everythingicanputin

Stripping for inspection by @bighandsmaster before hitting the gym. On leg day, my gymwear includes my dick locked up as usual and a buttplug so that my workout is more complete as my ass turns into an open and gaping cunt.

The best faggots are vessels not only for cock, but also for piss. Here are 25 tasks for toilet fags to partake in as part of their training:

Stick your head in your toilet at home and flush.

Visit the mensroom at your local bar, fast food restaurant, gas station—whatever’s convenient—and clean the urinals with your tongue. Piss stains, stray pubes, loogies, cigarette butts—whatever’s on or in the urinal should end up in your mouth, then in your belly.

For a whole day, collect your piss or your Sir’s piss in bottles; at the end of the day, use an enema to douche yourself with the piss.

Challenge yourself to make a tasty “cock”-tail that utilizes piss and alcohol as main ingredients (along with whatever other mixers and ingredients you deem appropriate), then post the recipe online for your fellow faggots to make at home.

Take some empty milk jugs to the local gas station, mall, truck stop, etc., and fill them with piss and toilet water you find in the toilets. Take the jugs home and use them to bathe with.

Ask your Sir to fill a water bottle with his piss. Go to the gym and exercise. Use His piss to hydrate.

Visit a local leather or kink bar and kneel beside the urinals. Spend an hour or two there and see what the Men do. Will they laugh? Will they piss on you? Will they ignore you? Will they piss down your throat? Whatever they do, you must stay put and behave like you’re just another one of urinals.

Get a popsicle mold and fill it will your piss or your Sir’s piss. Freeze. Enjoy a tasty frozen treat, or use the piss-cicle to fuck yourself.

Drop three apples into a piss-filled toilet. Get on your knees. Go bobbing for apples!

Visit a bar. Remove your underwear in the mensroom. Ball them up and put them in a urinal beside the urinal cake. Return an hour or a few hours later. Fetch your underwear, which should now be soaked with piss. Put them back on and wear them the rest of the night.

Visit your local truck stop. Scour the grounds and garbage cans to find a “trucker bomb” (a container a truck driver used to piss in while He was on the road). Chug it.

Go on Craigslist and advertise yourself as a urinal, either in your own home or in a secure public restroom somewhere. Establish “office hours” during which the “urinal” will be open and invite Men to come empty their bladder. Keep a tally of how many piss loads you drink.

Visit a bathhouse. Write “urinal” on your lower back and draw an arrow pointing to your cunt. Bend over and allow Men to come deposit their piss when they need to take a pee break.

Purchase a piss gag. Use it.

Hungry? Go to a mensroom. Bring a piece of bread with you. Use the bread to wipe the rim of the urinals. Eat up.

When you brush your teeth, use piss instead of water to wet the toothbrush.

Forbid yourself from using the toilet for a day. Instead, pee in bowls, glasses, etc. Store it in the fridge. At the end of the day, you must drink everything that you pissed out over the course of the day.

Have Your Sir piss all over the toilet and floor. Use your tongue to clean it up.

Instead of milk, eat your morning cereal with piss.

Soak a pair of underwear with your piss or your Sir’s piss. Wring the undies out into your mouth.

Fill a glass with piss — yours or your Sir’s. Drink it with a straw.

Fill a jug with piss. Use it to wash your hair. The piss must be used to create lather, and to rinse the lather from your hair. Style your hair as usual before you leave the house.

Piss yourself in public.

Make a can of condensed soup for lunch. Like chicken noodle. Instead of adding a can of water, add a can of piss.

Visit a bar with your Sir. Order Him a beer. When He’s done, have Him take it to the restroom and fill it with His piss. This is to be your “beer,” which you will drink in front of all the other bar patrons as if were real beer.

Men have asses. Faggots, however, have pussies — and pussies were designed to be used by Men. If You’re a Man who’s lucky enough to own Your own fag-pussy, here are 20 ways to make it as useful to You as possible:

Fuck it: It goes without saying: Pussies were made to take cock. If You own a fag-cunt, therefore, it’s Your right to fuck it full of Man-meat at every opportunity. Standing or lying down. Balls-deep or just the tip. Hard or soft. In public or in private. It’s Your choice, as long as You slide in and use that faghole how nature intended.

Breed it: Like flowers need water, pussies need cum. Especially fag-pussies. When You have a faghole around, there’s no need to use socks, T-shirts or tissues to catch Your cum. That’s messy and just creates laundry and/or garbage. Instead of shooting Your sperm into something You’ll have to wash or throw away, therefore, shoot into a fag-pussy. It feels good, and it’s easy cleanup!

Spank it: The outside of a faggot’s pussy can be just as useful as the inside. Case in point: spanking. If You’re angry, frustrated or just woke up on the wrong side of the bed, beat Your faggot’s cunt with Your hand, a paddle or a belt. You’ll feel better after the beating, guaranteed.

