i know what im doing

Erik was smart in being able to figure out what people truly meant when they spoke, but he was giving Rachel benefit of the doubt as he was always more soft toward children rather than adults. He thought some people could be such disappointments. “Did you want me to talk to her or just keep an eye on where she’s going? I can try to figure out where your friend is going at night.”

“You have a good point. It is always better to focus on what you have at your side. Nothing can compare to a good ally, that is true.” Although. Erik has often been alone in is quests, and other times he did have other mutants at his side that believed in what he did. The brotherhood almost seeming like a long time ago now. 

“What favor do you have in mind? I’m listening.” Erik can try to do his best in aiding whatever she needed. All of his life experience should be able to offer some sort of answer.

Klara supposed the other girl was right. Besides, she didn’t really know which bedroom she’d been staying in now–did she just pick one?–so she wasn’t sure where else to go. She could go find Pietro or Anna but she didn’t know where they were. “It’s okay,” she murmurs as she sits back down. Was this girl new? Or had she perhaps arrived during Klara’s absence? Either way, she doesn’t recognise her.

Rachel took this to mean they’d both be staying. “Okay.” She chose her seat tactically, positioning herself slightly behind the other girl so as to keep an eye on her but remain out of view so Klara could feel alone. She tapped her fingers on the back of her book in thought. She really shouldn’t but who would it hurt if she just peaked in to check and see... No, it was impolite, this wasn’t life or deal, she was just being nosy. You could always ask her you know? a voice of reason in her head offered. The paranoid shut down that suggestion almost instantly. She wasn’t meant to draw attention to herself. However she thought she had a compromise:

Kitty is taken back a bit but she doesn’t let it show. “Happy little creatures,” she says, leaving the couch she’s sitting on to sit beside Rachel. “Let’s see… They’re usually associated with glitter and sparkle and happiness. Freedom.” She looks into the other girl’s eyes at that last bit. She didn’t know her story but she’d seen the look before. In Logan and in Laura. Like something awful had been forced upon her. 

“Oh.” Rachel nodded. She felt like she was still missing a piece of information. It felt juvenile. Why would did this girl want her to pick between two things that aren’t even real? Happiness and Freedom... “Unicorns, I guess?” She answered, figuring asking for continued explanation would prove fruitless. She smiled slightly before turning back to her notes, hoping there wouldn’t be a follow up.

Olivier had things to do, he couldn’t always be by her side. Holding her hand. All this power she had, her mother’s and her father’s. It was useless in saving Noah, in bringing him back. What could she do in her anger? It was better to cry then risk following in the footsteps of her father and blowing everything up. So that’s what she does, knees drawn to her chest and head and back against the wall. She cries, the ceiling fan a blur through her clouded eyes. Noah had taken care of her, he picked her up and dusted her off and gave her a home. He gave her a chance to find her way back to her actual home. And now that she was here, she wondered if it was all worth it. 

Hearing Rachel outside, she looks over tiredly. Tired from crying and from hurting, and from missing her parents. Noah included. “Hey…” she says hoarsely. She lifts her hand, using her mother’s power- their mother’s power, to open the door. It swings open quietly and Kate offers her the worst attempt at a smile known to man. Her lips instantly fold, trying to keep her crying at bay. Sometimes she thought maybe she felt too much, and that’s why Arlo did things like this. Sent their cousin in his stead, because he did the exact opposite. He buried everything, especially pain, deep inside of himself. But Kate couldn’t do that, because she knew if she did then someday she might just explode. “You don’t have to watch me, you know. But I appreciate it.”

“I’m not here to watch you.” Rachel told Kate. Her voice was in opposition to her older cousin’s. It was calm, level, and direct. Rachel bent down to her side. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I know Noah meant a lot to you.”

Rachel did her best to pull up and pin back Kate’s hair so it wouldn’t get stuck in her eyes. She looked a bit silly with her hair like that but they weren’t preparing for a beauty pageant were they?

“It’s not your fault, Katie.” She affirmed. It was hard not to hear, to feel, what Kate was feeling. Especially when it was so strong. Rachel leaned her head against the side of the bed and imitated Kate’s posture, watching the ceiling carefully as if it would give her further insight into her fellow time traveler’s troubles. “You weren’t his watcher. He wouldn’t want you to see it as your failure.”

