Litost

A Message to Women:

sometimes your heart will hurt. sometimes your smile will ache. sometimes your light will dim. sometimes your spirit will break. sometimes your entire world will come crashing down with no warning, and no signs.. but no matter how destroyed you feel - you have to be willing to dig deep inside of yourself to find some ambition to get you back right. you have to look out for you. you have to let go. you have to place your focus primarily on YOU. nothing about losing what’s familiar feels good.. but uncomfortable places can be beautiful. growth is beautiful. you are beautiful. you shouldn’t have to wait around and pray for someone to love you. you should love you. you should let go - because nothing worth holding onto will ever destroy you. and holding on is destroying you. trying to love someone into loving you - is destroying you. let go because you have to get a hold of you. you have to retrace your steps and figure out where you let YOU go. you have to take time to yourself to reflect on when and where you lost yourself. you have to let go of what no longer is - and accept what may have never been.. then you have to pick yourself back up. you have to release any negativity clouding your mind and you have to rid yourself of hopeful feelings. cleanse your soul. listen to your intuition. learn yourself. let go of any bad habits you’ve picked up along your journey. and start over. no matter how bad or how much it hurts.. let go and start over. holding on is destroying you.

my condolences to anyone who’s ever lost me and to anyone who got lost in me or to anyone who ever felt they took a loss with me. my apologies. for the misunderstanding or the lack thereof. i’m sorry you missed the God in me. and i’m sorry you missed the light. i’m sorry you forgot the way i arose like the moon, night after night. with the burden to forgive eager to feed you everything. see.. i’m a holy woman. i know what it’s like to give life to a being without ever needing to press skin against one another. i’ve practiced how to hold my tongue long enough, i’m afraid i forgot to say goodbye. i’m afraid you’re under the impression that i was made to please you. i was under the impression, you understood me better. the truth is, i’m a super woman. and somedays i’m an angry woman. and somedays i’m a crazy woman. for still waiting.. for still loving harder even if i’m aching. for still trusting that I’m still worth the most. for still searching for someone to understand me better.

I heard what you said. I’m not the silly romantic you think. I don’t want the heavens or the shooting stars. I don’t want gemstones or gold. I have those things already. I want…a steady hand. A kind soul. I want to fall asleep, and wake, knowing my heart is safe. I want to love, and be loved.