain otherwise because that would mean telling him everything you endured in the trauma center. You could barely tell Holly. Not a trace of your experiences existed in your journal. Talking about it was another form of remembrance and you wanted to scrub your mind clean of any memories.
You sent Stefan a quick text: I’m ready to talk. Meet me at the Grill in thirty minutes.
He replied within seconds: Sounds good.
You couldn't help but smile. Despite everything, he was so attentive and engaged. He was the perfect guy, why wouldn't he have a catch?
You considered inviting him over but you needed to be somewhere public. If you were self-conscious enough, maybe you wouldn’t lose your sanity again.
Plus, your bedroom was still in disarray. You wanted to save yourself the embarrassment of having Stefan bear witness.
You carefully stepped over the glass shards blanketing your floor. If your parents saw the mess you’d become, they’d be so ashamed. Still, it was nothing compared to the shame that overhung your entire existence.
The walk to the Grill was an odd meld of peaceful and dreadful. Your father had always said that in his years of medical practice, he’d learned that exposure to nature was the best medicine.
Whenever you were sad, he’d make a cup of tea or take you for a stroll. You could almost feel him walking alongside you, prying you for answers the way doctors did, and assuring you that everything would be okay.
Stefan waited outside of the restaurant. He sat patiently at a clean table, lost in thought his gaze snapped up as you approached. He immediately fixed his posture. You pulled out your chair and sat across from him, heart thumping.
It's just Stefan, you reminded yourself. He and Robert may have belonged to the same kind but they were not the same.
You focused on his gentle, bright eyes. They were nothing like Robert’s steely brown ones. And his hands may have been strong, but they were more likely to clean your blood than draw it.
“Thank you for meeting me,” Stefan said calmly. You nodded, unsure of what to say. Your fingers tightened into fists on your lap. You glanced at the sun hanging in the sky. That was another difference between them—Robert could only wreak havoc under the moon.
“I didn’t tell anyone,” You blurted out. Stefan blinked, caught off guard by your admission. “I-In case you were wondering.”
“What are you doing?” You asked, a little too quickly. He gently placed his knuckles on the table and turned his palm to reveal a large wooden stake. Your eyes grew wide, asking a million questions at once.
“I meant it when I said I wouldn't hurt you,” was his gentle excuse. “I want you to use this on me if you feel you have to.”
You gingerly extended your hand, waiting for any sudden movements. But they never came. Your fingers brushed against his, accepting his deal.
He waited for you to secure the stake in your purse before continuing. “What do you want to know?”
You weren’t an expert on the supernatural but you knew a good deal. Vampires had heightened senses, their weaknesses were wood and fire, and it was in their nature to be violent. “How do you walk under the sun?”
“We have rings that protect us,” Stefan answered, waving his hand. Ah, you thought. Just as you suspected. You wondered what witch would be kind enough to cast a protective spell on a creature of darkness, but right now, that was the least of your worries.
You needed to know for sure if he was really that different from Robert.
You huffed in relief. So he really had nothing to do with those attacks.
“It keeps me alive, but not as strong as Damon. He can be very powerful.”
You finally understood why he had let the situation with Caroline transpire. Damon was a hot-headed psychopath for sure. Stefan wasn’t holding back because he loved his brother. He was physically weakened by his own peaceful existence. He didn’t have the strength to defy Damon and pissing him off…well, pissing him off might’ve made things even worse for Caroline.
“Vervain,” Stefan replied. A waitress set down two mugs before you. He immediately clammed up, not wanting to say too much, but all you could think about was how suspicious that looked. You gave her a smile and small thanks. He waited for her to disappear into the restaurant before continuing. “It’s one of our weaknesses. The night of the founder’s party, I slipped some into Caroline’s drink. I knew that he would try to feed on her and when he did, he’d lose consciousness.”
