The Ahab Slocum Blog Experience

All my best comebacks occur to me years, decades after the fact. I still dream that one day I will have the most perfect, exquisitely devastating comeback in the very moment.

Do you want a view? Here's a view. The women on The View shouldn't be asked anything. Not even how their day is going, nothing. They are a suspicious mole on the body politic. Just more uninformed Boomer bullshit artists bullshitting, with their pet Millennial/Republican for a sideshow. The View has dropped more IQ points than lead paint.

Some people are alphas, some are betas. I'm in an entirely different alphabet, I'm not even in the same game.

Je suis fatigué de cette nation, de cette planète. Sortez moi.

Why does anyone use Twitter? To enjoy Trump's lies first-hand? Or so someone can dig up some dipshit thing you said 15 years ago and get you cancelled? Why use social media at all? Why am I here? Other than to sow the seeds of my destruction in 2035?

Well this is turning out to be a turd of a year.

Until they make some sexahol, there's no such thing as a sexaholic. Same goes for workahol and chocohol.

Misoprosopia, n., the quality of having a face that begs being punched. Gk. "miso" (hate) + "prosopos" (face).

COVID-washing, noun. Like green-washing, but when corporations feign solidarity over the coronavirus. See: all television commercials right now.

To the inside partisan hacks on the New York elections board, fuck you. I don't know what game you're running, but the Biden campaign didn't ask for this. The DNC didn't ask for this. You can either let me vote for Bernie now, or I can write him in in November. Just hope other Bernie supporters don't get the same idea, or you might see the hashtag #rednewyork trending on November 4th.