Klara wipes the tears from her face quickly when she hears footsteps entering the lounge room she sat in. Without a bedroom currently, she hadn’t known where to go and so ended up here, empty at the time. The conversation with Charlotte only cemented everything she’d felt in regretting leaving, cutting deeper with rejection. What irony, that her leaving out of fear of rejection from one she loved would lead to that exact thing from another.

“Um, hi. I can.. I can leave if you need this.. this room,” she says quickly, standing up from the couch. 

“You were here first.” Rachel said, matter-of-factually. She’d have had to be stupid to miss the girls puffy, blood-shot eyes or the sheen on her checks where tears had been hastily wiped aside. It was none of Rachel’s concern. Still, she watched with a small curiosity as to the severity did cross her mind. She pictured Kate crying in Olivier’s room. This needn’t be as serious as death, she thought. Unless it was, a voice reminded her. She aught not judge so harshly. “I can go elsewhere if you want to be alone. But I don’t mind sharing the room if you don’t.”

Rachel didn’t need telepathy to be burdened with Kate’s sadness; her ears worked just fine. She could tell that her cousin was trying to stifle it and it made her pause a moment outside the door. Maybe if she left her for just one more hour... But she knew she shouldn’t. She’d already given Kate an extra hour. It would be bad to leave her any longer. For the mission, sure but more importantly Kate didn’t deserve to feel sad forever. She rolled her eyes thinking back to what Arlo had said, “Keep an eye on her.” Kate might be a bit soft but she wasn’t exactly a child.

Rachel pressed her ear to the door making sure one last time that Olivier had in fact left. The only sound she could hear and the only mind she could feel belonged to Kate. “Katie...” Rachel whispered, tapping gently at the door. “Mind if I come in? Arlo told me what happened.”

It was a question that Erik hadn’t been asked often, but he stands there in silence for a moment thinking it over. Realistically no one was perfect, but some may call him stubborn in believing in his own methods so much. “When you have done the things I have you gain a lot of enemies along the way. Which is fine, I’m doing everything for you, and them, and all of mutant kind. I don’t do it to make friends. Which saying that, surely there are some students who aren’t happy to have me for a teacher.” 

Erik smiles though as he takes a deep breath. “Everyone has their moments, but even though I’m in here my mindset haven’t changed.”

Rachel nods as affirmation before quickly diverting eye contact. “I think you’re a lovely teacher.” She knew that didn’t matter and that all the good he would put out in his time here would be quickly undone and worse and partly by her own hand. “Besides. What’s an army of enemies to one good ally?

“Anyway,” She began, eyes dashing around the room looking for something to change the subject to. Her wristband caught her eye and for once she remembered the mission they were supposed to be completing. “I’ve actually been hoping to run into you at some point because I’ve got a sort of favor to ask of you, if you wouldn’t mind?”

Kitty had seen the girl around, usually with her head down. Not bothering to make conversation or friends. It didn’t bother her. Well it did, but that’s only because she thought everyone should have friends. This place could get lonely without them. Being who they were could get downright dismal. She flashes Rachel a big smile, “Ya sparkle. Ya shine.” She’s imitating the Southern teacher who is busy making holiday crafts on the floor with a few of the younger children. It earns her a side-eye but that doesn’t deter her. 

For a split second, the corner of Rachel’s mouth twitched up at her imitation that conjured an image of Olivier. She’d never met Mrs. LeBeau but she imagined it was funny for similar reasons. “I don’t know what that means.” She tried to explain to the other student. Rachel blinked, watching her intently as if the answer would appear on her forehead if she looked hard enough. 

Arlo didn’t want to see it, what had been done to her (and know that he couldn’t have stopped it) but it isn’t his choice. It’s hers to reveal as she wishes and he wouldn’t look away if she wanted to be seen. He resists the urge to take her in his arms and keep her there. She didn’t need him to shelter her from the world, but he’d still do it in a heartbeat if she asked. She was more his sister than Kate was, and maybe it was shitty to feel that way but he did. 