You nodded slowly, trying to process this new information, and laid clasped hands on the table. So that’s why he’d left you at the lake. He must’ve seen Damon pursuing Caroline and knew that it was his only opportunity to defeat him. It also explained why he offered the glass…he was throwing his brother off the scent, doing something suspicious enough to fail so he’d never see the real attack coming. And Damon was so smug, he’d actually fallen for it.
You didn’t know much about vervain, except that it was a plant used to treat anxiety, abdominal pain, and inflammation. Your mom used to have a garden full of it, as she knew how often your dad prepared tea. He saved that plant for your worst days.
“It’s uh…” Stefan cleared his throat. “It’s also in the necklace I gave you.”
You glanced at the silver jewelry on your throat. You’d nearly forgotten it was there. It’d sincerely become a part of you, just as natural as the face you’d grown so accustomed to seeing. You didn’t even take it off when you were sleeping.
Maybe your connection to Stefan wasn’t dulling your instincts as much as you thought. Somehow, your subconscious knew that it was too important to let go, and that protected you from Damon.
“Y/N.” He leaned forward and slowly reached for your hands, giving you time to pull away. Your mind ticked with reminders of Robert. Reluctantly, you withdrew.
You could see him and listen to him, but touching him was too much. The last time a vampire other than Ryder made contact with you…God, the thought made you shiver. “Give me today. I will answer any questions that you have. And when it’s over, you can decide for yourself what you wanna do with what you know. It’ll be your choice.”
You deciphered what he really meant: You can decide if you still want me to be in your life.
Want wasn’t the problem. Your desires were as clear as the churchbell tolling in the distance. The problem was that you couldn’t distinguish what you wanted from what was best for everyone.
You sighed. One day. That’s all he was asking for. You’d already settled on giving him a third chance. You survived this get-together without having a major panic attack. You could be alone with him, as long as you kept your distance.
“Okay,” You agreed. “You get one day.”
Anyone who grew up in Mystic Falls knew that the forest wasn’t just a forest—it was a second home. For some, it was the first.
You had so many memories of this area: running around the foliage, pretending to be a fairy or princess or pirate, all of those adventurous lives that innocent children imagined.
As you got older, you sneaked into the woods for late-night rendezvous with Vicki. It was a guilty pleasure of yours, the only way to escape the hostility at home.
Your dad had looked at you like you were a problem, like he missed the child you’d once been and couldn’t stand the substance abuser that took your place. Your mom’s eyes were glossed with sadness every time she looked at you. She’d always been on your ass about grades and friendship. She worried about you spending less time with Bonnie and Caroline, something about Vicki being a “bad influence.” She accused you of straining your relationship with Matt on purpose and of course, you’d laughed in her face. You’d thought it was so typical of her, to expect you to have the picture-perfect fairy tale romance she did with your father.
But you weren’t like her. You weren’t an academic, the nice girl next door with ambitions and a grand life beyond this stunted town.
Every time you were reminded of that, you ran away, into the arms of the ominous forest.
Sometimes, you’d stand over the waterfall or take in the beautiful green surrounding you. Other times, when you were really lonely and isolated, you sought the barren parts of the forest. You hid under naked branches, where the sun and moon cast sinister shadows. Back then, the dark was all you had to fear.
And now Stefan was bringing you back, guiding you through a maze of trees that provided a cover from the sun. After all this time, you felt safe enough to let him drag you through the woods, all alone. If Ryder were alive, he might have an aneurysm.
Stefan’s phone vibrated in his pocket but he ignored it, concentrating only on where he wanted to go. The woods were vast but you’d spent sixteen years navigating them. Where could he possibly take you that you hadn’t already been?
You swatted at yet another insect that’d buzzed a little too close to you in the past three hours. At least, it felt like three hours. You checked the time on your phone: 11:02am. Okay, so it’d been firty-six minutes. Still, it was fifty-six minutes too long.
You supposed that was partially your fault. You’d refused to bring Jenna’s SUV, still recovering from its usage the night before. The only reason you’d driven it to Stefan’s house was because you were desperate to eliminate the threat on Caroline. Your own fears hadn’t crossed your mind once. Now that you’d calmed down, you were not looking forward to stepping in another vehicle for a very long time.