Piss in it: Faggots can’t piss from their pussies. But they can definitely take piss in their pussies. This can be useful in a number of situations. If there’s no toilet around, for example, You can always use Your fag’s hole. If You’re bored and want to be entertained, You can piss in Your fag’s hole — then make him hold it in, watching and delighting as he squirms. Insist that Your faggot always have a clean pussy, but don’t have a douche around? Your pissing cock is the only enema he needs.

Toy-fuck it: Pussies need to get fucked. But nobody said You had to use Your cock. Try using a dildo, instead. Or a butt plug. It’s kind of like gardening, except instead of tilling soil You’re tilling a fag-cunt. (Incidentally, toy-fucking a faghole can be just as relaxing and enjoyable a hobby as gardening!)

Finger it: Men work out their bodies, but they often forget to work out their fingers. Finger-fucking a fag-pussy is a good way to keep your digits strong and nimble.

Share it: If You’re looking to make new friends, or strengthen existing friendships, try sharing Your faggot’s pussy, or loaning it out to another Man. Nothing builds male friendships faster than bonding over a fag-cunt. Want to become even closer with a new acquaintance or a longtime buddy? Double-fuck the fag-pussy! The physical closeness that comes from double penetration can’t help but lead to social and emotional closeness, too.

Store things in it: Men don’t carry purses. Luckily, a fag-pussy has plenty of storage space. It’s a secure place to stash Your weed, for instance. It’s a good place to store a baseball bat so that it doesn’t fall over. It’s a convenient place to keep loose change. The sky’s the limit, really.

Fuck it with food: Nobody likes wasting produce. So if You’ve got a banana, cucumber, carrot or squash that’s on the verge of going bad, use it to fuck Your faggot’s pussy. That way it won’t go to waste after all!

Write on it: Whether You need to leave a note for Yourself (e.g., “Pick up milk,” if You need to remember), for Your fellow Men (e.g., “Insert cock here” with an arrow pointing at the faghole, so Men at the bathhouse or gym know it’s available to fuck) or for Your faggot (e.g., “Slut,” in case he looks in the mirror and forgets what he is), a faggot’s pussy is a great piece of stationery for the job.

Decorate with it: Having people over for a party? Have Your faggot get on his knees, head down and pussy up. Then, put whatever You like in the faggot’s pussy — for example, flowers, a flag or a candle — for decorative purposes.

Fist it: Fag pussies don’t look like they can take a whole fist inside them — but they can. Working Your fist inside a fag-cunt will teach You virtues like patience and persistence — qualities every Man should possess. Plus, once it’s inside, punching the faggot’s guts is fun and a great way to blow off some steam!

Dress it up: Men deserve something pretty to look at. Try dressing up Your faggot’s pussy in underwear or jockstraps that You find appealing. Then just sit back and admire, taking pride in Your possession.

Clean with it: Dirty home? Insert a broom or feather duster into Your faggot’s pussy and instruct the bitch to clean the house.

Train it: Real Men possess strong leadership skills. Because it takes discipline, patience and authority, training a tight little fag-cunt to stretch so it can accommodate large cocks and toys is a rewarding way to exercise and practice those leadership skills.

Plug it: You can plug a faggot’s pussy with a traditional butt plug, a vibrating butt plug that You control via remote, a locking butt plug or — if You want to transform Your faggot into a domesticated pet — a butt plug shaped like a pig or dog tail. All are good choices that will help you establish control over Your faggot and reinforce Your ownership of its pussy.

Shave it: Fag-pussies can be hairy or smooth. If You prefer Yours to be smooth, shave it. You own it, after all, and Your property should be customized to meet Your needs.

Eat it: Let’s be clear: Faggots don’t deserve pleasure. Only Men should enjoy the privilege of receiving a long, deep, relaxing rimjob. However, if it pleases You to eat fag-cunt, then You should absolutely eat fag-cunt — provided the experience is all about the pleasure You derive from eating, not the pleasure the faggot derives from being eaten.

Tease it: Fag-pussies are incredibly sensitive. Try smacking Your hard cock against the faggot’s pussy lips, for instance, penetrating the faghole with just the tip of Your cock or sliding Your cock up and down the crack of the faggot’s pussy. Watching the faggot squirm and beg is endlessly entertaining and satisfying!

Fig it: Faggots derive much pleasure from their pussies. But they also can derive much pain from them. If Your faggot needs to be punished, therefore, use its cunt against it. One way to do so is with figging — inserting a piece of peeled ginger into Your faggot’s pussy, where it will cause intense discomfort and burning pain in a matter of minutes. That’ll teach the fag to misbehave!