im supposed to be writing college essays and i made these gentlemen bastards memes instead enjoy
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@afunctionalstateofmind
im supposed to be writing college essays and i made these gentlemen bastards memes instead enjoy

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Upgrade your life
-Drink Water
-Pee after sex
-Don’t creep on your ex/crushes social media
-Get Tested
- Increase fruits/vegetables in your diet
-Let go of toxic people
-It’s okay to cut family off
-Do what’s best for your wellbeing always
-Most importantly, LOVE YOU
lmao = leave my ass olone
sorry i’m late, professor. im disenchanted with the human experience and waking up every morning thrusts me into an instant existential crisis

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Locke: If pressed, I'll use the never-fail universal apology.
Nikoros: What's the never-fail universal apology?
Locke: I was badly misinformed, I deeply regret the error, go fuck yourself with this bag of money.
me: characters never grieve realistically. they cry maybe once and then they're fine. Their dead friend might get a throw-away mention like 'Blank would have liked this. She's in a better place' but that's about it. It's like death doesn't really have an impact beyond shock value for the reader.
me: *reads the gentleman bastards series*
me:
me:
me: i didn't know what i was asking for take it back.
When you see a spider

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how to really get to know someone:
- look at their handwriting
- read their favourite book and search for pieces of them within the pages
- listen to their music and let it resonate with you
- go to their favourite place
- stay up ‘till 3am and let them spill their heart out to you
- ask them unusual questions that you never even thought would intrigue you
- spend a day with them doing nothing
- look out for the things they subconsciously do when they’re happy
- watch how their smile forms
- go through old photos with them
- use their body wash when you shower at the persons place (truly, you’ll feel it)
- talk to their parents, grandparents or siblings
I love the ones added <3
-Make them laugh and learn their different laughs (my personal fave to share with someone is the sleepy-drunk laugh)
- make art with them, sitting in the silence just drawing or painting, or having deep conversations while making art, both realllyyy connect them
- spent time with their pets (but not too much because they might be jealous) - notice how they squeeze the toothpaste bottle.
- let them tell you their dreams and ask if you can look it up for them, share the results.
- learn their impulse buys/decisions
^^^ ahhh these are so cute!!
Certain kinds of knowledge rob people of their sleep.
Haruki Murakami, 1Q84 (via wordsnquotes)
The random “you’re beautiful” messages are so sweet I swear
@therelatabletexts (via therelatabletexts)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming