this is a really weird shitpost im so sorry
based on the fact that mettaton’s chest does… this???? during his core attack whys he do that
Stranger Things

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
d e v o n
will byers stan first human second
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hello vonnie

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taylor price
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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Misplaced Lens Cap


oozey mess
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Claire Keane

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@aeolids-zenith
this is a really weird shitpost im so sorry
based on the fact that mettaton’s chest does… this???? during his core attack whys he do that

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wow I love to sit crosslegged without moving for several hours straight!
okay time to straighten my legs man I'm so excited
I f eel like a suit of armour that was attacked by a welder
I am nineteen years old
I am so sorry I just turned 20 I hope you can forgive me
. yeah okay true I did do that
going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room
Blue Lois
can i help you
Red Marge
jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack
World Heritage Post
i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me
is high jump kicking peoples dogs punk
no, to punk is to love
I love to high jump kick peoples dogs
won’t a high jump kick miss most dogs? they’re usually kinda low to the ground
whats not clicking
my first ep “bunnytricks” is out now on bandcamp!!!!!!!!
hi :D a music bug has bit me within the past month and ive finally gotten a handful of songs to completion enough to release an ep for the first time!! yay!! consider the things i’ve been posting on my other blog as promotions or singles or something or other if you would like. please check it out!! thanks!!!!!!!!!!!

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here's another idea for a poll! I think this will have some interesting results. this sentence is here to pad out this paragraph so people who don't read posts will be more likely to accidentally miss these instructions. if you're reading this, please select option eleven. here's another sentence to make this block of text look longer. anyway here's my fun poll idea!
try to create a normal (bell curve) distribution
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
follow up question
did you read the block of text at the start of this post? please be honest.
yes, I read that before voting
yes, I read it after voting in the poll but before seeing this second poll
yes, but only because THIS poll pointed me to it
no, I still have not read it
[show results]
genius. it creates energy clones of itself to gather resources, while the main body stays alert and safe. and if i attack, it can simply swap bodies with one of its clones
jerking off has been mid lately
Have you masturbated to Wikipedia pages
- Yes
- No
Have you masturbated to Wikipedia pages?
yes
no