Stefan led you to a place where sunlight poured into the open, striking patches of grass, separating a flock of birds that fluttered to the sky upon noticing your presence. He came to a sudden stop, eyes racking over the area. It was somewhat familiar. You might’ve been here once or twice, exploring with your best friends.
You recognized two chipped brick structures that seemed to go nowhere, holding run-down decorative statues. Stefan stared at it in a pensive silence. To you, it was an ancient nothingness worn by time. But to him, it was a timeless memory.
“Was it this place?” You asked, glancing over the splinters and decay.
You grimaced, though not from disgust. You couldn’t imagine seeing your childhood home as a rotting, almost nonexistent architecture. It had the charm of an old-timey foundation but it lacked any spirit or life. “It looks so…”
“Old?” Stefan finished, looking at you. He waited for the wheels in your head to turn. Your frown deepened. There was one question you’d never asked, once you hadn’t even considered.
“Wait…” You exhaled. “Exactly how old are you?”
Stefan held your gaze, bracing himself for your reaction before the final confession.
“I’ve been seventeen years old since 1864.”
You inhaled sharply and gradually released your breath. Heavy thoughts escaped you, leaving a light and airy bubble of a brain.
When you were eight, your dad took your family to your uncle John’s house, which was just a few towns over. He lived in a large home, bigger than any one person needed, and in his backyard had the prettiest pool you’d ever seen. Its sparkles were a warm invitation and how could you decline?
You hadn’t been wearing a bathing suit, but you weren’t one to let anything stop you. So you kicked off your shoes and jumped in. Of course, you hadn’t considered one minor detail: you had no idea how to swim.
But you loved to play in your bathtub and you’d watched The Little Mermaid at least ten times so you figured, how hard could it be?
As it turned out, it was unfeasible. You’d barely stood a chance. You thrashed your tiny arms about, grasping for anything to elevate you, and kicked your feet helplessly. It was the first time in your whole existence that you’d come to terms with mortality.
You’d closed your eyes as you sank to the bottom, certain that this would be the end. You’d lived a good eight years…and now the last thing you’d taste was chlorine.
But then a strong arm reached in and pulled you out. You slammed straight into your Uncle John’s chest. He looked absolutely horrified.
You’d always perceived him as rather indifferent. He kept such distance from you and your brother, despite being so warm with your parents. Well, as warm as Uncle John could be. That was the first and last time you felt that he actually cared about you.
He’d clung onto you as tightly as you’d clung onto him.
You’d never forget that feeling of suffocation before the sudden pull. That’s what it was like when Stefan told you the truth.
You leaned on the bricks for support.
He lived long enough for that old man to recognized him, so you'd figured he'd had a couple years on his belt, maybe a few decades or so. But this?
Jesus Christ, he was a real vampire. Ryder had been a new transition, one of the few who'd been so favored that he was selected to join the others. Robert had only been destroying lives for fifty years at most. But this was inconceivable.
“Eighteen—” You wheezed. “Eighteen sixty-four?” You'd thought that you'd known everything but you'd only seen a morsel of the truth. You nearly laughed at how absurd this was. It seemed that despite all of this, you both had the potential to surprise each other. “Stefan, That's a year before Abraham Lincoln died! Lincoln! Do you hear how insane that is?”
“You said you wanted to know,” He responded. “I’m not gonna hold anything back.”
You were grateful for the transparency. It was almost a comfort to be on the receiving end of insane bombshells. Almost.
“Half a century before the boarding house was even built, this was my family's home. Damon and I…” He turned away from the statues and started down a tannish dirt path. You glanced at them one last time and followed after him. “We were both born here. The Salvatore brothers, the best of friends.”
Further down the trail, more of his lost home awaited. You stood at his side, absorbing your surroundings.
