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HOLLAND 👀👀 I WAS GOING TO MAKE AN ALUCARD BUT

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he supposes that athos must have ripped out that last shred of humanity he still had left when he cursed him. bound to follow their endless and cruel commands until they both draw their last breath. if he was still capable he would find himself daydreaming about a better future, yet that future seems still so far away. it appears that fate never really liked him, his past and his current state could easily support that claim. the raven had accepted such a long time ago and thus his expression does not change when somehow a girl finds herself standing in the hallway that leads to the throne room.

he always did wonder how it looked like to others when an antari would emerge through a portal, guess he knows now. except this person is no antari, so how…?

had they found a new way to travel to different worlds? should this be the case he should report this to the dane twins immediately. but they are not here and he has never been the good servant they wanted him to be. they don’t ask he doesn’t tell. despite the fact he is indirectly helping her by not reporting this event, he does not care for her wellbeing. it was her own fault for creating a portal    or simply ending up in to the castle of white london thanks to the chain of events. 

and thus with one hand resting on his back, he leans a tad bit forward in a formal bow. part of his bangs dangles in front of his pitch black eye though both eyes are hidden as he closed them for a brief moment in a greeting. once he reopens them his green eye is fixed on the girl before the black eye finds her gaze as well. he wonders if his eye scares her. holland is well aware that it scares most people, simply because he’s different, simply because they know what he is capable of. 

how odd though, the girl doesn’t seem to be afraid of him. 

despite his calm posture he cannot help but let out a sigh, mostly because he knows he will suffer regardless of her answer, ❛ astrid or athos? ❜

send me “alt!” and I’ll introduce you to a character I’ve rped in the past, want to play in the future or are currently playing somewhere else

a rustling sound echoes as light footsteps make it’s way to the direction of the other. she never liked hunting, never liked to having to end a life      even the life of an animal. it was not her task to hunt, she is only a captive, nothing more nothing less. in the end she only offered because she wanted to get away from her troubles even if it meant having to participate in these kinds of activities. she remembers the words of the prince well.

the grip on her lance tightens before taking a peek, expecting to see an animal in her pitfall trap but instead, it’s one of her ‘sister’s’ retainers. a blink follows in disbelief upon witnessing the sight. her lips part as she carefully asks,  ❛ setsuna are you alright…? ❜

❛ nohr first — but this is only old gold & rot, now. look at this despair & ruin — ❜ my little prince, he wanted to say, what has the world done to you? but, those words never came. instead, he simply observed the young man that leon had grown up to be ( he remembered the days where he’d carry his son on his shoulders, the day he knew the legendary tome, brynhildr, had found a worthy mage. how proud he was then!! as it seemed, those days were long gone. this was the future of despair ).

     ❛ i’ve seen what this world has become — i am sorry that i couldn’t protect you from all of this. ❜ if there was anything that the king of the dusk truly held dear in his heart, it was his CHILDREN. beyond the queens who had taken his heart & soul with them to the grave, more than the lovers who had dared chase away the demons in his head ( they expected him to be devoted & he was!! they expected his love & he gave it!! ) — his children were the proof of love, the proof that what he felt was REAL — & this was the fate in store. 

my father is DEAD. the words seemed to reach deep within him, a sad sigh escaping from parted lips. that was the strange pull he’d felt, the weariness that seemed to take hold of him all too suddenly. what was left of him in this cursed world would drag him to the world beyond ( but, he’d get to see katarina, he’d get to see arete — ).        ❛ dead… i see. that does not change who i am, & that does not change the fact that i am still your father, whether or not this is the world i know or if this is but a spell that i shall wake from — leon — ❜ 

❛ you have become cold — nohr first does not mean that you should close yourself off like this. are you not part of nohr? once, i was told the same thing. nohr first, but upon that throne, the king is the very heart of nohr; you must not lose your humanity. ❜ perhaps it was too late for words like these. the way leon said NOHR FIRST sent a chill through his weary heart. nohr first, that is the way of the king of the dusk, spoke his father’s voice in his mind. nohr first, but when you take the throne, then all of nohr will look to you. garon, what do you want the people to remember you as? a man or a machine? he wished to say those words to leon, but perhaps they would do no good. nohr first did not mean that the kingdom should have a heart of ice, the dusk did not need to be cold ( but, he could not change that now. not with the borrowed time he spent even as he stood there in silence ). ❛ i wish i could advise you further; a closed heart does not suit you. ❜

the ruins that the war left behind still stood tall despite it missing its former glory. the empire that rose to power, conquered beyond the horizon till they were stopped by a traitor in their midst. a traitor that they trusted, treated like one of their own before they were easily convinced to join the enemy side. how pitiful to see all your love, energy and time be wasted upon hearing one single sentence ‘we’re are your real family’ but are we, not family as well?

the sorcerer's loyalty is set in stone and no words could waver his loyalty to his family. the ones he had chosen and the ones that had chosen him. the love their father shared for his children, they shared the same love between each other., it was supposed to withstand everything    funny how in the end it revealed to be very fragile as the very moment those words left that person’s mouth his family was in ruins, broken & beyond repair. 

leon cannot accept this man to be his father even though all evidence points towards a simple truth: a truth he is incapable of accepting. so he pushes all hopes away despite knowing for a fact that this may be the moment he needs his father the most.

the grip on his tome tightens upon hearing that very last sentence leave his father’s lips. ❛ i... ❜ his voice is shaky, but he pushes himself to sound calm and confident (even though his mental state is everything but that)  ❛ i opened my heart once, it didn’t work out too well, ❜ look what it did, it left his country, his family and most importantly himself in ruins. ❛ it appears mother was right... people use it to their advantage to get what they desire. ❜ why did that wretched woman always needed to be right? he hated it, he hates that he begins to think that he should have listened more to her advice.

he sighs, ❛  i want this country to be the place my brothers and sister dreamt this place to be, ❜ a country that can withstand the challenge of time, a country that can feed its people without having to beg for it. ❛ a place that elise wanted it to be, the country marx was going to let it be ❜ he must carry on that torch for it’s his only light left. too much had been taken and even though he had tried to prepare himself for it, it could never be enough. ❛ that is why i will do anything in my power to rebuild and improve so all lives that were lost won’t be in vain. even if that means i have to close off my heart, even if i can never trust again, ❜ yet he will trust camilla and zero, forever and always. and maybe...