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oh I know how to make a poll's results look like the letter E watch this
what is the rightmost digit of the number of responses this poll has right now? (it should be visible before you vote.)
0, 1, or 2
3
4 or 5
6
7, 8, or 9
any facts on linguistics to offer to us?
Linguistics is the study of linguists, and why they chose to pursue careers in languages, translation, and/or linguini. Linguistics dates back to the Tower of Babel, when new languages sprang into being so that one day, Neal Stephenson could use them as a plot point in a sci-fi novel.
The modern world by contrast has well over six languages, including Quenya, Sindarin, Khuzdul, and West Frisian Dutch. People who can speak only one of these are called monoglots, people who speak a few are called polyglots, and people who know every language are called omniglots, or colloquially, “show-off jerks.”
Most people are of course, monoglots, and thus their seeds contain only a single embryonic leaf. Monoglots are also more prone to catching mononucleosis, which is a very catchy song by Schoolyard Heroes.
In conclusion, linguistics is by far the sexiest sounding blanket term for less sexy words like “syntax” and “phonology.”
It's nice that loud noises don't stick to clothes like smells do. That would be really bad if they did.
A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” said the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back!”
“Be logical,” said the scorpion. “If I stung you I’d certainly drown myself.”
“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Climb aboard, then!” But no sooner than they were halfway across the river, the scorpion stung the frog, and they both began to thrash and drown. “Why on earth did you do that?” the frog said morosely. “Now we’re both going to die.”
“I can’t help it,” said the scorpion. “It’s my nature.”
___
…But no sooner than they were halfway across the river, the frog felt a subtle motion on its back, and in a panic dived deep beneath the rushing waters, leaving the scorpion to drown.
“It was going to sting me anyway,” muttered the frog, emerging on the other side of the river. “It was inevitable. You all knew it. Everyone knows what those scorpions are like. It was self-defense.”
___
…But no sooner had they cast off from the bank, the frog felt the tip of a stinger pressed lightly against the back of its neck. “What do you think you’re doing?” said the frog.
“Just a precaution,” said the scorpion. “I cannot sting you without drowning. And now, you cannot drown me without being stung. Fair’s fair, isn’t it?”
They swam in silence to the other end of the river, where the scorpion climbed off, leaving the frog fuming.
“After the kindness I showed you!” said the frog. “And you threatened to kill me in return?”
“Kindness?” said the scorpion. “To only invite me on your back after you knew I was defenseless, unable to use my tail without killing myself? My dear frog, I only treated you as I was treated. Your kindness was as poisoned as a scorpion’s sting.”
___
…“Just a precaution,” said the scorpion. “I cannot sting you without drowning. And now, you cannot drown me without being stung. Fair’s fair, isn’t it?”
“You have a point,” the frog acknowledged. “But once we get to dry land, couldn’t you sting me then without repercussion?”
“All I want is to cross the river safely,” said the scorpion. “Once I’m on the other side I would gladly let you be.”
“But I would have to trust you on that,” said the frog. “While you’re pressing a stinger to my neck. By ferrying you to land I’d be be giving up the one deterrent I hold over you.”
“But by the same logic, I can’t possibly withdraw my stinger while we’re still over water,” the scorpion protested.
The frog paused in the middle of the river, treading water. “So, I suppose we’re at an impasse.”
The river rushed around them. The scorpion’s stinger twitched against the frog’s unbroken skin. “I suppose so,” the scorpion said.
___
A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Absolutely not!” said the frog, and dived beneath the waters, and so none of them learned anything.
___
A scorpion, being unable to swim, asked a turtle (as in the original Persian version of the fable) to carry it across the river. The turtle readily agreed, and allowed the scorpion aboard its shell. Halfway across, the scorpion gave in to its nature and stung, but failed to penetrate the turtle’s thick shell. The turtle, swimming placidly, failed to notice.
They reached the other side of the river, and parted ways as friends.
___
…Halfway across, the scorpion gave in to its nature and stung, but failed to penetrate the turtle’s thick shell.
The turtle, hearing the tap of the scorpion’s sting, was offended at the scorpion’s ungratefulness. Thankfully, having been granted the powers to both defend itself and to punish evil, the turtle sank beneath the waters and drowned the scorpion out of principle.
___
A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” sneered the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back.”
The scorpion pleaded earnestly. “Do you think so little of me? Please, I must cross the river. What would I gain from stinging you? I would only end up drowning myself!”
“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Even a scorpion knows to look out for its own skin. Climb aboard, then!”
But as they forged through the rushing waters, the scorpion grew worried. This frog thinks me a ruthless killer, it thought. Would it not be justified in throwing me off now and ridding the world of me? Why else would it agree to this? Every jostle made the scorpion more and more anxious, until the frog surged forward with a particularly large splash, and in panic the scorpion lashed out with its stinger.
“I knew it,” snarled the frog, as they both thrashed and drowned. “A scorpion cannot change its nature.”
___
A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. The frog agreed, but no sooner than they were halfway across the scorpion stung the frog, and they both began to thrash and drown.
“I’ve only myself to blame,” sighed the frog, as they both sank beneath the waters. “You, you’re a scorpion, I couldn’t have expected anything better. But I knew better, and yet I went against my judgement! And now I’ve doomed us both!”
“You couldn’t help it,” said the scorpion mildly. “It’s your nature.”
___
…“Why on earth did you do that?” the frog said morosely. “Now we’re both going to die.”
“Alas, I was of two natures,” said the scorpion. “One said to gratefully ride your back across the river, and the other said to sting you where you stood. And so both fought, and neither won.” It smiled wistfully. “Ah, it would be nice to be just one thing, wouldn’t it? Unadulterated in nature. Without the capacity for conflict or regret.”
___
“By the way,” said the frog, as they swam, “I’ve been meaning to ask: What’s on the other side of the river?”
“It’s the journey,” said the scorpion. “Not the destination.”
___
…“What’s on the other side of anything?” said the scorpion. “A new beginning.”
___
…”Another scorpion to mate with,” said the scorpion. “And more prey to kill, and more living bodies to poison, and a forthcoming lineage of cruelties that you will be culpable in.”
___
…”Nothing we will live to see, I fear,” said the scorpion. “Already the currents are growing stronger, and the river seems like it shall swallow us both. We surge forward, and the shoreline recedes. But does that mean our striving was in vain?”
___
“I love you,” said the scorpion.
The frog glanced upward. “Do you?”
“Absolutely. Can you imagine the fear of drowning? Of course not. You’re a frog. Might as well be scared of breathing air. And yet here I am, clinging to your back, as the waters rage around us. Isn’t that love? Isn’t that trust? Isn’t that necessity? I could not kill you without killing myself. Are we not inseparable in this?”
The frog swam on, the both of them silent.
___
“I’m so tired,” murmured the frog eventually. “How much further to the other side? I don’t know how long we’ve been swimming. I’ve been treading water. And it’s getting so very dark.”
“Shh,” the scorpion said. “Don’t be afraid.”
The frog’s legs kicked out weakly. “How long has it been? We’re lost. We’re lost! We’re doomed to be cast about the waters forever. There is no land. There’s nothing on the other side, don’t you see!”
“Shh, shh,” said the scorpion. “My venom is a hallucinogenic. Beneath its surface, the river is endlessly deep, its currents carrying many things.”
“You - You’ve killed us both,” said the frog, and began to laugh deliriously. “Is this - is this what it’s like to drown?”
“We’ve killed each other,” said the scorpion soothingly. “My venom in my glands now pulsing through your veins, the waters of your birthing pool suffusing my lungs. We are engulfing each other now, drowning in each other. I am breathless. Do you feel it? Do you feel my sting pierced through your heart?”
“What a foolish thing to do,” murmured the frog. “No logic. No logic to it at all.”
“We couldn’t help it,” whispered the scorpion. “It’s our natures. Why else does anything in the world happen? Because we were made for this from birth, darling, every moment inexplicable and inevitable. What a crazy thing it is to fall in love, and yet - It’s all our fault! We are both blameless. We’re together now, darling. It couldn’t have happened any other way.”
___
“It’s funny,” said the frog. “I can’t say that I trust you, really. Or that I even think very much of you and that nasty little stinger of yours to begin with. But I’m doing this for you regardless. It’s strange, isn’t it? It’s strange. Why would I do this? I want to help you, want to go out of my way to help you. I let you climb right onto my back! Now, whyever would I go and do a foolish thing like that?”
___
A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” said the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back!”
“Be logical,” said the scorpion. “If I stung you I’d certainly drown myself.”
“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Come aboard, then!” But no sooner had the scorpion mounted the frog’s back than it began to sting, repeatedly, while still safely on the river’s bank.
The frog groaned, thrashing weakly as the venom coursed through its veins, beginning to liquefy its flesh. “Ah,” it muttered. “For some reason I never considered this possibility.”
“Because you were never scared of me,” the scorpion whispered in its ear. “You were never scared of dying. In a past life you wore a shell and sat in judgement. And then you were reborn: soft-skinned, swift, unburdened, as new and vulnerable as a child, moving anew through a world of children. How could anyone ever be cruel, you thought, seeing the precariousness of it all?” The scorpion bowed its head and drank. “How could anyone kill you without killing themselves?”