Fractured brick structures were strewn across the wild grass, now only shelter to small animals cowering in the shade. A small bunny peeked out, head tilted as it studied you and Stefan, then scampered back under a pile of branches.
You remembered this place. As children, you, Matt, Tyler, Bonnie, and Caroline came here. Your dad had supervised, carrying a large blanket and picnic basket, watching the five of you with a smile on his face.
You’d played a game of warring royalty, pretending the bricks were a stone fortress and that the sticks you threw at each other were cannonballs. Caroline was the princess, of course, who’d waged war against Prince Tyler.
You pictured Stefan and Damon as children, running around freely in this same spot, not yet tainted by the cruelty of life. They must have been so happy together. It was a far cry from their relationship now. Suddenly, you became sad for them.
“What happened?” You asked gently.
You snatched your attention away from the scenery. “Wait, you knew Katherine back in 1864? But Damon made it seem like…”
“Damon was trying to make you think that I was still heartbroken,” Stefan explained, stepping in front of you. His tired eyes searched for a connection with yours. “He saw that I was happy with you, and he wanted to ruin it.”
You looked down at your sneakers. They were smudged with dirt, partly due to this long walk, but mostly due to the month you’d spent wearing them but forgetting to keep them clean.
When you met Stefan’s eyes once more, he was still studying you with that piercing gaze of his. You noticed that every time he saw you, he struggled to look away.
“All because you loved the same woman 145 years ago?” You asked, frowning. Damon was many things, but you didn’t figure him to be so petty. This seemed like overkill, even for him.
“She wasn't just any girl.”
You scoffed. "The way you talk about her, she must've had the face of Aphrodite."
Something about your words made Stefan pause. He stared at you for a good moment, lips slightly parted, a strange sentiment in his eyes. "She was."
Your eyebrows drew closer together. Why was he looking at you like that?
“Damon was a soldier for the Confederacy, drafted against his will,” Stefan explained. You hung onto every word, trying to make sense of his history, and found a marbled bench a couple yards away. “He hated it, as I’m sure you can imagine. When he requested to extend his stay here, I wasn’t surprised.”
Hm. You couldn’t imagine Damon on the frontlines for anything, not even something as evil as the Confederacy.
“There was an upcoming ball being held at the Lockwood Mansion, in honor of our town’s founders. When Katherine mentioned that she needed an escort, we jumped at the chance. She chose me.”
Wait…1864…founders ball…Lockwood Mansion. Why did that…
“The First Founders’ Party,” You realized aloud, barely above a whisper. Stefan nodded, that same intense look burned into his features. “Where you signed the registry.”
You carefully fell onto the bench. This really put his age into perspective. Stefan stood above you. “I didn't care that I had gotten something that my brother wanted. I didn't even care if it hurt him. I only knew that I wanted her.”
“That's the thing about Damon,” Stefan said, shaking his head. “He doesn't get mad—he just gets even. What Damon wants, Damon usually gets. I didn't know it at the time, but...turns out that night...Katherine was with him too.”
“So he stole her from you, not the other way around?”
“Turns out she wasn't ours to steal.”
He went further into the story, detailing the night that Katherine revealed she was a vampire. He’d told her that he wanted to love her forever and you guessed she took that literally. Stefan went on to say that she did the same to Damon, then compelled them to keep the secret from each other, keeping them both in a twisted and non-consensual polyamorous relationship.
Your stomach turned as he recounted these events. What kind of person would look at two brothers who loved each other and then purposefully tear them apart?
“Looks like we’re stuck with each other,” Stefan said regretfully, fiddling something in between his fingers. “Whether we like it or not.”
Your sight followed his hands. When you saw the item glinting in the sun, your jaw dropped. You’d seen this very object before, but not on Stefan’s skin. It’d been on Damon’s. “Is that your brother’s ring?”
He nodded. “I took it from him. But I have to give it back.”
“Are you crazy? Stefan, don’t,” You insisted, ignoring his exhausted gaze. You jumped to your feet and made your way to him, shoes crunching on dead leaves. “Keep it hidden.”