Sighing, he rubs the back of his neck and steps back. “I think she’s still in Oli’s room,” crying for sure, “But start keeping an eye on her whenever she comes out. If she comes out.” Realizing how off it sounds, and a little mean, he tries to amend his statement. “I don’t blame her if it’s awhile, Noah has been taking care of her for years.” He might not feel much about not having spoken to his father in so long, but Kate was attached to their dad. Well, her own version of Alex. So when she’d been forced through the time rips and landed at Noah’s feet, she’d taken to him like a duckling.

“I’ll go look for her in an hour or so and get her to come out if she hasn’t already.” The statement carried none of the harshness that Arlo’s had. It was simply a fact. Rachel would let her ball her eyes out for now and then Rachel would make sure she stopped because Kate needed both those things. Kate felt so much all the time and Rachel couldn’t imagine the headache that must be. To never be able to turn it all off. 

“Hey Arlo.” Rachel reached over to turn the danger room controls off complacently. She didn’t feel like practicing any more. “The circumstances are bad but I’m still glad you’re here.”

“Mermaids or unicorns?” Kitty’s voice breaks the silence in the lounge. She looks around to find any takers before leaning forward, finger on the page of her open book to keep her place. “Choose your sparkle. Mermaids? Unicorns?” The book of mythology on her lap looks old as dirt, and she’d found it in the school’s library. No one seemed to know where it came from and it wasn’t particularly sunshiney and wonder-like as she’d expected it to be. So she made her own fun.

Rachel looked up confused. She’d kept to herself outside of classes; kept her head down. The easiest way to keep cover was to not give anyone the chance to ask questions. With the way things were going as is, they couldn’t afford another hiccup. This girl wasn’t really talking to her, right? In fact, Rachel was confidence they didn’t have any classes together. “I’m sorry. My what?”

“Well I like to think my teachings are making a difference, but this isn’t the way I usually go about getting my viewpoint across. I’m sure you know that though, don’t you? I’m here for Charles and Raven, giving their way a shot.”

“Yes.” She answered as affirmation to both his teaching abilities and how they’d changed. “But don’t you ever worry you’re both wrong?” She liked Xavier’s ideals but at the end of the day, they failed her and her Magneto stayed soured on his old methodology. So, what was the answer? She thought Arlo and Olivier believed that knew and she was sure they’d both be wrong one day too. 

Her affect changed, a smile taking the place of a frown, realizing the path she was searing this conversation in. “You don’t have to answer that. I just never pictured you as a man who was unsure of anything. I wanted to gage your confidence.”

Arlo sighs, he hated seeing her upset. Rather, her own version of upset. She was good at hiding things, at appearing unaffected. When she bites her lip he touches her chin gently with his thumb, prying the poor thing from between her unforgiving teeth. “What we’re going to do is stay alive,” he says calmly, despite the storm raging inside of him. But when wasn’t he full of thunder and all things destruction? “Olivier is taking care of the specifics and I’ve already gotten rid of the body. They’ll just think Noah flew the coop.” They being the administrators at this school. “It’s for the best.”

It felt like pretending Noah didn’t matter, like his death didn’t leave a gaping hole in some of them, but it was what they had to do. They had to pretend he meant nothing to them, other than another teacher. “I need you to do me a favor,” he says blandly, looking over her head. He didn’t like talking about Kate, he didn’t like even looking at Kate for longer than a second, but he had to right now. “Kate and Noah… She cared about him more than any of us did. Olivier can’t keep an eye on her all the time, he’s in charge now. I need you to make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid, you know how emotional she gets.”

“There are worst things than dying.” Rachel warned, momentarily dropping her psychic illusion to reveal the scared tattoos that branded her face as evidence. Still, she felt her body relax as Arlo reassured her. 

She listen carefully to the plan. To what he said and what he meant. The boys were already taking care of Noah. Good, she thought. She could let herself believe he’d left on his own terms too without ever seeing a body. She was well versed in pretending things hadn’t happened. They all were. 

When he broke eye-contact, Rachel knew exactly what he’d ask, or rather who he’d talk about. She couldn’t understand his grudge against Kate’s existence. She’d always been so nice to Rachel, to all of them for that matter. What did it matter where she was from? As far as Rachel was concerned Kate was as much family as Arlo. “Of course.” She nodded. He was right though, someone did need to keep an eye on her.