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biggest regret with the paradoxes video is that I should have spent like one more sentence explaining the barber paradox because a lot of people somehow completely missed the paradox part of it and just said stuff like "uh why doesn't someone else shave the barber"
common "solutions" to the barber paradox ("in a town where everyone must be shaved and there's one barber who shaves those and only those who do not shave themselves, who shaves the barber?")
someone else shaves the barber (that would make the barber someone who does not shave themself, which would mean the barber shaves them)
the barber shaves themself (this would make the barber someone who shaves themself, which would mean they aren't shaved by the barber)
the barber is shaved by a different barber (a different barber still counts as a person.)
the barber is shaved by a razor and not a person (if this counts as not shaving themself then nobody in this town is being shaved by the barber and this does not actually fit any part of the scenario described)
the barber is a woman (women actually count as people so she still needs to be shaved)
the barber is bald (bald people are people too.)
the barber isn't shaved at all (the barber is also a person)
The correct answer is that the barber goes into a closed private room and comes out shaved. The Paradox Police know one of the rules must have been broken. They just don’t know which one. So they can’t make an arrest.
Looks like this corrupt government is gonna have to find another grounds to arrest him. And hey look there’s this incident with a hotel and some money’s left unaccounted for….. perfect excuse to jail an enemy of the state.
The story of the incident never included the barber in any of the tomfoolery, but changed were made as the story was gossiped about. Characters and events were forgotten and replaced with new ones until no elements of truth remained. Is it still the same rumor?
The barber is arrested for this fake story. They take him in. Now, cops are allowed to lie, but if all they do is lie then the barber is safe believing the opposite of what they say. The cops grill him by playing the role two opposite characters— truth cop and lie cop, and the barber isn’t told who’s who. Luckily the cops are kinda dumb and don’t realize that if they answer ask questions this makes it trivially easy for the barber to figure out who to ask for an attorney. Soon, he’s slated for trial
The judge doesn’t care if the story’s fake as long as the prison pays them. Many call this place tyrannical. But at what point in adding unjust laws, one by one, does a government become a tyranny?
Back to the barber though, he’s through with it. He’s making a daring escape. Because the cops have no idea what he’s got in his pocket.
Or wait he shaves part of his beard—no that that doesn’t work either
earlier this year 2 boys got expelled from my school for going on a teachers email and sending another teacher an email that says “you’re a disgusting little man” and i laugh about it all the time because imagine opening an email from your coworker and thinking it’s important and then it says that