“Y/N…if I don’t give to him, he’ll retaliate in the only way he knows he can hurt me.”
“And how’s that?” You asked. Damon was a vampire but so was Stefan. And if he killed him, well…good luck getting his ring back.
Fear laced his voice as he explained “By hurting you.”
“I don’t care!” Your shout sent the lone bunny running off into the woods, but you were too wound up to realize. Stefan frowned but you went on. “He can kill me so long as he never touches Caroline again!”
“Y/N, listen to me,” Stefan enunciated. He slowly raised his hand to your face, caressing your cheek. Your heartbeat quickened but you held your breath steadily. “I won’t let him hurt you. That’s why I gave you the necklace, to protect you from Damon's compulsion." And it worked. Damon had tried to compel you to kiss him at that cursed football match. If he'd succeeded, your bond with Caroline would've been permanently severed. You gagged at the realization.
"But..." Stefan said softly and dropped his hand, pulling you from your disgust. "I also wanted to protect you from me."
Today had completely changed your outlook on everything. You'd been so centered on how dangerous he could be, you hadn't even noticed how much he'd been shielding you all of this time. But you weren't the only one who needed to be kept safe.
“Vervain. Can’t we get her some to protect her from Damon?”
“I doubt Damon will come for her after what happened last time.”
Stefan must’ve seen the scared look on your face and the distress you’d tried to hide behind practicality. He hesitated for a moment, but then said “I will keep her safe. Don’t worry.”
You wanted to argue, to demand answers and force him to list all of his solutions. But you also wanted to trust that he’d keep his word. If you couldn’t depend on him to protect your friends, what good was giving him a third chance?
“Fine then,” You murmured. Hearing Stefan's past reminded you that people went far beyond their present. Yes, he and Robert had similar traits but they couldn't be any more different.
Stefan wasn't always a vampire. He was a child, just like you'd been. He played in this same area. He'd had parents and a loving relationship with his brother. If anything, he was closer to humanity than he was to monstrosity.
You inspected his home with caution. This was one of many troubles Stefan didn't have the luxury of sharing with anyone. You hoped that telling you would lessen the weight of it all.
During this discussion, you realized that you hadn't reached for the stake once. You wondered if Stefan had noticed too, then mentally scoffed. Of course he'd noticed.
“Do you ever wish you could go back?”
“Sometimes,” Stefan admitted, a glimmer of melancholy in his eyes. “Things were different back then. There was no technology, and weapons weren't as advanced. People, for the most part, valued human connection. I think that Damon and I could have made a real difference in that time.”
“And you'd have Katherine.”
“But I wouldn't have you.”
Your heart skipped a beat. “Is that your make-or-break?”
“You know how much I care about you.”
You did. However, you was still weren't sure why. There was nothing particularly interesting or unique about you. You were just like any girl in your grade—in fact, maybe some of them were better options.
“Can I be honest with you?” You said. “When I found out what you were, I thought you might be here to hurt me. Like…maybe you inserted yourself into my life to toy with me.”
He didn't look angry by your confession, quite the opposite actually. “I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“Then why are you doing this?” You asked, stopping. He turned so you were face-to-face, but he made a point of avoiding your eyes. “I mean…why me? If you don’t have any bad intentions, then why risk exposure?”
Stefan went quiet. You worried he wouldn't answer at all when he finally broke the silence. “You’ve reminded me what it’s like to be human again.”
Your eyes softened. It was a very human thing to walk to a restaurant, have a group date, get invited to a chaotic bonfire. That was part of the reason it'd taken you so long to uncover the truth. He wasn't a vampire in human skin—he was a human in a vampire's skin.
“We should go back,” You said softly, already setting down the trail.
His gaze lingered on you for just a moment, then what was left of the house he'd once lived in.
After a few seconds of contemplation, he slowly followed after you, leaving the ruins of his past behind.
next chapter: final strike