                   More or Less.

Well, it was better than nothing, or worse, in shambles. Camilla nodded softly at his words. Aye, they had blamed the crown in hers as well. Blamed them, tried to burn many official places down. The villa in Macarath had suffered the brunt of it, and truthfully the Nohrian Queen never liked the place anyways. She had sold that plot of land to be used by the people rather than keep it for something she preferred to go to Nestra for. “They did that here, too. Blamed us, the nobles. It wasn’t safe to go out for a while… until the reformations kicked in. We were all dispatched to help rebuild.” It hadn’t been easy, seeing the hatred and distrust when she walked amongst them as Princess. She had suffered through worse, however, and used her gifts and talents to ease their anger.

She listened to his statements, frowning softly. They didn’t have that issue here. The people had recognized that they needed a ruler, despite the heavy, heavy flaws of the system. There had been two sides – one for peace, one for war. The peace side one, but at a cost Camilla still questioned if it was worth it. “We had a similar issue… which ended upon my predecessor’s death. I think after that the warmongers were afraid of drawing my ire.” She commented quietly, “But I know they’re waiting for something to happen. Tensions are still… relatively high, and they keep a fine hand on the pulse to ensure they get what they want on occasion.”

A nod was given from the Nohrian Queen, and Camilla closed her good eye, “For the most part trade has been plentiful between the two nations. I surmise we would not be here, standing and speaking, if it were not for their intervention thrice when it came to those who spoke against me in Cheve. Thankfully diplomats from both sides were willing to concede that it was a good idea to remain peaceful.” She began playing with her hair, out of habit. “More or less, the people are happy. We are rebuilt – for the most part. Peace is fragile, but I hear that it is in Hoshido as well. I have thought about implementing war games between them and Nohr; to see if it would help ease tensions, but truthfully their southern neighbour keeps poking at festering wounds. It may be long before we hold a meeting of sorts to see what we can do about them.”  

a similar issue. those words only managed to strike fear into the king’s very being. his face didn’t reveal it, for he had managed the art of keeping a calm and collected posture at all times (except when his clothing would be inside out; but those days no longer). leon did not like the idea of his future being uncertain and judging by how the conversation he is well on his way to meet that certain fate. the only reassurance he has is that this timeline doesn’t fully align with the one he lives in as one crucial detail is lacking. a detail he rather not wishes to think about because the wound is still far too deep.

leon gives a small nod, the corners of his lips curving up upward as he adds,  ❛ if they know what’s good for them they will refrain from doing so, ❜ he pauses, ❛  then again i believe i would be giving them too much credit, ❜ until this day it still amazed the blond how ridiculously stupid people could be. 

leon allows a sigh to pass,  ❛ peace is     unfortunately     a fragile thing. it is astonishing to see how many people still wish for war despite the losses we suffered. ❜ his gaze wanders down for a bit before admitting, ❛ though i would be lying if i were to say the thought didn’t cross my mind before, but it would be a fool’s errand to indulge into such ideas, ❜ enough blood has been shed there’s no need for more. 

he won’t be able to bring back the people he lost so really what’s the point besides feeling his thirst for revenge?

it’s not worth it and he won’t fall into the temptation of it. ❛  i am not surprised to hear that the southern neighbours still engages in the same behaviour they did when the war was still ongoing, even now i wonder if we’ll ever find the chance to sit around the table without throwing accusations, ❜ accusations they will never be able to escape and accusations leon is tired of hearing. 

a brow is raised upon hearing the particular query, truth to be told he’s quite surprised that someone would ask him such thing. he has a way with words true but he couldn’t stop the distant surprise from appearing. ❛ if i were in your shoes huh, ❜ he repeats after the person while he thinks about it, once he came to a conclusion he gives but a simple nod. 

❛ if i were in your shoes i would make them aware of my presence. i would spend time with them and do what they enjoy doing while also showing them things I like to do during my spare time. it gives a chance to get to know each other as well as an opportunity to show genuine interest in someone. often people can see during a conversation if you’re genuinely interested or simply doing it out of obligation. it is also the first step towards your confession and a good way not to let it be cheesy or corny     as you called it. in the end, i’m afraid the chances still remain fifty fifty,  perhaps a bit more on the acceptance side if you happen to share similar interests and such. as for the confession itself; don’t be too blunt but don’t beat around the bush either just be honest with your feelings. you’ll find yourself to be a lot more comfortable that way than trying to remember a letter you’ll likely forget anyway. just remember not to wait too long because you’ll simply make it a lot more difficult for yourself. ❜

the hierophant

it is indeed a precious gift to understand the forces that guide oneself...

the hierophant is a symbol of education, authority, conservatism, obedience to rules and relationship with the divine. you are a person who interprets sacred mysteries or esoteric principles,

you are matured enough, quite wise and logical. However, you are somehow associated and obsessed with the past.